Tonight we learn that Tamra has had a really tough transition from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom. She doesn’t feel like showing houses is really a job- it’s fun! We see her showing a pretty nifty house, and she tells her client that the house comes furnished, and with a brand new Ferrari. Whoa! That’s some house! She shows the guy all around the house, but then points out all the clothes in the walk in closet. Maybe the clothes come with the house too?
Tamra really likes that her “job” allows her to be self sufficient and she doesn’t have to rely on her husband to take care of her or her family. She lives by the motto “get what you give” which makes me think she must have given a lot of Botox in her lifetime.
Remember that Jeana has two sons, and one of them plays minor league baseball? Yep. Jeana and Colton are going out to see Shane play, and Colton is pretty excited to see his big bro and some baseball. As soon as they get to Canada, Jeana gushes about how proud she is that her kid is making his way in baseball and living in a foreign country. Shane is also happy that he is making his way in baseball and less happy that he is living in a foreign country, but what can you do?
Lest we think Canadian-minor-league-baseball-playing Shane has turned over a completely new leaf, he admits that earlier in the day he was so mad that he broke a chair and kicked over some laundry bins. Right after this announcement, Jeana tells us that she hopes Colton emulates Shane in a positive way. Oookay.
Hey! There’s a new housewife in the OC tonight! Her name is Quinn Fry, and right off the bat she tells us that she travels in the same social circles as Jeana, but it doesn’t seem like she’s friends with Jeana. She’s been married twice, and kind of regrets her second divorce because she hasn’t been able to find a guy to settle down with since she left her husband. She tells us that she’s looking for her guy, and she knows he will be a Christian and believe in her God.
Quinn has a few boyfriends, and the first one we meet is Billy. She and Billy met at a wine bar and he is a golf pro. We get to see them at another wine bar, and the date is… kind of uncomfortable to watch. Quinn is all about the PDA, but Billy seems a little more reserved, and actually blushes when Quinn tells him that they kiss more than they talk. Quinn admits that she loves physical affection and hates being alone, and then embarrasses herself (and me) by talking about how much she loves being with Billy and she hates hanging out in the Jacuzzi alone because it makes her miss him. Then she mortifies me further by saying that she doesn’t like to be out in public with Billy because she just wants to “take him out back and mack on him.” Wow. There’s all sorts of wrong in that statement. I’m not even going to comment.
Anyhow, Quinn and Billy move to a table for dinner, and Quinn whispers that she wants to kiss his neck, which makes Billy ask her if she really goes to church. When Quinn asks Billy when she will see him again, he suggests the next day and she tells him she has a date with another guy. With that, Billy decides that the date is over.
Vicki’s in Seattle for a while at Efinancial (the sister company to Coto Insurance). Her son Michael is interning there for a few days, and she wants to make sure he does well. Michael is pretty interested in insurance, and hopes to make a lot of money.
Vicki addresses her staff and kind of makes her son sound like an idiot. She tells them that he tried construction with his dad the summer before and didn’t do too well at that, so now he’s going to try the whole insurance thing. She tells us that she was shocked that Michael wanted to try insurance, and that she is not going to teach him the business because he needs to learn it on his own. Then she hovers over him all day and tells him that he is stapling the documents wrong. Coincidentally, in my real life I work in the insurance field, and his stapling looked just fine to me,
Darn, it’s time for Lauri. She and George are out celebrating the anniversary of their engagement. Lauri tells us that she’s excited about her upcoming wedding and since she has been married three times, she had almost forgotten what it was like to be happy. George has changed her with his offers of love and travel, and now they’re planning for the future.
By “planning for the future” Lauri means they will be taking a trip in an RV to see the country. That’s not a joke. Lauri is all excited about this prospect, and George is not excited at all. He prefers 5-star hotels and I really don’t blame him.
Tamra’s family is up again, and now we get to spend some time on Ryan. Simon got Ryan an interview at the Mercedes dealership, and Ryan got the job. It’s not the job he wants, but it is a job and he needs one so he takes it. Tamra thinks that Simon is a workaholic, so she “surprises” him at the dealership with two of their kids. Simon seems happy with the surprise, but he’s not as happy when Ryan joins the group and is not wearing his uniform. Ryan doesn’t care for the new job and can’t figure out why he went to school to get a job and earn $10 an hour. Well. Welcome to the real world, Ryan.
Back in Seattle, it’s Michael’s last day interning at the agency, and everyone is going on a yacht tour of Lake Washington. As usual, Vicki is very very loud on the boat. Michael comments that he’s going to get another beer and go overboard (I think so that he can get away from his obnoxious mom), and Vicki snaps “Michael, you’re with my peers!” She’s concerned about his drinking, but honestly- the kid is 21, in college and can probably hold his alcohol pretty well. Vicki ends the evening by screeching out “I want a Slippery Nipple.” And I’ll bet she gets one. A drink, that is.
Jeana is still in Canada. Colton gets to work out with Shane in the stadium and she’s hoping that Shane doesn’t embarrass him too badly. Everything was fine though and Colton had a great time. Jeana thinks that Colton and Shane have a great relationship now that Shane is out of the house, and that they have a special bond because they’re brothers. And that’s it for this boring segment.
Back to Quinn! She’s putting on makeup so that she can meet Guy # 2- Jared. She and Jared have been “friends” on and off for several months, and she is meeting him for dinner. She tells us that she doesn’t feel bad for dating two guys- she needs to play the field.
When she meets up with Jared she tells us that she thought he was 36 when she met him but it turns out he is only 26! Yeah. I think Quinn’s eyesight must be going because that guy does not look anywhere near 36. In fact, I would have guessed that he’s younger than 26. Quinn freaked out when she found out his age, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to date him.
Quinn and Jared go out to dinner, and one thing that I’ve noticed about Quinn so far is that she really likes to have the twins on display. I mean she really does. Quinn fawns over Jared’s shirt and eyes, and touches him seductively. She compliments his watch, and he tells her that the watch is very special- he can ask it a question telepathically and it will give him the answer. He decides to ask his watch if Quinn has panties on, but dang- I could tell him the answer to that one and I am not some magic watch. Jared announces that his watch says Quinn is not wearing panties, and Quinn tries to change the subject by suggesting they eat a taco. Seriously.
*Sigh* Back to Lauri. She and Ashley are having some mommy/daughter time together over lunch. Lauri is disappointed that the town house has not sold, and thinks that if it doesn’t sell in 30 days she’ll rent it out. She doesn’t think that Ashley really understands that the house is for sale, but I’m pretty sure that’s a concept even Ashley can grasp.
Lauri reveals the RV plans, and Ashley is just about as excited as George was. Lauri comments that when she showed George the RV, they almost got into their first fight. Wait… these two have been together for how long and are getting married and they’ve never fought? Never? Ashley tells Lauri that she’ll go as long as she can bring some medication to get her through the trip. Then she tells her mom she wants to be her maid of honor. Lauri hems and haws and says that she was going to ask her sister. Ashley doesn’t think this is fair because it’s her mom’s third wedding, and her aunt has already been her mom’s maid of honor. Lauri says that she’ll think about it, and I really wonder what there is to think about.
Surprisingly, Lauri is a big Project Runway fan and has made an appointment with Austin Scarlett to try on dresses from his wedding collection. She and her bridesmaids head out to Saks Fifth Avenue in a stretch limo to watch the spectacle. Austin has selected about 20 dresses for Lauri to try on, but first tries to get a feel for what she wants. She tells him she’s looking for something ivory, strapless and romantic. And I think we can assume that she really wants something that will show off most of her boobs. At first she doesn’t want to do a white dress since it’s her third wedding, but after trying a few on she starts to rethink this. Yes, this may be her third wedding, but she is going to have a huge celebration and look great on her special day.
Austin asks Ashley if she likes George and for some reason Ashley replies that she does. Then she talks about how this is the first time she’s seen her mom happy since she was a child, and Lauri really deserves to be happy. Yeah- that’s exactly what I was thinking about Lauri. Exactly.
To end tonight’s episode, all of the women are getting together at a swanky eatery so that they can “meet” Quinn. Quinn is a little intimidated because most of the other ladies are pretty over the top. Tammy comments that they are a tough group and are hard on their friends. And their help. And their children.
The ladies call Quinn over and immediately ask her how old she is. They pretend that they want to know because she’s so hot, but I just know they want to make catty remarks about her age. She shows them though, by telling them that she’s 29 plus. Then Jared shows up and she shows them again… sort of. As soon as Jared walks up, Vicki asks Quinn if that’s her son. After Quinn and Jared walk away, the other ladies can’t wait to gossip about the situation. Vicki can’t believe they’re a couple, and asks Quinn if it’s true, to which Quinn replies that they are friends. The women are still floored, and Tamra ends this exciting episode with an uber-bitchy remark about how Quinn could pull off the whole 26 year old boy toy thing if she was super hot, but that’s just not the case. Ouch.
Tune in next week to see Tamra make some stupid and inappropriate jokes to her clients!