RHOOC 11/13 Recap- Vapid is All That Comes to Mind

[SueEllenMishke]

Last week we got to catch up on what the ladies and their privileged offspring have been up to, and this week we get to dive right in to their mundane day-to day lives.

How does an underwater volcano spew fire, Vicki?
First up, Vicki has been struggling to fit time into her schedule for a workout, so she and Jeana decide that the solution is to drive up to some sketchy building at 5:30 in the morning, along with 60 or so of the OC’s finest housewives. Why are they at this building? Why, it’s Adventure Boot Camp, of course! I’m not really sure where the adventure is, because the women are doing a pretty standard work out, and every so often they run around some tennis courts, but maybe the sky diving or being chased by wild animals happens in a later session.



Vicki and Donn are now empty nesters, so they’ve decided to downsize a little but by buying a slightly smaller home. They are “downsizing” into a $1.9 million dollar, 4000 square foot home on a golf course. They plan to sell the Coto home so that they don’t have to worry about funds for their retirement.

Vicki likes the new home because of its Italian feel, but also hates the new home because it isn’t the house in Coto. The rooms are smaller, it’s not as nice and it’s kind of an embarrassment for her to be downsizing to the $1.9 million dollar home. I just felt funny writing “embarrassment,” “downsizing” and “$1.9 million dollar’ in the same sentence, but that’s probably because I just don’t understand the ways of these OC housewives.

Since the new house is so small, and so cheap, it really needs a lot of work- especially the backyard. She wants a pool with a fire and ice theme, (oooh- she must be a Pat Benatar fan!), and an underwater volcano with fire spewing out. Donn wants to save some of their money by not buying ridiculous things like an underwater volcano for their pool. To be fair to Vicki though, I have to mention that Donn does not even want to get a dishwasher, which is a pretty standard and useful appliance. Their contractor tries to mediate by explaining that they do not have to do everything all at once, and then Vicki gives a speech about how she has to always have the best of everything, and hasn’t figured out why this is the case.

Finally for Vicki and Donn- they decide to have a date night, and Vicki even puts on her wedding ring for the occasion! She tells us that she’s a workaholic and hasn’t been putting the time into her marriage that she should be. After she’s said this though, her office phone rings as they are leaving, but she doesn’t even answer.

Mirror, mirror on the wall- Tamra is the most vapid of them all!
Tamra used to be a stay at home mom, but now she wants a career- she wants to be somebody, so she got her real estate license. She also says she’s been having kids for 20 years (!), and that staying at home with kids is much more difficult than showing a house every few days.

She’s hosting the monthly Bunco party, which is a time where all the women on the block get together and complain about the help and drink. I didn’t know what Bunco is, but it’s a dice game, and apparently to play it correctly, you must:
• Be wearing a really low cut shirt
• Be really, really drunk
• Be really, really loud,
• Make jokes about “blowing.”
• Say things like “Oh, no you din’t!”

Along with loving Bunco and drinking, Tamra also loves being tan! She’s really proud of her golden skin and blond hair. She’s sad because she has not had a lot time to sit out in the sun, so goes tanning, even though she knows it’s not so good for her. Tamra is going to be 40 in a month, so her priority right now is not her health- it’s looking good. She tries to keep fit, gets her hair done and her nails done. She wants to look the hottest she ever has when she hits 40.

Tamra likes riding Harleys with her husband because it relaxes him and gives her a unique shopping experience. Apparently, when you ride a Harley you can get away with wearing things like leather vests and pink bandanas. She likes riding because she likes the clothes.

Tamra ends her coverage on tonight’s show by talking again about her birthday. She is scared and thinks she doesn’t have control over aging. I think she’s right about that.

Jeana, Jeana, Jeana… please don’t let Colton end up like Shane!
Jeana is worried about her son Colton. She feels like he’s going down a bad path (following after his brother Shane). She calls him a “little rascal” and says she just can’t leave him home alone any more. He’s not even 16, so I don’t know why she’s leaving him alone all the time anyway, but no more! He just can’t be trusted!

Jeana tells him that she wants him to be a good example, (to whom?) and that he’s been letting her down lately with his drinking and his bad behavior. She wants him to be anti- drugs and alcohol like his sister Kara, and we see a clip of her making fun of some boy for drinking wine. “Isn’t wine for women?” she asks. No, Kara. Wine is a wonderful treat that can be enjoyed by men and women alike, and I don’t need you judging me, er… them.

Jeana goes on to tell Colton that if he feels the need to drink and party because of his friends- he needs new friends. Then she goes on to tell this long and strange story about how the last time she went out of town, Colton illegally drove their golf cart to save a puppy and was chased by some helicopters. Yeah, I didn’t really get it either. The result is that the golf cart is now kind of locked up so Colton can’t use it. Not even to save puppies.



Jeana feels like she’s tougher on Colton than she was on Shane, and is a harder disciplinarian, but Colton tells us that he’s never been grounded and his mom is not a very good disciplinarian.

There’s a lot going on with Jeana in this episode! Right now, Jeana is completely focused on finding Kara a school. She didn’t get in to her top choices, but she did get accepted by Berkeley, so she and her mom are taking a weekend trip to check our housing and the campus. They’re not taking Colton. That’s right, that means that Colton is home alone for the weekend.

Colton wakes up the next morning and finds that he is all alone in the house. He tells us that his mom neglected to tell him she would be gone, and he seems a little sad about the whole thing. He goes to a car show with his friend Terry, but it’s a little bittersweet because he feels abandoned and depressed because he doesn’t even have a car, (or a driver’s license). Then, he tries to call his mom, and gets her voice mail. Awww, poor kid!

Jeana ends this episode by micro-managing a BBQ that Colton is throwing for some of this friends. She checks in on the party, and then asks all of this friends if they have her towels because they’re missing. Jeana tells us that she knows she told him she was going to be gone. Colton tells us his mom makes him want to kill himself.

Tammy and her daughters learn to give, er… drive a Hummer!
Tammys’ turn! She is having a BBQ with her daughters at her sister’s house. It seems that there’s been some sad news for Tammy’s girls because their dad recently passed away. Tammy has some sensitive advice for them though, and tells them that “it is what it is” and that they can’t feel sorry for themselves. Actually, Tammy- I think it’s probably okay for your daughters to feel a little sorry for themselves after the death of their father.

Unfortunately, Lou did not have a will or insurance and the girls have been left with nothing except the OC energy drink. They have to be self sufficient since their dad is gone, and that unfortunately means they actually have to do work on the drink. The girls aren’t used to the schedule of hard work, because their dad let them pretty much do what they want, and now there’s some dude in charge making them do stuff, and that just sucks. The ladies learn that the insurance company is a little upset because they’ve had so many accidents with the Hummer they are supposed to be using to promote the drink, but they really don’t care.



Early, early, early in the morning, Lindsey, Tammy, Ashley and Christin meet to learn how to properly drive the Hummer so that there are no accidents. For some reason they’re all wearing red jumpsuits. The instructor is not wearing a red jumpsuit, and maybe that’s why he seems terrified as the girls take turns driving and running over cones. Christin drives the Hummer the most, so everyone assumes she will do the best. They’re wrong. She does horribly, gets scolded about her poor driving and then complains to the instructor, who is just happy to be alive.



Lauri is all about Lauri.
Lauri really feels like her house is now a family unit. Even Ashley (who still lives in the townhouse), spends a lot of time there. In fact, she’s always there. When we first see Ashley tonight, she’s curled up on a twin sized bed because she’s sick. Lauri thinks that Ashley craves the family unit, and really loves spending time with Lauri, George, and the assorted children they have between them

When we next see Ashley, she is getting her hair done for a party at the Playboy Mansion. She’s super excited and comments that she doesn’t think her mom will be hanging out at the Playboy Mansion now that she’s with George. Lauri tells us that she’s “been there, done that,” but I’ll bet there’s a little part of her that would like to be getting all gussied up to hang out at the Playboy Mansion. George’s daughter McKenzie is tagging along to the party, and for some reason, Lauri trusts that Ashley will look after McKenzie. It’s nice to hear McKenzie say that she and Ashley have become very close, and she doesn’t think that she and Ashley have ever “foughten.” Good to hear that ladies. I hope you never will.

Lauri has decided to sell the townhouse, which is bittersweet for her. The sweet is that she can make some fat cash off the sale, and the bitter is that she’s giving up the first big purchase she made totally on her own after the divorce. She’s nervous about listing the house while Ashley is still sort of living there, but Ashley seems okay with the idea. I think Lauri should make sure to remove all cats from the premises first though.

Lauri meets with a realtor to get some ideas about the house, and wanders into Josh’s empty room. She tells us that Josh won’t be back- he won’t be living there any more. When Josh came out of treatment, Lauri set some house rules for him- no alcohol, no drugs, no overnight guests or parties. Within two weeks, Josh had broken all of the rules, so Lauri removed him from the house. I’m with her up until now with the story, I really am, but then she starts to cry and says that Josh has moved in with George’s ex-wife. Then she says “As a parent- think about that. What child would do that? That was a huge stab in my heart.” Way to make it all about you, Lauri. Maybe the kid just needed a place to live. Lauri finishes up this episode by commenting that her life is so perfect right now, except for the Josh thing, and she just wishes that was perfect as well. Good luck with that one, Lauri.



Tune in next week to see one of the kids almost die!!

[Google]

 

[bewty]

Excellent recap SueEllenMishke...thanks

[Margaritaville]

I just want to clarify the dishwasher thing - I believe Donn didn't want to buy a dishwasher for the outdoor kitchen set-up. Vicki said that they had to have it, and Donn argued that they never used it. I tend to agree with Donn on this one. How hard is it to just tote the dirty dishes inside?

[ladychat]

Great re-cap. Thought this episode was boring ,or maybe the subject matter is boring me!

[MissNomer]

I thought there would be no recap this week as it was a show about nothing. Seinfeld did a much better job with that genre. The re-cap was more interesting than the actual show!
This was mish-mash/hodge-podge. It was very boring indeed. This was the first time I actually got to see a first run episode and not one of the reruns. Huge disappointment to sit through but the Norma Desmond finish made it all worth while. Win-Place-or-Show "cried" -- oh! the horror!!

[lakergirl1]

Funny recap! Esp in lite of how boring the epsiode was.

[Toad]

Originally Posted by SueEllenMishke

Tune in next week to see one of the kids almost die!!

What if we "almost" tune in, Sue?
Nice Recap!

[Margaritaville]

Originally Posted by lakergirl1

Funny recap! Esp in lite of how boring the epsiode was.

You guys are harsh! Poor Lauri poured her heart into the little tearfest and you found it "boring"??? I had tears in my eyes just watching her little meltdown and I was just waiting for George to come in and hold her. Where was her knight in shining armor? my heart breaks for her... except not so much.

[Heaven22]

I threw up in my mouth a little when I watched. Does that count?

[Yardgnome]

Great recap, SEM! Thanks for bringing entertainment to this unexciting episode.