8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

[Dragonlady]

As far as Ashley having a "plan" for her future, I think that's great. she's 20 yrs old, what's stopping her from doing it? To me, she's not off pursuing this dream because she wants all the perks too. She wants her school, or living arrangements paid for (or else she'd be doing it) and she wants to do it in some glamorous location like California. Why not get your education in NJ?
Those are the things that bother me about Ashley. She wants it all. She won't consider anything less than going first class.
Her parents (all 4) have created this monster and now realize their mistake. Who buys all her clothes, who pays for her gas, who buys her cosmetics, her cell phone bill, her car's insurance, her money to go out with friends?? The parents do!
They should offer to pay her tutition to school (in NJ), make her get a job to pay for some of the above perks if she wants to continue to live at home.
I find what she said and how she treats Jacqueline almost unforgivable. (And Chris also, for that matter.) The crack about not having a kid at her age and not giving her mother even a card for Christmas is just horrible. She might as well have slapped her mother in her face.
Ooooh, Ashley makes me sooo mad.

[Poppy Fields]

I agree that Ashley needs to get out of that house. She and her mother are toxic for each other.

It seems to me that Ashley has never really fit into the Laurita household. There are many reasons that this can happen to an only child whose mother remarries, and they have been written about extensively elsewhere, so I won't try to recap them here.

Ashley doesn't "fit" in either her mother's or her father's households. She's not really part of them the way her step siblings are, and I think she's been unappy for a long time. Her high school years seem to have been particularly unhappy for her - the "mosted hated" girl in her school, according to her. I see disdain and contempt for her mother every time Jac tries to give her any kind of advice. I also see and hear plently of disdain and contempt for Ashley from her mother. These are issues that have some history behind them. They are really good at pushing each other's buttons. You'd think that Jacqui would have learned by now not to give Ashley the satisfaction of a reaction when she pulls this.

Her parents' notion of "guiding" her seems to consist soley of trying to get her back on her feet after she's failed them. I doubt they've invested much time in "guiding" her, at least as far as education and career planning go. It's definitely time for Ashley to move out.

The only higher education her parents have provided for her so far is a few courses at a community college. Not a big investment, and we don't know if Ashley passed those courses or not. All we know is Jac says she didn't "finish" - whatever that means. Community colleges typically just provide the curriculum a student needs to transfer into a 4 yr. bachelor's program. It could mean that she didn't want to attend college after her introduction to it. Not all kids are suited for college, and we know Ashley's not particularly suited to adademic pursuits. How her parents could be unaware of this is beyond me. But trade school? I'd be all over that if I were her parents.

Paying her beauty school tuition (even adding in community college course tuitions) will be far less of an investment than they would have borne if Ashley were attending a 4-year college or university away from home. I think there is something punitive in their apparent lack of support. It's palpable.

I think that Ashley will leave home (probably already has) and land on her feet. But her rift with her mother won't heal any time soon.

[AcookerTV]

Poppy, you give Ashley a lot more leeway than I think she deserves based on what we've seen on TV. I would agree that Jacqueline has contributed to the problem. She does flip out emotionally everytime she's challenged by Ashley, and it does no good. But I don't think that excuses Ashley. Whether its her parents, or other people in her life, Ashley seems to view people as a means to an end. She doesn't show appreciation to the people who show kindness to her. Take her parents out of the equation. When she was at the Brownstone for New Years, first she wanted to take advantage by bringing a lot of friends. Then she wanted to take advantage by drinking under age, on camera. That would have brought serious liability issues for her family members who own the place. Caroline was right to shut that down, and still Ashley sat there as if she was being mistreated instead of considering what it would have done to her uncle. Ashley is extremely immature. Maybe that's because for too long, her parents just gave to her without instililng a need to appreciate what she had. But she cozies up to people when she thinks it will get her something, and turns on them when they fail to give to her. It takes more to stand on your own two feet than to simply say "I want it". I can understand why her parents are reluctant at this point to support her hopes. She tried moving out of the house once before, and failed at that and moved back home. She's tried getting jobs, but failed to show up. She tried going to college, but failed her classes (either Jacqueline or her ex said on Sunday's show that she failed all her classes). Until Ashley learns that just wanting is not enough, that she has to work for what she wants, she'll continue to face the problems she does now. She also doesn't seem to recognize just how lucky she is that when she decided to move out, and coudln't make it on her own, that her parents took her back.

[Poppy Fields]

I tend to think they brought her back to be on the show. She's Jac's only story now. I remember it was touch and go as to whether she would be appearing this season. I also think she was living with her boyfriend in his mother's house - so, when they broke up she had to find another address.

Don't get me wrong - I think Ashley has a rotten attitude toward her parents. I think she actually dislikes them, and is possiblly ashamed of them. The fact that she chooses to express this (like not even giving them a Christmas card) is deplorable. And when Jac is addressing her, I can see hostility and passive agressiveness in both of them. It's ugly. I really believe her issues with them, and them with her, are not going to be resolved any time soon.

Her moving out will be best for them all. If she were my kid, I'd make sure she got her a$$ enrolled in that beauty school and that she lived as far as possible away from me. I'd let her know that this was IT, the final parental effort in getting her employable and that if she failed she'd be stuck in California on her own.

But I'd sure as hell write that school her tuition checks and I'd pray every day for her. The Lauritas can certainly afford it, and it beats kicking her to the curb, imo. In Jac's most recent blog she asks, "Shoul we let her go to California? Let me know what you think."

[Annastasia B]

That may be part of the problem... Jac shouldn't be asking "should I let her go to Calfornia". What she should be asking is "should I be supportive of her going to California". Ashlee is 20 yrs old... she's not a baby anymore and they need to quit trying to coddle her. If she wants to go to Cali she will.... Hopefully they will help her with tuition to beauty school but i think the support should stop there. If she thinks she adult enough to move accross the country then she can be adult enough to get a job and pay for her own apt,etc. Ashlee simply has some serious growing up to do.

[Dragonlady]

Poppy, you're a much nicer person than I am and give Ashley more leeway than I would.

As to being the most unpopular girl in high school, I find it hard to believe that it was based solely on every single other high school student's meaness. Ashley must have contributed somehow to get that label. Many, many people had lousy experiences in high school and that doesn't excuse extreme lack of gratitude to her parents.

I will definitely grant that Ashley is not solely to blame for her behavior. I find it laughable when parents complain about their spoiled children.
Hello??!!! How do you think they got that way???


Then if we really look at Jacquline, she's not the best role model to begin with. She seems pleasant, but I have to wonder about her mental stability, looking at all the plastic parts and "work" she has done and she's still a young attractive woman. She seems to go out of her way to befriend the "enemies," such as Danielle and Kim G. She did make a wise decision when she married her husband because he seems like one of the best of the Jersey men.

But I have yet to see a closeness that usually exists between a mother and daughter, esp when it was just the two of them for so many years. I see a competitiveness between the two, a lack of trust on both sides.

I'm all for parents paying for any education a child wants/needs. Even if the kids have failed before. You never know when they'll finally mature, find what they truly want to do, etc. but in Ashley's case, that's all I'd pay for. I wouldn't call what Ashley has expressed as a "plan" but more like one more fantasy that sounds good to her, until she finds out how much work is involved.

[Poppy Fields]

I agree with everything you said in your last post, Dragonlady. Tuition is the only support I'd commit to giving her although I would be sorely tempted to subsidize her rent when she needed it. I'd want to keep her 3,000 miles away from me for the year or so it would take to complete her courses.

My oldest son had some issues like Ashley's, in that he was quite contemptuous of me although he would never speak ill of me, except to my face. He was insolent and rude to me on a daily basis. To everyone else in his life he was charming. In HS the only reason he got C's was to stay eligible for sports. He was no scholar. When he went off to college he wanted to be a forest ranger. Today he's an architect. There were a lot of "plans" in between his HS graduation and the MFA he now holds. And he got that degree on his own. I think there's hope for Ashley if they just let her go and try her wings.

[PA Snow Bunny]

Supporting her going to Cali is one thing, supporting her in Cali would be a mistake. Ashley is one of those problem children that are ultra spoiled & unless pushed from the nest will never learn to fly on her own.

The notion that she doesn;t fit in with either family is a bit of a cop-out IMHO. Chris raised her from the time she was 4 years old. It does seem to me that Jacquline does not have a clue how to raise young adults. Parenting is an ongoing, never ending job that begins when your child takes their first breath & only ends when you take your last breath. My sons are 30 & one will soon be 26. I will advise them but I make them figure it out on their own. Sometimes you do need to take a step back & let them skin their knees, give them a band-aid & send them on their way.

Ashley did not need, can not afford & did not deserve a brand new Jeep. What is wrong with a used Honda?

[Annastasia B]

I thought she was suppose to begin making the payments on that Jeep. Aren't that $500 + per month. How does she think she's going to go to school, pay for her car and expenses in CAli. She obviously hasn't looked at the cost of an apt's in that area. They're not cheap.

I grew up in So. Cali and would love to move back. I can't however fathom paying $300,000 for a house there that I can get for $130,000 here. Plus the traffic is awful. I was there in Feb and accidently ended up on one of those express lanes in the center of the freeway... It took several miles before I could figure out how to get out of it!

Anyway, I'll be suprised if Ashlee last 3 months in Cali.

[Poppy Fields]

Or a Kia?