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Thread: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

  1. #21
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Inasmuch as Ashley's move to California would involve her going to school for a beauty license, I don't think her chances of survival are all that slim. Kids can surprise you that way. I know mine did!

    Getting accepted to a school, finding housing (something schools help you do), and finding a part time job once she settles in doesn't seem horribly challenging. If she were 28, jobless, and still living at home I would agree with you. But when your 20 year old has a plan to get the necessary training to make a living, I think you should not underestimate her ability to do that.

    My kids went thousands of miles away from home for college. No mother ever fretted more than I did over this. Neither of them stayed in a dorm after their first semesters. They worked part time and had a lot of roommates. And they did live in very expensive cities (San Francisco and NYC).

    I think this is defintely a reasonable goal for her. She's not enrolling in a premed program. Ashley has stated that she will find a job, as well as pursue a license, and will cover her own housing from the money she's made on Bravo. In my opinion, she deserves the support of her parents in this. All kids do. Jacqueline blogs that she believes in her daughter. She should demonstrate that, IMO. You know... support her plan instead of publicly ridiculing her on TV.

    Win or lose, Ashley will be a better person for this experience.
    Last edited by Poppy Fields; 08-16-2011 at 03:49 PM.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  2. #22
    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields View Post
    Inasmuch as Ashley's move to California would involve her going to school for a beauty license, I don't think her chances of survival are all that slim. Kids can surprise you that way. I know mine did! They didn't make their beds, either. Or help out much at home. But they did just fine away from home and were quite successful in college.

    If she were 28, jobless, and still living at home I would agree with you. But when your 20 year old has a plan to get the necessary training to make a living, I think you should not underestimate her ability to do that.

    My kids went thousands of miles away from home for college. No mother ever fretted more than I did over this. Neither of them stayed in a dorm after their first semesters. They worked part time and had a lot of roommates. And they did live in very expensive cities (San Francisco and NYC).

    I think this is defintely a reasonable goal for her. Ashley has stated that she will find a job, as well as pursue a license, and will cover her own housing from the money she's made on Bravo. In my opinion, she deserves the support of her parents in this. All kids do. Jacqueline blogs that she believes in her daughter. She should demonstrate that, IMO.

    Win or lose, Ashley will be a better person for this experience.
    I agree with you, Poppy. I think this is the push Ashley needs to grow up a bit and learn responsibility. I know for myself, when I was 18 and went off to college, a lot of growing up happened. It was an adjustment in life and something Ashley needs a chance at. She's either going to make it or fail, and this will be good eye opening experience to her regardless. I think Ashley staying home and not doing much, is making it worse and worse for her as time goes by.

  3. #23
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    While I do think that Jacqueline has some definite issues, too, I do give her a lot of credit for being a single mom for a long time.
    Yes, she probably did have some support from her parents, but I do think she just tried to do the best for herself and her daughter. And, I do think the marriage to Chris was probably a way to cement she / daughter's future, as well. Ashlee shows that she has absolutely no respect for Jackie or Chris or anyone else. She even went on about how wrong it was for her Mom to have 2 kids with Chris!! Give me a break.
    No matter what Ashlee might have gone through - and it doesn't look all that bad from where I'm sitting - Jackie deserves a lot more credit and respect than Ashlee is giving her.
    Ashlee is the most narcissistic person I've ever seen on a reality show!!
    I'm sorry, but I just can't find anything at all to like about her.
    To Thine Own Self Be True

  4. #24
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Newsboi View Post
    Do any of you REALLY believe that Ashlee (Don't call me Ashley!) could manage on her own in California for more than five minutes? The kid can't even make her bed. Why would any parent listen to that ridiculous plan and be encouraging.
    you're absolutely right....Ashley wouldn't make it in CA. but maybe that's what she needs to realize how immature she behaves. She thinks she's an adult but she acts like a child, totally dependent on parents, making bad choices, etc.
    AmyKay likes this.

  5. #25
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    you're absolutely right....Ashley wouldn't make it in CA. but maybe that's what she needs to realize how immature she behaves. She thinks she's an adult but she acts like a child, totally dependent on parents, making bad choices, etc.
    I agree, Dragonlady! Sometimes willful children need to learn the hard way (I know because I was one ).
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  6. #26
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by norealityhere View Post
    While I do think that Jacqueline has some definite issues, too, I do give her a lot of credit for being a single mom for a long time.
    Yes, she probably did have some support from her parents, but I do think she just tried to do the best for herself and her daughter. And, I do think the marriage to Chris was probably a way to cement she / daughter's future, as well. Ashlee shows that she has absolutely no respect for Jackie or Chris or anyone else. She even went on about how wrong it was for her Mom to have 2 kids with Chris!! Give me a break.
    No matter what Ashlee might have gone through - and it doesn't look all that bad from where I'm sitting - Jackie deserves a lot more credit and respect than Ashlee is giving her.
    Ashlee is the most narcissistic person I've ever seen on a reality show!!
    I'm sorry, but I just can't find anything at all to like about her.
    Ashley is very unlikeable. But the most narcissistic? Even more than Danielle? I don't know about that!

    Likeable or not, flawed or not, she needs to get on her feet and learn how to make a living. And she appears to have a clue as to how to pursue that goal. Like her or not, she deserves support in that. Her plan sounds practical to me, and not an improbable pipe dream.

    Her telling Jacqueline that having more children was her choice was off-the-wall, but her mother was loudly in her face about not babysitting, for pete's sake. Once again, Jacqueline was making it all about herself. She turned that meeting into an insult fest and, in return, got insulted herself. All the while ignoring Ashley's desire to go to beauty school - in essence, ignoring the whole purpose of the meeting. Anyone else seeing a pattern here? WTG, Jac. Next time you have an intervention, try leaving alcohol out of the equation.

    That meeting was a bash-Ashley-fest, and a shameful example of an "intervention." She may be a nightmare of a daughter, but I totally believe the same can be said of Jacqueline as a mother. That is especially true if you think that part of her motivation in marrying Chris was securing the future for herself and Ashley. If that's true, it is no wonder to me that Ashley doesn't respect her mother's input on these issues. In her eyes, Jacqueline herself was never financially independent.
    Last edited by Poppy Fields; 08-17-2011 at 10:05 AM.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  7. #27
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields View Post
    Ashley is very unlikeable. But the most narcissistic? Even more than Danielle? I don't know about that!

    Likeable or not, flawed or not, she needs to get on her feet and learn how to make a living. And she appears to have a clue as to how to pursue that goal. Like her or not, she deserves support in that. Her plan sounds practical to me, and not an improbable pipe dream.

    Her telling Jacqueline that having more children was her choice was off-the-wall, but her mother was loudly in her face about not babysitting, for pete's sake. Once again, Jacqueline was making it all about herself. She turned that meeting into an insult fest and, in return, got insulted herself. All the while ignoring Ashley's desire to go to beauty school - in essence, ignoring the whole purpose of the meeting. Anyone else seeing a pattern here? WTG, Jac. Next time you have an intervention, try leaving alcohol out of the equation.

    That meeting was a bash-Ashley-fest, and a shameful example of an "intervention." She may be a nightmare of a daughter, but I totally believe the same can be said of Jacqueline as a mother. That is especially true if you think that part of her motivation in marrying Chris was securing the future for herself and Ashley. If that's true, it is no wonder to me that Ashley doesn't respect her mother's input on these issues. In her eyes, Jacqueline herself was never financially independent.
    Ashley being a narcisscist - I agree with you Poppy - Ashley is a 20 year old girl. I have met plenty of them and it is all about them.

    On the babysitting - I have to disagree here. I may be mistaken - but as I understand it, Ashley lives under their roof without paying rent. If they want her to contribute to running the family, I think that is perfectly acceptable. To think you just get a free ride is not.

    As for the CA thing - I am torn. I think Ashley needs a rude awakening and I think this might be it. She will either sink or swim. I have my thoughts about which way she will go, but who knows. On the other hand, perhaps I didn't pay enough attention, but based on what I saw, I think the issue with her "plan" was that it wasn't really realistic. It was the plan of a child who wants an adventure and if it doesn't work out, Mommy and Daddy will just bail me out again. I mean, let's be realistic here - Ashley is 20. If she wants to go, she can go. What is holding her back? My honest opinion - she needs Chris' money to go - again, showing a real lack of maturity. If you need money and support to follow your dream, why do you choose to move across the country - which will require said parents to expend tons more than they would if, say, you went to beauty school in NJ. If she likes it and proves herself for a year, she can always transfer later. My guess is that Chris and Jaq (and the father and step mom - note that all 4 of them were against this plan, not just Jaq.) have seen this enough in the past to be understandably nervous about it. I understand wanting to support your children's dreams and aspirations, but I also understand that Ashley appears to change her mind pretty frequently - usually when her current plan is too hard.

  8. #28
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    My impression was that she needs tuition money from either or both sets of parents. Housing is something she feels she can cover. And she'll need to find a part time job at the minimum once she settles in.

    So, if she was my (obnoxious) kid, that meeting would have centered around that proposal - not on Ashley's failures as a live-in babysitter, her being total slob, or anything else. It would center on the future she was trying to envision.

    I would have begun taking notes - everyone's ideas and input on the practicality of it. I would have made a list, with her help, of the things to be done - an absolute necessity! That list of tasks would have the necessary timelines noted on them. Number one would be applying to school, contacting the financial aid and housing offices, getting school and medical records together, getting LORs if necessary.

    Number two would be about hammering out a working budget - how much has she saved? How much more can she earn and save before leaving? Who will be responsible for her medical/dental bills? How much would her daily needs cost (transportation, food, toiletries, etc.)

    Once all of these fell into line, getting to the coast would be on the table (drive or fly? sell or keep the car?). A visit to the school would also be in order.

    Sure, she could do this in NJ. But, that's not the point. Going away to school is something that can be very beneficial. Sort of like going to boot camp. Also, having a California beauty license is highly desirable for makeup artists. It's a credential that makes you more employable, giving you an edge in the industry.

    Ashley will either rise to the occasion or she will fail. But she'll have learned a lot. And if she fails, hopefully the only financial loss her parents will bear will be the tuition they paid. They can afford this. I would completely understand if this made them very nervous, but for the life of me I cannot understand why they rejected her goal out of hand, with no serious discussion whatsoever.

    One way to make SURE your kid gets caught in a failure cycle is to hold low expectations of her. I think the Lauritas are guilty or this. Or, perhaps, they are/have been just too indifferent or too preoccupied with other aspects of their lives to do the necessary parental legwork with Ashley's "launch." Most parents have to do this. They even need to initiate the conversation when the kid is too intimiated or too clueless to.

    I think they should try this again - without the Bloody Marys.
    Last edited by Poppy Fields; 08-17-2011 at 12:32 PM.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  9. #29
    FORT Fogey PA Snow Bunny's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    Poppy I tend to agree with you on this. I never thought my youngest son would be able to make it on his own when he decided to go to college in Philadelphia. We lived in a small town all of his life. I will admit I was totally against this move. I paid for his associate's degree but when he chose to go on for his B.A. & move out of the area, the cost of that part of his education was on him & him alone. He got student loans. They all need to get behind Ashley & support her emotionally but not financially on this. This is the only way she will ever grow-up.
    My son left a boy & came home a man. It is time to allow Ashley to mature.
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  10. #30
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
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    Re: 8/15 Show Discussion""Spoilers**

    I've raised narcissistic kids, so I do think I can say that Ashlee is the most narcissistic kid on any of the HW shows.
    Danielle's an adult - and I'm strictly speaking about kids here.

    I think Jacqueline is probably not perfect like most of us, but certainly does not deserve to be treated by Ashlee the way she has. Yes, she's certainly had a hand in enabling it, but what I saw on her face was total frustration based on years of attempting to deal with this awful kid.
    If Ashlee wants to prove herself worthy, she should move out and not ask her parents for any money. Then, I'd be willing to believe she's making an attempt.
    For her to still take $$ from them says to me that she's still not ready.
    They owe her nothing. It's up to her to prove to the world that she's a capable human being.
    To Thine Own Self Be True

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