RHONJ 8/7 Recap...Same Auld Lang Syne
Welcome back to another holiday-filled episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. This week, we are bringing in the New Year Jersey style and sadly, it really wasn’t very different from my New Year’s festivities. Well, I guess minus the make-up artists, the excessive cursing, and the hardcore family drama. Come to think of it, my New Year’s celebration was full of fun, partying and celebrating a new year. So, let’s pop open a bottle of bubbly and wade through this train wreck.
New Year’s Resolutions
This episode jumps right in with New Year’s resolutions for everyone. Caroline talks about it on her radio show. It’s not exciting. I’m glad she’s got this little radio gig going, but I really don’t feel like it adds anything to the show at this point. From the radio show talk, we go right into Melissa calling Teresa to invite her and the kids over for a play date. Melissa is trying, and Teresa is being rude. The sad part, she just doesn’t see it or get it. Melissa’s New Year’s resolution is to be the bigger person with Teresa. It’s a good plan, but good luck with that. Teresa then goes on to trash Melissa and Joe for leaving her house on Christmas Eve.
Tonight, for the first time watching this show, I’m shocked. Ashley has a positive purpose in life. She appears to be a good artist. Her grandfather comes in and talks with her while she is drawing and her stuff looks good. The problem, it will probably be wasted because this spoiled girl thinks everything should be handed to her and she shouldn’t have to work hard to become a good artist. Blah! Lauren, Caroline’s daughter, invites Ashley over to help her with a t-shirt design for her new store she is working on. Ashley does not produce what she wants and Lauren lays into her. Ashley claims that she’ll never work with customers; she’ll always be drawing and doing what she wants. Once again, proving how delusional Ashley is in life.
Over at Melissa’s house, it’s 3:45 pm and Antonia is asking when her cousins are going to be there to play with her. Melissa promises her that it will be any minute. An hour later at Teresa’s house, she is trying to get the kids dressed to go. The kids are acting crazy and not obeying. I have no idea what at 5pm at night the kids are all in pj’s and not getting ready to go. I know getting kids ready to go takes time, but really, over an hour and half late and no progress seems to be made. Finally, at 6:36 pm Teresa and the kids show up to Melissa’s. Nothing like being punctual. As soon as Teresa arrives, the kids are super excited to see each other and all take off into the house.
While the kids play, Teresa and Melissa sit down to talk. Teresa is driving me insane this episode. She really has no sense of accountability. Melissa appears to be really trying and Teresa just cannot let anything go, she just has to keep getting in little digs. Melissa brings up Kathy and that leads the conversation down a completely new mean level. Teresa just can’t get over Kathy insulting her at the fashion show over the whole christening thing. It’s so stupid. Get over it already. Oh, Teresa also doesn’t like Rich because he insults her all the time. This also means that he probably wants her. Delusion!
Make-Up Artists are Making a Killing in Jersey
The second half of the episode is centered on make-up artists…or the party at the Brownstone. At Caroline’s, Jacqueline, Lauren and Caroline are getting their make-up done. Ashley texts and wants to bring more friends to the party, but Caroline shuts that down quick. Over at Teresa’s house, another make-up artist is working on Teresa while the kids and Joe are eating pizza in the kitchen. The funniest thing happens that I’ve ever seen. Melania tells Joe to “give me some pizza you old troll.” OMG that is some good stuff. Over to Melissa’s, she is getting her make-up done as well and Kathy and her family come over to get theirs done as well. It’s quite the make-up event for the evening.
Finally, off to the Brownstone for the big party. Everyone is looking good, although Caroline’s hair and outfit is a bit interesting. I’m not getting the slicked back look. Caroline, Jacqueline, and Teresa slip off to the bathroom for a little chat. Teresa catches everyone up on all her cattiness and you can just see Caroline and Jacqueline rolling their eyes over her behavior.
Melissa, Joe, Rich and Kathy finally arrive and are greeted with hugs and kisses by everyone. Kathy brings Caroline a basket of all her baked goods. Caroline is very impressed and of course Teresa has to make some snide comment about how Kathy pursued cooking because of Teresa’s book. Over at the bar, Rick walks up to Teresa’s Joe and an odd cursing match ensues. We are told this has always been the case, but now it might be more personal. Also, Rich’s shirt is unbuttoned to about his navel. I can now understand why Teresa’s Joe doesn’t want to hug him.
Over at the bar, Ashley is trying to get served drinks while she is under age. Chris Manzo has to tell her no and she just doesn’t get it. Seriously girl, if you wanted to drink go out to a party with your friends not to your families place of business. After this, everyone is on the dance floor having a good time. Kathy’s 16-year-old daughter has an older man come up to dance with her. Rich loses it and chases the guy down and threatens him. Never a dull moment at a party in Jersey.
She’s Your Blood!
Meanwhile, all the women, minus Kathy, are chatting about everything. Teresa is still going on about being mad at her. Melissa tells her they need to make up. She invites Teresa and her family on vacation with Kathy and Melissa. Teresa hesitates and Melissa tells her that Caroline and Jacqueline’s families can come as well. Teresa says she is only going if they all go. This is going to be a good idea.
The party is winding down, the New Year arrives, and everyone is having a good time. Joe feels Teresa up at the party and I pour bleach directly into my eyes so I never have to see that again. Good lord, Bravo, please stop showing us Teresa and Joe touching each other or talking about sex. Some things we are all better without.
On next week’s episode, Ashley’s father comes into town, Ashley and Jacqueline get into a fight and Ashley get’s kicked out of Jacqueline’s house. The drama!