Punk Rock Buddah Boy
Tonights victim is Mike Caffino, a 39 year old, 5'6", 135# punk rock dweeb. His wife, Amy wants him to look more human. Mike is suffering from severe mid life crisis. This guy is scared to death about getting old!!! He is into Buddhism and vegetarianism to try and stave off old age and its made him a skeleton of a person and deficient in health. He eats two bowls of fruit a day and one bowl of chicken. If he got more dogmatic I would warn the family not to let him near gas cans and lighters when he hears about a war on tv. His skeletal body and greasy bedhead styled hair makes him look like Iggy Pop.He doesn't get his hair cut short cause he doesn't want to look 40, HELLO!!! You Are Almost 40!!! Last time I heard about someone that didn't want to act his age, it was Ted Kennedy trying to hit on a college sorority babe. His overly tall teeth are yellowing probably due to the diet he is on. Definitely not a real wild child. Their apartment is strewn with snotgobbler monster gadgets and cat scratched furniture. He had a meditation area, but ran out of space to throw a pillow down and put up a 8" statue. This place is such a mess that Amy helps knife the couch and tear out it's guts. Let's see how the Fab 5 do today, they have a challenge.
Steven Allan: Carson is first up, trying to make Mike more professional looking since he has a job as an editor for some music magazine. He fits him in vintage style woven shirts to cover the bony frame Mike has. He backslides and lets Mike wear rock tshirts over his button down clothing to give that "I don't want to grow up" feel to Mikes fashion.
C.I.T.E.: Thom takes Mike here to a store specializing in elementary style furniture. A simplistic look that fits his life's path.
Blue Heron Theater Jai drags Mike in for voice lessons since he wants to sing a song of love and praise to his wife but he can't carry a tune in a sieve. It's going to take more than one lesson!
Food Emporium Bridge Market: Ted meets Mike and intros him to a food dietician and college professor. This is to modify his diet to keep him healthy but also to put some meat back on his bones. Buddha died of dysentery from his bad diet that Mike is following and setting a bad example for his kid as he grows up.
Greenhouse Spa: Kyan has a challenge trying to do something with that mop of hair. He calls in the worlds first Feng Shui stylist who tries to tap into the Chi of Mike's hair. The spiritualism evades me here.
Back Home at the Temple
We head back to the homestead and have a look at what Thom has created. The place has changed, it looks sedate, calming and has a play area for the kid, organization and meditation have hit the place! Too bad the same can't be said for Mike. His hair still looks like it was hit by the cat in a flurry of fur and claws. The clothing still looks too big for his frame, but at least we find out he can cook. Ted has him cook a london broil and sweet taters to get some carbs, minerals, and vitamins in him. Amy should like the idea of having the chance to eat the same food as him now. His table side manners need work as he holds his fork like a shovel to get food in his mouth. Etiquette is not in his vocabulary. Off to the Karaoke club, where it is horribly noticeable that his singing skills still need lots of work, even the 5 agree on that part. The five had to have one guy that no help could really bring about change and I think Mike was it. His hair still sucks! His clothes style still screams someone trying to act younger than his age, but at least his diet should get better. Lets see how he is in 6 months to do a final stamp of approval.