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Thread: QEFTSG 6/15 show Punk Rock Buddah Boy

  1. #1
    Swinging in the hammock Ilikai's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    Taking a long vacation in the tropics

    QEFTSG 6/15 show Punk Rock Buddah Boy

    Punk Rock Buddah Boy

    Tonights victim is Mike Caffino, a 39 year old, 5'6", 135# punk rock dweeb. His wife, Amy wants him to look more human. Mike is suffering from severe mid life crisis. This guy is scared to death about getting old!!! He is into Buddhism and vegetarianism to try and stave off old age and its made him a skeleton of a person and deficient in health. He eats two bowls of fruit a day and one bowl of chicken. If he got more dogmatic I would warn the family not to let him near gas cans and lighters when he hears about a war on tv. His skeletal body and greasy bedhead styled hair makes him look like Iggy Pop.He doesn't get his hair cut short cause he doesn't want to look 40, HELLO!!! You Are Almost 40!!! Last time I heard about someone that didn't want to act his age, it was Ted Kennedy trying to hit on a college sorority babe. His overly tall teeth are yellowing probably due to the diet he is on. Definitely not a real wild child. Their apartment is strewn with snotgobbler monster gadgets and cat scratched furniture. He had a meditation area, but ran out of space to throw a pillow down and put up a 8" statue. This place is such a mess that Amy helps knife the couch and tear out it's guts. Let's see how the Fab 5 do today, they have a challenge.

    City Invasion

    Steven Allan: Carson is first up, trying to make Mike more professional looking since he has a job as an editor for some music magazine. He fits him in vintage style woven shirts to cover the bony frame Mike has. He backslides and lets Mike wear rock tshirts over his button down clothing to give that "I don't want to grow up" feel to Mikes fashion.

    C.I.T.E.: Thom takes Mike here to a store specializing in elementary style furniture. A simplistic look that fits his life's path.

    Blue Heron Theater Jai drags Mike in for voice lessons since he wants to sing a song of love and praise to his wife but he can't carry a tune in a sieve. It's going to take more than one lesson!

    Food Emporium Bridge Market: Ted meets Mike and intros him to a food dietician and college professor. This is to modify his diet to keep him healthy but also to put some meat back on his bones. Buddha died of dysentery from his bad diet that Mike is following and setting a bad example for his kid as he grows up.

    Greenhouse Spa: Kyan has a challenge trying to do something with that mop of hair. He calls in the worlds first Feng Shui stylist who tries to tap into the Chi of Mike's hair. The spiritualism evades me here.

    Back Home at the Temple

    We head back to the homestead and have a look at what Thom has created. The place has changed, it looks sedate, calming and has a play area for the kid, organization and meditation have hit the place! Too bad the same can't be said for Mike. His hair still looks like it was hit by the cat in a flurry of fur and claws. The clothing still looks too big for his frame, but at least we find out he can cook. Ted has him cook a london broil and sweet taters to get some carbs, minerals, and vitamins in him. Amy should like the idea of having the chance to eat the same food as him now. His table side manners need work as he holds his fork like a shovel to get food in his mouth. Etiquette is not in his vocabulary. Off to the Karaoke club, where it is horribly noticeable that his singing skills still need lots of work, even the 5 agree on that part. The five had to have one guy that no help could really bring about change and I think Mike was it. His hair still sucks! His clothes style still screams someone trying to act younger than his age, but at least his diet should get better. Lets see how he is in 6 months to do a final stamp of approval.
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Steve Parker

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  2. #2
    I don't think he personally looked that much better.

  3. #3
    clap clap clap sleepysluggo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    in oblivion
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilikai
    If he got more dogmatic I would warn the family not to let him near gas cans and lighters when he hears about a war on tv.

    I only got to see the second half of the show, but I think I get the jist of it.

    The karaoke part was painful!!! I was waiting for Randy Jackson to pop up and say "Yo man, I just wasn't feelin' it, and I don't know about the hair, dawg", but Carson came close enough.

    I didn't think the guy looked much better either. At least the kid was cute.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jakesmommy98
    I don't think he personally looked that much better.

    He did NOT turn into Prince Charming but a slight improvement....
    He's 39 trying to look 29?
    I wanted to throw a bone at him because he looked awfully frail and his eating habits, SCARY!!!!

    The (I call) Feng Shui Hairdresser he was CUUUUUTE!

    Mike had the ability to sing but carry a note? He still needs work in that department. And when he finally sang I really felt I was on the Gong Show.

    But the little speech he said I thought was nice. *TEAR*

    And QUESTION, when the Fab Five before parts ways w/ the STR8 Guy why do they bother having a drink of whatever they are having?..... If they can't finish why don't these guys take them (If Possible). They had Tazo Drinks and had just one sip and as usual 5 Open Drinks. What A Waste... :rolleyes

  5. #5
    FORT Fan
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    Jan 2003
    Please, no more Crest Whitestrips!

  6. #6
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Apr 2003
    Yay, Ili! Fantastic and hysterically funny job! I always love a good Iggy Pop reference.

  7. #7
    A great re-cap Ilikai...the guys were great and the victim so in need of help it was an interesting show...I agree in the end...the karioke wasn't great and the make over incomplete....still he had some serious problems and they didnt go away just because of the make over...

  8. #8
    FORT Fogey Jupiter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Lexington, Kentucky
    I found this guy just a little scary....the dirty hair..teeth...waif-like body...I cannot imagine why a grown man would find this look acceptable..unless he has some serious issues far bigger than the Fab 5 can tackle. However, they did their best at least for the wife and kid.
    I don't always act like a bitch; but when I do, I'm the lead float in the bitch parade.

  9. #9
    the episode was kinda scary----but amy told ted that "at one time"-mike used to be a "bigger" guy--so maybe (although no excuse) he was afraid of eating because he was afraid of gaining weight---something like that cannot be handled in one "make-better" but i think ted did a great job in having mike speak with a nutritionist!!!! after all, he ate meat and potatoes!!! it was a start-----hopefully he will grow into his clothes----and props to mike for singing not only in front of friends and family---but all of us-----have fun with life people---we only go around once!!!!! thom's design---amazing ---ted and thom

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