Swinging in the hammock
QEFTSG 6/8 show Brushing up the Baglady's Boy
David Goldman, a 30 year old Bantam Rooster of a guy that has serious insecurities to be dealt with by the Fab Five. His wife Jessica, fashion handbag designer extroidinare is also prominently featured in this show. She loves loud colors, but I didn't see one hawaiian print bag in the whole show Anyways the Five invade their modest little crackerbox palace and a nice place it is, though everything is a bit dated. The wallpaper is 60's vintage, the furniture is Goodwill or family hand-me-down. Dave makes his own shelving, artsy in its functional way but real amateur in its manufacture. His personal hygiene needs lots of help, he has severe halitosis, wears his gym clothes repeatedly... even if they are still wet from the last go round and washes them only once a month. Likes to sit on the John doing a rubiks cube but has only mastered two sides. He hasn't heard of Rubiks for Dummies I guess. Does a good monkey impression and the way that he lives, its not a far stretch!!! Carson has Jai help in the defenestration of tacky clothing, Kyan and Thom and Jessica play around with a feminine napkin thingy and find out if it has a string, it sticks to the ceiling to tell you its done like spaghetti does Just don't floss with that string!!! :nono So with that out of the way, off we go to....
Buff up the Boy
First of all, you got to like the guy. He does have some problems, but nothing a hand smack and a stern "behave!" can't take care of now. First off is...
Westelm Thom intros us to this eclectic furniture store that specializes in the arty-fartsy kind of stuff Dave builds at home, this is pounded together much better. It's amazing what a pro can do. They find the loud but conservative color scheme that will fit Jessica and Dave can dig. Told you she was going to be a major part of this show.
Mexx Consignment Shop Carson leads Dave to this store, sorta a hoity-toity Goodwill where fine clothes are at reasonable prices. Nothing to ostentatious for Dave but just enough to clean him up some.
Skinklinic Kyan takes him to get his neck zapped with a laser to permanently get rid of that thick backoftheneck hair that was going wild. They use a laser but his neck was tone deaf and didn't sound like a cd at all.
urbanglass Jai shows us a place that you can blow your own glass and make bracelets and cool stuff. Dave makes the beads for a bracelet for Jessica to give at the fashion show.
@SQC Ted drags him to a cookery to learn how to make old Jewish recipes with a contemporary flair. He makes some stuff I don't even know how to spell but looks good!!!
Back at the Ranch
First thing we see is ORANGE Walls,... oh, excuse me... its butterscotch. With Grapeple contrast for fun and flair. It looks Good!!! but then again, I haven't see Thom tank at a room makeover yet, and I don't think he has it in him to screw up. He didn't do the upstairs room, saving that for Dave and Jessica, but does show Dave how to drag a wall to create a faux finish. Does this mean the walls are wearing falsies? Just something to wonder. Kyan teaches that bad breath comes from bacteria and one way to combat it is a tongue scraper... Yuck!!!! Fashion show shows that he can clean up, but he walks too tight, needs to relax some and move with the groove. Put a dip in his hip and go on over to the mothership. Dinner menu by Ted is Salmon with blackberry sauce and that jewish dish I can't pronounce or spell. The Five leave, and he is off to the races. Does a job in the kitchen that would make Alton give a "Good Eats" blessing, and after scraping his face and tongue, he jumps into casual wear to greet Jessica, who proceeds to orgasm all over the house, you could say she is pleased with the look. Off she goes to the Fashion show to have a panic attack, Dave finishes sprucing and trots down to meet her. She is floored by his couture, and cries... Dave gives her the bracelet he made, she cries... I think she is just a tad stresses tonight. Her bags are a hit and Dave struts down the isle with his bride. Another job well done for the Five!!!!
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Steve Parker
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Great recap!! I applaud you! See? Applause!
I just want to say that this is a stellar episode[stellar!!] and I really want to go to one of those glass making places and dazzle myself with the make-your-own jewelry. And how funny were the guys tonight? I so want to give Jay a shot is the tuchus. Yum. Anyway, in a very large crunchy nutshell, I really liked this episode, and it was definitely a top 10 (mega 1, mega 0) for my list.
Oh, and a little side salad note, I'm a newbie. But a long time QE fan!
Look, it's a cat! See? Cat.
That is just gross. And I want to know who told the Fab Five that the guy had halitosis. Could you imagine your wife saying, "yeah, my husband has the nastiest breath." I guess he needed to be told, but on television?? Poor guy!
Originally Posted by Ilikai
Nice recap, Ili!
My fav part was when the wife told (I forget which one) that she doesn't play with the Rubik's cube because it's covered in fecal matter! Yuk.
clap clap clap
Line of the night, coming from Carson: Did they shave your matzoh balls?
I enjoyed watching the painting tips from Thom, and to have the bedroom left unfinished was really funny. (I'm starting to like Thom more with every show )
Kyan must've been assigned to keep Carson from touching the straight guys.
I was so relieved to see David go down the runway! He looked good too.
Great Show, kinda light but I didn't care.....
The only thing that got my uneased.....
Watching David shave the way he did....
I am SUPRISED he did not draw any blood
Seeing the wife sooooo happy with the new look for the house and seeing the NEW David un-shaved that was sweet!
Great re-cap Ilikai .....I have to ask...so what is wrong with Regular Kugel...you have to mess it up this way.....? but they seem to like it....and honestly fruit glazes on Salmon seem so much more an affront than making Kugel without noodles..Thom deserves high marks for some how working with a family that likes both orange and faux finishes....(ok so he wouldnt finish the room with the faux...but as we all know from trading spaces those things take timmmmmmmeee). I wouldnt live in it...but it was loved by the couple..
The much maligned jai...played a great role in this one..both building confidence and making a nice present for the mrs...and have gave it to her at just the right moment...As to fashion...he looked better with Carson's cauteur...except for the striped pants....and she could have used his advice on the puffy dress at the show...poor kyan was over worked...and that shaving scene hurt to watch....
Great re-cap Ilikai
i just got a chance to watch the episode over the weekend. you couldn't help but to feel good for the couple. go QE.
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