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Thread: QEFTSG 2/24: So you want to be a Lounge Lizard...

  1. #1
    Swinging in the hammock Ilikai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Taking a long vacation in the tropics

    QEFTSG 2/24: So you want to be a Lounge Lizard...

    Our victim for tonight is Kevin Downey Jr. 37 years old,6', 165#, Switchboard manager/stand up comic who wants to find himself in the cesspool he calls life. He also wants to propose to Matilda, his girlfriend of 6 1/2 years. Now pay careful attention boys and girls cause what follows is a dangerous trip through the pits of trash hell.

    Perusing the Pig : And we are off and running to meet Kevin. Upon entry to his domicile, one thing comes to mind. Dump is putting things nicely!! This place is so BAD that bums won't crash there, Rats don't infest the place, and it scares crack addicts straight if they get locked in the place. The toilet is on a raised slab cause the place is so low rent that ka-ka doesn't have room to go downhill... this is down at the bottom. The decor is a cross between Warehouse Slum Hell and Trailer Park Post Tornado. The walls are 20 different colors of peeling paint, wallpaper and tacky paneling with intermittent vinyl tiles glued to the wall. Kevin is OCD-given that he has 3 high priced vacuum cleaners that can't work cause his floors are wall to wall clothes carpet. Ceiling tiles are falling down, and dust covers everything thats stuck in place. Thom needs heavy explosives to get things moving in this dump.

    Lets do Brooklyn: Off we go with pigpen in tow. First stop with Thom is...

    Two Jakes a retro furniture store for that look that Kevin wants, and what is that you say..... its late 50's/early 60's Lounge Lizard!!!
    Cosmo another retro store for more stuffs that make the list of high priced tacky.

    Salon a styling place for a cut and shave. Kyan overseeing the process as only he can.

    Uva Ted and Kevin doing champagne for preparation of the betrothal

    Amacord Carson and Kevin invade this store that features the retro look of style and chic. Looking at the choices, Carson has him looking like an old Playboy reader ad in no time.

    Jai takes him to Caroline's Comedy Club to talk to one of his old buddies about getting his act to the next step of success and finds out he is scheduled to do his act that night.

    The reveal: Back at the ranch, Thom did a great job, I haven't seen lizard lounge Chic like this since I watched an old Dean Martin movie. The main "boom-boom" room is like a tiki hut reminiscent of Trader Vic's in Waikiki. The walls have bamboo trim over reed matting wallpaper. Palm trees and other Island accents do the place right. I got to talk to Thom about where he got all that stuff. The bedroom is more Bordello "boom-boom" if ya know what I mean *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* and we will leave it at that. This is a pg-13 site ya know!!! Carson does the modeling act and shows what dressing for the part will do for succeeding as a piano player working for tips in some seedy joint off the Vegas strip.

    Matilda comes for inspection and is stupified, as well she should be. She said it earlier, "his rooms look like they threw up on themselves". Off to do his act and meet up with his brother and friends, pops the question to Matilda, puts the engagement ring on the Wrong hand and proves that she still has training to do with him. While we wave bye to our intrepid hero and he and she saunter off into the sunset, or in this case city smog.... another thumbs up to the Fab Five and may their next one not need a bulldozer and incinerator.
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Steve Parker

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  2. #2
    great recap Iliaki...and ty for saying the room looked like Trader Vics...and he like Hugh Heffner....I knew the look was familar retro...just couldnt recall the celb....Hef it was....

    However, I am pretty sure...that the mess will reappear and the clutter return...and new polyester bowling shirts return....unless the new Mrs. Lounge Lizard....keeps our boy on a tight leash...

    the subheaders....Lets do Brooklyn and perusing the pig are so apt and perfect for this recap....


  3. #3
    Ilikai, you do such a fantastic job of recaps! Please don't stop doing them because "nobody does it better". Perusing the Pig--how funny you are! They're always worth a second reading.

  4. #4
    Of all the Straight Guy Houses, Apartments they have been at this one seen last night was thee ultimate worsts....
    Like the GF said on cam, it looks like something went in and it blew up!
    I couldnt get over that this guy Kevin is a OCD?

    The place Kevin lived at, it looked like it was a office or business establisment at one time?

    I hate to ask what his favorite movie is....

    But anyway poor ol Thom cause I was feelin him when he wanted to run and flee on what he had to work with...

    The guys executes another job well done!

    His comedy routine, did anyone find it funny? Or maybe Bravo just aired his material out of context?

    The marriage proposal was odd but the intent was sweeet!
    Even had me doin this -->

    Ummm before I end I could'nt help not to laugh when he fixed his hair from behind. He did it TWICE! Austin Powers flashed in my head when he did that!

  5. #5
    Do you remember that guy with the long hair (Tom?). His house actually had old food around and underneath the furniture. That was "terrible".

    Why can't I get into the like the rest of you?

  6. #6
    looks up Queer Eye webiste.....

    RESULTS:There were two Tom's

    sooo I am assuming you're referring to this

    The other Tom is the other one w/ the rude GF I wanted to slap who did not approve the teddy bear arrangement the boys did....

    Anyway, yeah I remember that Tom....
    I dug his excuse when explaining to Ted that he couldn't (I may be talking out of text here) that he could'nt wash anymore dishes because the dishwasher was full or something........PRICELESS!

  7. #7
    BorderEevil2, get you slapping hand ready because it is the second Tom with the girlfriend with the hooker boots!

  8. #8
    I see what you did there Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion Maveno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Santa Cruz, CA
    I saw the Fab 5 on Ellen the other day. They said that this WAS the worse place they've had to do...they even said it was so bad (including SMELL) that they had to wear masks.

    How sad and embarrassing imo. I would have cleaned up SOMETHING before they got there. Without a doubt, he'll start packratting again.
    There were some excellent quotables from this episode..but right now, I can't seem to remember them. I was laughing alot.
    Oh yea...when he was playing Whitney Houston at the airport... holy crap, I was literally dying!! Classic funny stuff!!!!
    It looked as if they didn't clean and/or redo the whole house. Did anyone else notice the floors still bad, kitchen walls (near the door) dirty, and the bathroom...I don't think they did anything at all in the bathroom. I think there was just TOO much to do, and also..not to mention...too gross.
    "Don't touch those washcloths over there..".. omg!!!!! G.R.O.S.S.!!!! :puke
    "Uhh...I wasn't going to touch those anyway.."..

    There's so much more to talk about this episode...but work is interrupting me! grr!
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
    life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

  9. #9
    Far From the Place I Love l2hdd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    West Coast
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilikai
    Off to do his act and meet up with his brother and friends, pops the question to Matilda, puts the engagement ring on the Wrong hand and proves that she still has training to do with him.
    I think Kevin put the ring on the hand he intended to put it on. In some European cultures, the ring goes on the right hand until marriage and then moves to the left.

    There is always a possibility the angle was reveresed too... you never know.

    Over all, not one of my favorite episodes except for the Fab 5. Kevin creeped me out!

    I felt so bad for Thom & Carson with their allergy attacks! I just wanted to crawl into the TV and hug Thom when he said, "I really wanna go home..."

  10. #10
    the guy remineded me of someone I use to know......hmmmmmm wonder who???????????. oh well. guarentee that the mess will be back he is OCD remember. unless Matilda sits on him. the mess will materialize. damn head cold, can't think of more than the job they did was by far above and beyound their need.

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