Yes basically as it has been said before, gay people calling other gays "fags" is like black people calling other blacks N!gg@. It's not as offensive if you're one of them. But if you were straight and called someone a fag...then that would be a WHOLE different story.
Being brought up in ESF (English Schools Foundation) schools has had me think of fag as a swear word (probably the description for that one is "gay" or "queer") and also a cigatette... I never call people fags (Sorry for the heart attack John j/k ) I often says fags instead of cigarettes... so much easier to say
just my 2 cents.
To me, you should be included in the group, or be friends with them to use such words
I sometimes call my friends b*tches, and they do the same to me, in good fun. But if someone I didn't know, came up to me and said that, I'd be offended.
Every once in awhile, I make fun of my friend 'cause she's Mexican (nothing against mexican's, I just like to pick on her). Don't worry, i asked her and she said she doesn't care...
Black people can call other black people the n word
Gays sometimes call other gays the F word..
Beings that I was raised as that was a bad word, and I'm not gay, that word won't be in my vocabulary.
Yeah its unless your in the group it ok to say it.....
Last edited by BorderEevil2; 02-08-2004 at 02:18 PM.
Nicely said, and very true.
Originally Posted by eldee
However, any word can be interpreted in any way. Communication is a two-way street, and just because one speaker means one thing doesn't mean the hearer will interpret it the same way.
In linguistics the field of pragmatics addresses this issue in depth -- who's speaking to whom, what the expectations of each speaker are, the assumptions people make when entering into communication with another person, face-saving, in-group/out-group communication, etc. All sorts of stuff I got bad grades on in grad school.
Well, dablaze, I think you make a lot of sense. Maybe you got bad grads in grad school but, you're doing well here.
QA and Moogs i totally agree with ya. Its ok being in that group and then saying it just for laughs. but if your different from the group and you say it, then thats offensive.
What do you think?
Hi...sorry to butt in...I'm brand new here...but I read this thread and thought I'd throw my two cents in, for whatever it's worth...
My "Mom Too" (my and my siblings' nickname for my mom's partner, who I literally love as much as my mom), uses the term "flaming fag" to affectionately refer to any of her gay friends who act in a stereotypical "gay" way. Obviously, she means nothing derogatory by it, since she, herself, is very proud of her orientation and the majority of her friends are also gay. In my conversations with her, I will use the same terminology, at her encouragement, but I would never, ever use it in an open, social setting, where the intent of my terminology might be misinterpreted.
What do ya'll think? If you are a family member of a gay person, but are not gay yourself, does that give you certain "liberties", for lack of a more appropriate word, that a person not in "that circle" would not have? Does that make sense, the way I asked it? I would never, in a million years, deliberately say something offensive to someone. Like I said, Mom Too has no problems with it....nor do any of her friends, who have become my friends too, over the years...but things may be different in other areas of the country...and among different groups of people. Input is appreciated.
For me, it's in the meaning/intension of the person using it. I still disagree in people of a certain group being able to use a word and not others. Also, belonging to a group (I shouldn't give my ex for myself re: nationality) does not give me more liberties than someone else.
If a word is going to change into something positive/acceptable, it should be used by all. If it's nasty, then leave it alone.
BTW, you haven't butted in. Everyone is welcomed at FORT!
Thank you, Eldee...
...for the warm welcome and the response.
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