QEFTSG 9/23: The tightwad, social misfit challenge
Our story opens with Alan Corey, a 25 year old, 6'3" 185# real estate speculator, or to put in general terms.... A Donald Trump wannabe!! He wants to take the relationship he has to the next level and also hold a small cocktail party to intro the parents to each other. The Fab 5 come knocking for the initial visit and we soon learn more about our subject, he is a stingy, tight wad, cheap ass miser. He doesn't pay for a date, it's either dutch or Katie(his squeeze for 2 years) pays for dinner. He makes Scrooge look like a spend thrift. He is tailored in a shirt and jeans that he paid a total of $3 dollars for and proud of it. His furniture style could best be described as Late Curbside Free Pile. The living quarters (and who can live like this?) is filled with cheap furniture, cheap booze and cheaper health care products like shampoo from the Dollar store. He lives in a sh*thole as Kyan puts it, and is proud of it, proud of the fact he is a tightwad. This guy will live like a pauper and die with bucks in the bank and nothing to show for it. His basic appearance isn't better, early Shaggy is the general concensus. He needs help in the worst way! By far the Guys biggest challenge.
Off to the city to spend his money and hear his wallet SCREAM!!!
H&M-trendy clothes at moderate prices. Carson tries to show him that the Shaggy look isn't good when you are trying to make an impression in the real estate world, to be a success, look like a success! After picking out some shirts, Carson has to beat it into Shaggy that you need more than one good shirt, there are 5 days in the business week. He balks at some of the color coordinating that Carson shows, stating that it looks like Aquaman and Swampthing, this from a guy that is barely in step with the human race. The last thing he needs to do is show his ignorance of fashion, or any other thing dealing with living in the real world. Ted figures out that he doesn't want to dress to attract attention to himself, probably cause then he would have to explain why he is dressed like a bum on 42nd street. Carson looks about done in by the end of the clothes hunt, On to furniture.
Inovation- a Furniture place. Thom takes him in to the store, showing him that you can get more than one piece of furniture without having to cruise the subdivision on trash day and these pieces don't come with stains and smells and hidden things growing under the cushions.
Satya- Jewelry for Katie to thank her for putting up with his crap. This is Jai's idea of a romantic present to show Katie thanks for being there and supporting him. This had to take some work since he gave her a pair of shoes for her birthday. Last I checked, practical was the last thing a lady wanted for a present. He obviously hasn't got a clue.
Gourmet lessions: Ted decides that a small cocktail party is good for some easy finger food panache stuffs. Knowing that he has to keep it simple cause Shaggy definetly has a mind like a sieve, he keeps it to one style of snacks and two drinks. The drinks aren't going well as he has to go over it three times and Shaggy still isn't 75% sure he has it.
The boys are done, and we get to watch Shaggy get ready for the shindig that night. He showers, shaves... after being shaved that day, uses moisturizer and wipes it off instead of rinsing it off. Can you see where the info has started leaking out already? He starts the canape's by pressing a cookie cutter in bread, this proves to be a workout for him as he ends up using a book to bang out the bread. This is bread he can't cut out!!!Bread!!! He wasn't the last one picked in the game as a kid, he was never picked at all!! He further shows all the grace and style of a pregnant gazelle crashing through the underbrush when he turns and knocks over the glasses that Ted had got him earlier that day. This sends him into the deepest funk I have ever seen someone do over a minor accident. From what he says about not buying good stuff cause you break it, he is a clutz and a putz. This could explain his tightwad ways to some extent, but not all of it. You can live practical, not grody. Time for Katie and the parents. Katie comes first, and Shaggy offers a Mint Julep for a drink. He leaks more knowledge as he blows mixing that, but she gracefully sips it slowly, real slowly. His parents come next, marvel at the change and get their drinks, Dad is smart and goes for wine. Mom gets a real stiff Gin and Tonic. Her parents arrive, and He makes them the strongest drinks this old barfly has ever seen! They sit and have that long uncomfortable silence. He does break it with a toast to Katie and we end this long painful look at Alan "Shaggy" Corey- social misfit!