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Thread: Montana Family Coalition = Morons

  1. #51
    Now you see me... elysive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pdxviewer
    Um, what? Do you mean that you just decided to be open and proud about it rather than hide it and try to get married or whatever? Or that you can be attracted to either sex and prefer women? Or are YOU the one the fundamentalists keep telling me about when they say "homosexuals" choose their "lifestyle?"

    (Just some terminology tips for the heteros: try avoiding the words "homosexual" and "lifestyle" and you'll sound convincingly like you have hip gay friends. Just replace "homosexual" with "gays," "lesbians" or "gay people," and replace "(gay/alternative) lifestyle" with "being gay." There really is no one gay lifestyle -- there's not even a definable or identifiable common gay community, though that term is perfectly ok. There are just a bunch of gay and straight people living all kinds of different lives with complete ranges of beliefs, interests, family structures, ethnicities, politics, etc. And the one commonality among gay people is not that they have sex with other guys/girls, or how they make love, or anything having to do with sexual activity, but that they're attracted to the same sex. And if you think you can pull it off, you can try using the word "queer." I know I wouldn't be offended, but some would. Either use it around good friends or around younger or hip gay people, and be sure you use it as and adjective, not a noun. "Queer community center," "queer nightclub," "queer TV show" = ok, "a queer," "some queers" = probably not ok. That's my Fab 1 Billion Hip Tip for the day!)
    Whoa, I think that both pdx and maven have very good points (btw pdx are you from oregon???). And even though I agree that the misconception that sexuality as choice is overall detrimental and sneakily subversive (hey, I'm one of those silly bi's that half the gay AND straight community secretly don't believe exist), I think it might be reading too much into such slips of keys. Whether we choose to toss around terms such as faghag or queer, I think in general we're all in good company and have good intentions (like few straight people would jump on another straight person for the same comment about their sexuality, just because de facto it's not seen as an attempt to oppress with words). Minority communities are constantly put on the defensive about stuff like this and it leads to in-fighting that's even more divisive and detrimental to social and political reform.

    In general, I think all we educated people should make an effort to avoid such slips as "choosing sexuality" AND to avoid using epithets for the purpose of demeaning or alienating (as opposed to embracing and reforming the term), but then give fellow queers a certain benefit of the doubt and avoid patronizing eachother. Wow, what a run on sentence!

    Just a few thoughts...and yes i'm probably an idiot

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  2. #52
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    Yep, PDX=Portland. But you can also figure out where I'm from the same way I figured out you're from Chicago....

    Also, I meant to be playful in my previous post with Maven's words, but it sounds sort of like a screed. Sorry.

    And of course there are bisexuals! People's sexuality falls all along one long continuum, with gay and straight only being polar ends.
    Last edited by pdxviewer; 09-30-2003 at 01:42 AM.

  3. #53
    Now you see me... elysive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pdxviewer
    Yep, PDX=Portland. But you can also figure out where I'm from the same way I figured out you're from Chicago....

    Also, I meant to be playful in my previous post with Maven's words, but it sounds sort of like a screed. Sorry.

    And of course there are bisexuals! People's sexuality falls all along one long continuum, with gay and straight only being polar ends.
    thanks for clarifying and making nicey even though you didn't need to I usually miss out on a lot of jokes for taking things too literally. ha!

    Actually I'm from Oregon too! Have you heard much about Pendleton? Well, if you have, then you can probably guess why I'm no longer there , although the midwest isn't much of a liberal haven either.

    It's really surprising how many people don't think of sexuality as a continuum, or at least they don't have much occasion to think of it. I've had a number of close gay friends, politically active and not, begrudgingly tell me that as much as they objectively and in a PC way believe in bisexuality, they have a hard time really understanding how it exists. whaa? Now, I have a hard time understanding that perspective. But oh well, it's probably not half the population, and I guess that's what I get for stereotyping! But I do find that bisexuals aren't always that well represented politically and are sometimes resented for the occasional "sleeping with the enemy," literally speaking.
    *shaking head*

    Nice to touch bases!
    -Erin

  4. #54
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Infuriating. No other words to describe it, really. Who the hell are these people to "wish" AIDS upon someone? That's Christian???

    I get so dejected when I read stuff like these. I'm currently stuck in a battle with Social Services in an attempt to gain custody of a 16 gay boy. His adoptive parents don't want him (although they let him visit on Sunday for church, no doubt to try and wash that gay right out of him) but no one will even let me get a foot in the door! ::kick kick:: Right now, it looks like I'll have to wait until he is 18 to make him a member of our family and it just frustrates me to tears.

    People suck. Well, mostly homophobic people.

    ::bangs head on keyboard for the first time today::
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  5. #55
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MajiH
    Infuriating. No other words to describe it, really. Who the hell are these people to "wish" AIDS upon someone? That's Christian???..."

    No, it isn't.

    ".....I get so dejected when I read stuff like these. I'm currently stuck in a battle with Social Services in an attempt to gain custody of a 16 gay boy. His adoptive parents don't want him (although they let him visit on Sunday for church, no doubt to try and wash that gay right out of him) but no one will even let me get a foot in the door! ::kick kick:: Right now, it looks like I'll have to wait until he is 18 to make him a member of our family and it just frustrates me to tears....::bangs head on keyboard for the first time today::
    MajiH, I feel so bad for that boy and your situation. I can't help you with any legal advise, but I wish you a lot of luck and eternal patience. Questions are swimming in my mind right now. Anyway, stay strong.

  6. #56
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Thanks, Eldee. It is frustrating, to say the least. Social Services and bound and determin ed to place him back with his family. However the parents don't want him and his sister won't take him. Currently they are thinking of putting him in an independent living program, which might allow him to become emmancipated (hope, hope) and at that point we'll snag him up. I've known this kid for almost a decade now, and he is the sweetest, nicest kid you could ever meet. My kids adore him, my husband and I adore him...it's just so damned frustrating. If you have any questions at all, feel free to PM me.
    ~*~ Maji *~

  7. #57
    Now you see me... elysive's Avatar
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    I've known people who have adopted kids in those types of circumstances. It is really hard and usually requires the severest neglect on the part of the parents.

    I think what you need is a combo of showing that the parents abuse/neglect the child because of his sexual orientation (that SHOULD be child abuse by definition) and then get the child to plea to social worker what HE wants and what will make HIM happy and how his dreams and opportunies to develop/function are being stifled by his parents' behavior (i.e. I want my mom to love me etc. etc., especially if he is consequently suffering from depression)

  8. #58
    FORT Newbie chase's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eldee
    MajiH, I feel so bad for that boy and your situation. I can't help you with any legal advise, but I wish you a lot of luck and eternal patience. Questions are swimming in my mind right now. Anyway, stay strong.
    Hello MajiH and thanks for sharing this with us. I can only imagine how frustrating this situation is to you, your family, and especially the boy. I do believe that whatever happens with Social Services you and your family are making a difference with him just by being there for him and letting him know that he is loved and valued just the way he is. It is so sad to see families turn their backs on children for ANY reason. I wish you all of the best.

  9. #59
    Caged Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion Maveno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pdxviewer
    Um, what? Do you mean that you just decided to be open and proud about it rather than hide it and try to get married or whatever? Or that you can be attracted to either sex and prefer women? Or are YOU the one the fundamentalists keep telling me about when they say "homosexuals" choose their "lifestyle?"



    Hmm...excuse me?! I don't recall signing up for the online frickin' pickapart police. You can pat yourself on your back as long as you want in regards to pointing out that I said "my decision"... but ya know, since you mention that stupid fact and take away from the f#cking whole point of the post, I might as well respond.


    Um, what?
    No way for me to answer that question...

    Do you mean that you just decided to be open and proud about it rather than hide it and try to get married or whatever?
    No. I was born gay. I had a CHOICE to be either GAY OR STRAIGHT though. In kindergarten, I didn't fully understand why I kept thinking about kissing the 6th grade girl with the koolaid mustache.... Nor in 3rd grade did I understand why I was thinking about kissing Brent...my guy friend. I MADE THE CHOICE TO KISS BRENT. doh!

    Back in the 70's, living in the country, getting educated in a very small school...and watching my oldest brother get beat up/teased and run out of our house because our parents DIDN'T ACCEPT that he was gay.... pretty much made me hide it for a long time. So, yes. I made the f#cking decision.
    Does that anger you? Yea, me too pdx.

    Or that you can be attracted to either sex and prefer women?
    I can be attracted to a fine looking guy...what's wrong with admiring a beautiful person? But yes, I prefer A woman.


    Or are YOU the one the fundamentalists keep telling me about when they say "homosexuals" choose their "lifestyle?"
    I could really give a shit less who/what or why or when or how anyone tells you anything. Should I pick this sentence apart and ask why the fundies are talking to YOU?!


    Oh, I call myself a lesbo too. Try that with your "close friends".

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Also, I meant to be playful in my previous post with Maven's words,"
    When people are playful with other's words, it's smart to say so in that post..as opposed to NOT and having whomever read it (especially the original poster) get incensed by such pompous/bombastic statements/questions.
    Perhaps I should post later on that I wasn't really upset and this post was all in jest?
    Last edited by Maveno; 09-30-2003 at 08:03 PM.
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
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  10. #60
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Ahhhh, it's getting scary in here!

    Anyhooooo, just wanted to thank every one for their kind words. Since I don't want to take this thread off topic, feel free to PM me with any questions, etc, you might have.

    Thanks again all! ::warm hugs::
    ~*~ Maji *~

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