After last week, this recapping business got a bit easier. Leanne’s doppelganger Jennifer (or was it the other way around?) got surrealistically booted off to that imaginary cocktail party with Holly Golightly and Slavador Dali. Meanwhile, the real Olympics opening ceremony took place and made those creations last week look like freakin’ masterpieces. Something new and NBC Universal cross-over-y awaits us tonight with the promised presence of Brooke Shields. Wait, is Suddenly Susan still on?
Was Edie Brickell to busy to show up?
Before the designers face their new challenge, Korto says since she has immunity, she’s just going to chill out and relax on this challenge. Meanwhile Daniel and Keith work out and Daniel professes he is going to really work to ensure he is not on the bottom in this challenge. I’m just impressed Daniel can lift weights; he looks like such a slip of a lad. Soon enough the gang is ready to head to Parsons, and with the shout of “Team Dramalicious” from Blayne, it’s off they go.
Before meeting up with Tim, the designers congregate around the runway and Heidi for the great walk-off tease. Of course Korto keeps Katarina so Alex is out and the models all stay with the same designers. They need to just skip this part if we’re not going to get some drama. Before they leave, Heidi teases further that the client for this challenge is a high-powered, glamorous woman. In the workroom, suggestions are bandied about: Nancy Grace, Sharon Osbourne, Heidi Klum, Joan Rivers…well, it gets even a bit crazier when Blayne hopes it isn’t Hillary Clinton. He is sure he would not win with a neon pantsuit. Now that’s something I’d like to see.
Tim enters the workroom and gathers ‘round the designers. He then brings in tonight’s client/special guest/judge, Brooke Shields. Tim introducers her as a model, author, actress, and fashion icon. Fashion icon…like 28 years ago when she was 14 and modeling for Calvin Kline. Now she’s just some fool who capitulated to Tom Cruise, in my estimation.
Anyway, it turns out she’s on the surviving “Sex and the City” wannabe “Lipstick Jungle” and, even more shockingly, it is actually renewed for another season. The designers are to create a look for her character, who is something of a “bohemian” (word of the night) executive with a rock star husband. Is this show on at night? It sounds more daytime drama to me. Tim has another surprise: this will be a team challenge! We knew this day would come and I’m surprised it took this long. He provides them with dossiers of Brooke’s character’s looks from the first season of the show. They will have 30 minutes to sketch then will pitch their ideas to Brooke who will pick six designs to be made. Kenley voices concern at being paired up for this challenge: not everyone there knows what they are doing.
So, the sketching begins and Jarell wisely notes that, after the last challenge, he must listen to the parameters of the challenge. The look not only has to be suitable for the office but must transition to an evening look as well. Keith works on something with sleeves that can change while Kelli equates “bohemian” with leopard prints. Daniel is sure his multi-ethnic background will give him an edge in designing the look. Why he makes that conclusion is a bit opaque.
The thirty minutes pass quickly and the pitching starts. No one practically vibrates around the room or nearly breaks into sobs like last season’s fashion icon challenge with Sarah Jessica Parker. I bet Brooke is pissed. Suede pitches a jacket with a pointed collar and Kelli then brings up the leopard prints. Brooke gets the “jungle” theme and is kind of intrigued. Kenley suggests a boat-necked dress while Terri has a look with pants. Blayne proposes a Bermuda shorts look, which also piques Brooke’s interest while Daniel suggests a look of various textures of fabric. Keith’s design has a skirt of mulit-layers of fringe; he also ass-kisses Brooke a bunch, which is just kind of creepy. Stella, true to form, sketched a design with a leather corset over a dress; Brooke reminds her that the look has to be office-friendly. Joe’s design involves something with a tuxedo shirt top to a dress and Leanne has sketched a comfortable dress with a jacket that Brooke wants for real life. Finally, Jarell dazzles Brooke with a khaki and camel-colored look and a little song about it.
After the pitches, Brooke tells the designers that she will wear the winning look on her show. She then picks Keith, Korto, Jarell, Kelli, Terri, and Blayne to make their designs. She allows that she’s a bit scared about Blayne’s Bermuda shorts outfit but wants to take a chance on something different.
Brooke leaves and out comes the velvet bag again. The teams break out as follows: Blayne picks Leanne; Keith picks Kenley; Terri picks Suede; Korto picks Joe; and Kelli picks Daniel. Thus, Jarell is stuck with Stella but he’s happy about it because his outfit has some leatha in it.
Off to Mood they go to spend 30 minutes and $150. Keith and Kenley shop for prints; Keith has some issues with Kenley’s critical opinions, but he only says so in the confessional interview. Daniel similarly has private issues with Kelli’s fabric choices of “cheap” black, leopard, and lace fabrics. He is sooo much more high-end than all of this, but he says nothing to her.
Clash of the designers.
The designers have until midnight to work on their looks and, by the time they get back to Parsons, there’s ten hours on the clock. Before leaving them to work on their outfits, Tim says that the prize of winning the challenge is so huge that the winner will not get immunity in the next challenge.
Stella and Jarell surprise me the most—they divvy up the work load and are quite content with each other. Stella heads off to make the skirt and will come back later to make the leather cummerbund. Keith’s design has a big flowy chiffon skirt to it and it is sooo not Kenley’s style and she is having issues. Meanwhile, Kelli has problems with Daniel as well. She’s sent him off to make the simple black skirt but she has issues delegating. She says she pretty much raised herself and is self-sufficient. She does throw in a mention of her grandmother, noting that her grandmother kept her on the straight and narrow and it’d be great for her to be able to see a Kelli design on television. Well, huh…now where would she see Kelli design stuff? Get your grandma some cable, Kelli!
Suede and Terri also have some difficulties. Suede is convinced Terri didn’t get enough of the print for the blouse and wants to make a pattern. Terri just thinks he needs to cut it out and sew the damn thing. He does then screws it up and it looks pretty weird. Terri comments that she is not Suede’s mother and he needs to grow up, but with some more colorful language that was bleeped. And just to throw us off the track on the sob-story for the night, or to impart some details to the armchair psychoanalysts that watch this show, Blayne shares that he grew up in a small town, his parents divorced and both remarried, and he stuck out like a sore thumb even in his crazy family. But then, Blayne would likely stick out at a weirdo convention.
With six hours remaining, Kenley is still grousing about Keith’s top and makes him fix it because it looks too South Beach. Stella bangs some grommets into leatha and Jarell is thrilled with the result so far. A week without Stella banging in grommets is like a day without diet Coke for me—it just isn’t right.
Tim comes in with the models for an early fitting. Korto and Joe are happy with the dress, especially the fullness of the jacket sleeves. Daniel made the skirt but Kelli sees that it is a hot mess: it’s only half-rouched, the zipper is wonky, and the hem isn’t even. Kelli makes him do a new skirt; he says it sucks that he has to, but it’s her design so he doesn’t care. Daniel has fast become Sir PoutsALot. Meanwhile, Terri freaks out over the blouse Suede made and tries to fix it. Terri knows it’s going to fall on her if the garment is not right. Kenley cautions Suede to get ready to defend himself on the runway.
After some more time passes, there are only two hours remaining on the day. Tim comes in to take a look. He thinks Blayne and Leanne’s shorts are too sporty and not evening in the least. He does like the halter top that will be under a vest. Tim loves Jarell and Stella’s outfit, especially the mix of colors and textures. He thinks they collaborated well. Tim is not sure at all of Kelli and Daniel’s outfit—the leopard, the jacket, the corset top all leave Tim a bit mystified. Tim then asks Suede how it is going with Terri and he confesses that they have a few issues because they work differently. It doesn’t really matter because Tim loves the blouse now that it’s been fixed. Tim, Terri, and Suede all share a hug of relief. Tim also likes the direction of Keith and Kenley’s creation; Tim points out that Kenley’s choice of print would have been awful and it’s a good thing Keith got the one they’re using. Cue Keith gloating. Finally, Tim visits with Korto and Joe; Tim is very concerned with the voluminous jacket over the slim camel-colored dress. Joe pretty much says that now that Tim mentions it, the jacket is a bit puffy. Tim goes further and says it looks like a sweet potato. Korto questions Joe, asking why he never said anything before. She, in confessional, says that she’d never let him get by a bus so he should have said something to her. Plus, she has immunity so if they go down, it’s his ass on the line. After Tim leaves, they kind of sort it out in the break room, but the night is over so it’s time to get some rest.
The day of the runway show dawns and Blayne is quite confident. Kelli is prepared to toss Daniel out of the way just to get the garments finished. Daniel does finish the skirt; Kenley comments that he’s always going on about having sophisticated taste but she’s never seen it. While Terri is happy with her blouse now, Jarell thinks it is hideous. Leanne thinks Korto and Joe’s dress looks terrible and isn’t fitted properly. Joe is a bit worried before the show since Korto has immunity.
The models come in and it’s the usual hour for hair, makeup, and final fittings. Kelli works to fit the bra-like top on her model while Jarell comments that her design is crappy. Kenley bags on Blayne’s inappropriate-for-work shorts and Kelli expresses relief that she at least has clothes on her model. With all the prep and cattiness towards others’ looks done, it is time for the runway show.
Bohemian rhapsody…or not.
Everyone is present and accounted for: Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, Heidi Klum, and Brooke Shields. Everyone also, including Michael, is wearing a lot of lip gloss. Brooke looks like she just rolled out of bed, but not in a good way. These following six designs shimmy down the runway:
Korto & Joe’s fitted beige, strapless dress with a partly bare lower back thing going on. The big orange jacket has been tailored down to be shorter, more fitted through the waist and the sleeves look a bit shorter. The sleeves are still kind of puffy but the sweet potato look is gone.
Kelli & Daniel’s “suit” made of a black pencil skirt trimmed out with lace at the hem, a fitted tank/bustier with leopard insets at the side and dark teal in the bra-like top, and a black jacket. If Brooke’s character works at Victoria’s Secret, it’s perfect.
Jarell & Stella’s golden brown tank, mustard yellow cummerbund with a thin zebra stripped belt through it, over a flirty print skirt in the same golden brown color family. It’s pretty cute, but the zebra belt looks odd to me. I think I got one of those for my high school graduation and never wore it.
Keith & Kenley’s brown layered skirt with high waist made of very thin fabric and a printed, floaty top with sleeves that can be tied up or let down. The long brown skirt is kind of cool but also kind of looks like a tree made out of crepe paper. I can’t decide if I like it.
Terri & Suede’s slim Black pants with an off-the-shoulder loose print blouse on top. There’s a belt at the waist, which only slightly mitigates the Lane Bryant look of the ensemble.
Blayne and Leanne’s tan Bermuda shorts with a button-down short-sleeved blue top over a tank top. Where’s the vest Blayne promised Tim? And why does this look like something I could by for a total of $29 at Old Navy?
After the show, Heid calls Jarell/Stella, Kelli/Daniel, Keith/Kenley, and Blayne/Leanne forward. Korto/Joe and Terri/Suede are safe and head off to get drunk and laugh at that Blayne. Because, frankly, who wouldn’t?
The models come out and it’s questioning time. Jarell nervously says that he tried to capture the eclectic nature of the character. Brooke says she loves the textures of the elements of the outfit but is a bit concerned about the belt situation. Heidi loves the belt; Michael thinks it is well-made, flirty and feminine. And most importantly, the judges think it looks expensive.
Kelli and Daniel face the music next and the music isn’t a happy dance. Brooke says the shape of the so-called suit is unfortunate and looks cheap. Michael just says “slutty, slutty, slutty” and Nina says that obviously you can’t teach taste. Kelli admits she should have edited the look and Michael says Daniel should have spoken up about the design. Heidi asks Kelli who should go if it came down to between the two of them. She says that since she won the first challenge and hasn’t been in the bottom, it should be Daniel. Daniel rebuts with his frequent assertion that he has very high-end taste, which just sends Kenley into fits of giggles…along with the rest of viewers.
Speaking of Kenley, she and Keith get rave reviews from Brooke for their outfit. Nina thinks it is almost a cocktail dress but it is nice and looks expensive. Michael compliments them on their teamwork. Finally, Blayne and Leanne hear that Brooke liked the look on paper but it turned out too casual and unsophisticated. Heidi says that it looks like the model dressed in the dark and Michael admonishes that if Blayne wanted to take a risk, he should make it extraordinary. If one of them had to go, Blayne would send himself home since he’s the leader of the group and Leanne concurs.
The judges make quick work of the deliberations. Michael thinks Jarell and Stella did a great job and created a perfect shape; it’s Heidi’s favorite look of the night. Brooke, however, favors Keith and Kenley’s outfit, saying it was inspired and classy. Nina likes it as well, and particularly likes that Keith thought about the challenge and kept the design appropriate for Brooke’s character.
Michael thinks that Kelli only puts out designs she wants to put out, irrespective of the challenge. Brooke was sure that the design would have been better and classier, based on the sketch but it just wasn’t executed right. What about leopard print is remotely classy, Brooke? Hmmm???? Nina questions both Kelli’s and Daniel’s taste levels, but Kelli’s more, since she was the leader. Heidi points out that Daniel hasn’t really brought anything to the table in this challenge or in the previous challenges. Nina thinks Blayne has a reluctance to listen to the challenges and is over-all bratty. Michael worries that Leanne has lost her confidence and point of view as a designer.
That was enough discussion for these critics, and it’s time to wrap up this mess. The four pairs arrive back on the runway and Brooke picks Keith as the winner. What? He’s made goofy layered things for several challenges and Jarell and Stella finally meet with a taste combo not heard of since peanut butter and chocolate, and they lose!?!? They should have left your ass on that island years ago, Brooke.
But, of course, Kenley, Jarell, and Stella are safe. Leanne is safe too, because, well, what did she do anyway? Daniel is in, either because the producers think he’s pretty or because of his high-end taste. You decide. So it comes down to Kelli and Blayne. According to Heidi, Kelli’s construction was questionable but her taste level was even more questionable. Blayne left them speechless and asking if he can design for a client and not for himself. In the second inexplicable decision, they boot Kelli and keep dumbassilious Blayne. The guy loves hoodies, for crissake! Talk about a taste level issue!
Stella and Jarell tear up a bit at Kelli’s departure but she stays positive. She’d rather go out being herself than something she is not. As she packs her things, Kelli laments a bit that the decision was not fair, and I agree.
Come back for big excitement next week: Chris March is present to introduce a challenge involving drag queens. Woo-hoo!