YAY! Another season of Project Runway! Two entire hours of designers, disasters, and Tim Gunn! WOOHOO!
I hope you can tell I'm excited. But this is just part one, as it's just HARD to recap two hours at once. I mean, I put 1200 lights on my Christmas tree today, I can only handle so much at a time.
Now, a couple of things you should know. I like to write my recaps as I watch the show. Meaning, I don't think about them much beforehand, I just write whatever spills out...the essence that is Suncat. Oh, nevermind, that sounds gross! Also, I don't read any one's views, opinions, or obsessions beforehand, as I like to go into a new season with an open-mind. What am I trying to say here? I guess I'm apologizing in advance for making no sense.
First, we're treated to a little snippet about Jay McCarroll, winner of Season 1. He's thrilled, he's happy, he has so many opportunities, etc etc etc. Oh, shut up Jay, you are sooooo last season!
Cruisin' for Couture, Day 1 NYC
There was a nation-wide search for designer candidates. They started it all off in NYC, with guest judge none other than last-season Jay. Don't get me wrong, I like him, AND wanted him to win, but I find him a teeny, weenie bit too sarcastic. I'll give a brief glimpse at the proceedings...
A woman brings in a child mannequin dressed in Scarlett O'hara's drapes, Jay tells a clown-haired woman she looks like a tap dancer, and then commands a drag-queen to dance. Then we get a candidate, one Diana Eng, age 22. She's a student at Rhode Island School of design, and she likes to do things with wearable computers. One of her designs has a wireless heart rate monitor, and when your heart rate goes up, there's a camera to take photos of whatever made you that excited. I can see myself wearing it into the steakhouse, and later seeing the hundreds of photos of rare t-bone that raised my heart rate. Yes, I know, I'm easily excited. Diana is thrilled with being a semi-finalist, and she just seems sweet as Christmas candy.
Day 2 NYC
Day two in NYC, and who is there to guest-judge but my very favorite from last season, Austin Scarlett! Austin is the absolute most feminine man I've ever seen, down to his hot-roller hairstyle, but enough about him, let's see our possibilities.
First up, a man wearing a dead fox on his shoulder. NO. The next guy says he made space suits for chickens. NO. Some hag that calls herself "quirky". NO! Then, a candidate, yay! Zulema Griffin, age 28, who happened to attend Parson's School of Design. Hmmm, does she by any chance know Tim Gunn, then? Did she have an unfair advantage? From what I saw of her clothes, they look nice, so we'll see what she brings.
On to Houston....with guest judge Wendy Pepper. Wendy is walking up and down the sidewalk, talking to the applicants. She stops and says "I had this aura around me, and that's what you need to bring into the door." No Wendy, that was a stench around you, a stench of being one of reality tv's biggest bitches since Omarosa. Call it an aura if it makes you feel better, but we all know better. What REALLY cracks me up is her saying "I'm Wendy...." and then "anybody see season one?" when no one responds to her. Hee.
Our quick glimpse here has Wendy grilling everyone that comes in, and then we get our semi-finalist...Chloe Dao, age 33. Chloe has three dresses that all look good, and she holds her own against nasty nosy camera-hogging Wendy. Go Chloe!
Next stop, Miami, with Robert from Season one as guest judge. Oh, Robert, the great unwashed. At least that's how I thought of him all last season. Ugh. He says that Playgirl wants to do a spread of him, and that there's a website about his ass. Now, I think maybe there's a website about him BEING an ass, as it's hard for me to fathom anyone lusting/drooling over this buffoon.
Our first applicant just came out of a coma. O-KAY. Strange, but good for her! Second, a stripper-looking girl head to toe in pink. Then, a woman who says she likes to incorporate weird items into clothing, and has put condoms into one of her pieces, and Robert naturally asks if he can takes some. Next up, our semi-finalist. Well, I dislike her off the bat. Heidi Standridge, 25. She's very very Southern, which is fine, but she comes off like an idiot, telling herself to focus and commenting how she comes off "like a spazz". The pieces she shows are ordinary at best. What I really, truly don't like about her is that she does that whole cutesy "I'm-so-nervous-and-can't-quit-talking-so-I'll-try-to-get-by-with-being-cute." Only, she's not that cute, and she's annoying. After being told she's a semi-finalist, she says "can I hug y'all?" Robert is thrilled, as he doesn't get nearly the female contact he tries to lead us to believe.
Final stop in Los Angeles, with Kara Saun, my absolute least favorite from last season. Bah! Snotty Kara Saun. I'll leave my comments about her at that.
Right off the bat we get a semi-finalist (or, at least, editing gives it to us.) Nick Verreos, age 38. He brings a model with him, and she is wearing a fantastic gown. Tim tells him that they all love him, and he says he has the shivers. He's an early favorite of mine, go Nick!
On the heels of that, we get another semi-finalist, Raymundo Baltazar, age 24. I like saying his name. RayMUNDO! BalTAZAR! *sorry* He makes a big deal of saying that his dad thinks this is all gay, but that he is gay. (as if THAT were in question....he's...well, he's an open-book.) Interestingly enough, he has put out a line called "Young Balls". I'm sure his dad LOVED that.
Looks like they're putting all the goodies near the end, as we have another semi-finalist. Santino Rice, 30. (and boy, does he look older than 30!) When he's talking to the judges, he's wearing a t-shirt with a tiger on it, and then they show a clip of him wearing a t-shirt with a lion on it. I have no idea of the significance of this, but being a cat and all, I had to point it out.
A quick look at some freaks
Okay, they show us a bit of what I'll just calls "freaks." And I mean that in a bad, bad way. Some guy with four sleeves, a girl that is making monkey sounds, and a bald guy wearing a sport coat and high heels, but no pants. Now HE'S a freak.
Speaking of freaks, in walks Daniel Franco, from season one, who was dubbed "Mr. Hollywood" and was the "find your bliss" guy. He found it all right, as he was the first one off of the show. The other thing I find freaky about him (other than his bliss) is that he looks just like the singer k.d. lang. (I didn't capitalize that, because, well, k.d doesn't.) All we saw out of Daniel last season was a butcher-paper garment, but NOW, now, finally, he pulls out some really gorgeous stuff. Like, the best I've seen in the 13 minutes since this show's been on tonight. He's a semi-finalist, again!
The rest...(let's get on with it, already!)
A week before the semi-finalists were to arrive in NYC, they were each sent 6 yards of fabric, $20 for supplies, and were told to create a garment that expresses who they are as a fashion designer. Heidi....WAIT, I haven't mentioned HEIDI yet! Heidi Klum, our lovely host, says that their chances of making it to season 2 depends on this challenge.
We have a brief spot on candidates we haven't seen yet. Guadalupe Vidal, 29, is very bouncy and says her haircut makes her look like Bruce Lee. She's dead-on, and whoever did that to her should be banned from scissors for life. Kirsten Ehrig, 37, is an attorney and likes to design swimsuits. Andrae Gonzalo, 32, had his own shop, but it just closed. I don't like him. I don't know why. Bad vibe. Daniel (Dan) Vosovic, 24, has very messy hair, and is way skinny. Kara Janx, 29, is from South Africa. Emmett McCarthy, 42, likes to wear a snazzy hat, and has been designing menswear. John Wade, 24, seems like this year's Jay, if that's being fair to him. (is it? You tell me) Marla Duran, 51, has a fashion boutique in Pennsylvania.
Heidi and Tim Gunn show up to greet the semi-finalists. Tim points out Daniel Franco from season one to everyone, but they've already bitched and moaned about that. He then says he's known Emmett since he was a high-school student applying to Parsons. Considering that Emmett is now 42, that is a looong acquaintance, isn't it? It might be my imagination, but it seems that Emmett is gazing at Tim with longing. Or lust. Or both.
They get let into the design studio, but SURPRISE! There's only 14 workspaces. Uh-oh. In two hours, two of them will be OUT. They've been randomly assigned models, and in that two-hour space they have to fit them, take them to the TRESemme hair salon, and to the L'Oreal makeup room.
The first snarky comment of the show
Besides mine, I mean. Zulema commented that John's design was too simple, that they had more fabric than that, and he should have made a jacket, hat or something. Will she last? Will she be snarky all season? She got the first jab in, that's all I know.
To the Runway!
Man, this is one long recap, or it seems long since it's the first one of the season, but at last, we're at the runway! YAYYY!! The judges are the same as last year, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia, along with Heidi.
The models come out, one by one, and naturally some designs I like more than others. I love Santino's dress, it's gorgeous. Heidi's looks like some bad home economics project. Diana's magnets in hers don't work. The models are all lovely, except maybe for Grace, but I think it's probably just that her hairstyle is too severe for her face. I'm sure you model fanatics have your opinions.
MY bottom two...Diana's, with the magnets that don't work, Heidi's plain home ec. looking thing.
Andddd....they're called forward. Santino, John, Heidi, Daniel F, and Diana. Then Heidi says "if I haven't called your name, congratulations! Your scores have earned you the right to compete in season 2, please leave the runway."
Oooh, MY bottom two are still on stage! Am I psychic? Will they BE the bottom two? Of the five remaining, they have the highest, and the lowest scores. As I pause the TIVO, I'm calling Santino for the highest. Let's watch! *unpauses* Their models come out....
Daniel Franco looks near tears as Michael Kors talks to him. All the judges comment on the bad cup fit of his dress. Heidi likes Santino's dress (so do I!) Michael says a babydoll dress can look juvenile, but this doesn't. Nina asks Heidi (designer Heidi, not judge Heidi) what her design is about, and Heidi says "I like things where you feel pretty." Way to represent the South, there, Heidi. (Insert Suncat rolling her eyes HERE.) She goes on to say things like the "funk" is that her stomach shows a little bit, and even refers to a "doily effect." Seriously, take one of those big hooks and yank this embarrassment of the South OFF of there. Michael wonders what would be left if she took all of the trim off of the dress. Nina, (who I don't care for, by the way) asks Diana what she's telling her with that design. Diana says (and I can't believe this..) "I like my designs to be well-researched." Really? Then of course, she has to explain her magnet problem, as some polarity has been reversed and such. I'm with Michael, who doesn't get why it does that. Heidi (judge Heidi!) asks John what HE was thinking, and he said "it was hot when I was making it, I had all of the windows open, and said 'I have to make a summer dress!' so I did."
They all love Santino's, call it beautiful. Diana's they call interesting, yet tricky. John's they say you can find on the back of a Rit dye bottle. (ouch!) They all agree on what Michael said about Heidi's dress, and declare it boring. Nina thinks that Daniel's already had the chance, and that somebody else deserves the chance.
The winner...and the losers....
The five designers come out for the results. Santino is the winner! WOOHOO, I called that one! *cat dances around* Seriously, his dress was beautiful. And didn't have magnets, which is a plus. Diana is in. Booooo, I missed that one. Okay, well, her dress was nice, but the magnets really threw me. Good for her! Then, coldly..."John, I'm sorry, you're out." BOOM just like that. Well, at least we won't have a psuedo-Jay this season, then. Heidi is told that her dress is unoriginal, and shows a lack of vision. Daniel is told that they appreciate his determination, but that sometimes you need more than that. Who is it? WHO is OUT??? Daniel's in, Heidi is out. Well, I called her. And thank goodness she's leaving. Then she says "I'm gonna hug ya because I'm from Alabama and that's what we do!" And hick Heidi hugs poor pregnant supermodel Heidi. Hick Heidi leaves us with "I just gotta have faith and keep on truckin'." Words evade me on that one.
Well, there you go, the first recap of Season 2. I promise part 2 will be better, with less doily effect, but it will be very, very pretty.
Can you help reverse my polarity? firstname.lastname@example.org