Generally speaking, reunion shows don’t necessitate a recap, but I had such fun with tonight’s Project Runway reunion show, I thought I’d share these twenty-five fun facts about Season Four of PR. So what if it’s a bit self-indulgent of me--I’ve had a crappy day at work and need to think about something more entertaining. I’m sure some of you can relate.
1. Little girls who are odd/alternative/from another planet send e-mails to Kit and Elisa sharing their designs and asking advice. The designers enjoy hearing from the kids but I worry the Men In Black are tracking Elisa’s e-mail stream.
2. Sweet P is more approachable than Brad Pitt, at least to other celebrities. But then, why would Jack Black or Catherine Keener want to talk to Brad Pitt? One would look more homely than usual by comparison and the other devirginized Steve Carell. Not like Brad could say the same about Angelina.
3. Victorya had a show at Bryant Park during Fashion Week. She couldn’t muster a smile about it; maybe she needs a visit with Catherine Keener or Brad Pitt.
4. Chris and Rami seem close and snuggly, especially after Heidi and Tim recapped their not-quite-a-finalist situation. They’d be a cute couple, if not a bit odd.
5. Jack was in the hospital for five days after his untimely departure. He healthy now but won’t commit to being on PR5. He was wise enough to say Tim Gunn is as nice as he seems on t.v. and Heidi is as pretty in person as everyone thinks. Jack is clearly aiming for a second shot, which he should totally have. <-- Yep, that was devoid of snark. Five lashes for me.
6. If Project Runway didn’t turn Kevin gay, nothing will, though Tim Gunn is seriously not sold on the straightness of His Majesty of The Freaky Beard.
7. Being on Project Runway is so difficult, it can be described as a “Hot Tranny Mess”. I’ve seen some Tranny Messes, and it was indeed difficult to look at. And I should probably stay away from certain parts of the French Quarter to avoid such visages.
8. Ricky did not expect to “cry like a woman” during Project Runway, or so he said when confronted by a montage of his crying jags. He cried more when all the women designers beat his ass in the parking lot after the show and took his ugly-ass hats away. You don’t want to see Mean P, damnit!
9. Carmen is very touchy; she didn’t like that Sweet P said that she was glad that Carmen went over her or that Kit said that her outfit was bad. Carmen then cried…like a Ricky.
10. Chris’ laugh is infectious, but can’t happen spontaneously. He needs Rami to tickle him to get him laughing sometimes. I’m tellin’ ya, they’d make a cute couple!
11. Michael Kors could not keep a straight face during the WWE Divas runway show. This relieves me greatly, as that was my least favorite challenge. It also seems like the models walked without any music. Kors, apparently, never broke his poker face during a show until this one, and his hysterics got everyone else laughing.
12. If they had to chose a WWE Diva name and move the six designers on the show (at that time) would be/have: Ferocia Coutura (Christian) who would shoot hairspray in the eyes of opponents and pull tight pony tails until the girls would bleed; Tuffie (Jillian) who would do a pirouette and a kick to the face; Wonder Woman (Chris) who would smother people with her large breasts; Ramilious (Rami) who would drape fabric from his arm to confuse and mislead people and then kick them in the back and pin them to the ground (and possibly start a girl group with Robin Antin); Spread Eagle (Sweet P) who would go all Jack Bauer and get people in a head lock with her thighs and break their neck; and Mexican Jumping Bean (Ricky) who would have a little twirl with a kick to bring down his opponent.
13. Tim Gunn’s WWE Diva name would be Poly Syllabic, which leaves everyone speechless, because they don’t understand polysyllabic words.
14. The designers thought Heidi was the toughest judge, and Nina got a bit defensive about being labeled Nina Garzilla, though that would make a nice WWE Diva name.
15. Michael Kors was a serious fashion victim when he was in his late teens and early twenties; his Gomez Addams-like wardrobe is a matter of convenience these days.
16. Carmen is still upset about her menswear challenge design, though Michael Kors said it was the hardest design challenge of the season.
17. Tim doesn’t tell the judges what went on in the workroom and is glad that he isn’t a judge because he couldn’t be objective, knowing what he knows from the workroom. Tom Colicchio should take note and appoint Ted Allen as the mentor.
18. The judges use a number system from one to five when judging the runway shows and they scribble notes, such as “hot tranny mess” to help them remember the designs as they appear.
19. Although pale beyond belief, Marion is not a zombie and says the $15 challenge that ended his tenure was the most difficult because he is more “avant guarde”.
20. Rami can’t escape an episode without saying the word “passion”; he notes that being on PR is not as easy as one may think and one should live what one does and have passion. Everyone drink if you’re playing the Rami-says-“passion” drinking game from last week.
21. Holy crap, Christian wins Fan Favorite by a landslide! Was this rigged or did everyone who thought Chris would win just didn’t bother to vote?!?! If nothing was an endorsement for Americans to head to the polls in November, this is.
22. Michael Knight, last year’s Fan Favorite, still seems to be sporting braces and is launching a fragrance. At least he stayed away from the use of any “sarfari” themes…or so I hope and elephants are not in the bouquet of his fragrance.
23. The word “fierce” loses all meaning after Christian says it approximately 300,000,000 times in a montage.
24. Sweet P, Carmen, and Marion think Rami will win; Steven thinks it’s anyone’s game; Elisa finds it hard to pick a winner; Kit is excited to see Jillian’s line; Victorya thinks Christian will win; Kevin sees it as a contest between Christian or Jillian; and Jack thinks Chris and Rami both have a chance at winning.
25. Any reunion/recap/etc. show on Bravo without Andy Cohen is aces in my book.