Guests of PH playing Monopoly

[Emma888]

Part three. And the game continues. . .

With tension mounting following Zack's seventh trip to jail without passing go or collecting $200, something happens that sends shockwaves through paradise.

"I'm bankrupt!" Zack, the most respected guy in television history, moans, "I'm out of the game."

Amy shoots a venomous glance at Keith before bursting into tears and clinging to Zack's “ultra-ripped” body. Zack hugs her and professes his “love” for her before exiting the Paradise Hotel game room.

Holly, a well-endowed brunette, enters, planting herself immediately on Scott's lap. The two of them quickly fade into the background together.

Next, Beau bankrupts, prompting him to call all the players dirty and cryptically hypothesize that "Maybe we're not playing Monopoly. Maybe Monopoly is playing us!" He then exits, with a peppy heel kick and one last reverberating bellow.

A Paradise Hotel waiter brings in a giant hot fudge sundae. Desiree pops out of it and joins the game. Despite her quirky dance moves and incessant sucking up, no one seems to notice she's in the game. In order to gain attention, she repeatedly runs up to Charla's room to gossip.

Toni is the next casualty of the game, leaving a sweaty trail behind her as she bitterly departs.

Tom arrives with his pal, Smokey, in hand. He amuses the gang by donning a gold dress, talking to Smokey, and acting wackier than Michael Jackson during a full moon, but then he suddenly turns shy and aloof.

They lied, they cheated, BOOM - Kristin and Alex are the next two out.

As the game progresses, Dave and Keith seem to have control of the board, owning everything from New York Avenue to Boardwalk with dozens of hotels between them. Their astute blend of strategic planning and karmic justice has served them well as they have accumulated various monopolies and massive piles of pastel-colored cash.

Just when things couldn't get any better for them, the game room door opens. . .

Proud and noble Scotsman, Zack, rides in on a horse, his jaw squared and his face painted blue. Amy can barely contain her excitement. She runs to him and latches on like a monkey.

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened in the history of mankind!” she beams joyously.

Behind Zack is Andon, covered in a peculiar array of new tattoos and piercings.

The line continues as Amanda enters. Before making a mad dash for the butterfly room to find Charla, she tackles Keith in an uninvited embrace.

Next, a dark haired, elderly woman enters. No one seems to know who she is. They barely look up from their game long enough to greet her as she saunters over to Scott.

Beau and Kristin follow with an odd, newly-formed bond and a vendetta against Mattel. Once again, Amy is overcome with glee, her eyes shining almost as brightly as her T-zone.

Toni’s next with ultra-feminine braids and delicate workout wear.

Matt and Kavita slide in unnoticed and make their way to the butterfly room.

Last is Alex.

Without warning, they all sit down at the table and are allotted thousands of dollars in cash and random properties and are permitted to rejoin the Monopoly game.

“Are you the king of Monopoly, Dave?” Andon taunts, smiling menacingly. He pulls something from behind his back, “Because I brought you this crown from the Burger King I work at!”

“You’re disgusting!” Toni shouts at Dave, waving her hands in his face. A lone bead of sweat flies from her bulky arms and hits Andon in the shoulder. His super-tough manly tattoo begins to run down his arm.

“It’s nice to have you back, Toni,” Dave replies wryly.

Alex – the boy who cheated at Casino night, got ditched for Beau, wore women’s underwear on national TV, made out with Toni, and got played by Tara – slides in beside Dave – the man who participated in one of the best upsets in reality TV history - and quips, “Your ears are big.”

Meanwhile, in the corner, the unfamiliar old lady is fawning over Scott.

“Don’t worry, Holly,” she says as she showers Scott with kisses, “Scott and I are just friends. If we get drunk, go into a dark bedroom, and lock the door behind us, don’t get jealous.”

“Okay!” Holly smiles and nods enthusiastically.

Back at the Monopoly table, insults are flying wildly. But the fun is just beginning. . .

[Google]

 

[oneTVslave]

Excellent work, Emma888! I look forward to the next installment. I hope you'll keep 'em coming until the end, where all the Originals and Desiree are in the pool when it is struck by lightning...

and to the FORT!

[Dogg]

bravo bravo!!!

[YCan'tAngieRead]

Originally Posted by yellowapple

Smokey has to be in there somewhere. You can't leave the monkey out. Maybe put him in jail with Zack so he can spank the monkey.

I still haven't tired of the monkey as penis genre jokes. Tee hee.

And seriously, I think if I hear the phrase "Game On" one more time from ANY of the guests, they're going to have to cart me off to a room with padded walls where I will drool and mumble to myself.

[Emma888]

Part Four. . .

When we left the game, the losers were back for a second chance at winning the all-important Monopoly game. . .

“Charla’s always in my ear!” Desiree whines in a desperate attempt for attention and acceptance, “Every time I voluntarily go to her room, sit down next to her, and gossip about the game, all I hear is her voice!”

“But this is NOT just a game!” Amy declares, “Monopoly is a matter of life and death. The whole universe revolves around what happens here. When Zack left, my world ended. Now that he’s back, I can be reborn!”

“That’s right,” Toni agrees, on the verge of tears, “Although I’ve only known them for a month, Kristin, Andon, Amy, Zack, Beau, Alex, and Scott are the best friends I’ve ever had in my entire life. I’ll never be this close to anyone ever again . . . at least not until I make it on Survivor.”

“Aww,” Amy swoons, jumping Toni for an impromptu bear hug.

“As for you two,” Toni’s disposition immediately becomes vicious as she lays her pulsating eyes upon Keith and Dave, “I hope I never see you again.”

“We’re such good people,” Amy sighs, throwing her arms around Zack.

Once again, Keith and Dave exchange incredulous glances, but say nothing.

Back in the butterfly room, Charla, Tara, Kavita, Matt, and Amanda are discussing their lives.

“After graduating at the top of my class from Yale, I moved to California to get my masters degree in quantum physics,” Tara reveals, “But then I was discovered by a talent agent, so I put all of my dreams on hold to be on this show. It’s been fun, but I just can’t wait to get back to the exciting and dynamic world of physics!”

“Your story is so similar to mine!” Charla says as she brushes her hair, “After acquiring a degree in political science at the age of eighteen, I decided to try my luck in the entertainment industry before running for governor of Minnesota.”

“Wow!” Kavita smiles in amazement, “You guys are totally inspiring!”

“I’m so glad I put the moves on you,” Matt tells Charla as he gazes into her eyes, “Our time together in paradise was amazing.”

With that, Matt leaves the room and finds an empty lounge chair by the pool. Out of nowhere, the “Summer Nights” music from the film ‘Grease’ begins to play and Matt begins to sing. . .

“Paradise lovin’ had me a blast. . .”

Inside her room, Charla begins to sing, “Paradise lovin’ happened so fast.”
Matt: “I met a girl, crazy for me.”
Charla: “I met a boy, cute as can be!”
Both: “Paradise days, driftin’ away, to oh-oh those paradise nights!”

Suddenly, Beau, Alex, Andon, Scott, Zack, Tom, Keith, Dave, and Toni gather around Matt and sing, “Tell me more, tell me more. Did you get in her pants?”
In Charla’s room, Amanda, Tara, and Kavita sing, suddenly wearing pink jackets, “Tell me more, tell me more. Like, would he give us a chance?”

The song continues, featuring strangely choreographed dance moves that all hotel guests seem to already know and perform in unison.

Matt: “We had lunch on the promenade!”
Charla: “He got me drunk with spiked lemonade!”
Matt: “We made out after Pandora’s box!”
Charla: “I stayed up past ten o’clock!”
Both: “Paradise fling don’t mean a thing, but oh-oh those paradise nights!”

Amanda, Tara, & Kavita: “Tell me more, tell me more. Is he a Texas hick?”
Beau, Alex, Andon, Scott, Zack, Tom, Keith, Dave, & Toni: “Tell me more, tell me more. Does she really kiss chicks?”

(music slows down)
Charla: “Toni picked Beau, that’s where it ends.”
Matt: “So I told her, we’d still be friends.”
Charla: “Then we made our one night stand vow.”
Matt: “Wonder who she’s doing now?”
Both: “Paradise dreams ripped at the seams, but oh . . . those paradise nights. . .”
All guests: “Tell me more, tell me more. . .”

The song ends and everyone returns to the Monopoly game where Amy is bragging about her lifetime accomplishments.

“I got employee of the month three times at Chuck E. Cheese!” she beams, “I was a human pizza! Then, when I was nineteen, I got my GED through one of those train at home mail correspondence programs. One day I hope to go to New Zealand and find the Loch Ness monster!”

“Wow! You’ve had an amazing life, Amy!” says Zack.

“Whose turn is it?” Toni asks.

“It’s my turn,” Keith speaks up calmly.

“Nobody asked you!” Amy shouts.

“Toni just asked whose turn it was,” Keith replies, becoming increasingly exasperated.

“No she didn’t!” Amy scoffs, “I didn’t hear her.”

“She’s sitting right next to you!” Keith exclaims, pointing at Toni.

“Don’t ever point your finger at me,” Toni growls as she shakes her finger in Keith’s face.

“You’re pointing your finger at me!” Keith protests in disbelief.

“Dude,” Zack chimes in with his mouth full of food, “You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m way more ripped than you are.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Keith challenges.

"You don't deserve to be here!" Amy jabs bitterly.

"Can we please just continue the game?" Dave gently requests.

"Man, don't even start with me, Dave," Zack rants, food dribbling from his mouth, "You're jealous of me, too, 'cause I've got a insecure, hypocritical, immature, tomboy who loves me and you don't."

"Wow, Zack, you're so romantic!" Amy swoons.

“Guys, let’s just play Monopoly,” Beau interrupts at full volume, “I’m back and my job is to team up with the people that kicked me out and get Dave and Keith out of the game.”

By now, Keith and Dave's stronghold has weakened with Beau invading their side of the board. Will they maintain control? Will they win the game? Will good conquer evil?

[50guys]

Originally Posted by Emma888

Part three. And the game continues. . .

Proud and noble Scotsman, Zack, rides in on a horse, his jaw squared and his face painted blue....

[scamperbear]

OMG, every cast member from PH needs to read that! That captures each of them perfectly. WTG.

[sagemama]

Originally Posted by Emma888

Part Four. . .


“Paradise lovin’ had me a blast. . .”

Inside her room, Charla begins to sing, “Paradise lovin’ happened so fast.”
Matt: “I met a girl, crazy for me.”
Charla: “I met a boy, cute as can be!”
Both: “Paradise days, driftin’ away, to oh-oh those paradise nights!”

Suddenly, Beau, Alex, Andon, Scott, Zack, Tom, Keith, Dave, and Toni gather around Matt and sing, “Tell me more, tell me more. Did you get in her pants?”
In Charla’s room, Amanda, Tara, and Kavita sing, suddenly wearing pink jackets, “Tell me more, tell me more. Like, would he give us a chance?”

The song continues, featuring strangely choreographed dance moves that all hotel guests seem to already know and perform in unison.

Matt: “We had lunch on the promenade!”
Charla: “He got me drunk with spiked lemonade!”
Matt: “We made out after Pandora’s box!”
Charla: “I stayed up past ten o’clock!”
Both: “Paradise fling don’t mean a thing, but oh-oh those paradise nights!”

Amanda, Tara, & Kavita: “Tell me more, tell me more. Is he a Texas hick?”
Beau, Alex, Andon, Scott, Zack, Tom, Keith, Dave, & Toni: “Tell me more, tell me more. Does she really kiss chicks?”

(music slows down)
Charla: “Toni picked Beau, that’s where it ends.”
Matt: “So I told her, we’d still be friends.”
Charla: “Then we made our one night stand vow.”
Matt: “Wonder who she’s doing now?”
Both: “Paradise dreams ripped at the seams, but oh . . . those paradise nights. . .”
All guests: “Tell me more, tell me more. . .”

The song ends and everyone returns to the Monopoly game where Amy is bragging about her lifetime accomplishments.

um, thanks a bunch. i just woke the baby up. laughing so loudly!
one eensy bone to pick. mel is old? i must be ancient.
this site is really making me feel old. i never thought i'd see the day.

[Emma888]

Originally Posted by sagemama

one eensy bone to pick. mel is old? i must be ancient.
this site is really making me feel old. i never thought i'd see the day.

Mel is definitely NOT old. I'm just dramatically exaggerating peoples' characterizations of her for the sake of comedy! You know you're not old!

[fluff]

“Excuse me?” Toni fumes, eyes bulging like fake breasts in a tube top, “ExCUSE me?”

Love it