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Thread: PH 9/08 Recap - "Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives"

  1. #21
    JR. is offline
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    Amanda, you have now accomplished the filthy grand slam, you are the true queen of Paradizzle. I bow to your greatness.

    You're going to take a lot of cleaning, give me a call

  2. #22
    PerfectttttttttttttttttAmanda! !

    I missed monday night, but reading your recap was better than watching the show.
    Thank you

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaG
    ” Take a minute to compose yourselves, because it gets better. No, really, it does. “You gotta keep moving forward. I’ll take the amazing things I got out of this, and just move on. I wouldn’t be a male with Scottish blood and Italian blood if I didn’t take full pride in myself. All you have to do is watch “Braveheart” to see how proud the Scottish people are.” I’m sorry, did he just say “Braveheart”? Rewind. Look at my drink to see if my fiancé somehow added a hallucinogen when I wasn’t looking. Rewind again. Oh sweet Jesus. He did. He really did. Zack, this is Paradise freaking Hotel. You aren’t fighting the English for control of your country. You aren’t a crusader against tyranny. You’re a sorry little man wearing a headband. Go do some karaoke of “Let’s Get Physical” and shut the hell up.
    Wow, I'm TOTALLY impressed. You are definitely one of the top 10 recappers here on FORT!! I can't wait until your next recap!

  4. #24
    When you mentioned the Mr. Potatoe Head thing, I justed busted out laughing....
    Former VP Quayle, is that you?

    I haven't yet read the recap-I'm savouring it like the last piece of chocolate you have before lent. It's about the only positive thing about this show.

  5. #25
    braille! I love it. You rock!
    I am really concerned however for the Barbies, I think their time may be up soon ( major twist please)! and the idea of bringing back those idiot losers one more time especially for a jury will infuriate me enough to ban this show.
    I love Keith too! i really didn't think much of hime when he first showed up but, every week he makes me love him more. especially when you put him up next to such childish freaks. I really hope all the bitter losers see this site.

  6. #26


    AmandaG, you are an excellent writer. I thoroughly enjoyed your recap, and will be seeking them out in the future, even if I don't watch the show. Kudos.

  7. #27
    Sweet Recap! You provided some classic lines...reading your recap and the other messages on this board help make suffering through this show (watching Amy, Zach et al.) worthwhile.

  8. #28


    Your blurb was so funny. I can't believe you picked up on so many things! I saw that Toni girl on Blind Date a few weeks ago even Roger Logde was making fun of her "SHEMness". She's really annoying and I'm glad I don't have to look at her ugly eyes anymore. As for Zack, why hasn't anyone brought up all the girls he was making out with during the early days? Zack is so retarded (sorry Dave) and if he has any sense he should be embarrassed when he see's himself doing The Monkey on TV. You go Keith! Oh, the Zack headband comment was classic too... who said '82 was out of style? I hate this show so much that I have to watch it - hopefully next week will be something good. Keep up your hysterical comments.

  9. #29

    Wooo Hooooooooo!!!!

    DEAR LORD.......

    My poor sinus passages are now throbbing due to the snort laughing I just did while reading this recap!

    I am huddled around my little glowing monitor whilst my cranky 7-month-old sleeps behind me, giving it my best effort to not wake him up! (And it's DAAANG hard, causa' YOU girl!) That was supreme...just great, kid!

    OK, Ok, here's my faves:

    "I’m sure they’re heartbroken, if for no reason other than they might want to ask him where he got that rockin’ headband."

    "Hey, there’s a redeeming quality. I didn’t know he could read braille."

    "You’re a sorry little man wearing a headband. Go do some karaoke of “Let’s Get Physical” and shut the hell up. Mel Gibson ought to hop a plane to Paradise right now and kick your ass, just on principle."

    "People marry serial killers in prison, Zack. Logic isn’t your strong suit. Stick to headbands."

    Awesome. Simply Awesome. You speak from my heart, my friend!

    Puleeeeeze do another! Your dry humor is the BEST BEST BEST!

  10. #30
    I just registered on this forum for the sole purpose of informing the original poster that this was the funniest thing I have read in WEEKS!

    I am still having trouble containing myself when I re-read the paragraph about zack. My cat is staring at me curiously due to my convulsions.

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