How did this happen? I thought after the first episode of PH, I had left the recapper pool for-EVER, and would not be returning. I don't think this latest twist is very amusing.
To add insult to injury, I also have to go after Bill, which is kind of like batting 5th after the powerful cleanup hitter in a baseball lineup. (and I don't even like baseball that much)
First things first
We are forced to endure a recap of events from the last episode of PH. The cliffnotes version:
- Amy's friends are all gone
- Keith flirts with both Charla and Tara
- Desiree, the hot fudge sundae beat out Lauren the flat-tummied clogger for the spot on PH
- Desiree chose Tom and his monkey to be her roommate for the week
- The new twist will involve royalty
* insert cheesy disco version of Eddie Money's 80's hit here *
Everyone loves Charla
Okay, maybe not everyone. But Keith sure is having fun flirting with her while Dave is off thinking of ways that he can finally win her over. Poor Dave. Someone needs to plan an intervention....and soon.
A monarchy in the making
Everyone is intrigued about the new King and Queen of paradise. I'm mostly intrigued how you can have a monarchy if people are voting, but the guests don't seem to question that. Scott, being the "professor" of the castaways, proclaims that the 2 will have some sort of power. We are reminded that PH has warned the guests to choose wisely. I think that's asking an awful lot from this crew.
Holly and Dave discuss who they think would make a good King and Queen. I have no idea how the nominees were picked....I'm assuming that the guests did the choosing, but I don't recall seeing that process in action. Next everyone is gathered to learn of the 2 nominees. Alex and Dave will be running for King. Tara and Amy for Queen.
Charla shares the fact that she has never voted before. (wow, if only we can get some people in Florida to commit to that...)
The "campaign" begins
Swimsuit competition, lame posters, and a debate with 2 really lame questions...
If this is what we could end up with with campaign finance reform, I'm changing my mind on the issue.
The swimsuit competition
Alex is first up at the swimsuit competition and comes out sporting what appears to be a shaving cream bikini. Um, yeah I'm impressed. Amy appears looking like a cross between a statue of liberty Halloween costume, a bad Madonna video, and Marilyn Manson on crack. Tara is up next in some normal black suit/coverup deal. By the look on Tom's face (as well as the drool on the floor) I think we can determine who he is voting for. And last, but not least, we have Dave modeling a suit...a business suit that is. But now we get to see him strip down to his boxers and everyone is satisfied (except for us poor viewers).
The debacle...er, I mean debate
How would you handle voting off a player? (I guess they assume this will happen as we have not yet learned this is a responsibility of the King/Queen)
Alex says he'll represent the whole group and wants to bring the originals and the newbies together. (and I still have that Enron stock if anyone is interested)
Dave says he will take everyone's opinion into consideration and try to best represent the group.
Keith asks Alex about the cheating incident to which Alex answers that everyone still wanted his dirty money even after they knew he had done it.
Kristin asks Dave how he could possibly handle being King given his childish behavior (woah...you'd better hope he doesn't have any voting off power). Dave answers that her use of the world childish on his is ironic.
In the final plea to the voting pool, Alex holds up a "fun chart" and claims that by voting him King, he will return the hotel to "scary" fun.
Dave says he wishes he could believe Alex, but he just wants to see relationships between people be built whether they are new or old.
Alex wastes a question asking Tara why she acted like she didn't want Beau to go last week, but had given her casino money to Dave. Tara replies that she had given her money to Dave the night of the casino event and had no idea who Dave was sending home.
Keith mumbles something about grudges to Amy. Amy tells us that her attitude has nothing to do with a grudge, but rather revenge. (glad you cleared that up, Amy)
In their final statements, Tara says she's not fake (except for the socks stuffed in her bra). Amy states that unless she is Queen, they will all go insane like she did a week ago.
And the winners are...
In Survivor tribal council fashion, we are shown several of the guests and their votes. For some reason, it appears that Alex has voted for Tara. Even more peculiar, it looked like Tara voted for Amy.
At the PH disco, Amanda announces the victors. Queen Tara and King Dave will reign over Paradise for the next couple of days.
Along with the title, they receive some special privileges. They will both be safe from elimination, and they will also jointly choose the next person to evict.
The guests party away, and a couple of the women suck up to Dave.
Kristin, Alex and Amy wallow in their misery saying the originals are dropping like flies. Alex claims Charla is the most boring person ever, Keith is as dumb as a peanut, Holly does whatever Scott tells her to do, Scott does whatever Dave tells him to do, Dave is a 7-year old, and Tara is doable. I'm sure Kristin is thrilled to hear that.
They also express their displeasure that neither Dave nor Tara has asked them who they think should be evicted. Keith tells Dave he should talk to people and Dave gives Alex a courtesy chat where Alex basically says nothing.
Immediately prior to the elimination ceremony, Amy makes an appearance to tell Dave and Tara that she wants to leave....now. They don't promise her anything on the spot, but Amy leaves gleefully thinking that she is the one going home tonight. Dave and Tara both agree that this sucks.
The most dramatic elimination EVER
In a surprising twist, Amanda announces that Dave and Tara will not only pick the evictee for the week, but they will also pair the guests together as roommates for the following week. The King and Queen depart for a 15 minute break to make their decisions.
Tom and Desiree will room together another week.
Keith and Holly will now be a pair.
Alex is matched up with Charla (the most boring person ever, according to him)
Kristin and Amy are requested to stand on either side of Scott as the decision is revealed. And Kristin is told to go home!
Amy throws her usual temper tantrum, screaming at everyone that she wants to leave and this is stupid. For a few minutes most of us are hopeful that Amy will be leaving the show as well, but unfortunately a few of the guests persuade her to stay as Kristin takes the walk of shame.
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Stay tuned for our next episode where a mystery recapper will share the details of Monday's show:
~ Charla's worst nightmare of rooming with Alex
~ The making of "Alex gone wild" now that his ball and chain are gone
~ PH gets no new guests, and we'll finally start to see an end to this show!