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Thread: 7/30/03 Recap - "Beware of skanks bearing gifts"

  1. #21
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    okay...

    This show is frickin hillarious!

    Does anyone know what show Toni was on before? I swear this girl is a reality show groupie.

  2. #22
    FORT Regular moody's Avatar
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    i believe that was "Love Cruise". there were many a bug-eye shots of her on that show as well.

  3. #23
    Play ball!! melpepinla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squeegieb
    I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe at some points reading this!

    How do you become a recrapper? (BTW, that's not a typo - I love PH, but it is pure crap!)
    HAHA! I was gonna write "recrap" but didn't want to offend all the fine writers here at FORT. I love calling this show a "crapfest".

    Oh, and Toni was on Love Cruise and also appeared on Blind Date. She is a "reality tv ho"
    I think Johnny Damon has the SWEETEST mullet in major league baseball!

  4. #24
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaG
    Sadly, my desire was NOT fulfilled, and Keith just tells her to stop acting like a two-year-old. Amy takes this advice to heart, and bumps it up a notch to acting like a twelve year old, getting in Keith’s face & bellowing “I WILL see you gone.”

    Let’s meet our potential skanks, shall we?

    Dave, hoping to make the inroads with Whitney that he wasn’t able to make with Holly, asks Whitney about her profession. Specifically, “Do you have any special therapy that you can recommend for me?” I’m hoping that Whitney will pull out the card of a good plastic surgeon, but instead she sidesteps the question

    This is big news? Nobody said anything awful here, but the guys are acting as if they’re double agents who’ve just been uncovered by the CIA.

    Tara agrees, and they do a little dance to celebrate their merger. Much in the same way the CEO’s of AOL and Time-Warner did, I’m sure.


    It was as funny reading your recap as it was when I watched it!

    Quote Originally Posted by firegirl
    I would rather have a job wiping a babbons ass than to spend my "happy" time there with Toni and Amy.
    :monkeybut

  5. #25
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MajiH
    I started to quote you from your recap when I soon realized I was quoting almost the whole damned thing! Well done!


    Amanda, you are a droll genius, and I worship at your altar of comic abilities!!!
    You've alchemized the pile of poop that is Paradise Hotel into pure comic gold!

    Bravissima, AmandaG!
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
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  6. #26
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    Congratulations, Amanda. That was a truly entertaining, witty and intelligent recap! More than can be said about this show. What I especially enjoyed, in addition to your inspired headings, were:

    Keith quite reasonably explains that he wants to win. Amy asks him “Are you God?” At this point, I have every appendage on my body crossed, hoping that Keith says “Why yes, yes I am.” I was in the mood for some smiting. Sadly, my desire was NOT fulfilled,...
    I felt the same way!

    My description would run along the lines of “Amanda is a surly 29 year old from Chicago who doesn’t get along with anybody, and will probably end up telling off the entire cast.” So much for world peace.
    Oh, can I relate to both parts of that!

    Alex obviously didn’t understand the question, because he answers that he doesn’t like Charla, because she’s boring.
    Nice to see you picked up on that, too.

    Tara that promises the bearer a back rub guaranteed to put them “on ecstasy”. I assume that she meant “in ecstasy”, but hey – if she’s going to force them to take raver drugs, more power to her.


    Whether or not Toni coerced her victory out of the judges under threat of headlock, the world will never know.
    withthat

    Sorry to wish it on you, but I join the ranks of those wishing you to continue. Great job.

    Bellenote

  7. #27
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl


    Amanda, you are a droll genius, and I worship at your altar of comic abilities!!!
    You've alchemized the pile of poop that is Paradise Hotel into pure comic gold!

    Bravissima, AmandaG!
    Agreed...Amanda I don't know why you're a (chemist??? scientist??) you should write, my little friend. Or maybe you could be a writing chemist...or a chemist writer...or...err..do you spin plates too?

    Ahhh...the show that is the armpit of hell...it's tough for me to sit through an episode...and now I don't need to with these great share-the-pain recaps.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  8. #28
    Bee
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    FORT Newbie Bee's Avatar
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    I love your Recap.. I missed the episode and all the pain of watching so I appreciate your review.. And the color commentary was PERFECT!!! Thanks.

    Bee

  9. #29
    Mmmmmm, cheese tracylee's Avatar
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    Great recap! Brought it all back like a bad flashback from college!

    It looked to me like Toni and Amy had swapped brains for awhile there, with Amy's head spinning and Toni sitting back and watching. It was just wierd!
    One by one, the penguins are stealing my sanity

    CurvesForum

  10. #30
    FORT Fan ohiomobprincess's Avatar
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    Bravo!! Loved the recap. You've nailed everyone in the cast so well.

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