Don't check into 'Hotel'
BY SONIA MANSFIELD
Of The Examiner Staff http://www.examiner.com/ex_files/def...y=X0626REMOTEw
I don't think that there is a worse show on network TV than "Paradise Hotel."
And yes, I'm aware that "Baby Bob" is currently on the air.
Fox's latest reality series has set the bar so low that it's underground. This show is freakin' terrible. I mean it makes "Temptation Island" look like a damn PBS documentary. "Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska" was better than this.
In case you didn't catch it (it airs Mondays at 8 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 p.m.), let me break it down for you: A group of hot and single men and women party down and pair up in a posh tropical resort. The rules are either you hook up or you get the hook, making room for a new guest, which is chosen from a live studio audience.
That's right, folks. The premise is whore yourself out on national TV or beat it. I'd rather take my chances at the Bates Motel than at "Paradise Hotel."
I'm not sure what the prize at the end of this crapsterpiece is, but I'm sure it involves getting a square all to yourself on "Hollywood Squares" during "Reality Show Has-Been Week." "Yeah, I'll take that annoying bitch from 'Survivor: Outback' to block."
"Paradise Hotel" is a reality show in which people have fake relationships and emote phony feelings and we're supposed to watch it why? The show doesn't even seem real. I won't be surprised later to hear it isn't.
Of course, this is all par for the course for one of the female contestants, who was actually a guest on another one of Fox's reality shows "Love Cruise."
Even if you never saw "Love Cruise" (you lucky bastard) you'd probably remember Toni from the ads, in which she bugged out her eyes, yelled and got in someone's face. It was the part of the ad that really convinced me that the show would actually suck intelligence from me if I watched it.
Yeah, so, the hotel is filled with reality show contestants who feature all the traits you hate about reality show contestants. They're conceited, excessively dramatic, stupid, shallow, need I go on? Not one person on the show is even remotely likable, or behaves like an actual human being.
Within just a few hours, all the contestants were overly attached to each other and saying things like, "She betrayed me" and crap like that. On the first night, one of the women sleeps with a man she knows doesn't like her in an attempt to get him to like her. I don't call that entertainment. I call that college.
So anyway, after 10 minutes of watching it, I almost deleted "Paradise Hotel" from my TiVo. I was afraid that it would give my other recorded shows a STD. But, for you dear readers, I watched the entire hour, because hey, I watch the crap so you don't have to, right?