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Thread: Arranged

  1. #1
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Arranged

    This show has me fascinated. It's certainly an interesting glimpse into a world I know very little about. I know it can work quite well for some people, and that arranged marriages have a good (better than average?) chance of staying married.

    I feel bad for Maria though. Her husband seems to be a big jerk, and it appears even his parents see it. I think she is staying for cultural reasons, and a sense of duty. I like that his parents are not excusing him, and recognize that he isn't treating her well.

    I would think that Ragini and Veril (sps?) would both have discussed their situations a bit more. Didn't they live in the same apartment for awhile before getting married? Maybe they did and then once they got married it felt differently to them? I do think they have grown to love each other, despite the friction, and felt that love before the wedding.

    I'm still not sure how Josh and Megan were arranged, but I haven't minded watching them. I almost married a guy whose mom was just like her mother-in-law. Wow, dodged a bullet there! I think Josh shows signs of having his mom's personality too. The look he gave Megan when she said she'd been eating chips in bed - that was not a happy look. I liked when she told him she did it because she wanted to. And in what world is it ok to show up uninvited to someones house and expect them to prepare the food you brought, much less it turning into an overnight stay? I thought that was so rude. That is not a happy surprise. I was hoping that was just a set-up for the show. The MIL is always going on about being a good southern woman, but that seems the height of rudeness. It makes me appreciate my MIL even more. We've had our differences for sure. One thing she never did was show up at my house and act like that. I'm hoping that once Josh sees the show and how his mother spoke to Megan that he will understand a little bit more, but it didn't appear that he wanted to stand up to his mom for Megan's sake.

    I can't wait to see the couples meeting. The meeting between the men looks to be interesting.
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    FORT Fogey Imperfect1's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    I'm fascinated with this show too, and have been watching it with great interest. One thing that just hit me (as I'm writing this) is that the one trait that ALL of the couples and their families have in common (with the possible exception of Ragini), is that they are so worried about what EVERYBODY ELSE WILL THINK!!! OMG, when will people ever outgrow that?????? I think there would be sooooo many fewer problems if the couples just did what made themselves happy, first --- and then, consider (but not 'cow-tow' to) the feelings of their immediate families. As far as their friends, neighbors, members of their communities, members of their nationalities/religions, etc. and all of the "Jones'" in the world --- we have to stop caring so much what everybody else thinks about how we live OUR lives?????

    I think that they couple that has the best chance of a tolerable long term marriage is Josh and Megan, and that's only for 2 reasons: first, I think they really do love each other, and second, Megan seems to have been raised and programmed to be a "good Southern wife." So, for the most part, I think she'll do what she has to do to make the marriage work.

    Ragini and Veral seem to work "on paper" --- but Ragini is waaaaaay too much of a strong minded, high-strung, modern, independent career woman to live happily and easily with Veral, who seems to be much more traditional, old- fashioned, and easy going. They may actually stay together, but I don't think they'll ever have an easy time of it.

    Christian and Maria just break my heart because Maria is a sweetheart and Christian is a nightmare -- and a bully. Even when Christian gets older and matures, he'll still be an awful husband because he's just not a nice person. He's not considerate, kind, loving, gracious, affectionate --- or anything positive at all. He's selfish, superficial, arrogant, demanding, bossy, short tempered, etc. etc. etc. Ughhhhh! I hope that Maria has the guts to get out of the marriage, because she really deserves someone who appreciates and loves her.
    Last edited by Imperfect1; 06-06-2015 at 03:19 PM.
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  3. #3
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Your description of Christian is spot-on. I think Maria would be better off without him, but I don't think she'll leave. She is too ingrained in the culture. I wonder if her family would take her back. (maybe they would if they've been watching the show?) He isn't a nice person at all.

    I cracked up when he was telling the camera men to put the cameras down and his mom told him they wouldn't. Then they put them down but with him still in view and on camera

    I think Ragini wants to be a good wife in theory, but doesn't want to be a traditional wife. I think if that was her goal, she went about choosing a spouse the wrong way. I do think she's trying, but I agree they won't have an easy time. I think they love each other but their personalities are quite different. Sometimes that can work, and sometimes it's a much bigger struggle.
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    Bloomin' FoRT Fanatic! ness's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Count me in on being fascinated. I stumbled up on it and have been hooked ever since.

    CHRISTIAN AND MARIA:

    I KNOW it's their culture, but an 18 year-old and 17 year-old have NO business getting married. ESPECIALLY when the 18-year-old husband is a nasty, self-centered, selfish bully, as Christian appears to be. I LIKE Maria. She may be soft-spoken, but Baby Girl has a backbone. And I like seeing that. I like seeing her call him out and stand her ground when he's been, or is being, an @ass#0!e to her. And yep, I LOVED it when Nina (his mom) jacked him up about trying to get away with speaking to her like he routinely chooses to speak to Maria, and when his own brother, Peter, let him have it and told him to his FACE that he bullied Maria.

    Frankly, regardless of what the Romany community would say, I wish (instead of just going out for soda and a few other things, then coming back) Maria would pack her things, go, and just keep on going. Nina and Michael are doing the best they can in that Nina is making herself available to Maria as a sounding board and ally, and not thinking Christian is a saint just because that's her child. And Michael, as well, in that he has NO problem letting Christian know he's dead wrong in how he treats Maria, and he needs to straighten his act up.

    I wouldn't've lasted a week in that household. Kudos to Maria.

    JOSH AND MEGHAN:

    I am so GLAD this Little Southern Princess FINALLY got a backbone and a mouth and told her Wicked Witch of the South MIL (Linda) to butt OUT of her life and let her go along and make her choices and mistakes as she's going to make them. DIDN'T think she'd EVER have that in her, but she proved me wrong, and I was SO happy to see that!

    Linda and Gramma had me absolutely spitting FIRE when they showed up at Josh and Meghan's unannounced. Then, Josh gets home. HE doesn't say anything to them about how rude their actions were. And if I'd've been Meghan, I probably would've let the unannounced visit ride. Up to the point where they were just pulling out of my driveway to leave, that is. BEFORE they left, I would've nicely, respectfully told 'em I didn't mind hosting them, but I DID mind NOT knowing that they were coming BEFOREHAND and them just showing up on my doorstep. Which I would've NEVER done to either of them, as I would consider that to do so on my part would be RUDE.

    And I would've told 'em to please, not do that to me anymore.

    I DON'T think they'd've ever pulled that stunt again.

    And I think going to Indiana (?) will be good for Josh and Meghan. They'll be able to build their own identity and partnership before they have to come back to SC. And Josh will learn to grow into Meghan, and AWAY from Linda.

    VEERAL AND RAGINI:

    I think Veeral's mind is in the 19th century, and he married a 21st century woman.

    I understand Ragini's New Woman take on things. I also understand that she knows her culture, knows its customs, and probably should've cut her losses and headed for the hills after they'd been dating awhile. She strikes me as being the same type of woman who's with a man that has faults that are deal breakers. BUT, she goes ahead, anyway, and says "I DO!", thinking in the back of her mind: "That's OK. I'll change him once we get married!"

    And ONE thing, in particular, I lay fault for directly at HER feet:

    If she's got such issues about having children, if nurturing and growing her career is SO important to her, why in the HELL would she stand up with him in a wedding ceremony (that wasn't) and say in front of God, the officiant, and hundreds of guests that she promised to have one to nine children?

    THEN have the bald-faced nerve to get defensive when he starts in on her about it and she starts backing up.

    I DON'T blame her for wanting to wait for a bit so they can enjoy each other. But the way it came across to me, HER bit might be FIVE OR TEN YEARS out, or NEVER.

    She should've made that CLEAR to him before the question was popped and the ring was on the finger,

    OTOH, Veeral riding her about them moving in with his parents for a year doesn't sit well with me, either. I believe she had a valid point when she said, one year will turn into ten. And no, being a modern Indian woman, I absolutely would NOT want to be shacked up with a traditional Indian couple under MY roof. That just HAPPENED TO be my MIL and FIL.

    Oh, HELL, NO.

    And for Veeral to spring that on her, at dinner, with his parents SITTING THERE, was JUST as wrong as her backing up now on whether or not she wanted to, right now, or was GOING to, even HAVE children.

    He was just as bad with that as she was in waffling about when or IF she was going to be having children.

    I'd be very surprised if they made it.
    "In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, broccoli, zits, ozone depletion, racism, sexism, stupid guys and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?" - Unknown

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Wow ness, you remember the names. I never can do that very well.

    I also found it strange that Ragini vowed to have one to nine kids and then is surprised when Veeral asks about it. I did not find Veeral all that endearing when he started asking Ragini about miving in with his parents. He already knew she wasn't keen on the idea and knew his parents were on his side. I'd have been so ticked if it were me that happened to.

    As much as I think Christian is a complete tool, making up the entire toolbox all by himself, I have to give credit to his parents. They don't see him with rose-colored glasses, and both stick up for Maria.
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  6. #6
    Bloomin' FoRT Fanatic! ness's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Quote Originally Posted by justCoz View Post
    Wow ness, you remember the names. I never can do that very well.

    I also found it strange that Ragini vowed to have one to nine kids and then is surprised when Veeral asks about it. I did not find Veeral all that endearing when he started asking Ragini about miving in with his parents. He already knew she wasn't keen on the idea and knew his parents were on his side. I'd have been so ticked if it were me that happened to.

    As much as I think Christian is a complete tool, making up the entire toolbox all by himself, I have to give credit to his parents. They don't see him with rose-colored glasses, and both stick up for Maria.
    I get where Ragini's head is at about living with her in-laws. But in my mind, two wrongs DON'T make a right. She should've kept her mouth SHUT at the altar about promising to have one to nine children.

    Better yet, she should've gotten VERY clear with Veeral BEFORE a proposal was made and a ring offered and accepted, about what was on her mind about the children factor.

    And, she's not on a walker, but she's not a spring chicken, either.

    No, I DON'T understand the Romany culture. But yes, I DO like Nina and Michael.

    I feel sorry for Peter, though, 'cause Nina's sniffing around to get HIM hooked up!!!!

    LOLOL!!!!!
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    "In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, broccoli, zits, ozone depletion, racism, sexism, stupid guys and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?" - Unknown

  7. #7
    FORT Fan mika06's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    The show is definetey facinating. I agree Christian needs a lot of work and Maria will basically have to wait for him to mature for them to every get better. I love his parents though. I just keep feeling so bad for Peter as well he is like please don't get me married. Let's hope they wait till he is 18 as well.

    I just don't understand the conversations that Veeral and Ragini had during their year living together or what did they put on their dating site for the arrangement. It's like on Married at First site but they have know each other for years. Unless it's like Monet and Vaughn that they both thought they wanted something else. I just don't get it.

  8. #8
    FORT Fogey Imperfect1's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Quote Originally Posted by ness View Post
    Count me in on being fascinated. I stumbled up on it and have been hooked ever since.

    CHRISTIAN AND MARIA:

    I KNOW it's their culture, but an 18 year-old and 17 year-old have NO business getting married. ESPECIALLY when the 18-year-old husband is a nasty, self-centered, selfish bully, as Christian appears to be. I LIKE Maria. She may be soft-spoken, but Baby Girl has a backbone. And I like seeing that. I like seeing her call him out and stand her ground when he's been, or is being, an @ass#0!e to her. And yep, I LOVED it when Nina (his mom) jacked him up about trying to get away with speaking to her like he routinely chooses to speak to Maria, and when his own brother, Peter, let him have it and told him to his FACE that he bullied Maria.

    Frankly, regardless of what the Romany community would say, I wish (instead of just going out for soda and a few other things, then coming back) Maria would pack her things, go, and just keep on going. Nina and Michael are doing the best they can in that Nina is making herself available to Maria as a sounding board and ally, and not thinking Christian is a saint just because that's her child. And Michael, as well, in that he has NO problem letting Christian know he's dead wrong in how he treats Maria, and he needs to straighten his act up.

    I wouldn't've lasted a week in that household. Kudos to Maria.

    JOSH AND MEGHAN:

    I am so GLAD this Little Southern Princess FINALLY got a backbone and a mouth and told her Wicked Witch of the South MIL (Linda) to butt OUT of her life and let her go along and make her choices and mistakes as she's going to make them. DIDN'T think she'd EVER have that in her, but she proved me wrong, and I was SO happy to see that!

    Linda and Gramma had me absolutely spitting FIRE when they showed up at Josh and Meghan's unannounced. Then, Josh gets home. HE doesn't say anything to them about how rude their actions were. And if I'd've been Meghan, I probably would've let the unannounced visit ride. Up to the point where they were just pulling out of my driveway to leave, that is. BEFORE they left, I would've nicely, respectfully told 'em I didn't mind hosting them, but I DID mind NOT knowing that they were coming BEFOREHAND and them just showing up on my doorstep. Which I would've NEVER done to either of them, as I would consider that to do so on my part would be RUDE.

    And I would've told 'em to please, not do that to me anymore.

    I DON'T think they'd've ever pulled that stunt again.

    And I think going to Indiana (?) will be good for Josh and Meghan. They'll be able to build their own identity and partnership before they have to come back to SC. And Josh will learn to grow into Meghan, and AWAY from Linda.

    VEERAL AND RAGINI:

    I think Veeral's mind is in the 19th century, and he married a 21st century woman.

    I understand Ragini's New Woman take on things. I also understand that she knows her culture, knows its customs, and probably should've cut her losses and headed for the hills after they'd been dating awhile. She strikes me as being the same type of woman who's with a man that has faults that are deal breakers. BUT, she goes ahead, anyway, and says "I DO!", thinking in the back of her mind: "That's OK. I'll change him once we get married!"

    And ONE thing, in particular, I lay fault for directly at HER feet:

    If she's got such issues about having children, if nurturing and growing her career is SO important to her, why in the HELL would she stand up with him in a wedding ceremony (that wasn't) and say in front of God, the officiant, and hundreds of guests that she promised to have one to nine children?

    THEN have the bald-faced nerve to get defensive when he starts in on her about it and she starts backing up.

    I DON'T blame her for wanting to wait for a bit so they can enjoy each other. But the way it came across to me, HER bit might be FIVE OR TEN YEARS out, or NEVER.

    She should've made that CLEAR to him before the question was popped and the ring was on the finger,

    OTOH, Veeral riding her about them moving in with his parents for a year doesn't sit well with me, either. I believe she had a valid point when she said, one year will turn into ten. And no, being a modern Indian woman, I absolutely would NOT want to be shacked up with a traditional Indian couple under MY roof. That just HAPPENED TO be my MIL and FIL.

    Oh, HELL, NO.

    And for Veeral to spring that on her, at dinner, with his parents SITTING THERE, was JUST as wrong as her backing up now on whether or not she wanted to, right now, or was GOING to, even HAVE children.

    He was just as bad with that as she was in waffling about when or IF she was going to be having children.

    I'd be very surprised if they made it.
    TOTALLY agree, ness, on every point you made!

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey Imperfect1's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    Quote Originally Posted by mika06 View Post
    The show is definetey facinating. I agree Christian needs a lot of work and Maria will basically have to wait for him to mature for them to every get better. I love his parents though. I just keep feeling so bad for Peter as well he is like please don't get me married. Let's hope they wait till he is 18 as well. .
    But here's the problem with Christian. He is just not a nice person. Period. And I don't think aging or maturity or waiting makes a not-nice person anything but OLDER, and still a not-nice person. At least with both of the other couples, even though they have differences of opinions and disagreements on life styles, etc., at heart, they ALL seem like basically nice people, who really care for each other. And Maria seems like a real sweetheart who has had the very bad misfortune to be matched with a guy who is NOT a sweetheart. I'm hoping she can still get out of the marriage.
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    FORT Fogey Punkin's Avatar
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    Re: Arranged

    I'm looking forward to seeing what the two 'men' have to say to little Christian about how he behaves towards Maria. Christian seems to know it won't be good because he knows he treats her badly. He's such an arrogant little snot.
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