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Thread: 90 Day Fiance

  1. #881
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Quote Originally Posted by sketcher View Post
    Actually, until relatively recently even here in the good old USA, "love" (usually lust) was the last reason people married. They did so for financial, social, and practical reasons, just as they still do elsewhere around the world. I actually believe that worked out -- and still works out -- better! Lust fades.
    I had a co-worker who was in an arranged marriage. She was very happy. I don't know if I would want to be in one, but I agree, marrying for love only is a pretty recent thing when you consider it.

    As for Jenny, I don't think she loves Larry but maybe she can come to care for him at some point. She might already have decided he isn't so bad and she can have a better life than what she has.
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  2. #882
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    The emphasis on arranged marriages is having things in common, including a world view. Unlike...let's just say MOST people who marry for "love." Also, what they're committed to is not so much a person (who can change), but the marriage itself. And, if both treat each other well, love DOES grow.
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  3. #883
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    I am reminded of the Amy Irving movie, Crossing Delancy. In the movie she is in love with some artist or musician, who might be her boss. She is very professional and hangs out with others in the "arts" in NYC. Her bubby (grandmother) consults a matchmaker who picks a man for her, a local pickle seller. She is aghast that this guy, a pickle seller, would be a match for her, but things change. I know its fiction but its a lovely story.
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    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  4. #884
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    I used to go tubing in the Appalachians, and we would rent tubes from a K-1 couple. They were both pretty detached about it at the beginning-he wanted a young, hot wife to care for him and she wanted someone who could financially provide for her and arrange to have the rest of her family immigrate to the US. From what I understand, they originally had a time limit on the marriage of however long it took to get her family here. By the time that happened, they had grown into a really strong partnership. They had some kids, a steady business, cared for each other. If there wasn't any great passion, at least there was respect and like.

    I think that's the difference in their marriage and what we see on this show though. They were both upfront and completely honest about their situations and expectations and came to an agreement together. She knew he wasn't wealthy but she also wasn't facing getting the lights turned off, or bill collectors knocking on her door every day. And in return, he wasn't deluding himself that she was head over heels for him.
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  5. #885
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Arranged marriages of people who share the same culture are not like these green card marriages.

    The pretty girl and Spanish guy--i cringed watching her demand that these visitors pay $100 for basically her wedding decorations. If it is that important and she loved the guy, she should spring for it......I think he will repay her inconsideration by moving her away from her home.
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  6. #886
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Quote Originally Posted by pretlitdev View Post
    I used to go tubing in the Appalachians, and we would rent tubes from a K-1 couple. They were both pretty detached about it at the beginning-he wanted a young, hot wife to care for him and she wanted someone who could financially provide for her and arrange to have the rest of her family immigrate to the US. From what I understand, they originally had a time limit on the marriage of however long it took to get her family here. By the time that happened, they had grown into a really strong partnership. They had some kids, a steady business, cared for each other. If there wasn't any great passion, at least there was respect and like.

    I think that's the difference in their marriage and what we see on this show though. They were both upfront and completely honest about their situations and expectations and came to an agreement together. She knew he wasn't wealthy but she also wasn't facing getting the lights turned off, or bill collectors knocking on her door every day. And in return, he wasn't deluding himself that she was head over heels for him.
    Or maybe this is just a line they repeat for the show; it's pretty obvious that all these men care about is having a hot young wife! And the women, financial security. And I say there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's a healthy, respectful situation. All relationships are reciprocal in nature.

  7. #887
    I'm Just Sayin' mayamaisha's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Quote Originally Posted by Lizard View Post
    The pretty girl and Spanish guy--i cringed watching her demand that these visitors pay $100 for basically her wedding decorations. If it is that important and she loved the guy, she should spring for it......I think he will repay her inconsideration by moving her away from her home.
    She was some kinda special wasn’t she. Selfish & inconsiderate. The world clearly revolves around her. I liked that her fiancé didn’t step down at her requests. I liked him putting her in her place.


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  8. #888
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Quote Originally Posted by Lizard View Post
    Arranged marriages of people who share the same culture are not like these green card marriages.
    You are right, they are not. I think it was more of a comparison of a couple like Jenny and Larry. He "loves" her and she is marrying for a better life.
    jenniferboston1 likes this.
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  9. #889
    FORT Newbie Mrs. Hanson's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    I knew a woman in an arranged marriage - very happy twenty years later. She wanted to stress that you don't have to agree, if you object your parents pick someone else and you have the option to say no before it ever starts.

    There was a show on Discovery years and years ago on Russian brides and the bride featured was married to a man thirty or so years older. She was very polite and upfront said she was never in love with him, but respected him and had love for him, that he was a good dad to their three young children. (Hey she slept with him a few times!! LOL!)

  10. #890
    FORT Newbie Teri313's Avatar
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    Re: 90 Day Fiance

    Quote Originally Posted by Stargazer161 View Post
    Paul giving Karine his hair and vice versa.....ugh!!
    I don't think Paul and his mother understand that giving a "lock" of hair secured with a ribbon, for example, as a memento is sweet, but taking a clump of hair out of your brush or pulling it out of your head is gross. And just weird! Karine wasn't impressed. And she clearly didn't want him pulling her hair out. He's just a weirdo.
    mayamaisha and Stargazer161 like this.

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