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Thread: All-American Muslim on TLC

  1. #81
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    Based on what I have observed with the wife who wanted the dog gone, I would have insisted she get an allergy test that proves in writing that she is allergic to dogs. Then explore shots to see if that would help, BEFORE getting rid of the dog. I suffer from allergies too, but with mine, I sneeze like crazy, cough like crazy, and my nose pours water. I never saw her do any of that when around the dog. I don't believe her story. She just didn't want the dog.

    Her husband better step up and stop letting her boss him around. No woman wants a push over for a husband. Just saying....

  2. #82
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    I still feel for Shadia.

    I mean pets are great, but if I loved someone who was extremely allergic (I don't think she should have to get and post allergy test results on the show to prove it to the audience- we don't know she hasn't had an allergy test, do we?), I'd want to let them live as unmedicated a life as they wanted or could. I don't quite understand all the - "I'm not buying the allergy" - comments. They aren't filming and showing what happens to her 24/7; she may have been able to medicate or clear up for the filming times, but as a permanent solution, maybe that wasn't desirable or feasible.

    Even if she's exaggerating the allergy situation, her parents wouldn't be able to come over to a house with a dog due to traditional and or religious reasons. That would be a big deal, one that Jeff would be a jerk to disregard and blind to not see the close family ties. She's part of a close family and wants them to be able to come over whenever, I'd guess. While I'll give people that she should have come to him about the dog before (if it is even true that she didn't- sounds like it has been an ongoing discussion that had gotten nowhere each time- until the actual move date- see the exchanges they had while paining the new place last episode) he should have been well aware of the problem a dog would cause due to the close family ties and traditional/religious position of some (i.e. Shadia's parents) on dogs and factored that into the decision to marry. I'm not saying he shouldn't be sad- I'm not telling him to stop crying and I don't think he's weak, but he should have seen it coming and made decisions accordingly if the dog is the most important thing to him. Personally, I think his and Shadia's relationship is more important to him, he's shown that, and I applaud all he's done and wish them well.

  3. #83
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    So, hypothetically, you'd say the same thing if this was done to another faith, including Christianity? Then again...
    Yes, I would. In the instance of the Duggar family, I disagree with their views but I would vehemently defend their right to practice that religion and I would feel the same disgust I feel about Lowe's/Florida Family Association towards any group that pulled funding/advertising from their show based upon those religious beliefs.


    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    And this in bold is somehow different than some people's opinion about Islam that made them go and petition Lowe's? Though it is your opinion and I respect it - I see it in your eyes as just as hateful and ignorant.
    It is a fact that the Quiverful sector of the Christian religion is viewed as a cult. Sorry to burst your bubble. But the Quiverful sector certainly does not represent all Christianity (of which I, myself, partake) does it? No. And yes, it is different. While I take issue with some of the Duggars decisions in parenting - which can be found in the Duggar family thread - I don't believe they are bad people. I don't believe that they are evil. And I would never, ever, claim that because TLC shows them living a happy, normal life they are editing the show deliberately in a positive life, spreading Christian propaganda, or not showing both sides of some fictitious "argument".

    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    The difference is that most Americans feel/know that the country was founded on Christian - yet general good moral - beliefs.
    Whether this is true or not, America was also founded upon a tradition of religious freedom and its people (should) enjoy the right to practice their religion without persecution.


    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    I'd say this with any religion. The problem is that ironically those who disagree with Islam (I disagree with the beliefs, and as mentioned do not believe that all are terrorists), are seen in the same "ignorant, hateful and shameful" light as those who say that they in turn look at Islam.
    I disagree with the beliefs of Islam. I believe that Jesus Christ was the son of God, etc. It becomes ignorant, hateful, and shameful when that disagreement becomes prejudice and stereotyping. By the way, I'm not sure why you think my statement about ignorance applies to you if you don't believe that all Muslims are evil or that Islam is an evil religion. Because that's what I'm taking issue with, and that's what the Florida Family Association is stating.

    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    I find it MOST interesting that Lowes and Kayak.com are being lambasted because they felt that it was in the best interest of both sides to stay out of the argument and let people see them as the stores they are.
    The problem is it is impossible to shake the feeling that Lowe's did this because of the complaints of the Florida Family Association. I don't know as much about the Kayak.com situation so I won't comment on that. I just know that for me, personally, what I find upsetting and almost scary is the fact that it seems that the extreme views of one group are being catered to, views that I feel come from a place of hatred and ignorance.

    Quote Originally Posted by jadewarlock View Post
    I definitely understand Lowes decision based on the Home Depot incident - they did have a significant drop of business after the firing of the one guy for having "God Bless America" on his apron. There, yes, the issue of homosexuality was involved but MOST AMERICANS felt that the phrase "God Bless America" is so common in today's society that it's just said out of history, not necessarily belief. It's economic more than it is the show itself.
    Again, I don't understand this comparison between the two incidents. Unless you're saying that you believe Lowe's is attempting to stay out of the controversy because religion is such an emotionally charged subject? In my opinion, that doesn't work out. Lowe's is in no way doing anything wrong or offending/attacking any religion by advertising on All-American Muslim in the way Home Depot did by firing someone based on displaying their religious beliefs. However, in pulling their funding, they make a statement whether you or they like it or not.
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  4. #84
    FORT Fogey MsDiva2007's Avatar
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    So the FFA is upset because the show doesn't include extremist views also. Will Lowe's and others pull ads on The real Housewives shows because they don't show people with class to balance out the classless. Will they no longer advertise on shows that show heterosexuals because they are leaving out the gay and lesbian view. No advertisement I guess on shows Like toddlers and tiaras because they don't show any normal and nice pageant girls. Like the daily show said. No little big World ads because it doesn't show small people going HiHo and off to work.

    That rep from the FFA is an idiot and so is his association. So next time my family needs to do some renovations we will take our business to Home Depot.
    J_Abdo likes this.
    Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
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  5. #85
    FORT Fogey jadewarlock's Avatar
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain View Post
    The problem is it is impossible to shake the feeling that Lowe's did this because of the complaints of the Florida Family Association. I don't know as much about the Kayak.com situation so I won't comment on that. I just know that for me, personally, what I find upsetting and almost scary is the fact that it seems that the extreme views of one group are being catered to, views that I feel come from a place of hatred and ignorance.
    This happens all the time - PETA has had success with this, other extreme groups (non-religion and religion), etc.

    And - it's a business decision, as some of the pressures that have lead to successes of PETA and the like.

    Again, I don't understand this comparison between the two incidents. Unless you're saying that you believe Lowe's is attempting to stay out of the controversy because religion is such an emotionally charged subject? In my opinion, that doesn't work out. Lowe's is in no way doing anything wrong or offending/attacking any religion by advertising on All-American Muslim in the way Home Depot did by firing someone based on displaying their religious beliefs. However, in pulling their funding, they make a statement whether you or they like it or not.
    *Sigh* I'm showing that controversy goes both ways and ALL groups are discriminated against. I get irritated when only certain ones get looked at but not others. Christianity's griefs tend to be seen as overreacting for example.

    And you HAVE heard of guilt by association haven't you? People correlate businesses advertising in certain shows as having an interest in supporting that endeavor.

    BTW - the main protest of Home Depot - which you have overlooked again, was the fact that they allow Homosexuals the freedom of speech, but not the guy with "God Bless America." And most people honestly don't give a damn about a person's sexual orientation, so therefore they're offended by this blatant contradiction in freedom of speech.

    And that contradiction - this case however freedom of speech - cost Home Depot a lot of business. Our store personally does not allow any markings except names on the aprons because of it to not lose business.

    Again, Lowe's is wanting staying out of the controversy because they're a business, and know that controversy - guilt by association - and advertising in an area of controversy can cost them business. Do an economic search and you'll notice businesses that have seen drops because of things like this.

    That said, I doubt Lowe's will have a severe drop, as has happened with most businesses. This is my opinion and it won't change.

  6. #86
    "SPYING" ButterflyFaery's Avatar
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    just wanted to let ya'll know we have a comparative religion topic under the current events section you might find some of the comments interesting when talking about and/or comparing religious beliefs
    SAVE THE WHALES..THE OCEANS DIE..WE DIE!!!

  7. #87
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    I am a business owner and am careful to stay away from religious or political signs or literature in my store. You always run the risk of offending someone and most businesses feel that those things are better addressed in personal venues rather than in a place of business. The unfortunate thing is that Lowes made the decision to pull out after the fact when they might have been beter served not to have advertised to begin with.
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  8. #88
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    I don't watch this show anymore for a variety of reasons...and not because I have any animosity towards any Muslims, except the ones who'd like to kill other people because of their religion.
    I do like reading the posts though. I don't know if Shadia and her husband lived together before marriage...probably not because of religious beliefs, but I would think but Shadia's allergies would have definitely been apparent long before now.
    I've seen many many people with allergies to various house pets and it's extremely difficult to be in a place where an animal resides. I'm aware that there are different levels of allergies, but if it's not minor how was she able to visit her boyfriend (before marriage) and to live there with him and his dog? It would have naturally have come up as a subject to decide how this would be handled in the marriage. Same goes for whether the parents/family would be able to come visit. If it was minor, and she was able to live there, why decide now that the dog must go?
    Just seems suspect to me.
    Who needs an allergy test to prove they're allergic to animals....it should be obvious and a constant in their lives so far.
    Like I posted before, Shadia said she wore a head covering for 13 years but wouldn't for the tv show because how her religion would be on display. I find that hypocritical and makes me think she may not be an open and honest person. And as far as I'm concerned, her religion plays absolutely no part in this train of thought. I tend to judge people on their actions, not their words.
    Last edited by Dragonlady; 12-17-2011 at 04:14 AM.

  9. #89
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    Shadia made the decision not to wear the headscarf (and wear less modest clothes I guess) after high school, not for the show (unless I'm really wrong on her age) according to this:
    TLC debuts ‘All-American Muslim’ reality show - Arizona News from USA Today

    I don't know that religion plays no part in her thought. The development of religious beliefs is often a journey. I see the same sorts of attitudes in Christianity. Some make all decisions according to the Bible (and some decide only doing X is enough) and even among those for whom God comes first, there are differing opinions on what the Bible says on drinking, modesty, attending worship, baptism, etc. I can't go so far as to say these people aren't honest or sincere (even if I may not agree). She may well be at a point in life where she's putting her own will ahead of God's (as I think all religious people have been at some point), but it's a journey and I think she's brave to put that very personal thing on display and to open herself up to such criticism as she tends to get.

    Also I think hijab is more complicated than just putting it on equals committing or recommitting to the faith and taking it off means you're taking a step back, distancing ones self, or rethinking it. Though it is interesting that hijab, as we saw with Samira, means you not only cover your head, but you have to have your arms and legs covered and wear more modest clothes in general. This is the thing that has always made me assume hijab equals putting God first. Maybe the reasons are different in a non-Muslim country, too. Maybe it is more a statement of faith to others. I have no doubt it is personal, first, though. I have heard women feel safer and more empowered because men won't leer at them and to some it is a sign to give respect for their values (modesty) and men look away on purpose. One of the women spoke about only letting your husband see your hair and what's under your clothes- it makes sense to me, especially the clothes. I mean when that woman at Samira's office asked her why hijab'ed women shop at Victoria Secret- I was so embarrassed for her (not Samira, but the questioner). I guess she thought that no one was allowed to see anything, rather than your body is for your husband (much like some Christians believe) and so the sexy lingerie is for him and not the whole world. Maybe that was a scripted question. If that was a real question, I hope I wasn't condescending, but I'd definitely want to know what exactly her view of Muslims (and Christians for that matter) is and where she's coming from on that (I mean if the use of Victoria Secret clothes that came to her mind was not immediately husband and wife, is she thinking the common usage of these items to wear it outside or parade in front of men in premarital relationships, trying to get a husband?). That sounds bad, but I'm curious as to where she's coming from.

    ***

    On the dog thing I'm still not seeing it as suspect because she didn't live with Jeff beforehand and they only spent a few weeks in the old place from what I could tell. Maybe she dealt with it, suffered through it in a way that wasn't feasible long term, actually living with the dog full time indefinitely.

    My main point is that Jeff should get more of the blame on this than he's getting- Shadia's getting all of the heat on Facebook and other online venues. Jeff gets nothing but sympathy and "ohhhh I loooove dogs". Shadia's allergies were presented on the show as the first and primary reason to get rid of the dog, but I don't know that we ever heard from her which reasons were most important- I just remember seeing little snippets of conversation- it's hard to say. Let's say, hypothetically, the allergy thing is overblown and not the real reason. The family reason would still be huge and not made up even if she doesn't follow the religion as closely as some. He really should already know she has a tight knit family, her dad can't /won't pray with the dog around and so won't be able to come over much if at all and this creates a big problem in the close Arab family situation where everybody's always inviting, visiting and eating together.

    I just can't discount the allergy thing because of what I'd do if my family had them (maybe that's the reason may are doubting her- because of their experiences). None of us do, but my husband and I talked about what we'd do (before the kids were born) if the kids should develop cat allergies. We love our animals. We'd look into medication, but if the allergy was severe or the side effects made the kid miserable or it was not feasible in some other way, then the animals would have to go and we'd have to look into how to get rid of dander or move.

    I wonder why Jeff's relatives didn't take the dog? Or a friend? I mean, they could have saved the dog from his fate and Jeff could go visit him. Unless his family is allergic. But, then, why couldn't they medicate themselves and suck it up for their son. I'm kidding here. Really, but I wonder shy Jeff's family is silent ...unless they are mad about the conversion.

    Even if she "just isn't a dog person" - the only line which made me doubt her at all- we don't have the whole story on reality shows. I remember getting the Big Brother After Dark for a few years when I liked Big Brother. I was shocked at how different things were portrayed, how things evolved and were way more complicated, some "mean" people weren't actually as bad as they appeared on the actual show and vice versa, etc. That is a game, though, so manipulation is beneficial for the show for the wow factor in who gets voted out and all that. Even though All-American Muslim isn't a game, it could be a case of not including all the relevant info due to time or to generate controversy.

    Hope this isn't beating a dead horse to continue talking about this one... My apologies if it is.

  10. #90
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    Re: All-American Muslim on TLC

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    I don't watch this show anymore for a variety of reasons...and not because I have any animosity towards any Muslims, except the ones who'd like to kill other people because of their religion.
    I do like reading the posts though. I don't know if Shadia and her husband lived together before marriage...probably not because of religious beliefs, but I would think but Shadia's allergies would have definitely been apparent long before now.
    I've seen many many people with allergies to various house pets and it's extremely difficult to be in a place where an animal resides. I'm aware that there are different levels of allergies, but if it's not minor how was she able to visit her boyfriend (before marriage) and to live there with him and his dog? It would have naturally have come up as a subject to decide how this would be handled in the marriage. Same goes for whether the parents/family would be able to come visit. If it was minor, and she was able to live there, why decide now that the dog must go?
    Just seems suspect to me.
    Who needs an allergy test to prove they're allergic to animals....it should be obvious and a constant in their lives so far.
    Like I posted before, Shadia said she wore a head covering for 13 years but wouldn't for the tv show because how her religion would be on display. I find that hypocritical and makes me think she may not be an open and honest person. And as far as I'm concerned, her religion plays absolutely no part in this train of thought. I tend to judge people on their actions, not their words.

    Actually, anyone who's allergic, or believes he/she may be allergic, to anything should get an allergy test to make sure what exactly it is that he/she is allergic to and how best to treat it. Lots of people who are allergic to one thing are allergic to a cluster of things, so it makes sense to find out what they all are and what precautions should be taken. For instance, dust mite allergies are very common and would have nothing to do with the dog in that dust mites would be living independently of the dog. If she's allergic to dust mites too, she needs to know so she can get the correct bedding and treat it and carpets etc. properly. If she hasn't been tested, for all she (or anyone else) would know, it might not actually even be the dog to which she was reacting. Before I was tested, I remember sitting on someone's deck in the country, holding a cat, and sneezing my head off. Everyone assumed it was the cat. I insisted I'd held plenty of cats, dogs etc. before and never had that reaction. Once I was tested, it turned out I am, in fact, not allergic to cats, dogs, or any other animal I'd normally come into contact with, though I am allergic to wool and shouldn't wear it, and I suppose if I were in the habit of holding sheep, I might break out in a rash. What I was likely reacting to is the open fields just beyond the deck, because I am allergic to a variety of late summer grasses and it was August.

    Personally, from what little I've seen of the show, Jeff and Shadia seem not to have discussed a lot of things before the marriage, and it was clear that Jeff's parents were hurt by his decision to convert from the Catholic tradition in which he had been raised and which was important to them. Not that adult children shouldn't be able to choose their own religion or that his parents wanted to disown him or weren't cordial enough to Shadia and her family, but they were obviously and naturally a little uncomfortable with the celebrating that was going on with regard to his conversion, as I'm sure Shadia's family would have been if she were the one converting. Jeff also seemed quite grumpy about having to follow the fasting tradition connected with Ramadan and honestly seemed to be converting more to marry Shadia than because his beliefs had actually changed. Shadia expecting him to give up the dog without mentioning it as an issue (so far as we know) before the marriage is yet another issue. I guess I just see a lot of potential difficulties/awkwardness already arising in the marriage and wonder how long they spent thoroughly thinking any of it through.

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