Dance Moms on Lifetime

[prhoshay]

Having spent 12 years in Catholic schools and taught very strict discipline, I am grateful for what I learned and where it, mentally, put me. I do see huge differences between how I conduct myself, as a result. The foundation had been laid by the time I got to high school, and the discipline didn't seem so bad; I really saw a difference when I go to college and was thrown into a mixed bag of people. I was not traumatized and adjusted well. Discipline and high expectations are not a bad thing, necessarily; I think it's more dependent on the child's personality and their home background.

[Critical]

I didn't go to Catholic school, but I was in dance classes from the age of 6 until 18 and I NEVER had a dance teacher speak to me (or saw them speak to any other pupil) the way Abby speaks to her students and plenty of the kids at the studios I attended went on to have BIG careers in dance. IMO, there's a HUGE difference between discipline and verbal abuse. Abby calls those children stupid, screams at them, says horrid things about them and their mothers. It's NOT acceptable. I don't care what her justifications are and NO, I don't believe for a second that it will make them better people. It will only make them more willing to accept that treatment from others.

I don't care if Abby loves her mother or her dog. That only makes her treatment of other people MORE inexcusable because she's clearly capable of better behavior.

Either those mothers are so desperate to be on TV that they're willing to risk the emotional well being of their children or the contract for this show is so ironclad that they can't get out. Whatever the reason is, I think they're crazy to stay and be subjected to that abuse. There are plenty of better dance studios out there.

[mom2]

Agreed. I teach 5th grade and I am very strict and expect a lot from them. I have yet to call any of my students names - other than "Goober", which I call myself at times as well - or take any frustrations I have with their parents out on them.

The parents are fair game, but the kids should be off limits.

[PA Snow Bunny]

I had 7 weeks of this show on dvr so I decided to make a mini-marathon of Dance Moms but I just couldn't. It is all the same week after week after week. Abby yells, the Mom scream, Abby screams back, the girls are either numb to it or try not to show any emotions during these tirades.
I FF through all if that crap & just watched the girls dancing & didn't bother to see where anyone placed. I hope all involved are getting paid a whole heck of alot of money for this nonsense.

[Critical]

Agreed. I teach 5th grade and I am very strict and expect a lot from them. I have yet to call any of my students names - other than "Goober", which I call myself at times as well - or take any frustrations I have with their parents out on them.

The parents are fair game, but the kids should be off limits.

But only if it's not in front of the kids.

[Fanny Mare]

I had 7 weeks of this show on dvr so I decided to make a mini-marathon of Dance Moms but I just couldn't. It is all the same week after week after week. Abby yells, the Mom scream, Abby screams back, the girls are either numb to it or try not to show any emotions during these tirades.
I FF through all if that crap & just watched the girls dancing & didn't bother to see where anyone placed. I hope all involved are getting paid a whole heck of alot of money for this nonsense.

When it's your teacher and your mom, I think thats pretty hard NOT to see or hear. I danced from 5 -18. Not one teacher yelled at me, and I had a healthy respect for all of them . You can't yell at a child all the time and not change who they are. It's that simple

If anyone yelled at my daughter, and now my granddaughters while they take dance, I would pull them out of there PDQ!

[Tilden]

If Abby were a teacher in any kind of regular classroom, she'd never get away with that behavior, regardless of what grade level she taught. Neither the parents or the administrators would stand for it.

It does make me wonder what kind of dance teachers Abby had and what they said to her that makes her think that's an appropriate way to push students to excel. You can correct people without making them feel like a mistake, even a big one, is indicative that they themselves are worthless. I also really hate how Abby typically goes on about how she and her studio are going to suffer if the girls don't dance well. That may be true, but it's a heck of a burden to dump on the shoulders of nine, ten, and eleven year old girls. Realistically, Abby also put herself in this position by agreeing to do the show. Normally, I'm sure, dancers aren't expected to compete entirely different dances every week or go to as many competitions as those girls go to on the show. I believe Abby herself has admitted to that and has admitted that the pyramid was an idea constructed specifically for the show.

Abby has huge expectations about these girls going on to have professional dance careers, but some of them may decide they simply would like to do something else or that a dancer's career is so short and so peripatetic that it just doesn't appeal to them as a way to live. Or their bodies may grow and change in ways that make a career in dance less feasible. Or they may suffer an injury. Realistically, I doubt Holly or Nia, for instance, are really assuming she's going to be a professional dancer. It's just something she has a passion for right now, not her entire future. But Abby just can't understand that. She still doesn't seem to understand why Brooke and Paige's mom would give up on dance and decide to marry and have kids instead. At one point, she even called her a failure, someone who just gave up, for that reason. Deciding you want something other than what you thought you wanted at twelve isn't giving up. It's just moving on. Good heavens, think about what the world would be like if everyone grew up to be what they said they wanted to be when they were six or seven. It would be a world full of ballerinas and firemen and superheroes.

[PA Snow Bunny]

Last night I watched the last episode, the Abby speed dating one. I thought this show was filmed in Pittsburgh or else Lifetime is so broke they just used stock footage. Unless the ladies driving to the speed dating event in Philadelphia something was way off. I KNEW the road they were on very well since my son went to college in Philadelphia. Of course there COULD REALLY be a road in Pittsburgh that has an exit for Market & 30th Street and one for Center City Phila...yea nope that was the Schuylkill Expressway.

[Starbucks880]

Agreed. I teach 5th grade and I am very strict and expect a lot from them. I have yet to call any of my students names - other than "Goober", which I call myself at times as well - or take any frustrations I have with their parents out on them.

The parents are fair game, but the kids should be off limits.

Agreed. It seems she treats the kids based on how she feels about the moms for the moment. I would like to know where she gets the idea that the kids are somehow responsible for their mothers vile behavior or can somehow control them. It is not their fault. I have no problem with her talking to them about what they do wrong in dance, but the rest is unacceptable. If she has a problem with the moms, she should dismiss them like she did this week and yell at the moms then. I also do think they should let Brooke off the team. She is incredibly talented and has acrobatic skills you don't see in most people, but she clearly does not want to be there. I also doubt that any of them will go on to become professional dancers.

[Tilden]

Agreed. It seems she treats the kids based on how she feels about the moms for the moment. I would like to know where she gets the idea that the kids are somehow responsible for their mothers vile behavior or can somehow control them. It is not their fault. I have no problem with her talking to them about what they do wrong in dance, but the rest is unacceptable. If she has a problem with the moms, she should dismiss them like she did this week and yell at the moms then. I also do think they should let Brooke off the team. She is incredibly talented and has acrobatic skills you don't see in most people, but she clearly does not want to be there. I also doubt that any of them will go on to become professional dancers.

I really don't like it when Abby puts the girls in the position of choosing her/dance or their mothers. She did that with Maddie, about the parking lot walk out, and had her in tears. She did it last night with Chloe, when she told her she expected her to tell her mother when she was out of line. Yes, Christie can be out of line--they all can be, including Abby--but I don't doubt that she and Chloe love each other, and Abby shouldn't be trying to make Chloe feel as if she has to reprimand her own mother or never be allowed another solo. Nor should she make Maddie feel as if it were her responsibility to get to dance class if her mother said no, when Maddie's all of, what, ten?

I didn't like that she reamed Brooke out in front of everyone and suggested it was time to decide if she really wanted to dance anymore either. I'd have no problem if she calmly had that discussion with Brooke and her mom in private, because Brooke does seem as if she's lost enthusiasm for dance, though it's hard to tell if it's that or just being involved with Abby's team. To be fair, there's a huge difference between fourteen and ten or eleven, in terms of interests, and it could be that Brooke just would prefer to be with girls her own age. Or maybe she is coming to the realization that her body isn't going to hold out for a career in professional dance. Or that she'd rather be doing something else. Whatever it is, it probably is time to discuss it, but not like that.