Dance Moms on Lifetime

[PA Snow Bunny]

These mothers allow their children to be yelled at because they all have visions of their children being "STARS". Watch Toddlers & Tiaras as a prime example. I've noticed it even more this season that it isn't as much about the child as it is about how it makes the MOMS feel. Dance Moms are no different.

IIRC last year Brooke wanted to quit dance for cheerleading but her Mom wouldn't allow her to quit dance. If Brooke wants to have a normal teenage experiences then she should have been allowed to & she should not have signed up to dance for the group for the upcoming preformance season. She had every opportunity to decline to dance with the group when they were replacing Vivi. That was her chance. When my sons didn't want to do an activity or sport any longer, that was fine by me however I did insist on them finishing out their season.

[jenniferboston1]

These mothers allow their children to be yelled at because they all have visions of their children being "STARS". Watch Toddlers & Tiaras as a prime example. I've noticed it even more this season that it isn't as much about the child as it is about how it makes the MOMS feel. Dance Moms are no different.

IIRC last year Brooke wanted to quit dance for cheerleading but her Mom wouldn't allow her to quit dance. If Brooke wants to have a normal teenage experiences then she should have been allowed to & she should not have signed up to dance for the group for the upcoming preformance season. She had every opportunity to decline to dance with the group when they were replacing Vivi. That was her chance. When my sons didn't want to do an activity or sport any longer, that was fine by me however I did insist on them finishing out their season.

ITA with your post! And...I no longer watch Toddlers and Tiaras. That show reallyyyy started to bother me.

[redsox girl]

So Brooke actually said she wanted to pursue cheerleading rather than dance last year? So, as a child (and to me she is a child) is it her responsibility to face an abusive person like Abby and tell her she no longer wishes to dance? Any sane parent would clearly remove the child o rchildren from such an unhealthy environemnt and make sure the child is not made the focus of Abby's rage, which always includes degradation and belittling in front of the childs peers and their parents. Now, I can understand parents insisting a child fufill a season if they are in a healthy and safe environemnt but any parent who would insist their child stay in a situation with a coach who is abusive has questionable parenting skills. I do not expect Brooke, or anyone at the age of 12/13 to be put in the positon of telling their abusive coach they quit. And it's clear Brooke isn't being heard by the adults since she told her mother last season she was thinking of cheerleading instead of dancing. Her mother should have sat with her and had a long talk about what Brooke wanted to do, why she wanted to drop out of dance (not that it needs any explanation). Then her mother should have made the decision to pull Brooke from the crazy lady dance program so that Brooke could pursue cheerleading. Another thing to take into consideration is that each child is an individual and while one child may not show any ill affects (at least for now) dealing with Abby, others may not have the same dispositon.
These parents and Crazy Dance Lady are taking this waaaaaaaay toooooooooo seriously.

[PA Snow Bunny]

Is it the responsibility of the child to tell the coach she/he are quitting...absolutely NO! It is the responsibility of the parent to do this however if said child is Brooke's age she should go with her mother & have the 3 of them have a sane conversation. Yes I know with Abby & any of those mothers that will never happen. Brooke's mom was a studen of Abby years back & I imagine she has visions in Brooke of the stardom she never acheived. I doubt she sees that potential in her other daughter Paige bit IMHO I believe that with Brooke gone Paige may have the chance to shine.

[mom2]

In Season One, Kelly made a comment that Brooke used to be the star, like Maddie is now.

I cannot believe that knowing she's filmed, Abby blatantly punishes Paige for her sister's quitting and her mother's arguments.

[Tilden]

I just read an on-line article about Abby Lee Miller, in which she said that her students aren't little girls--Mackenzie is seven. And think how many movies Shirley Temple had made by the time she was seven. She described her students as athletes and artists with careers to keep in mind.

Honestly, she's just delusional. Yes, Shirley Temple had made a lot of movies by the time she was seven, but her childhood was not altogether happy and how much of a career did she have as an adult? And how many thousands of little girl tap dancers are out there and how many have ever made a "career" out of it in any sense of the word? And I'm sorry, but seven is still a little girl. Oh, yeah, and Anderson Cooper apparently called Abby out on having never had a professional dance career of her own. I guess no one was telling her she was an athlete and an artist with a career to keep in mind when she was seven.

I did sort of agree with Abby that when it comes to competitions, handing out awards to everyone is ridiculous. I don't know that I'd describe it as ridiculous, but I think past a certain, fairly young age, kids catch on and realize that there is a difference between finishing first and finishing last, no matter how many trophies get handed out. Now, if they just want to participate in an activity without any competition attached to it, that's great, as far as I'm concerned. But if it's supposed to be a competition...well, isn't part of competing learning to win and lose graciously? Or maybe I'm just overly competitive. A few years back now, I was at a friend's daughter's softball game, and it drove me nuts. I know the girls were under ten, but if they're supposed to be playing softball, they should be taught the skills/rules involved in playing the game. The left fielder should be told that she can't just sit down and make clover chains because she's bored. I don't care if they don't keep score or whatever, but I do think part of being a softball team is being a good teammate, and I don't think sitting down mid-game is being a good teammate. I also think that if the girls weren't being taught how to throw, catch, and hit, then what was the point? They certainly weren't learning whether they enjoyed playing softball or not, because so far as I could tell, they weren't actually playing anything.

But maybe what really bugged me is that I knew darn well if they were little boys, that left fielder would have been told to stand up and pay attention or get involved in some other activity (which I'd also be fine with--if she would have preferred an arts and crafts activity to softball, more power to her). My father, who was especially good at teaching kids how to throw, bat etc. never cared if someone wasn't a great athlete (which was fortunate, since none of his daughters were) but he did care that everyone tried their best and knew the appropriate way to hold a bat or chase down a grounder.

[Tilden]

In Season One, Kelly made a comment that Brooke used to be the star, like Maddie is now.

I cannot believe that knowing she's filmed, Abby blatantly punishes Paige for her sister's quitting and her mother's arguments.

If that's true, it's kind of scary. If Abby consistently picks a young girl to be the "star" and then discards her for a new favorite as she gets older, that's a devastating thing to do to a girl. It's also reminiscent of the way Bela Karolyi has been accused of treating his gymnasts. He produced a lot of winners too, but there are also a lot of girls who were left behind in the wreckage when they didn't peak at exactly the right time--and he used to pit his girls against one another in terms of being the "favorite" too, which is what that stupid pyramid reminds me of every time I see it. I know Abby said that's something that was just created for the show, but obviously she didn't have any problem going along with it either.

[PA Snow Bunny]

IMHO I don't think Abby is punishing Paige because of Brooke & their mom. I think Paige lacks the self confidence of Brooke. It's tough to live under your big sister's star. Paige was given several solos last season & froze onstage each time. Mom then went behind Abby's back & hired a different chorographer to make up a dance for Paige which Paige could not remember. Abby kept Paige in the group numbers but moved Nia into additional solos.

[Tilden]

It may be true that Paige just suffers from some kind of stage fright that doesn't affect her sister, but Abby still shouldn't be saying some of the things she does to Paige or in front of her. For instance, when their mom elected to go with Brooke to her tryouts instead of to the dance competition, Abby said to Paige, "Well, I guess that tells you where you stand." Even if she thought Brooke was being unfairly favored, she should have kept her mouth shut--or just been more encouraging to Paige, without bringing up her mother or sister at all. All she accomplished by saying that was to make Paige feel worse, which certainly wasn't going to help her confidence. It was inappropriate to call Brooke "nothing" and "worthless" in front of Paige too. Brooke and Paige seem to have a reasonable relationship, and it can't make her feel good to hear her sister called names by her dance teacher. Besides, it's just wrong for an adult to say those kinds of things about a child (or another adult, for that matter).

[PA Snow Bunny]

I actually have a very big issue with any adult yelling, screaming & berating any child much less a child that isn't their own. IT IS VERY WRONG! She said the same thing to Nia when her Mom had to work. Last year though Abby didn't seem to have a problem taking care of Maddie & Mackenzie when their Mom went on vacation with her boyfriend.
Any coach was ever abusive like that to either of my sons they would have been off the team & yes I would have been contacting the league officials.
I just don't get parents who allow it to happen & then argue with the coach in front of the kids. I guess I am just a normal mom with normal kids who didn't aspire to be anything more than who they are.

My oldest son was a fantastic baseball player while my youngest one couldn't catch a ball if you were right next to him. He's an atrist not a jock. They are who they are. They have grown into teriffic young men & I am proud of them.