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Thread: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

  1. #61
    FORT Fogey PA Snow Bunny's Avatar
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    For some reason my son & I got addicted to this show. This is like Toddlers & Tiaras on steroids!
    Some people dream of having a big swimming pool - with me it's closets."
    -Audrey Hepburn.

  2. #62
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    [QUOTE=MizDaisy;4317301]Ah, just another day in the life of Paddy Doherty.

    Daily Star: Simply The Best 7 Days A Week :: News :: Paddy Doherty injured in car park

    I just had a sudden image of what that must have done to Paddy's wife (see, even I don't remember the woman's name). The woman's already lost one son at an early age in a car accident. Then her husband and son both get hurt in fights at the same time. And what recourse does she have? The culture is male-dominated and violence is at least partly how they prove their masculinity.

    Anyone else wondering why the culture has not changed more over the years? You'd think that at some point the women would just get sick of seeing their sons ending up hurt/dead and their daughters married off when they're teenagers.

  3. #63
    FORT Fogey PA Snow Bunny's Avatar
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    Even more you would think women would get sick of being thought of as property by men.
    Some people dream of having a big swimming pool - with me it's closets."
    -Audrey Hepburn.

  4. #64
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    Anyone else wondering why the culture has not changed more over the years? You'd think that at some point the women would just get sick of seeing their sons ending up hurt/dead and their daughters married off when they're teenagers.
    Paddy's wife grew up in the Traveller environment and no doubt witnessed similar occurences of violence among the men throughout her childhood. Boys and girls learn their roles very early: the boys learn that males are "the boss," and that unruly, aggressive behavior is acceptable, and the girls learn that dressing/dancing provocatively will attract a husband, whose behavior they must tolerate. It's an extremely male-dominated society where macho behavior is rewarded and admired. I suspect Paddy's wife, like many Traveller women, are products of their culture in their acceptance of what can happen to their husbands or sons in this type of environment.

  5. #65
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by MizDaisy View Post
    Paddy's wife grew up in the Traveller environment and no doubt witnessed similar occurences of violence among the men throughout her childhood. Boys and girls learn their roles very early: the boys learn that males are "the boss," and that unruly, aggressive behavior is acceptable, and the girls learn that dressing/dancing provocatively will attract a husband, whose behavior they must tolerate. It's an extremely male-dominated society where macho behavior is rewarded and admired. I suspect Paddy's wife, like many Traveller women, are products of their culture in their acceptance of what can happen to their husbands or sons in this type of environment.

    I get that, but at some point, you'd think they'd reach a collective breaking point and decide they just can't handle it anymore. For many years, drinking laws were pretty much non-existent in the U.S. until women couldn't take what it was doing to marriages, families, women, and children anymore and started the temperance movement. Same thing with abolition movements and slavery. Or Civil Rights movements. I remember watching a 60 Minutes piece years ago about the Irish "troubles." They were interviewing two women, one Catholic and one Protestant. They both witnessed yet another horrible violent outbreak resulting in people being shot in the streets, and something in them just broke. One woman crossed the "border," so to speak, went up to the first woman she saw, stuck out her hand, introduced herself, said she was from the other side, and that this had to stop. The woman she approached, shook her hand, introduced herself, and said, "You're right." The two of them went on to form a peace activist group open to both Protestants and Catholics and, if I'm remembering correctly, ended up sharing a Nobel Peace Prize (it was some kind of an award for peace at any rate). Traveler/Gypsy women are dying young, losing children at a greater rate than the rest of the population, suffering more from depression, suffering more from abuse....something's got to break at some point, particularly with greater exposure to outside culture than before, when they really could maintain a greater separation more easily.

  6. #66
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    at some point, you'd think they'd reach a collective breaking point and decide they just can't handle it anymore
    You could say that about any number of women in repressive, male-dominated cultures around the world. Eg, the strictly regulated lives of orthodox Jewish women, conservative Muslim women who must be completely covered in a burka when in public, and not permitted to be in public with a man who's not a family member, to name a few. Only recently have Saudi women challenged the rule against women being allowed to drive. Women were not permitted to work outside the home--even women's lingerie stores were staffed by men (talk about creepy) until recently, although no one expects large numbers of women doing retail jobs since their families would still object. Customs that have been ingrained in a culture for centuries are difficult to change, even from within that culture. That's not to say it's impossible for women to break away from repressive cultures, but it's difficult to leave the security of the known for the uncertainty of the unknown, like women who stay with an abusive partner rather than leave and start a new life. It's difficult for many of us to fathom, but the fact that women continue to accept the demands of repressive cultures even in the 21st century indicates these cultures are not going away any time soon.
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  7. #67
    …irinn go BrŠch NJ EJ's Avatar
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    My heart broke during the paint ball scenes, watching all of those illiterate young people who didn't seem the least bit embarrassed for the world to know they can't read. They just couldn't follow the rules & didn't seem fazed to be thrown out.

    It isn't quite the same with my relatives in Ireland. Maybe it's becaused they're 'settled folk', but my cousins all finished school. But they're still ostracized & are not allowed to patronize many pubs & restaurants -- I've been with them when they've been spit on in the street. Disgusting, but true.

  8. #68
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by NJ EJ View Post
    My heart broke during the paint ball scenes, watching all of those illiterate young people who didn't seem the least bit embarrassed for the world to know they can't read. They just couldn't follow the rules & didn't seem fazed to be thrown out.

    It isn't quite the same with my relatives in Ireland. Maybe it's becaused they're 'settled folk', but my cousins all finished school. But they're still ostracized & are not allowed to patronize many pubs & restaurants -- I've been with them when they've been spit on in the street. Disgusting, but true.

    I have a question that maybe you can answer. In tonight's episode, when one family was having difficulty finding a place to hold a wedding reception, the mother of the bride said that the moment they hear your voice on the phone, they tell you no, because you're a traveler (or words to that effect). Do Irish travelers have some kind of distinctive accent that's easily recognized, at least by other people who are Irish? I didn't think they all sounded alike to me, but it's not like I'm an expert on Irish dialects.

    It also made me wonder why some of the "settled folk," as you called them, didn't get into the wedding reception business, unless it's just that they can't get adequate business loans because of discrimination. Seems like they'd do a ton of business if the Travelers knew they'd have a place where they wouldn't be turned away and where the owners would be familiar with their customs.

  9. #69
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    An interesting article about the Stow horse fair, a 500 year tradition for the British Roma/Traveller communities.

    2009 fashion news - Stow horse fair: gipsy fashion and horse trading - New Fashion 2011, Latest Fashion Trends for Women & Men 2011-2012 Online

    One gets the sense that gipsy culture, far from being on the wane, is stronger than ever. This is partly down to evangelical Christianity, which has swept through their community over the past two decades. Traditionally, gipsies have tended to adopt the religion of the country in which they live. With the rise of evangelism in Britain, itís perhaps not surprising that the gipsies, with their traditional values, would have welcomed it with such zeal.

    Isabel tells me that gipsy culture is becoming more, not less, traditional. 'It used to be the women who did most of the work, going out to sell pegs or picking fruit. We called the men kettle boilers because thatís all they did. But now weíve been born again as Christians. Itís been good for our community. Weíve stopped selling heather and charms. We gave some things up for Jesus, but itís kept us strong. The younger ones like the traditions, like cast-iron kettles and proper campfires. And the girls want big families again, and most of them will only marry another gipsy.í

    Amadine smiles when her mother says this. Sheís here at the fair to find a man. 'I never want to marry out. I want a husband to be head of the family, and what he says is law, just like in the Bible.í

    Amadine is not alone. None of the girls seems to crave fame or money or a big house. They want children, a nice trailer, a husband who treats them nicely and brings in the money. To the outsider this may sound intensely claustrophobic, but when you look at the girls cavorting around the fair together, falling in and out of each otherís trailers, minding each otherís children, comparing hair, make-up, husbands, it certainly looks like a culture mostly at ease with itself. ... None of them expresses a dissenting desire for anything different: it is what theyíve grown up with and it is the life they want for their daughters, too.

    Katrina Cassidy is at the fair with her sisters, Priscilla and Josie, and her daughter Bridgie, ... she describes herself as a full-time housewife, though she is proud of the fact that she stayed at school until she was 13 and can read and write. 'I want Bridgie to have the education I had, because a lot of these girls canít read or write,í she says. 'Now thatís not right, but Iím happy to be at home. Why would I want to work now Iíve got a baby? This is a good life. We were brought up as gipsies and weíll always respect those traditions. Family matters to us most, but we love the chance to have a party.í
    It's sad that Katrina's perception of "higher education" is staying in school long enough to learn how to read and write.

  10. #70
    Reality Tv Addict taracran's Avatar
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    Re: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

    I decided to watch this show tonight and I do not like it at all! Very strange??
    A cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home

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