Come one, come all and feast your eyes upon this weeks Top Ten Moments in Reality TV.
Each week writers at the FORT get together and write up moments to make you smile, moments to make you nod in agreement, moments that have for one reason or another stood out in the reality television shows.
10) The Academy Award for Best Actress Goes To
Hmmm, looks like we have a tie. Both Jenna and Heidi from Survivor 6 could easily win the Oscar. Jenna managed to convince all but one of the Jury members that she alone deserved to be handed the title of Sole Survivor, and that she actually has grown since watching herself on TV. Heidi convinced people that she was actually brilliant, and that her “dumb Act” was precisely that… an act. If Heidi is brilliant and Jenna not only deserved to win, but is going to become a better person from her experience, then we are living in Bizzarro World. Rain falls up, the sky is green and Heidi and Jenna are perfect role models for pre-pubescent girls everywhere.
9) It Isn’t Called Mr. Nice Looking
Hayley on Mr. Personality showed us once again just how shallow she really is. When she unmasked one of the would be suitors this week she lamented (again and again) on the fact that she shouldn’t have gotten rid of him because he was so nice looking. Hayley, honey, if he had the right personality you would have kept him. Right? I get pretty upset hearing her comment on their looks over and over after they are booted. This wasn’t supposed to be about looks.
8) Ultimate Extreme
The Extreme Makeover Team took it up a notch this week by doing more magic on one person than they have ever done before. Sandra Allen, a fifty-three year old widow from Mesa, Arizona, got the extreme treatment. She had a brow lift, a face lift, a nose job, breast lift and augmentation, a neck lift, fat injections in her lips and cheeks, lasik eye surgery and a complete dental restoration. Her dental work included whitening, periodontal therapy, bonding and partial dentures. But that is not all. She got a new wardrobe, hairstyle and color, and a makeup lesson. It seems well worth the effort from the Extreme Team as Sandra lost quite a few years and gained a new start in life.
7) And then there were two
All season, the hype on American Idol has been centered on two contestents; Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard. Kimberley Locke's exit Wednesday made it official. Once the competition was pared down to 12, Clay and Ruben were coined, at different times, 'the one to beat'. Week after week, Clay and Ruben would come through with show-stopping performances and often, one or the other was selected to close the show. While Clay and Ruben are polar opposites in terms of vocal style and appearance, both are remarkably consistent, have huge fan followings and are immensely talented. Kimberley put up a fight and proved that she can sing with the best of them, but the night ended the way most people expected - with Clay and Ruben to battle it out at the final.
6) The Bachelorettes Dish
It was nice to see all of the ladies sitting smiling at the reunion show opening. Polite giggle, applause, giving their best beauty queen smiles. When the Host asked the gals to dish, boy did they. Liz is nuts, Amber spent her 15 minutes of fame in a wine bottle, Tina is Fab, Kirsten’s a bitch, Cristina is a desperate old hag, We love Jen and think Andrew is a dork.
Tina the not so Fab summed it up nicely, by saying there were some women, who if Andrew had said, he liked to "Kick Puppies," would have agreed and added - "Cool! Me too, I like it when they cry."
A little nasty but right on the money Tina....
5) And You Thought The Winner Was Pathetic
I, for one, was hoping for some really great questions from the Jury assembled at the final Tribal Council on Survivor this week. Most questions seemed benign in nature, bordering on boring. Then we got to Heidi. She asked a reasonable question, wanting to know if the two finalists, Matt and Jenna thought that there was anyone else more deserving of their spots as the top two. After both answered that they thought Rob had played a better game, Heidi stammered, she wanted more. She asked if that was it, if perhaps there was someone, anyone else they could think of. Neither Matt nor Jenna could think of anyone and Heidi was visibly upset. Millions of viewers rolled their eyes in unison realizing that poor delusional Heidi wanted to hear her name. Luckily for her, Jeff decided not to embarrass her further and sent her back to her seat. Realizing that Heidi actually thought she was more deserving of a final two spot was most definitely a Top Ten Moment this week
4) Married to a Stranger
This week on Extreme Makeover we got to see a man exchange vows with a woman he had never seen before. Blake married Karen who spent the last six weeks in transformation with the help of the Extreme Makeover Team. The first time he got to see the new Karen was when she walked down the aisle at their wedding. He said that when she first stepped out of the limo he tilted his head so he could see around that beautiful woman and capture the moment Karen stepped out. Then he realized it was Karen. The night before the wedding Karen phoned Blake to tell him that no matter who stood beside him the next day he should marry her and everything would be alright. Everything turned out just fine. Karen looked so good in her wedding gown that one of her son's buddies told him she was hot!
3) If You've Got It, Flaunt It.......or not
This week on the reunion show of Survivor: The Amazon, everyone's favorite reality show host, Jeff Probst, interviewed the 16 Amazon castaways. He mentioned Heidi and Jenna's strategy of using their sex appeal or 'assets' to get farther in the game. Deena's comments on this are definitely worthy of a top 10 moment this week. She boldly said that she didn't fault them for using their bodies, and that if she had it, she would flaunt it too. Surprised, Jeff asked if she really meant that. After the slightest moment of hesitation, Deena's honest reply came..... "Um, NO."
2) Smack Talkin’ May Have Helped Get Him There…
…..but it wasn’t enough to keep the nice guys from finishing first…and second. This week on Fear Factor three nice looking men, and one who may have been nice looking if we could have gagged him, competed for the title of Grand Champion and a check for $100,000.
Aaron Mullen may have been able to talk the talk, but when it came to performing he was weighed, measured and found lacking.
Having Aaron eliminated meant that Mark Hewlett and Todd Staples made it to the final stunt. With great camaraderie these two battled it out in a stunt that required a bit of help from Lady Luck. She smiled on Mark as he walked away the Champion. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, and the best thing is it wouldn’t have mattered which one of the two won. Congratulations going out to both Mark and Todd, they both proved that not only was Fear not a Factor for them, but neither was having to listen to Aqua-Man wanna-be Aaron.
1) Cross-Promotion With Earplug Supplier a Success!
On American Idol, they were down to the final 3. The best of the best. The cream of the crop. The, uh, unlikeliest trio of singers you'd ever run into. First up, drawing songs out of a fishbowl. Kimberley Locke chooses "Band of Gold", which she's sung before. How conveeeeenient. Ruben Studdard selected "Signed, Sealed, Delivered", and had a hard time keeping up with the extra-fast arrangement. Clay Aiken drew "Vincent", a song which not only broke the mood of the uptempo songs that came before and after, but in a "who shot Kennedy"-sized twist of events, was apparently lengthened less than 30 minutes prior to showtime by the producers. Did they want to reduce the allotted "Ryan insulting Simon" time? We may never know... But what we DO know is that drawing songs from a bowl should be forever outlawed on future American Idols.
The FORT would like to thank the writers that contributed this week. In alphabetical order, they are: cali, enygma, Feifer, John, KylieGrant, Miss. Filangi