OWN - The Oprah Winfrey Network

[Dragonlady]

1st bolded ... Can't see how this statement can be made unless a person has intimate knowledge of that child's personal development into and throughout adulthood.

2nd bolded ... I interpreted prhoshay's statement differently. Seemed to me she was saying that if spanking worked, a child would only have to be spanked once, which is almost always not the case. So I figured she was saying spanking doesn't work.

3rd bolded ... A lot of adults try my patience and get on my very last nerve, too, but it isn't okay to hit them. We have to learn other assertive but nonviolent ways to deal with lack of patience and annoying/troubling behaviors, no matter who or how old the perpetrator is. Just because they're smaller and weaker doesn't make it okay ... in fact, it's worse. They can't defend themselves and can internalize that feeling of victimization and helplessness. Besides, I wouldn't want to teach a child that hitting is the way to deal with someone who tries your patience.

Well, darn........... didn't mean to offend you so much.

In response:
1. yes, I've known some from almost birth to mature age so I can attest to it but sometimes a generalization is used and understood.

2. That's what's great about communication: we can all interpret things differently and they can all be correct.

3. Apparently, you took my wording too literally. As I said, I never used corporal punishment on my children so I thought it would be understood that physical ways are not the only solution. For my kids, it worked. (My son would have been 40 this year ... died 5 yrs ago....and my daughter is 36.)
But as we all know, people say/do things with loved ones far more harshly and cruelly than with perfect strangers...for a lot of reasons that I won't go into.
Probably a very good idea to not deal harshly with people who try your patience since it can happen so often.

[Lucky22]

Well, darn........... didn't mean to offend you so much.In response:
1. yes, I've known some from almost birth to mature age so I can attest to it but sometimes a generalization is used and understood.

2. That's what's great about communication: we can all interpret things differently and they can all be correct.

3. Apparently, you took my wording too literally. As I said, I never used corporal punishment on my children so I thought it would be understood that physical ways are not the only solution. For my kids, it worked. (My son would have been 40 this year ... died 5 yrs ago....and my daughter is 36.)
But as we all know, people say/do things with loved ones far more harshly and cruelly than with perfect strangers...for a lot of reasons that I won't go into.
Probably a very good idea to not deal harshly with people who try your patience since it can happen so often.

I don't know why you think you offended me at all, not to mention "so much." When someone disagrees with you, it is not necessarily the result of being offended. I generally don't give people I know the power to offend me, no less a stranger on a discussion board.

I definitely agree.

[chenoa333]

I totally understand how you feel. I swing from liking her to not liking her. That's why I record it and then decide if I want to watch, depending on the subject. Usually I'm not interested in celebs and their life but some things (non-famous people) are very interesting and then some things drive me nuts.

Wow I thought I was the only person who had the mood swings about Oprah.
Sometimes like her and sometimes I definitely don't like her.
She does have interesting guests sometimes.

[Dragonlady]

I don't know why you think you offended me at all, not to mention "so much." When someone disagrees with you, it is not necessarily the result of being offended. I generally don't give people I know the power to offend me, no less a stranger on a discussion board.

I definitely agree.

Sorry.
So difficult to tell emotions with the written word.

[Imperfect1]

Sorry.
So difficult to tell emotions with the written word.

Thanks Dragonlady, for being so gracious. I think I understand a bit of how you felt because I too have felt that many posters have gotten offended by the opinions of others, so it was very kind of you to apologize, just in case that was how your comments were received. And you did it with a kind of gentle humor, which I doubly appreciated.

[Shoepie]

.....I swing from liking her to not liking her. That's why I record it and then decide if I want to watch, depending on the subject. Usually I'm not interested in celebs and their life but some things (non-famous people) are very interesting and then some things drive me nuts.

I agree and do the same. There have been long periods in my life when I didnt watch at all. I never saw her shows when she had the black woman who left her fold to go with Barbara Walters. I don't remember her name.

It made sense that she was not ready for her own show, expecially stating that Dr Phil did spots on her show for 2 years until he was ready. So why then does she think the two who won last night are ready for theirs.

I adore Zack and think he has potential to entertain, the cooking show is not one I would watch. I just dont think either are anywhere near ready. I suppose they will get a tremendous amount of help, but even then.

I understand why the ratings are low right now because the programing is far from in full swing. I do have hopes that it will improve. Out of the new line up the contest to get your own show and Miracle Detectives are the only ones I watch.

I have NO interest in her Master Class. Really? Why would anyone want to hear people who are successful in the media talk about how they got there. Maya Anjalou is someone who is like nails on a chalk board to me. She grew up in the projects and prounces poetry, pwatree. Where did that fake accent come from and why?!

[princessKIM]

I also fall into the category of not liking her sometimes.It started for me when she lost weight with that personal trainer (Bob Greene?) She made it sound so easy and all we had to do was get off our couch and excercise and we can be just like her!! As someone that's struggled with weight problems she really ticked me off.She had a personal trainer haul her out of bed and excercise with her every day and a personal chef to cook her low fat meals,etc.Normal people don't have that. She cannot compare herself to the average person yet she does all the time.The word that comes to mind when I hear her talk is "sanctimonious".

[Dragonlady]

Imperfect1, thank you soooo much for taking the time to say what you did. I really have no interest in having any discord with anyone here (or anywhere) but it's so hard to identify the emotions when it's just the written word. I really appreciate what you said.

Shoepie, I agree with you also about Zach and Christina and their new shows. There's a lot of work ahead for those shows to be good and although I have no interest in either of them, I can see that they are origninal ideas, the two of them are very likable and others will find them helpful and interesting. Given how other spin-offs of Oprah's have done so well, I'm sure they'll polish them up enough for them to suceed. But like they said, they'll need a lot of time and work before they're ready. I did think that they were both good choices for winners.

princessKIM, I completely relate to what you said. Sometimes Oprah is delightful and seems like someone you'd like to know and at other times, you feel she forgets what it's like to be just a regular person, without fame and money.

Another show on OWN that I watch is "Searching For." It deals with such strong human emotions and I usually end of weeping like a fool for these people. It's handled very well without being too corny or overly dramatic but it does tear at your heart. And there isn't always a "happily ever after," which means more tears for me.

[MaryEsq]

As a lawyer with cerebral palsy that resembles Zach's, I cheered with joy as he navigated with skill and humor through every round, then I cringed as Oprah gave voice to some some amorphous fear that Zach might not be strong enough to do the the job. Really? Based on what exactly, the fact that he that he had never been in the bottom two? She did not mention Kristina's staggering emotional insecurity and self-doubt as being a barrier to her career.

I hate the fact that Oprah gave her "corporate" blessing to such a discriminatory message while saying to his face, "We don't even see the wheelchair". I am calling the BS flag. There are those that will say, "But, Mary, Oprah surprised them and gave them both a show, no one knew she was going to do that." I believe that it was the predictable outcome regardless of who the finalists were. She has a lot of airtime to fill. Remember, I live in Zach's world. I am a Civil Rights Attorney, I graduated in the top 15% of my law class. I experience the same kind of assumptions when I search for a job. Your experience doesn't matter, your education doesn't matter and your skills don't matter. People see the disability and that is typically all they see, especially if they take pains to tell you otherwise.

[just1paul]

As a lawyer with cerebral palsy that resembles Zach's, I cheered with joy as he navigated with skill and humor through every round, then I cringed as Oprah gave voice to some some amorphous fear that Zach might not be strong enough to do the the job. Really? Based on what exactly, the fact that he that he had never been in the bottom two? She did not mention Kristina's staggering emotional insecurity and self-doubt as being a barrier to her career.

I hate the fact that Oprah gave her "corporate" blessing to such a discriminatory message while saying to his face, "We don't even see the wheelchair". I am calling the BS flag. There are those that will say, "But, Mary, Oprah surprised them and gave them both a show, no one knew she was going to do that." I believe that it was the predictable outcome regardless of who the finalists were. She has a lot of airtime to fill. Remember, I live in Zach's world. I am a Civil Rights Attorney, I graduated in the top 15% of my law class. I experience the same kind of assumptions when I search for a job. Your experience doesn't matter, your education doesn't matter and your skills don't matter. People see the disability and that is typically all they see, especially if they take pains to tell you otherwise.

I had the very same thoughts when this was happening. I'll take the BS flag and wave it, as I thought if you don't even SEE the wheelchair why mention it?