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Thread: Sister Wives

  1. #71
    FORT Fanatic Holly in SoCal's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields;4073814;
    As for the celestial marriage gig, I have to say that I adore my husband, but I only signed up for "Until death do us part." If there's a heaven, I fully expect to date Errol Flynn, Alexander the Great, and Albert Einstein. They are on top of my all time wish list. So, I guess I won't be leveling up after level 2.
    Thanks for the clarification on some of the Mormon doctrine Poppy....and you really crack me up with your date wish list! Thanks for the laugh!

  2. #72
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly in SoCal;4073833;
    Thanks for the clarification on some of the Mormon doctrine Poppy....and you really crack me up with your date wish list! Thanks for the laugh!
    I would add Alan Bates to my wish list! *sigh* Got me a thing for English men! But I digress....

    Still in all honesty, marriage is a sacred and beautful bond between 2 people who have love and respect for each other. Polygamy is just a way for a guy to get his and have it too. How can a woman truly feel cherished and special if she is wife #4? Or 10?
    Last edited by libgirl2; 09-30-2010 at 08:25 PM.
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  3. #73
    FORT Fanatic Holly in SoCal's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;4073845;
    Still in all honesty, marriage is a sacred and beautful bond between 2 people who have love and respect for each other. Polygamy is just a way for a guy to get his and have it too. How can a woman truly feel cherished and special if she is wife #4? Or 10?
    Amen to that!!

  4. #74
    FORT Fogey Duckyface's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by maude~flanders;4073636;
    lol! You are so right Libgirl2! I love how your posts are so often "the voice of reason".

    If it is a religious thing, the bible says to take care of widows and orphans. But, it doesn't mention sleeping with them!:nono

    I agree with all who have said that adults have the right to choose their lifestyle, as long as they are choosing it. BUT that is not the case in polygamy because the children are not being given the choice on whether they want to live in this environment and they are being indoctrinated into this belief system. The little girls are taught that they cannot get to heaven unless they get there through a husband and that their glory is to bear children. They are also taught that it is wrong to have normal human emotions, such as jealousy, when it comes to sharing their husband. As far as I am concerned, this is not a case of "live and let live". That is like saying it is fine for parents to raise their children to be suicide bombers. If you take a child and groom them for something that will ultimately hurt them, that is abuse in my book.
    Of course a woman can be "taken care of" by a man without being married to him, but she might rather be married than go without sex, children and depending on charity. I'm certainly not saying that was always the case, but in my research I read quite a few polygamist wives journals and when it came to being husbandless and depending on charity vs. having a husband with another wife, the woman"s choice was often to share a husband.

    In polygamist societies, the ones that I studied and that work well now or have worked well in the past, the current wife/wives have veto power over whether the husband marries again. They also seem to have in common that each wife has her own home, the man can only marry if he can support the woman and any children she might have and the man divides his time evenly among the women.

    I don't really see those things here, but then this polygamist "culture" is fairly new and hasn't had time to evolve the rules that seem to work best.

  5. #75
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Duckyface;4074411;
    Of course a woman can be "taken care of" by a man without being married to him, but she might rather be married than go without sex, children and depending on charity. I'm certainly not saying that was always the case, but in my research I read quite a few polygamist wives journals and when it came to being husbandless and depending on charity vs. having a husband with another wife, the woman"s choice was often to share a husband.

    In polygamist societies, the ones that I studied and that work well now or have worked well in the past, the current wife/wives have veto power over whether the husband marries again. They also seem to have in common that each wife has her own home, the man can only marry if he can support the woman and any children she might have and the man divides his time evenly among the women.

    I don't really see those things here, but then this polygamist "culture" is fairly new and hasn't had time to evolve the rules that seem to work best.
    I have read about the separate homes, the veto power but I have also read about these "rights" being denied/ ignored to some wives and sometimes the first wife has the nice home and the veto power the others the opposite....

    And I would rather live with out the sex and the children then share my man ;-)
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  6. #76
    FORT Fogey Duckyface's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;4074444;
    I have read about the separate homes, the veto power but I have also read about these "rights" being denied/ ignored to some wives and sometimes the first wife has the nice home and the veto power the others the opposite....

    And I would rather live with out the sex and the children then share my man ;-)
    I think I'd be with you, but missing out on children would be a really hard choice for me. At least these days we have more and easier choices

  7. #77
    signed, sealed, delivered maude~flanders's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;4074444;
    And I would rather live with out the sex and the children then share my man ;-)
    lol, same here! I think jealousy, when it comes to sharing my husband, is not a "lizard-like" emotion that I should try and get rid of. I think it's pretty normal and understandable!

    We all teach our children our standards, morals, and beliefs, but I think that teaching them to be law-breakers is abusive to them because it is setting them up for a life that is going to be difficult and possibly land them in jail. (I admit that the suicide-bomber comparison is a little drastic!)

    Although the people on this show are not in the same sect as Jeff Warren, they are living the same belief system with Celestial Marriage in the next life, therefore polygamy in this. The extreme groups are not going to be represented on television, it is going to be the cleaned-up version - the ones we may possibly accept. It is very smart on the polygamist's part. But, down at the core of this is a belief system that is against the law - and for good reason (in my opinion). A polygamous society is always going to eventually run into a problem of a shortage of women. The normal ratio for male to female humans is .9375 males to 1 female. That is pretty close! Certainly not enough for every man to have more than one wife without there becoming a shortage pretty quickly. That is why the polygamist societies end up getting rid of the teenage boys. The numbers just wouldn't work out if they kept them around. There are groups that exist just for the purpose of saving these poor boys from the side of the road, where they are dumped in the name of God.

    So, my strong objection to polygamy is because I see it as an illegal, harmful practice. I truly hope that this show does not help bring a better public opinion to this practice or change laws that stop it.

  8. #78
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Duckyface;4074494;
    I think I'd be with you, but missing out on children would be a really hard choice for me. At least these days we have more and easier choices
    True, even though one needs a man per say to conceive a child you don't need to have the man around. There are single woman adopting or using other methods to conceive that don't include relationship with a man. I am all for the traditional two parent family, but for kids in need, it is better to be adopted and loved then the possible horrors of foster care (though no in every case).

    I wonder if this show will last? Does anyone know how the ratings were?
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  9. #79
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by maude~flanders;4073636;
    lol! You are so right Libgirl2! I love how your posts are so often "the voice of reason".

    If it is a religious thing, the bible says to take care of widows and orphans. But, it doesn't mention sleeping with them!:nono

    I agree with all who have said that adults have the right to choose their lifestyle, as long as they are choosing it. BUT that is not the case in polygamy because the children are not being given the choice on whether they want to live in this environment and they are being indoctrinated into this belief system. The little girls are taught that they cannot get to heaven unless they get there through a husband and that their glory is to bear children. They are also taught that it is wrong to have normal human emotions, such as jealousy, when it comes to sharing their husband. As far as I am concerned, this is not a case of "live and let live". That is like saying it is fine for parents to raise their children to be suicide bombers. If you take a child and groom them for something that will ultimately hurt them, that is abuse in my book.
    Actually in the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible it does talk about the levirate, the tradition/requirement that if your brother dies and leaves a widow you should/must marry her (and take care of any children left behind) and support her--and presumably you would also have sex with her.

  10. #80
    FoRTer coltnlasma's Avatar
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    Re: Sister Wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Duckyface;4074411;
    In polygamist societies, the ones that I studied and that work well now or have worked well in the past, the current wife/wives have veto power over whether the husband marries again. They also seem to have in common that each wife has her own home, the man can only marry if he can support the woman and any children she might have and the man divides his time evenly among the women. I don't really see those things here, but then this polygamist "culture" is fairly new and hasn't had time to evolve the rules that seem to work best.
    I enjoyed your entire post (like a little cultural anthropology lesson ), and I wanted to comment particularly on this part because I did see some similarities in the show. I noticed that in this family, Wife#1 seems to have instigated the other relationships in every instance - they jokingly referred to her as "head of mergers and aquisitions". Also, they described a "rotating schedule" in which Kody's time was divided evenly every 3 days among the wives (which I'm guessing would switch to 4 with the new addition). And they did talk a bit about their housing, too... saying some families do live in separate homes, but they prefer living under one roof in separate apartments so the sister-wives are closer and the children are raised more as siblings instead of "cousins". But as far as providing for all the wives, Wife#2 did mention that they could not make it on one salary - but she also talked about how she much prefers her career to staying home with the children.

    I could not tolerate a "shared" relationship, but I realize it's part of their religion, and I do think all involved are trying very hard to do what they think is right and just within their belief system. Still, I can't help but think that these women must be really working hard to stay focused on what they see as positives in their lifestyle while they tamp down much of the negative emotions that rise up every so often. I don't know how they do it.
    Last edited by coltnlasma; 10-01-2010 at 10:02 PM.

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