Sister Wives

[RSTARMARGS]

I realize The Browns are not part of The FLDS. What I wanted to make clear is that banishment within the FLDS does happen frequently and is considered a major problem by legal authorities outside of the `community.'

The Browns ARE FLDS (Fundametalist Latter Day Saint)..he says it in the first episode. He says we are fundamentalist Mormons. Latter Day Saints is the short for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints or (Mormons). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormons are the mainstream LDS church which has nothing to do with FLDS like I've said before... they offshooted a long time ago.

There are many different sects of FLDS not all live in communities or follow the same "prophet".

[prhoshay]

You know, the problem with most religions is that they are created by men, making sure that they favor men. And the women just seem to, blindly, fall into lockstep. Maybe this used to be a survival necessity, but it sure isn't anymore.

[Starbucks880]

I watched part of the wedding episode yesterday and wanted to vomit. I don't know why I do this to myself

When Meri was helping Kody with his tie and he looked at her and said "Hi", I felt a really strong urge to track him down and slap him. He was attempting to be all lovey with her and go in for the kiss while she was helping him get ready to get married to someone else. I just don't think I'll ever understand how they live.

Kody wasn't raised in the faith and he really seems to me like someone who suddenly heard of this great offer where a man can have multiple wives who he can bed-hop between with their blessing and just said "sign me up".

I finally broke down and watched this and I have to say I agree that Kody is only in the religion because he thought it was so cool that he could have his harem and "court" whatever other woman strikes his fancy and none of the wives would kill him when they found out. I also have found that I can't stand Kody and want to beat him with a gulf club at times--from the way he acts, to kissing his girlfriend while his wife is giving birth, talking about impregnating his first wife right over his laboring wife's bed in the hospital, and all the other things he does.

I also don't trust Robyn, the fourth wife. She came off as very fake on camera--from the fake crying spells to the fake affection for the other women. I think she and Kody deserve each other. I also wonder what the father of her children thinks of her putting them in this situation and putting them on this show.

I predict that in a few years we will read an announcement that Meri is filing for divorce--her child will be out of the house, which takes away her reason to stay, and she will be on her way to being self-sufficient. I hope she gets the strength to do so. I bet number 2 will follow--not sure about number 3.

[mischief4911]

I was a bit shocked to read in earlier posts that teen aged boys aren't expelled from the FLDS church. Since 2005, there have been hundreds of documented cases of 16 year old boys being given as little as two hours notice to clear out of Colorado City or face dire consequences ( I don't know if people realize Colorado City has it's own polygamy run police dept which enforces the word of the prophet). The reason? They present competition to older men who are marrying multiple wives, dozens at a time, with many being young girls. Call it thinning the herd, these boys are exiled and even their mothers consider them `dead' to the family. In this interview from 2005, one young man describes his experience as one of the `lost boys' (which numbered over 400 in 2005).
Polygamy's 'Lost Boys' expelled from only life they knew - The Boston Globe

Thanks so much for the link Redsox girl. I do remember reading an article about this and I believe also one of the tv news magazine programs did a story on it as well, but it has been a few years if I remember correctly.

Inequality, women are property, greed, and if you want something just take it no matter who you have to step on to get it....warms my heart to see the loving teachings of these "Prophets" and leaders.....NOT

[RSTARMARGS]

I didn't realize those who chose this lifestyle attended regular LDS church. I bet they will be asked tlo leave.

Oh, for you Mormons who may know this please comment. If you are sealed to your spouse in the Mormon Temple, (I think there is one in D.C., Salt Lake and a few other places.) how can the men with multiple wives be sealed to their spouses. If the LDS know you have multiple wives, then they wouldn't let you get sealed, but what if you are not with the mainstream LDS church? Do they believe in being sealed too? Just curious.

These people aren't LDS (Mormons) or part of the mainstream LDS church. The FLDS or people who still practice polygamy separated from the mainstream LDS church 100 or so years ago when the LDS church decided to stop practicing polygamy. So the "Mormon" or LDS temples (Salt Lake City, D.C., and 128 more around the world) would never allow the Brown family or any other family practicing polygamy inside the door, let alone to be sealed. (I am a practicing active member of the LDS church) So Kody and Co. are FLDS and they have their own traditions and marriage ceremony. I am sure the ceremony is likely similar to ours, but they are not allowed in our temples as they are not active faithful members of our church. FLDS is a totally different church all together. Like protestants and Catholics as I've said before. Being a polygamist sort of makes it impossible for you to be in good standing in the mainstream LDS church. I don't think FLDS have their own temples except maybe that one on the crazy ranch in Texas where they have child brides. I don't think they have the funds or if they do that's not how they choose to spend them.

That was my big beef with Big Love when they showed our sacred temple ceremony and had the main polyg wife in the temple. That would never happen. She borrowed her mom's recommend (card that shows you are a worthy member of our church and allowed to enter the temple-very hard to get if you are not attending church regularly) to get in? But then her mom was in there with her? It makes no sense. There were so many plot holes that episode it wasn't even funny. Anyways, like I've said before who knows what rules these people follow. I sure don't.

[mindy384]

She borrowed her mom's recommend (card that shows you are a worthy member of our church and allowed to enter the temple-very hard to get if you are not attending church regularly) to get in? But then her mom was in there with her? It makes no sense. There were so many plot holes that episode it wasn't even funny. Anyways, like I've said before who knows what rules these people follow. I sure don't.

So if I wanted to attend a regular church service I would need a card?

Also, I always see these two teenage boys dressed nicely (they are so cute) riding their bikes around our town and going door-to-door. A neighbor said they are Jehovah's Witnesses (I don't know, I haven't been home). But, some of them say they are Mormons and seem to use the two words interchangeably--how does that happen?

One more: my husband has a friend from college who is a practicing Mormon and she is currently on her mission (?)...it requires that she spends a few years in another city spreading her religion (for lack of a better phrase)...is this common for both the LDS and FLDS?


I just want to say thanks again to JD and RSTAR because no matter how much info we pull on the 'net nothing compares to your first-hand insight! thanks again!

[J.D.]

I didn't realize those who chose this lifestyle attended regular LDS church. I bet they will be asked tlo leave.

Oh, for you Mormons who may know this please comment. If you are sealed to your spouse in the Mormon Temple, (I think there is one in D.C., Salt Lake and a few other places.) how can the men with multiple wives be sealed to their spouses. If the LDS know you have multiple wives, then they wouldn't let you get sealed, but what if you are not with the mainstream LDS church? Do they believe in being sealed too? Just curious.

No, they do not attend regular LDS church meetings. They are a completely different group of people - they are shunned by the mainstream mormons.

The only ones who can be sealed in the Mormon temples are "regular" and worthy LDS members. When I previously mentioned unrighteous dominion as it relates to the men of the church, this is specifically what I had in mind. Women are not allowed to hold the priesthood, but are considered "helpers." I think Kody's wives illustrate that perfectly. Kody is king, the wives are his property.

A husband and wife may be sealed to each other for time and all eternity in a temple. They may do this when they are first married, or may choose to do it at a later time. They may also have their children sealed to them.

If that couple gets a civil divorce, the man can remarry in the temple without a temple divorce. He remains sealed to both women. However, if a woman has only gotten a civil divorce, she has to take the steps to get a temple divorce before she can remarry in the temple. (She is, however, allowed a civil ceremony.) I don't like this practice, and would not participate in it. And that was part of the reason my most recent (2nd) marriage did not work. My husband at the time was already sealed to his first wife....and that was just a little too creepy for me.

I also have doubts about some of the rituals that take place in the Mormon temples, and refuse to engage in them as well.

I want to make it clear in this thread, however, that although I am stating facts as they have been taught to me (indoctrinated?), but my interpretations are strictly my own.

[J.D.]

JD, can you link us to the source for the "no season 2" news? Everything I can find says that it's "undecided," which I think is rather strange because TLC said this was a documentary. But they do have the audience for a seasonal series if they choose to sign the Browns up for one, and TLC is certainly aware of this. I am very curious about this announcement.

I don't have a link to this info. Our local radio news has a segment on weekly tv, and the guy who does that segment said it. Sometimes he's ahead of the announcements.....but I believe there is enough curiousity and talk about the show that it will be picked up again. Besides, the kids don't have their crooked houses and trips to Disneyland yet.

Mindy, anyone is welcome to regular Sunday church services. I've never known of anyone who has been asked to leave services.

It's only when going to the temple that you must have a card. You have to have several interviews with the bishop and the stake president and strictly follow the word before going to the temple. (So when a young couple decides to get married [sealed] in the temple, unless the guests are temple card-carrying and worthy, they are not allowed to attend. Some young couples are now choosing to hold civil ceremonies for friends and families, and then be sealed in the temple at another time.

Mormons are NOT associated in any way with Jehovah's Witnesses. Young Mormon boys are urged to complete a church mission. They usually leave when they are 19, and serve an 18-month mission in the field. (It used to be a 2-year stint, but has recently been cut.) Young Mormon ladies don't get as much pressure to go on missions. (Of course....they are either supposed to be married already, or at the very least have a boyfriend on a mission whom they declare to wait for patiently.) Young ladies are usually encouraged to wait until they are 25 or so before being urged to go. It's VERY common in the LDS community, but I don't think the FLDS members participate in that....if someone knows otherwise, please correct me.

Some older (retired) couples also choose to serve missions, and are usually put in the higher-up positions in the field (i.e., advisors and such).

From what I understand (I love my ex-polygog friend....she knows the scoop about most of this since she is living in our world, but is also close to her family - and I find her fair and balanced), Meri worked for the city and/or county. I was told TLC took the camera crew and all that goes with them to her place of business, and was fired for that. And I agree, that was highly inapropriate. Most people don't want to be associated with that lifestyle, especially local government.

Starbucks880, I agree with you about how the marriage with Robyn won't be long term. However, I don't think she'll be the first to go. I think Meri has had her fill.

From what I've seen of Robyn, I think she saw this marriage as a way out of her previous lifestyle. The Browns live in a nice area, appear to have money, and round-the-clock babysitters. I also think it's not turning out the way she thought it would. Time will tell, I suppose.

Also, Poppy, the Brown family are not the same as the Jeffs family. Warren Jeffs was the "prophet" of his own clan....they are the ones who married off the young girls. The Browns are not part of that group.

RSTARMARGS, I hope you haven't found my posts condescending or rude. Although I am presenting the facts as I know them, I am obviously also editorializing - and showing my own slant on the religion. I'm glad for you that the church is a positive in your life, as it is in many others'. It just doesn't work for me. I hope that our differing views will shed some light on Mormonism generally, and on the Browns in particular.

I'm sorry if my info is redundant....and that this is such a long post. I'll gladly answer any questions....feel free to act, or even PM me. It's an interesting and confusing topic....yet we in Utah see it as practically "normal".

[Imperfect1]

I'm fascinated by the Brown family and hope there IS a second season. I constantly vacilate between enjoying the family interaction and being grossed out by it --- the one constant for me is that I actually hurt for the other wives when Kody is being loving and affectionate to one of them -- especially with the others looking on. That HAS to hurt!

So good or bad, I know for sure that I'd like to see more.

PS Thanks to all of you who are enlightening us with inside information about the different ways of life in the Morman lifestyle(s).

[RSTARMARGS]

So if I wanted to attend a regular church service I would need a card?

Also, I always see these two teenage boys dressed nicely (they are so cute) riding their bikes around our town and going door-to-door. A neighbor said they are Jehovah's Witnesses (I don't know, I haven't been home). But, some of them say they are Mormons and seem to use the two words interchangeably--how does that happen?

One more: my husband has a friend from college who is a practicing Mormon and she is currently on her mission (?)...it requires that she spends a few years in another city spreading her religion (for lack of a better phrase)...is this common for both the LDS and FLDS?


I just want to say thanks again to JD and RSTAR because no matter how much info we pull on the 'net nothing compares to your first-hand insight! thanks again!

Mindy, J.D. answered it for you I think pretty right on. Those boys you see are probably Mormon missionaries. And you're husband's friend is on hers too. Like J.D. said girls aren't encouraged to go as much as boys are. And I think she's right about that they either have boyfriends who are on missions or should be married. lol. The thing is they used to really advocate girls going as well. (BOth my older sisters went and both are unmarried now in their forties.) I don't think this happens to every girl but I think the church was trying to not advocate it so much because some these girls were kind of missing the boat on getting married after they had served a mission. (Since most people in our church get married pretty young - in their young 20s and girls are not allowed to serve a church mission until they are 21.) For that very reason I chose not to serve a mission. I was married when I was 23.

However, J.D. I'm pretty sure boys still serve 2 years. And girls only serve 18 months. But it has always been that length of time for both.

To give you my two cents as well, no you do not need a card to come to just regular sunday services. Anyone who is interested is welcome to attend. The temple is the only place that attendance is restriced to those members who have chosen to enter the temple, usually when they plan on serving a mission for boys, or when a girl is getting married or going on a mission. Or if a boy or girl has not served a mission they are welcome to attend the temple usually around age 23, but that is in no way set in stone. I know people who have chosen and been allowed to go before or later than that. And the temple is where we make personal covenants with God and perform other sacred ceremonies like marriage sealings, family sealings, baptisms for the dead, etc. Anyways, I hope that helps. If you have more questions or if anything I say is ever confusing, feel free to ask. Or like I said there's lots of info on Mormon.org.

J.D. you're great! While yes, you do editorialize your posts always seem to have the facts right on for the most part! So no you don't offend me at all. I love these discussions and I think all viewpoints and experiences are welcome. I like hearing your feelings about it. And you are often much more eloquent than me, so keep it up. haha