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Originally Posted by AZChristian;4087143;
Good points. I agree. I haven't seen every episode, but from I have seen, it appears that Kody is quite immature. Is he trying to act that way or is he really like that? I don't know. I think as his wife, it would be frustrating to me.
I can't remember which wife made the statement in reference to Robin but it was something about Kody being such a nice guy - "he deserves a trophy wife." Sorry Kody wives, but I do NOT consider Robin to be anything other than an average looking 30 year old. She's not attractive, nor is she unattractive but to call her a "trophy'? Far from it. She's definitely NOT a 10 - maybe a Utah 7? :)
From reading the posts here, it sounds to me like RSTARMARGS is an active Mormon (please correct my if I am wrong), while I am not. She and I are likely to have differing opinions about what we see happening on this show and in other general matters. Some I agree with, others I don't, but I still respect her right to state those opinions. But that's what this place is all about, right?
The Mormons who came to Utah originally were polygamists. They continued the practice until they applied for statehood and were told as long as polygamy was practiced here, they would not be allowed statehood. That's when the "revelation" came from the "prophet" that polygamy was frowned upon, then made illegal. There are many what I call shady practices, most of which benefit the men. (No, I'm not a man-hater...the Mormon religion is very patriarchal - to the point of unrighteous dominion, which is now, not surprisingly, frowned upon.)
The story is the same as when blacks were finally allowed to join the priesthood (which boys are allowed to join at about age 12 - it's more of a title with limited privileges than anything else, and there are two types of priesthood). Going from memory, the "revelation" came down that blacks should be allowed the higher priesthood, which allowed them to participate in temple ceremonies in about 1977 or 1978. This particular "revelation" was one of the reasons it was so easy for me to turn my back on the church. Since when does God bow to peer/social pressure?
Obviously this show is more about the dynamics of the family than about the religion, but I think some sort of background helps us to understand what is behind the decisions. I'm convinced Kody went about contracting for this show on his own, with disregard to any opinions of others, including his "wives". He showed that type of behavior with the wedding dress incident, among other things. I think he's going to be in for an awakening shortly. I can't imagine any employer wanting this sideshow as part of their legitimate business. But I've been wrong before....so who knows. And maybe the freebies TLC seems anxious to share will make up for it.
I didn't know Kody was a convert to the church. That is a red flag to me....what were his motivations? His motivations in general seem skewed, actually. I picture each of the wives leaving eventually as they age and he replaces them with younger ones - it's pretty apparent Meri has had enough. So maybe she will go and Robyn can have her room. Or they will all shift up one level. Who knows how that stuff works. Yikes.
As far as the tradition of godparents goes, that is not a Mormon tradition. Of all the Mormons I know, none have godparents. I don't know the reason(s) for this, just that it is.
Of course this show is talked about at length here, and I was listening to a local radio station where people were calling in saying they don't like or watch this show because they find Big Love more accurate. Go figure.
Also, I believe Mormon/Utah women are graded on the same 1 - 10 scale other women, if you choose to grade women that way.
J.D. - what is that?Quote:
Originally Posted by J.D.;4087523;
I agree that to understand their religion is to understand their mindset, worldview, and motivation.
J.D. I totally respect your right to voice opinions and "facts" as you see them to be relevant. I'm sure you have your reasons for having left the church and I know many people who have. My sister has left the church and is gay, has a partner and just had a baby. And I still love her and talk to her and we have had many discussions about the church/it's teachings/God. Leaving isn't the path I have chosen. I AM an active Mormon. I do agree with you that yes they were polygamists before they came, however the practice took off more after they had arrived in Utah that's all I meant to say.I do have to disagree with you about the "shady" practices. I can't think of any off the top of my head I guess. I know the men are only allowed the priesthood in our religion. But personally I value that. I feel that men and women have different roles and while they are different they are equally important to the success of raising children and the success of the marriage. I do think sometimes people take unrighteous dominion (which is when the man uses his priesthood wrongly by telling his wife/children what to do or lording over them in a way--someone had asked what that is.) over their loved ones which is very sad. But I'm pretty sure that was ALWAYS frowned upon as it isn't consistent with Christs teachings to love, forgive and to be meek and humble at heart. However, in saying that I think people aren't perfect and for those men that do that they will held accountable just like everyone else. So people make mistakes but I still feel that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect and that is what I believe in.I think it depends on your experience in the church and those people around you. I don't really want to get into a debate about what is wrong with my church. Just to tell you a little about me so you know where I'm coming from, there was a time when I wasn't as devout a member. I wasn't raised in Utah and I think the culture here is a little weird. I was born in Northern California and I went to probably the most liberal high school on the planet. Most of my friends where Protestant, Jewish or atheist or whatever else. I had gay friends, straight friends, bi friends, etc.I find many people here in Utah less devout than where I grew up while still calling themselves active. And there are things I question sometimes, but I think that is human nature. The hard part is accepting that maybe we don't know everything right now. I guess I choose to stay with our church because I believe in it's teachings and following them has not only made me a better person but more happy and fulfilled than when I was not following them. In fact I cannot think of a darker time in my life than those years when I went astray. My kids are kinder and my husband is a better man as well.So I can appreciate that on the outside things about our religion seem weird or sexist or whatever, but I personally am not bothered by those aspects of our religion. I feel I have a very important role that is well understood by the men around me and well respected. And like I said I am not some Utah raised sheltered person. I have seen the world and made my choice. As far as Kody goes, who knows what he acts like behind closed doors. I have found him to be fairly sweet to all his wives individually. I think in the last episode he was definitely caught between a rock and a hard place sitting on that couch. It's like sitting there with your wife and your mistress and trying to make them both happy...not gonna happen. But he is definitely way too happy all the time, like a valley girl running around with his floppy hair. What said to me though that he really does love Meri a lot is that he really wanted to have another with her and I was surprised to see him act like it was the end of the world that they couldn't just like she was his only wife, not like he had 13 kids already. To be honest I think there must be some love there. Marriages of any kind don't last 16+ years if there isn't. I also agree that Robyn is nothing special. She is certainly thin and maybe that's why the other wives think she is a trophy? J.D. I also really found fascinating your "friends" commentary on her relatives. I think in Utah we get really fascinated with all the polygamists here and wonder how many there actually are around. Because there are the "normal" ones and then the prairie skirt ones and I know when I see those ones at Wal mart my husband usually has to drag me away from staring sadly.Quote:
Originally Posted by J.D.;4087523;
Do any of you watch Big Love on HBO?
RSTARMAGS, I wasn't judging you or putting you down by assuming you are an active Mormon, I was simply trying to explain why you and I may have different opinions.
I'm not here to put down your religion, I'm here to give my opinions as to what I see happening on this particular tv show, and to try to explain, in my own words, based on my experience, why those things happen. Personally, I've never seen the FLDS prairie skirt group. They are a "horse of a different color" than the polygamists who live among us.
And yes, the more I see of Kody, the weirder he seems. I'm surprised he was able to get one wife, let alone four. My heart breaks for Meri. It seems all she wants is a normal family and a husband who loves her. She seems to be desperately trying to please him. I hope she finds happiness, whether it be with polygamy or otherwise.
I've said all I'm going to say about my "friend" for now. I told her story as she told it to me. She has talked about her experiences openly and for a very long time. She's not bitter, she accepts her family's rights to their own beliefs and lifestyle, but chooses to live differently. That should be the end of that, I believe.
To answer your question, Debb, I have never seen Big Love.
I have watched it since the beginning. There are a few parallels with Sister Wives, don't you think? Especially megalomania vis a vis Bill and Kody, :lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Debb70;4087988;
"Trophy wife" is really a perjorative term, describing a woman who is beautiful, admirable, youthful, and brings status to her (much) older husband. I don't think Robyn fits that definition, at al
I've only watched a couple of episodes she my impressions may be off base, but I get the feeling brining in Robin could be a huge mistake.
Bringing in her specificially, not simply bringing in another "wife".
I think Kody's disgusting. He's like a little kid who suddenly had all his birthday's come at once. I get the sense that Robin will upset the balance of a family that seems to have worked reasonaly well so far.