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Thread: Hoarding: Buried Alive

  1. #51
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;3919928;
    It has to be hard beginning a relationship with someone and then seeing that. In the back of my mind I would be thinking that if this goes serious and we marry this will be a constant struggle and would I want to live with this?

    You are right. It's a big commitment and if you are not VERY much in love, it is probably not going to work out. Even if you do love that person, it still might not. This condition breaks apart married couples, children from parents, etc. I can easily see why one would not want to marry someone with the condition.

  2. #52
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;3920155;
    You are right. It's a big commitment and if you are not VERY much in love, it is probably not going to work out. Even if you do love that person, it still might not. This condition breaks apart married couples, children from parents, etc. I can easily see why one would not want to marry someone with the condition.
    And the fear that you will have to be on top of that person to prevent that behavior.
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  3. #53
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    I caught the marathon yesterday and saw maybe a half dozen shows. Based on what I saw and read here it seems that there are two problems: hoarder and squalor. I can understand the hoarding problem as an OCD manifestation and it seems that the articles linked to also explain the motivation behind hoarding. It's the squalor in some of these homes that was making my skin crawl. I don't know much about this topic but that seems to be a different mental health problem. The one house where the woman had been keeping her used adult dirty diapers and tying herself to a chair so she could sleep without falling into the detritus really affected me. I can only imagine how alone and powerless that woman felt, or can the OCD become so severe that hoarding dirty diapers up in your home seems a rational behavior?

    I'd have to be pretty desperate for a job, get more compassion, or be paid a whole lotta money to be one of the cleaners sent to these homes.

  4. #54
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    From what I have seen, the hoarding is accompanied by the squalor. Perhaps they have freatured some that are not as unclean as others, but I think they all have loads of dirt and dust. Also, there is no way to clean the house when there is so much stuff there, so I think all of them are VERY unclean.

    It seems as if many do not want to depart with anything, including used tissues, spoiled food and rotten produce.

    Did you see the one show about the woman who seemed to hoard mainly food. Her fridge was so full, that she had it taped shut and stuff was running out of it and even the frozen stuff was black and blue with mold. She still argued that she could scrap off the black stuff and eat the rest! Even when they described to her how many dangerous bacteria and molds she was eating, she didnt care. She could not bare to part with the rotten food. She claimed it was wasting money to throw it out. There are 2 different hoarding shows. I'm not sure which one she was on, but I grew sick to my stomach watching that one.

    I think that when you see people who are an emotional wreck because they have to part with dirty adult diapers or rotten fruit, it becomes very clear just how ill they must be.

    Did anyone see the HBO movie Grey Gardens starring Drew Barrymore? It was based on the true story of mother and daughter, Kennedy relatives who lived for years in a hoarding and squalor situation? It gave some great insight into the lives of these people. They actually had racoons living in one of their bedrooms! Great movie.

  5. #55
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;3920384;
    Did anyone see the HBO movie Grey Gardens starring Drew Barrymore? It was based on the true story of mother and daughter, Kennedy relatives who lived for years in a hoarding and squalor situation? It gave some great insight into the lives of these people. They actually had racoons living in one of their bedrooms! Great movie.
    That is an excellent movie. After the mother died, the daughter, Little Edie moved, had a nice little apartment and swam everyday up until the day she died.
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  6. #56
    FORT Fogey Brandy's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;3920384;
    Did anyone see the HBO movie Grey Gardens starring Drew Barrymore?
    Yes, and I have the Criterion dvd of the documentary it sprang from. Both are worth seeing. Edith and Edie - very staunch women. I don't know if they were hoarders so much as frozen in time? A doctor would have to say. And, they also just had zero funds. (I even have the soundtrack from the Broadway show - the story behind how they ended up that way is explored there and it's a heartbreaking history.)

    It seems like a lot of the hoarders have a very sad backstory themselves. I wish these shows would go into that more. Sometimes the entire focus is on the grotesquery, and it seems to do the viewer and subject short shrift. In the Hoarding series, the producers overall seem more sympathetic than some other channels' version. One thing that strikes me is how very intelligent most of the hoarders really are. They are just 'stuck.' "Stuck" is a word many people with OCD use, and I really, really think hoarding is always a related disorder.

    As for the blond and the handsome hoarder, all I can say is the show wasn't very truthful in their editing, or she wasn't truthful in her interview. I did read the entire board over there before posting here, so I apologise for missing that update.

  7. #57
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    I'm sure much happens to a person as they develop into a hoarder. It's not surprising that you would be one if you grew up with parents who were that way.

    I wonder if the hoarders every watch other people as they discard trash. Do they ever watch tv shows or read articles about how you let you. I know that when I am housecleaning, I often ask myself questions I have heard or read about organization. For example, if I am decluttering a closet and I run across a nice jacket my mom gave me 3 years ago, but I have not worn in 2 years. I ask myself, am I likely to wear it again, as it's not very fashionable now, then I say to myself, it's okay to let that go to the Good Will bag. It dosen't mean I don't love my mother. I don't expect other people to keep gifts I give them forever, so they should not expect me to do it either.

    Another example would be when the hoarder is resisting letting go of some trivial item such as a cardboard box, why not teach them how to have an internal dialogue with themself in which they can justify tossing it. Like, if you need a cardboard box, next year say to wrap a gift in, you can also go and get one for less than a dollar or you can use a gift bag. The point is to verbally explain how keeping the trivial item causes more harm than it is worth. I don't see them do enough of that. That should be done in sessions, long before the trucks arrive IMO.

  8. #58
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Another case here in the Chicago area. She was 3 feet from the ceiling..... how high the piles were!

    Woman found dead in garbage-filled Skokie home :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  9. #59
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;3993263;
    Another case here in the Chicago area. She was 3 feet from the ceiling..... how high the piles were!

    Woman found dead in garbage-filled Skokie home :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State
    OMG. This is just horrible! Her daughter heard her mother's screams but was unable to help her due to the debris blocking all the entrances into the house! This is just heartbreaking. This would have been a good case to seek guardianship over the relative in order to force them out of the house or forcefully remove the debris. If someone resist help, what else can you do?

  10. #60
    FORT Fogey Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion nanarama's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    It's baaaaaaaack! I wonder if anyone saw Wednesday night's show. I was a little unnerved by the ending where the woman (former flight attendant) was on the brink of losing everything - and perhaps ending up in in-patient treatment. It was such a sad ending. Most of these shows end up with everything neatly resolved and the people overcoming. I fear that last night's scenario is a more likely conclusion in real life.
    I've always said that the good thing about this show is that it helps me keep my packrat tendencies in check - I clean out a closet each time I watch (!) - but this brought to the forefront how devastating this illness really is.

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