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Thread: Hoarding: Buried Alive

  1. #31
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by swissmiss150;3910786;
    If anyone ever comes to this board again, I just read an excellent new book called "Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things" by Randy O. Frost and Gail Strekette, which explains how some hoarders think about their hoarding.

    They cited the case of one woman who suffered from a very rigid sense of responsibility and severe perfectionism. She couldn't tolerate mistakes and almost always chose inactivity over the possibility of doing somethng less than perfectly.

    They also found that sometimes taking photos of the mess and then showing them to the person had a startling effect. Sometimes the subject didn't even recognize it as THEIR mess. They were so used to living in a mess that they didn't 'see' it the way others did.

    If you want tips on organizing, this book won't help, but I found it very insightful in explaining how hoarders think.
    Thanks, it sounds interesting. I'm going to have to look for it.
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  2. #32
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    I have seen quite a few of these shows and have seen other specials about the topic. (Dr. Phil and Oprah have also focused on it.) My question is why do experts seem to pretend to know the best way to treat this condition? The experts seem to have very definite opinions on what you should or should not do to help the hoarder. This surprises me as the treatment seems to be very tedious and appears to provide little if any impact on the subject beting treated. The resutls are mimimal and the long term outcome even less promising. Taking this into consideration, why are the experts so confident in their treatment plan?

    I would think that they need to explore other methods of treatment. I don't think there seems to be enough success stories to put their eggs into this one basket of treatment so to speak.

    Perhaps there are many success stories that are not revealed, but I don't think so. I'm just tired of watching them say, this works and this doesn't and then you watch and it seems that what they say works, doesn't either.

    I'd like to see some different theories of treatment. What harm could there be?

  3. #33
    Rumbelle - so many feels Little Sew&Sew's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Our news is going to do a story tonight on a local woman who is a hoarder. The snippet they played in the previews has her saying "it's nobody elses business how I choose to live my life" and then it goes on to say that her entire family no longer wants anything to do with her.

    Leaves a lot up to the imagination as to what angle the newspeople are working from at this point.
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  4. #34
    FORT Fogey Brandy's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;3910823;
    My question is why do experts seem to pretend to know the best way to treat this condition?
    My guess would be one of two reasons. 1. Their jobs depend upon other people's perception that they are an expert and can help. 2. They believe in their theory and its success.

    I'm just tired of watching them say, this works and this doesn't and then you watch and it seems that what they say works, doesn't either.

    I'd like to see some different theories of treatment. What harm could there be?
    No harm in it, but it does seem most of them specialise in a specific form of therapy. Therapists/shrinks in general seem to believe in one form over the other: Jungian, Freudian, Cognitive Behavioral, etc. Maybe it's a necessity since even one specialty takes years of school. Maybe it's the way schools demand things to be. A given school may emphasize one way as superior to others, or offer more classes in that method. In fact that's how it's seemed at any university I've heard about, visited, studied in etc. I think it's similar to the way they encourage doctors to specialise. You don't usually see someone studying podiatry and dermatology to the same depth.

    As for hoarding itself, it's a form of OCD, and OCD is notoriously difficult to treat. The people who have it are often highly intelligent, resourceful and determined - the illness uses those very traits against them. Just try talking someone who has OCD out of their obsession or compulsion. They have ten more arguments as to why it's crucial.

    I feel a great deal of compassion and sometimes pity for anyone who has this illness or their loved ones.

  5. #35
    FORT Fogey Gala62's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Sew&Sew;3911674;
    Our news is going to do a story tonight on a local woman who is a hoarder. The snippet they played in the previews has her saying "it's nobody elses business how I choose to live my life" and then it goes on to say that her entire family no longer wants anything to do with her.

    Leaves a lot up to the imagination as to what angle the newspeople are working from at this point.
    Up to a point, I agree with the idea that it's your life/home and you should be allowed to do what you want. UNLESS children or pets are involved. Innocent bystanders need to be protected from the filth and poor living conditions that many hoarders create. So people who hoard must accept responsibility and intervention if they are endangering others.
    There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. A. Schweitzer

  6. #36
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    How timely that this happened in my area:

    Couple found buried under mounds of trash - chicagotribune.com
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  7. #37
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by libgirl2;3912602;
    How timely that this happened in my area:

    Couple found buried under mounds of trash - chicagotribune.com
    OMG. This is just terrible. Can you imagine? These old people were so overcome with their hoarding that they were literally incapacitated! They could have died.

    I can see how families may want to intervene and file to have the family member declared incompetent to make decisions about their health, safety, welfare and finances. Once that is done, the appointed guardian can step and intervene.

    I know it's against the experts advice, but when you have loved ones who are endangering their life, you have to take over. They could then get them medical care and place them in a clean and safe environment. I would clean the house and limit the money they have to purchase more junk. If they have no money to purchase more stuff and no transportaton to go get more stuff, then it can't come into the house anymore. They may not like it, but it would save them from dying under a mound of trash.

    I would do the above before I would just walk away and allow my parents to live that way and die.

  8. #38
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;3912727;
    OMG. This is just terrible. Can you imagine? These old people were so overcome with their hoarding that they were literally incapacitated! They could have died.

    I can see how families may want to intervene and file to have the family member declared incompetent to make decisions about their health, safety, welfare and finances. Once that is done, the appointed guardian can step and intervene.

    I know it's against the experts advice, but when you have loved ones who are endangering their life, you have to take over. They could then get them medical care and place them in a clean and safe environment. I would clean the house and limit the money they have to purchase more junk. If they have no money to purchase more stuff and no transportaton to go get more stuff, then it can't come into the house anymore. They may not like it, but it would save them from dying under a mound of trash.

    I would do the above before I would just walk away and allow my parents to live that way and die.
    I know it is terrible. Most of the area thought the house was abandoned. They did have a nieghbor who had taken pictures and complained to the city, but nothing was done.
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

  9. #39
    Rumbelle - so many feels Little Sew&Sew's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Another local story: Explosive gas levels detected | WAVY.com | Norfolk, Va.

    The story I posted about earlier was a sad (but typical) story of loss of a loved one, followed by increased hoarding. The homeowner admitted that she had her daughter help her clean up twice AND the city come in as well. Each time, she cluttered it back up again.
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  10. #40
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Hoarding: Buried Alive

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Sew&Sew;3915212;
    Another local story: Explosive gas levels detected | WAVY.com | Norfolk, Va.

    The story I posted about earlier was a sad (but typical) story of loss of a loved one, followed by increased hoarding. The homeowner admitted that she had her daughter help her clean up twice AND the city come in as well. Each time, she cluttered it back up again.

    OMG again! There were so many rats in the hoarders house, that they were afraid the would scatter in the cleanup and take cover in adjacent houses! Now that would make me furious if I was a neighbor. Rats carry disease and destroy property. I would probably move away if I lived someone like that.

    If I was the hoarders family member, I would file to be appointed the person's guardian. That way you make the decisions of health care and fianances. The hoarder would then have no access to their bank accounts or income. If they don't have the money, they cannot buy more stuff. Therefore they can't load the place back up with stuff.

    Also, as the guardian, you decide what is cleared from the house. You do it when they are gone and they have no choice but to accept it. I would also get them counseling.

    As I see it, the expert opinion says the family should not control the clean up of the house, because the hoarder will always accumalate more stuff later. However, the remedy for that is to prevent the hoarder from obtaining more stuff and you can do that if you have control over their finances and affairs.

    I know it seems harsh, but if you have parents who are dying in trash heaps with rats running everywhere, you have to intervene for their own safety and welfare. I wish some of the experts would look into the option I have described and see what if any effect it has on the hoarder, both short and long term.

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