+ Reply to Thread
Page 47 of 63 FirstFirst ... 373839404142434445464748495051525354555657 ... LastLast
Results 461 to 470 of 623
Like Tree78Likes

Thread: Hoarders (A&E)

  1. #461
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Pasadena, CA
    Posts
    3,912

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    I watch these shows also. Sometimes they really get to me and I can't watch the whole thing.
    It's really so sad when you find out what happened that sort of turned this mindset on...usually a death of a child, or like the woman with all the storage units, had parents who never loved/wanted her. Then there was that fancy old lady in Florida. Seeing those pictures of her in the past, in a bathing suit, looking gorgeous and then end up living in filth. Not sure they ever explained why she was like that now but, gosh, even as an older woman, she still looked great. Funny how doing her hair, putting on makeup was important but cleaning was not.

  2. #462
    8/2/64 until forever! AZChristian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    3,543

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70 View Post
    IMO to keep begging for change and it never happening, seems like enabling to me. I guess there's a fine line there.
    When I watch the therapists stand there and allow a hoarder to go through every piece of accumulated stuff and make (usually bad) decisions as to whether it needs to be kept, that almost feels like enabling, too. They try to steer them towards better decisions, but sometimes you want to scream at the TV, "send these people to Disneyland for a couple of days and let people with some sense clean that mess up."

    Patience is NOT one of my strong points.
    jeaninelaurie and Debb70 like this.

  3. #463
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    In the blue TV screen light
    Posts
    2,700

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    I think the agony depicted in these shows is a huge part of the story from the producers' viewpoint. They want us to see all the weeping, the anger, and the feuding. I definitely think that having hoarders declared incompetent is always on the table, that the option to do this is nothing new. But I doubt they'd be filming in those circumstances. Showing the bizarre nature of the illness is way more important to them than helping the hoarders deal with it effectively, or overcome it.

    I do think it would be better for the hoarder to be in treatment, and to have other people responsible for making their decisions! I also think that a lot of viewers would watch if a cleanup could be accomplished in one show. I can't watch these shows, because the ick factor makes me ill. But I think I'm in the minority.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  4. #464
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    10,191

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    No, it makes me ill too, especially when I see a child living in a house with mold falling from the ceiling, feces on the floor and rotton food in the fridge. It makes me sick, sad and angry for the poor little child.

    I have responses that I think could make a difference, but I have never seen anyone say it to any of the hoarders. I wonder why.

    When the hoarder is saying that a broken jelly jar may be worth some money, so they can't part with it, then why don't they actually prove them wrong. Put the hoarder in the car and volunteer to drive them to the place that is going to give them money for that item. When they can't find anyone to buy it, then they will admit they are wrong about all the junk being worth money. And then do it with the second item, and so forth. Prove to them that no one is going to give them money for the junk. AND if someone does give them 25 cents or something, explain that the amount of value is not enough to pay for a cab to take it to the person who will give them a few cents for the junk.

    The hoarder has these imaginary dollar signs in their head. If they could shake it out, maybe it would help a little bit. Just an idea.
    fireflyer and AZChristian like this.

  5. #465
    FORT Fanatic
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    798

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70 View Post

    I have responses that I think could make a difference, but I have never seen anyone say it to any of the hoarders. I wonder why.

    When the hoarder is saying that a broken jelly jar may be worth some money, so they can't part with it, then why don't they actually prove them wrong. Put the hoarder in the car and volunteer to drive them to the place that is going to give them money for that item. When they can't find anyone to buy it, then they will admit they are wrong about all the junk being worth money. And then do it with the second item, and so forth. Prove to them that no one is going to give them money for the junk. AND if someone does give them 25 cents or something, explain that the amount of value is not enough to pay for a cab to take it to the person who will give them a few cents for the junk.

    The hoarder has these imaginary dollar signs in their head. If they could shake it out, maybe it would help a little bit. Just an idea.
    I agree that you want to have the hoarders sell their items, (I'd like to see them challenged to eat or wear them.), but even if someone wanted to buy their garbage, the issue for hoarders is letting go and they will change their minds...the buyer is not worthy of owning it. They won't love it the same way.

    Hoarders can't let go. I teach kindergarten and I had a student whose parents divorced and their house was sold. The child had a very strong attachment to the old house. I hadn't noticed sooner, but during a class trip she refused to throw out a banana peel and a yogurt container and said she was saving it for her daddy. I had an emergency meeting regarding this behavior, mainly because the child started to cry at the thought of throwing out her garbage. Luckily both parents took my conversation with them seriously and worked on this. But I can see how that behavior unchecked could lead to a hoarding situation. (and this happened before I had ever seen an episode, it made me grateful I said something.)

    Hoarding has to do with a profound sense of loss (or lacking)
    Allie and Debb70 like this.

  6. #466
    Kip
    Kip is offline
    FORT Fogey Spider Solitaire Arkadium Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion, Sky Blocks Champion
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    1,643

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    Quote Originally Posted by AZChristian View Post
    When I watch the therapists stand there and allow a hoarder to go through every piece of accumulated stuff and make (usually bad) decisions as to whether it needs to be kept, that almost feels like enabling, too. They try to steer them towards better decisions, but sometimes you want to scream at the TV, "send these people to Disneyland for a couple of days and let people with some sense clean that mess up."

    Patience is NOT one of my strong points.
    Those are my feelings as well. I know the therapists say that throwing away their stuff without their permission can lead to even greater hoarding, but it doesn't look like that therapy is producing a lot of success. I know, for me, it's often difficult to throw (or give) something away, but once it's gone, I don't miss it.

    I would think it would be easier for a hoarder to start in a clean environment and start some cognitive therapy to help train them in new thought patterns.
    AZChristian and Debb70 like this.

  7. #467
    FORT Fogey PA Snow Bunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,965

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    It is difficult to get an older person to change their habits. My Mom is a haorder but not to the extent of what is seen on these shows. There isn't any clutter on her floors at all & no garbage at all. Also no pets...Mom thinks animals are dirty.
    Her hoard is stored away in cabinets & closets. She saves used foil, used baggies, cool whip & margerine tubs even ones that are cracked. She tapes them up & reuses them. Mom has got to have at least 10 sets of different plates, silverware, glasses...you name it she probably has dozens of them. The good part is she doesn't shop anymore & we can control what comes in the house. My son goes through the house every Tuesday night ( Wednesday is garbage day) & throws a bag a week out.
    Allie and Debb70 like this.
    Some people dream of having a big swimming pool - with me it's closets."
    -Audrey Hepburn.

  8. #468
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    10,191

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    A few months back, there was another hoarding show in which the therapist starts out with moving everything out of the house and onto the lawn. Then the hoarder divides it up and decides what they want to put BACK into the house. The hoarder still maintains the authority of what stays and goes, but they start out with everything outside first. I do think that this therapist picked places that were not as extreme as seen on the hoarding show we have discussed on this thread though.

  9. #469
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tallahassee, FL
    Age
    43
    Posts
    4,498

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    I understand why they have to have the hoarder go through stuff with them. If they removed it without the person there, they wouldn't take responsibility for making the mess in the first place or understand the mental issues they're dealing with that are causing them to make bad decisions about what to keep. By having a counselor go through the hoard with them and discuss their reasoning, maybe they can begin to see how their thinking is wrong and start to make changes.

    I do think there should be some guidelines to follow when cleaning out a horde. Obvious junk, like broken bottles, mangled newspapers, ripped up clothing, appliances that no longer work, etc, should be thrown away without discussion. Don't give the hoarder an opportunity to rationalize why that stuff should stay. It goes!!

    Also, anything that is hazardous, either as a fire hazard, or a sanitation hazard, should go without discussion. Sorry, but you can't keep the quilt you got from your grandma because it has been laying in feces for months or years and no amount of cleaning will remove that.

  10. #470
    FORT Fogey libgirl2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    6,850

    Re: Hoarders (A&E)

    Quote Originally Posted by pikachu View Post
    I understand why they have to have the hoarder go through stuff with them. If they removed it without the person there, they wouldn't take responsibility for making the mess in the first place or understand the mental issues they're dealing with that are causing them to make bad decisions about what to keep. By having a counselor go through the hoard with them and discuss their reasoning, maybe they can begin to see how their thinking is wrong and start to make changes.

    I do think there should be some guidelines to follow when cleaning out a horde. Obvious junk, like broken bottles, mangled newspapers, ripped up clothing, appliances that no longer work, etc, should be thrown away without discussion. Don't give the hoarder an opportunity to rationalize why that stuff should stay. It goes!!

    Also, anything that is hazardous, either as a fire hazard, or a sanitation hazard, should go without discussion. Sorry, but you can't keep the quilt you got from your grandma because it has been laying in feces for months or years and no amount of cleaning will remove that.
    But it can be cleaned with bleach!! I can't believe that people would even consider it. Yuck!

    Seriously, if they went in and cleared everything out the hoarder would go right back to what they were doing. The hoarder needs to be treated and consulted or it won't do any good to clear the stuff out. They have a hard enough time as it is not going back to that behavior.
    Allie likes this.
    "To err is human, to arr is a pirate"

+ Reply to Thread

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.