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Thread: Ruby

  1. #241
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Ruby

    Quote Originally Posted by Imperfect1 View Post
    With all due respect to your experience and credentials shoepie, I disagree. Whatever happened to Ruby is causing her such unbelievable pain and torture, that I think she HAS TO remember it and deal with it. This is about more than just her weight gain --- this is about the quality of her life. If you were watching the show you'd see that she is in total misery over this -- and she needs to heal. Once she remembers it and can deal with it, then, yes, perhaps at that time it will be time to let it go and move on, but not until then. Dr. Phil gave a very good analogy of what would happen if she did not deal with the root cause of her problem --- that it would be like trying to sink a beach ball in the water -- it would keep popping back up until the root cause was effectively dealt with.
    Dr. Phil is probably not the right person to quote given his reputation as incompetent. I do agree that she needs a lot of time with a psychologist over this. I don't think it has anything to do with her weight problem. I tend to believe that obesity has more to do with bad habits, bad options, and culture than childhood trauma. If she has an eating disorder or motivation issues, then maybe solving the trauma of her past will help with her obesity. I just hope she doesn't expect all the weight to fall off after a few good visits with her psychologist.

  2. #242
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    Re: Ruby

    The fact that her weight gain began in earnest right around the time her memory is gone tells me that her weight gain has quite A LOT to do with her abuse. Yes, she now has bad habits, but that cannot be a coincidence that she can't remember anything from the same time that she began to gain lots of weight.....and the same time that she's now finding out that she was abused.

    ITA with Imperfect1. In some cases, yes, it is time to let it go and move on, but it's pretty obvious from watching the show that Ruby needs to deal with the abuse. It might be different if she even remembered what happened. This season, as she's gotten closer to the truth about her abuse, she's lost control of her eating. That tells me that her weight has everything to do with her childhood abuse. If she doesn't figure out what happened and get through the trauma of dealing with it, she'll eventually gain all of her weight back...or at least a lot of it.

    This show isn't just about an obese person losing weight - I can watch Biggest Loser or several other shows if that's all I want to see. This show is about Ruby's struggle as a person and, although she annoys me sometimes, I still root for her.
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

  3. #243
    26.2, baby! Allie's Avatar
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    Re: Ruby

    An interesting article on childhood trauma and obesity:

    Adult Obesity Linked with Traumatic Childhood Experiences - TIME

  4. #244
    FORT Fogey causingchaos's Avatar
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    Re: Ruby

    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    An interesting article on childhood trauma and obesity:

    Adult Obesity Linked with Traumatic Childhood Experiences - TIME
    I didn't read the whole article but just hte title reminds me of something a psychologist I used to work with said (she worked with primarily with victims) that some of the victims she worked with would eat themselves until they became invisible to society as they didn't want any one to look at them.

    There are a myriad for therapy theories to use when working with folks which is partially why different therapists work for different people. I don't know what her mental health diagnoses are which impacts how therapists treat folks. However, she does need to address her past abuse but from what i'm reading here she is stagnating (as far as the show is concerned) in therapy which means mucking around in the details of it isn't helping her. Which is the point where people have to proverbially poo or get off the pot. You need to start moving forward here at some point because staying in the yuck ceases to be helpful.

  5. #245
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    Re: Ruby

    Quote Originally Posted by causingchaos View Post
    I didn't read the whole article but just hte title reminds me of something a psychologist I used to work with said (she worked with primarily with victims) that some of the victims she worked with would eat themselves until they became invisible to society as they didn't want any one to look at them.

    There are a myriad for therapy theories to use when working with folks which is partially why different therapists work for different people. I don't know what her mental health diagnoses are which impacts how therapists treat folks. However, she does need to address her past abuse but from what i'm reading here she is stagnating (as far as the show is concerned) in therapy which means mucking around in the details of it isn't helping her. Which is the point where people have to proverbially poo or get off the pot. You need to start moving forward here at some point because staying in the yuck ceases to be helpful.
    There does seem to be something really strange about how she keeps digging and finding nothing. I am actually in the middle of watching two episodes that I taped today. It seems to be causing a lot of stress to Ruby. Sometimes when you search and search and search to find the truth, you end up getting so desperate that you remember something false. The blond lady that was supposed to be helping her seemed like a quack to me. When someone says "Think about he little sad little girl crying inside of you," it sounds like she is leading Ruby.
    A few years back in college, I took a class about Eating Disorders and based on what I learned, I really don't think most cases of obesity are a result of childhood trauma. Obesity is linked with early onset of puberty in women, late onset of puberty in men, anxiety and mood disorders, genetics, race, religion, inconsistent sleep patterns, hormones, etc. Some of these things seem to be legitimate causes, and others are just correlations. Ruby was overweight as a young child. The fat already made her appear more mature but also often leads to early onset of puberty which can lead to young girls being viewed as sexual beings really early on in life, making them targets for disgusting predators. I think the obesity predated the trauma. Obviously Ruby needs to deal with her issues but I don't think they caused her obesity. I think that blond lady and all those other people who have been so aggressive in pursuing this have cause Ruby a lot of stress and that surely is an obstacle to weight loss. I hate that blond lady!

  6. #246
    26.2, baby! Allie's Avatar
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    Re: Ruby

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe View Post
    There does seem to be something really strange about how she keeps digging and finding nothing. I am actually in the middle of watching two episodes that I taped today. It seems to be causing a lot of stress to Ruby. Sometimes when you search and search and search to find the truth, you end up getting so desperate that you remember something false. The blond lady that was supposed to be helping her seemed like a quack to me. When someone says "Think about he little sad little girl crying inside of you," it sounds like she is leading Ruby.
    A few years back in college, I took a class about Eating Disorders and based on what I learned, I really don't think most cases of obesity are a result of childhood trauma. Obesity is linked with early onset of puberty in women, late onset of puberty in men, anxiety and mood disorders, genetics, race, religion, inconsistent sleep patterns, hormones, etc. Some of these things seem to be legitimate causes, and others are just correlations. Ruby was overweight as a young child. The fat already made her appear more mature but also often leads to early onset of puberty which can lead to young girls being viewed as sexual beings really early on in life, making them targets for disgusting predators. I think the obesity predated the trauma. Obviously Ruby needs to deal with her issues but I don't think they caused her obesity. I think that blond lady and all those other people who have been so aggressive in pursuing this have cause Ruby a lot of stress and that surely is an obstacle to weight loss. I hate that blond lady!
    Sometimes doctors have a hammer and they know what to do with it and all they see is nails. I have never watched the show but I find this discussion interesting.

  7. #247
    FORT Fogey causingchaos's Avatar
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    Re: Ruby

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe View Post
    There does seem to be something really strange about how she keeps digging and finding nothing. I am actually in the middle of watching two episodes that I taped today. It seems to be causing a lot of stress to Ruby. Sometimes when you search and search and search to find the truth, you end up getting so desperate that you remember something false. The blond lady that was supposed to be helping her seemed like a quack to me. When someone says "Think about he little sad little girl crying inside of you," it sounds like she is leading Ruby.
    A few years back in college, I took a class about Eating Disorders and based on what I learned, I really don't think most cases of obesity are a result of childhood trauma. Obesity is linked with early onset of puberty in women, late onset of puberty in men, anxiety and mood disorders, genetics, race, religion, inconsistent sleep patterns, hormones, etc. Some of these things seem to be legitimate causes, and others are just correlations. Ruby was overweight as a young child. The fat already made her appear more mature but also often leads to early onset of puberty which can lead to young girls being viewed as sexual beings really early on in life, making them targets for disgusting predators. I think the obesity predated the trauma. Obviously Ruby needs to deal with her issues but I don't think they caused her obesity. I think that blond lady and all those other people who have been so aggressive in pursuing this have cause Ruby a lot of stress and that surely is an obstacle to weight loss. I hate that blond lady!
    It kind of bother's me that there are so many issues she could be working on with Ruby without focusing on digging up missing memories. She could be moving forward and getting healthier. Possibly even to a healthy enough state to deal with the trauma that will inevitably occur if those memories are dug up. Therapists that show up on these shows often scream "sham" to me.

    I agree too that not all heavy people are victims of trauma. Trauma victims do act out in a variety of ways (if they act out).

  8. #248
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    Re: Ruby

    I just wish Ruby's MOTHER would get on with it and fill in the missing pieces for Ruby so that she can start with the healing process. I think the missing links lie with mom.

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