Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood

[Brandy]

I have one friend whose son didn't have sweets until he was 3 years old. REALLY. He enjoyed fruit and ice cream, but not other junk food.

I was not allowed any sweets - including ice cream, probably not including fruit, since that's not cane sugar - until after I was four. Mom wanted me to have good teeth. Then, a trip to the dentist who said I had a cavity and she said "oh well" and lifted the ban. The dentist was a quack and probably made it up it later turned out. (Even as a kid, I thought it odd he could diagnose things without even opening our mouths! No X rays either.) Oh well. But, just to say, it does happen. I know parents whose kids can't eat after 6 PM either. Discipline is good, I think.

T & D's household does not seem too disciplined to me, but who knows? It's television.

[just1paul]

T & D's household does not seem too disciplined to me, but who knows? It's television.

Agreed - It's television - our normal routined, disciplined lives would not good ratings make.

[Debb70]

Lots of things were revealed last night, if they aren't scripted that is. It seems Tori and Dean differ a lot on child discipline. I'm not surprised about that since I have always wondered why when Liam as a baby would slap Tori in the face, she would just look surprised and ignore him. She would never say, no, that's not nice, don't do that. Now I know why. She doesn't want to upset him.

Apparently she intervenes when Dean corrects their behavior and consoles them because she thinks Dean has upset them by laying down consequences for their actions. Good grief. No wonder he's not happy. Who wants to raise kids with no ability to control themself, who are rude, spoiled and have no respect for anyone. Tori must be too short sighted to see that.

I wonder if she has discussed that issue with her gay husband.
It will be difficult to watch if Tori insists on making her herself feel good by letting the kids run wild instead of putting their welfare first. She's so concerned about being a good mom. A good mom doesn't let her kids run wild like animals and have no regard for others feelings.

Tori did not look physically well in last night's episode. I'm sure those around her are very concerned. Patsy still looks sickly to me too. I hope she is recovering well after her surgery. Why doesn't she live near Tori and Dean now?

I really admire Candy Spelling for wanting to have a relationship with her grandkids out of the spotlight of the camera. Too bad Tori insists on everything being shown. She got what she wanted with Candy coming to Liam's birthday party. Did it have to be televised? I think that is really sad.

And did they have to tape Liam running around outside naked? Isn't that a private moment for the child and parents? I know they blurred his privates, but there were film crew there in person. I find that creepy. Where is the line between exposing every detail in your personal life to a television audience and being a normal family? It made me feel ill. I like the family, but don't see this ending well. I sense something is off. Did anyone else get that feeling?

[Boann]

Tori did not look physically well in last night's episode. I'm sure those around her are very concerned. Patsy still looks sickly to me too. I hope she is recovering well after her surgery. Why doesn't she live near Tori and Dean now?

I haven't seen the latest episode yet, but Patsy has always lived in Atlanta. She is a baby nurse and only looks after babies. Once the baby is a certain age (I think a year), or whenever the parents no longer need her, she goes back home.

[Debb70]

I haven't seen the latest episode yet, but Patsy has always lived in Atlanta. She is a baby nurse and only looks after babies. Once the baby is a certain age (I think a year), or whenever the parents no longer need her, she goes back home.

Thanks for the info. She is really needed in that family IMO. She promises to visit more often in the coming year. Let's hope her health impoves and she is around more often. I'm really rooting for that family. I hope I'm wrong about where it is going.

[momrek06]

My head was spinning as they ALL prepared for Liam's birthday ... heck, I love my kiddos and we had birthday parties for them on all their birthdays when they were young INCLUDING me running to their school as well with enough cupcakes for the entire class BUT Tori goes wayyyyyyyy over the top. ITA w/Dean on all these parties for the kiddos. EXTREME.

I wonder what the part/roll was that Dean was auditioning for ... ya, he needs to get back in shape and concentrate more on acting IF that is what he really wants to do ... but if his heart is not in it ... then the professionals doing the auditions will be able to tell that ... Look at Tori, just while Dean is at his audition, she gets a call for a voice over and out the door she goes, does it and is back home in no time.

Liam is growing up right before our eyes. He really is beginning to speak very well and Stella, what an absolute doll. I did not have a problem at all with Liam running around naked ... the fam was on their own balcony, upstairs, off their bedroom, very private.

[Debb70]

I can only hope that Tori's bizarre and rude behavior last night was scripted. IF not, that girl is really going in the wrong direction. When Dean announced that he was scaling back on the racing and just doing casual rides, her comment was sarcastic and insincere. She obviously dosen't know the first thing about compromising. It's her way or the highway, unless it comes to the kids. Then she has no backbone. I'm not sure why she doesn't get it that spoiled, ill tempered, out of control kids become mean, destructive, unhappy adults that no one can stand. Why can't she get that? I guess she keeps looking to herself.

As far as her rude constant texting during her date with Dean. I suspect it wasn't so much about really contacting the kids, but something to distract from the fact she was not eating her dinner. That's my take on it. I think Dean picked up on that too.

When she says she is working on it, I wonder if that means she is in counseling. If not, I don't think she is really working on it.

I really used to like Tori, but her recent behavior is just annoying and frustrating. I pray she's not doing this as a scripted role. If so, I still think it could effect her marriage in negative way. It will also cost her fans. She has always bragged about her fans and how they support or and love her. Well, not any more. Who would support her spoiled and demanding behavior?

[Boann]

I saw both of the last two episodes last night. I don't know for sure obviously but it seemed to me that Tori has got a lot of anger. I think that Dean sucked it up pretty well and is trying to negotiate this bump in the marriage road. He got a lot of negative responses from Tori, but in a passive aggressive way. Tori is upset about the motorcycling racing - Dean discusses the issue seriously with the track guys, takes their recommendations about being just a track rider, tells Tori about the new options, and Tori just gives a whatever shrug.

Dean talks about having lost his confidence, Tori challenges him to do something physical, he takes dance lessons, wasn't too bad and had a lot of fun. He goes home. Tori and Mehrat (her gay husband) ask him to show them some moves, he reluctantly gets one or two steps into it and they start mocking him. Since he was obviously annoyed, it wasn't good natured teasing when they continued to make fun of his dancing.

Tori and Dean have a date night. Her friends who are watching the kids emphasis with her that she should NOT text during the dinner, but to focus on her husband. She then proceeds to text about the kids (before any food arrives) and completely ignores Dean. I think in this case she was using concern for the kids as an excuse to avoid talking with Dean, and he was completely justified in feeling that he was eating alone at dinner. At the end she did acknowledge that this time she was the one who was absent emotionally, and seemed sincere in wanting to try and be more present for her husband.

They do come from very different worlds though so their benchmark for what is "normal" is also very different. I think Tori cannot conceive of what Dean suggests sometimes, especially with discipline with the children. Whether she becomes more open minded about her behavior, well only time will tell. Having a camera in your face to record all the nuances in your reaction can be a big help toward resolving differences if a person is open-minded and wiling to take responsibility for their actions, or a big help toward a divorce if a person isn't.

[Debb70]

You make some good points Boanne. I noticed Tori was way off with the kids when Liam was very little. He would slap her in the face and she would just look surprised. She refused to say no, that's not nice, or no, that's not allowed, or even hold his hand down. She did nothing. How bizarre is that? It takes very little intellect or experience in child care to know that that is NOT how you teach a child to be a civilized person who won't end up in prison. Honestly, I think she needs to read some books on parenting before she writes anymore.

[Boann]

Yeah, I must say that I'm starting to think less of Tori. Okay she didn't have the most functional of childhoods. She's got lots of company in that though, and as said, she needs to read some parenting books. On second thought I'm going to cut her some slack and see how she grows from the experience. I wouldn't be happy if someone held my behavior permanently against while I was going through a personal growth phase.

Personally I also think she needs to put more emotional space between her and her gay husband. Stop the sleep overs in the marital bed when Dean goes out of town. While I believe the gay husband has good intentions toward both Tori and Dean, Tori's relationship with him appears to be undermining the emotional connection with her husband. Really one of the best things you can do for your children is to have a solid relationship with their father.