Welcome back to the FORT’s Top Ten List. This week offered two new shows to garner moments from. Both Mr. Personality and Extreme Makeover debuted. Sit back and enjoy….
10. Brandon Calls His Shot
After the third performer headed out onto the Nashville Star stage this week, our host Nancy was left backstage with the final two contestants, Miranda and Brandon. Only one of them would get the chance to sing tonight. The other would have an opportunity to gather their gear and hit the road. Displaying her usual dazzling and incisive interview skills, Nancy blurts out, "What are you feeling right now?" Surely, anyone watching the show can already imagine how these last two people feel. Do we need Nancy to bludgeon us over the head with their reaction?
At any rate, Miranda chirps away about how much she'll miss Brandon, which honestly is a pretty fair thing to say since no matter what happens, they won't be staying in the same house anymore when the show is over. Brandon, on the other hand, takes Nancy's bait and runs with it in classic "I am such a rebel" fashion. He immediately states his opinion that he's the one who got voted out. Nancy burbles something about how he can't know and how he shouldn't give up hope and so forth, but Brandon has seized the moment. From this point on, every time he shows up on camera, he lets America know that he knows he's out. And sure enough, he's exactly right. His final triumphant words: "If anyone wants to come join me, I'll be getting drunk tonight."
Too bad I don't live in Nashville. I might have sought him out and drowned my sorrows that Brandi's still in the game. Ah, well. There's always next week.
9. Extreme Shame
This week on Extreme Makeover we saw Sissy Biggers bring a candidate to tears before telling her that she had already been accepted for the extreme Makeover. Kine Corder was quick to call her on it, asking why she made her cry before telling her. Then Kine kindly laughed it off noticing that Sissy was also crying. This sweet woman, who had never opened up and talked about her insecurities concerning her looks with her closest friends, family or boyfriends, was reduced to tears for the sake of a little drama on a reality show. Shame on the Extreme Makeover team for using this ploy and then for airing it for millions to see. Though this was the only downfall for this week's show, it was certainly worth a mention.
8. Like a Virgin
I was definitely treated to a really good episode this week on the premiere episode of Mr. Personality. During the first round each guy came and humbly presented his gift offering before the princess Hayley. Some were dumb, some cheesy and some just, well probably picked up in the airport upon landing. However, the ultimate gift had to be from one guy (don’t ask me which, there was this whole mask thing going on) who wanted to reclaim his virginity to re-gift to Hayley.
Ok, now I don't know about most people but that whole "losing your virginity" moment is not one that appears high on the list of pleasant memories. Now, maybe this guy was a super stud or maybe he lost it to some amazing woman and he just wants to relive it or share it with Hayley because it was such an amazing time and he could think of nothing better to give than HIS virginity. Who knows, but when checking my list of things to never do or do again being with a guy his first time is right there on the list with a star next to it!
And so, this is why Mr. Personality and the virgin wanna-be is a top ten moment!
7. A hunk of chocolate cake -- on the side
Survivor's self-proclaimed "cute girl" with the "great body" won the first item up for bid at the reward challenge on Survivor on Thursday night. For $120 Heidi took aim and won a nice big piece of cheesecake, which she munched on heartily. As all the others (minus Christy who was saving her cash for the big prize) won various treats throughout the game, Heidi bid yet again (and won) a huge piece of chocolate cake.
Better be careful Heidi. Too many days like that and you'll turn into one of the unworthy "non cute" girls that you seem to despise so much.
6. A Watch to be Watched
After the frat party camaraderie of the contestants on last fall's The Bachelorette, it was a rude awakening to return to the junior high catfight between the contestants on The Bachelor. To demonstrate that Kirsten isn't on the show to make friends, she turns a frosty shoulder to her competition after showing off her diamond jewelry gift from Andrew. Not to be outdone, the uber-competitive Tina compliments Andrew's watch, only to be offered it as a gift from Andrew, which she wears on her oooh sooo skinny wrists in front of her competition at the Rose Ceremony like a merit badge in gold-digging. Kirsten, not able to rise above this act of antagonation, reminds Andrew that he needs to get his watch back, because seeing it on Tina's wrist burns smug Kirsten ever too smartly. ABC, I'm begging you, leave the conniving wenches off the schedule and please bring back The Bachelorette instead
5. Eany Meany Miney Mo
This week on Survivor we saw Rob play the game like never before. He promised his "popular people" alliance that he would vote with them. He promised his "miscellaneous extras" alliance that he would vote with them. Then he went off into the jungle to catch a tiger by the toe and see which way he would actually vote. This joker of a guy is actually playing quite well. Who knew he had it in him to go so far in the game? Alex sure did not. He thought Rob was content being booted off before the "popular people" started voting each other off. Never underestimate the power of the class clown. I wonder what childhood rhyme Rob will employ next week to decide which way he will vote.
4. I Just Want Your Extra Time and Your...
"Hi, I , uh, was uh, like uh, wondering if uh, you'd like, uh to like, uh kiss me, uh, sometime".
Never bristling with confidence, Liz decided to meet the lack of lip action with Andrew head on, on the latest installment of The Bachelor.
Desperately trying to get a little one on one time on a series of group dates, Liz didn't so much seize her opportunity as ruin it.
Torn between her "love" for Andrew and her desire to be everybody's "best friend", she even offered to give up an individual date if she got one, which of course she didn't.
What guy could refuse?
The Bachelor could...and did.
With her usual chin-tremble in full effect, Liz stood by while four other women received roses.
She told us she was "crushed".
Let's hope she pulls herself together long enough to get her mom's dress back into moth balls.
3. Come On, Phil! You Can't Fool a Magician!
This week, the World Poker Tour stopped off in San Francisco for the Gold Rush Poker Tournament. Some familiar faces popped up at the final table this week, as well as a couple of new ones. Phil Hellmuth, who lost to Phil Gordon back in Aruba, was on hand. As it turned out, Phil's nemesis would prove to be a young amateur, 24-year-old Antonio Esfandiari. Antonio is a professional magician, and he certainly cast a spell over Phil when the show got underway.
Early on, Phil seemed to want to intimidate the young magician. He continually tried to bluff his way into large pots, all the while trying to stare down Antonio or otherwise rile him into a mistake. But Antonio could read Phil like a deck of marked cards, and he always knew just when to re-raise Phil and force him to decide whether to throw more chips into the middle when he knew his hand was horrible. Invariably, Phil would fold, which allowed Antonio to magically transform his lowly 6th-place pile of chips into the 2nd-biggest stack on the table.
And while the magician waved his hands and made Phil's chips disappear, Phil became increasingly agitated. In the end, his foe put him out of the game with yet another re-raise of a pretty decent hand. As if by magic, however, Antonio's hand was better. Phil was out of the contest, finishing fourth. Antonio himself left soon after, but he definitely left his mysterious mark on Phil the professional.
2. Carmen Says Good Night
She was either the little engine that could or the sheep that wouldn't die, depending on which side you were on. Simon picked an unlikely Carmen as his wild card choice on American Idol and the girl everyone expected to get picked off next kept surviving another week. Each week, Simon would praise her. She justified his pick, he said one week. Another week, he called her the most marketable of the competition. And each week, Carmen managed to escape elimination. But this week was different. Simon held nothing back and told her she was simply not in the same league as the others. Carmen bravely put on a happy face and told Ryan that she was indeed worthy of being the next American Idol. But it was not to be, the next night, Carmen fell victim to America's will and was voted out.
1.Psychics Make Him Psychotic
In the premier episode of Mr. Personality, Hayley Arp had the good fortune to eliminate a contestant whose personality left a lot to be desired. Mystery Man #10 was anything but a "Perfect Ten" when he angrily disputed a psychic's description of his potential as a lover. Much like previously aired series of The Bachelor and Joe Millionaire, Hayley needed to eliminate 10 of the contestants the very first night after meeting them. Rational folks will not take such an elimination personally, as obviously Hayley didn't have an opportunity to get to know everyone on a personal basis, particularly when these men are in masks and can't even tell her their names or occupations. The irate #10, however, took his dismissal extremely personally and angrily chewed out Hayley for listening to a psychic and not seeing his true potential. His little tantrum demonstrates that Hayley DID see his potential and was wise to be rid of him as quickly as possible. As a final joke, FOX, which lists #10's occupation as a "commercial real estate agent" on its website, described him during the show with only his other profession, NFL Mascot. We weren't told what team, but as the normal NFL team mascots all seem rather benign for this guy, I'm picturing him as Crabcake, a Giant Crab. I'm sure #10 will be getting lots of dates based on his memorable appearance on this show.
The FORT would like to thank the following writers, in alphabetical order, for their contributions this week: BravoFan, Feifer, firegirl, Fluff, lurkinggirl, Miss Filangi and Paulie