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Thread: Sober House

  1. #141
    Let the Wild Rumpus begin JustJuls's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    I couldn't believe the outfit she wore to go have her meeting with Dr. Drew.....her skirt was SOOOOO short!!
    When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, the World will know Peace

  2. #142
    FORT Fogey luvsginger's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJuls;3373864;
    I couldn't believe the outfit she wore to go have her meeting with Dr. Drew.....her skirt was SOOOOO short!!
    Not very flattering either....

    Have you noticed that Amber seems to cover her legs with long dresses or skirts and she is the one that has the legs to show.

  3. #143
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    It's only been a year since Nikki's mother died, if you truly love the person who died, if you were close or if the relationship was complex, a year is merely a nano second. Grief Councilors tell people not to make any major life decisions until at least a year after the death of their loved one because your mind is such a wreck...

    The first year someone is gone is unbearable. Nikki's reaction is pretty normal. Every holiday is a `first' because the person sin't there. Every day life is awful but you can't show those feelings because life goes on, even though you can't imagine why it is going on. Your upset and angry when people laugh, complete strangers-you want to shake them and yell " "Don't you know, don't you know that someone really wonderful died?" I cannot begin to describe what it's like to look at an empty kitchen chair, where the person used to sit at every meal...you find yourself, at other times, reaching for the phone ready to call the person out of habit, or maybe some little thing in every day life happens which reminds you you would probably be talking to that person about that particular moment...Their birthday comes and you can't help but remember...if the death was unexpected or especially awful(although death is awful to begin with) you go over it in your mind again and again wondering if there was something that could have been done differently, that maybe you could have done something different to alter the outcome. If the person died on a holiday, forget it, you never truly `get over it.' Sometimes the pain hurts so much it's like you can't breathe. You also find yourself concerned for the other people mourning the loss, how are they doing? How do we talk about this without falling apart? You pretend everything is great for the sake of other people...You wonder if you are weak, going crazy-you think " I should move on...and you chastise yourself for not being able to move on. YOu think your behavior is abnormal and you need to keep it to yourself because if people knew they would think your weak or nuts.
    Except you are acting completely normal, the way most of the world behaves when the grief of death visits them.

    So, grief over the death of someone especially close never goes away, it just changes over time. We all find different ways of dealing with it, if we are artistic then writing, drawing, singing, dancing helps us cope even if it appears to have the exact opposite effect on us... For others of a different generation, particularly men, stoicism is the way to cope, on the inside though, there is emotional devastation.
    I think Nikki has a lot of guts and a lot of strength because she was able to fight through her fear of openly expressing her grief-that's a big fear for a lot of people...But she did it in her own way and the song she wrote was just a beautiful gift to herself, her mother and her friend...
    " I have a simple outlook-leave every person I meet with a smile on their face."-Donny

  4. #144
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by luvsginger;3374061;
    Not very flattering either....

    Have you noticed that Amber seems to cover her legs with long dresses or skirts and she is the one that has the legs to show.
    I have to say I don't like the long dresses either, not that anyone asked my opinion - Maybe it's just me, but those long tent dresses make the wearer look like they are covering up a pregnancy, just like those weird strapless terry cloth short dressess a lot of peoole wear. Very odd effect.
    There must be a happy medium between Jen's short short dresses and Ambers extra flowy tent dresses?
    " I have a simple outlook-leave every person I meet with a smile on their face."-Donny

  5. #145
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJuls;3372944;
    I thought he said he was going to be doing the sober living house WITH his brother?!?! (as well as Construction)
    Really? Oops! Wow, did i totally not hear that entire conversation correctly or what? Thank you for the translation. Makes me worried I haven't correctly heard about 80 percent of the season
    " I have a simple outlook-leave every person I meet with a smile on their face."-Donny

  6. #146
    HELL-O DR OLIVER! stacerace's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by luvsginger;3373828;
    Why would Nikki "choose" to perform the first time sober on the anniversary of her mother's death? The difference between her and Rodney King is that he has moved on and chooses not to dwell and focus on the negative experiences of his life. Nikki never talks about anything positive....doesn't she have kids? Why doesn't she ever talk about them or talk about anything good in her life? Even when she talks about her AI experiences, she sounds like its the end of the world. In my opinion, Nikki is looking for reasons to use. Maybe she should go on anti-depressants or something....I don't know but oh my gosh, she is such a Debbie Downer.....and her whiney nasally voice with her jaw moving back and forth, I am so sorry but she looks like she is dirty and needs to take a hot shower. That outfit she wore could not have been less flattering! Shoes with straps around your ankle shorten your leg and then she wears a skirt that comes to the middle of her knee which makes her entire leg appear to be about 5 inches long.
    I apologize to all you fans for sounding so harsh but I am so frustrated with this talented and beautiful woman!

    She has the most beautiful voice, I just can't believe it comes out of that person that I see on tv. IMO, she has raw talent and it is going to waste. I wish someone would shake her silly, give her a makeover, hug her and tell her that she is loved by many people.

    Nikki - move on...your mother would not want you to be like this. Move on......
    I agree with some of what you're saying (especially Nikki's lack of hygiene ) but this is an edited show and even though we only see her being negative doesn't mean she isn't positive sometimes too.
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  7. #147
    Let the Wild Rumpus begin JustJuls's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by redsox girl;3374143;
    Really? Oops! Wow, did i totally not hear that entire conversation correctly or what? Thank you for the translation. Makes me worried I haven't correctly heard about 80 percent of the season
    No....it is quite possible that I mis-heard it. I end up doing way too much other stuff while watching TV. Who knows what he said......
    When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, the World will know Peace

  8. #148
    FORT Fan Ownlyanangel20's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    My father passed away on thanksgiving of 08. 10:25 pm that night, the entire day was spent in his ICU room, watching him connected to life support and hoping that one next dose of dopamine would raise his blood pressure. it didnt and we had to make the decision to extubate him and stop all meds except for morphine and ativan. He passed away within 10 minutes, it didnt take long, thank god.

    Grief is a funny emotion. You can have 100 people put in a room, and they will each express and supress the emotion differently. It took my mom 3 solid months of SOLID mourning to finally emerge through the clouds. Now Im talking about extreme depression and despair. It was rather scary. But then again, they had been married for 31 years.

    I went up and down with my emotions. I feel that, as of now, I am okay with the whole thing. Being a nurse (my mom is one too), I think, allows me to get a bigger perspective in the whole life and death thing. As well as I was my dad's caretaker for the past 3 months of his life. So I watched him get more and more ill. I know there is something more than all of this that exists, I just know. Ive witnesses and called too many time of deaths to know that there is a difference between the person before they take their last breathe and the moments after, and it has little to do with the pulmonary gas exchange. Its just this feeling,this energy that once existed, is no longer. And the first law of physics, states energy can not be created or destroyed, so this energy, this person, has gone somewhere. Anyhoo....sorry for that....

    So I get where Nikki is coming from. Although I have coped better than her, had I gone into alcohol and drugs, it would definately have delayed my coping mechanisms. And I also dont show my emotions, I am more stoic.


    Quote Originally Posted by redsox girl;3374134;
    It's only been a year since Nikki's mother died, if you truly love the person who died, if you were close or if the relationship was complex, a year is merely a nano second. Grief Councilors tell people not to make any major life decisions until at least a year after the death of their loved one because your mind is such a wreck...

    The first year someone is gone is unbearable. Nikki's reaction is pretty normal. Every holiday is a `first' because the person sin't there. Every day life is awful but you can't show those feelings because life goes on, even though you can't imagine why it is going on. Your upset and angry when people laugh, complete strangers-you want to shake them and yell " "Don't you know, don't you know that someone really wonderful died?" I cannot begin to describe what it's like to look at an empty kitchen chair, where the person used to sit at every meal...you find yourself, at other times, reaching for the phone ready to call the person out of habit, or maybe some little thing in every day life happens which reminds you you would probably be talking to that person about that particular moment...Their birthday comes and you can't help but remember...if the death was unexpected or especially awful(although death is awful to begin with) you go over it in your mind again and again wondering if there was something that could have been done differently, that maybe you could have done something different to alter the outcome. If the person died on a holiday, forget it, you never truly `get over it.' Sometimes the pain hurts so much it's like you can't breathe. You also find yourself concerned for the other people mourning the loss, how are they doing? How do we talk about this without falling apart? You pretend everything is great for the sake of other people...You wonder if you are weak, going crazy-you think " I should move on...and you chastise yourself for not being able to move on. YOu think your behavior is abnormal and you need to keep it to yourself because if people knew they would think your weak or nuts.
    Except you are acting completely normal, the way most of the world behaves when the grief of death visits them.

    So, grief over the death of someone especially close never goes away, it just changes over time. We all find different ways of dealing with it, if we are artistic then writing, drawing, singing, dancing helps us cope even if it appears to have the exact opposite effect on us... For others of a different generation, particularly men, stoicism is the way to cope, on the inside though, there is emotional devastation.
    I think Nikki has a lot of guts and a lot of strength because she was able to fight through her fear of openly expressing her grief-that's a big fear for a lot of people...But she did it in her own way and the song she wrote was just a beautiful gift to herself, her mother and her friend...

  9. #149
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Sober House

    thanks redsox girl for a moving post. I agree with you that we all suffer our loss differently.

    I will say that your point "if the relationship was complex" is accurate in regard to Nikki and her mom. I had the impression that her mom turned Nikki on to her own demons---alcohol and drugs...not something you would find in most mother and daughter relationships. Then mom died as a result of... or after drinking with Nikki and Nikki has felt guilt about that.

    That most certainly makes her reaction to the death harsher and not because of deep mother daughter bond .

  10. #150
    FORT Fogey luvsginger's Avatar
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    Re: Sober House

    Quote Originally Posted by ibot2much;3374251;
    thanks redsox girl for a moving post. I agree with you that we all suffer our loss differently.
    guilt about that.
    Yes, thank you Redsoxgirl, your post brought tears to my eyes. It was well written and very moving.
    I'm sorry if I came across harsh and uncaring regarding Nikki's grieving.

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