Sober House

[GracieJardine]

Long post but I'm so disappointed with this show!

I couldn't agree with you more. One of the biggest issues I have with the Sober House is that the house manager is no where near strong enough in her own recovery to lead/manage others. Her antics after being hit by the paintball is a perfect example. She hasn't reached the point in her own recovery to control her tantrums and minimize the drama in a situation. She feeds off of it just as the others do. As evidenced by her willingness to go along with the allowed drama in the house.

Also, the scavenger hunt that Shifty led these people on in previous episodes was completely ridiculous and only allowed because the cameras were running. What we should've seen was them all sitting in a group being confronted on how quickly they fell into their using behaviors and how they failed to recognize relapse triggers and to create a plan of action which would separate themselves from the drama. Actually, the only person I can say that really did that was Steven, but then I read somewhere that he was imposed into the show and wasn't really there for the experience.

My boss hates this show. He owns a substance abuse treatment facility and a halfway house and was astounded when he overheard a co-worker and me discussing the show. I'm trying to be entertained while watching it, but it's becoming more and more difficult.

In my area, people in halfway houses are, for the most part, court-ordered to be there. Going to bars, clubs, and other places where using substances is common is not allowed. Ever. Actually, in halfway houses here (I'm in the midwest) clients cannot "hang out" together outside the house. That probably has more to do with the fact that most of these people are on probation or parole and it is a violation to associate with other people on probation or parole.

The more I think about it, they are allowed to go to work and straight back to the house. They occasionally earn weekend leave time, but that doesn't happen until they've settled into the house and prove they can follow all of the house rules. This sober house is far too relaxed regarding straight living to do any kind of good for these celebs. It's saddening, really.

I agree 100% with everything you've said. In a real sober living, it is a much more regulated environment, and the people comply because often they are there because they have no choice. Its be in sober living, or be on the street, and you're often in there with all sorts of people at various stages in recovery. My friend is in a sober living place right now and its always interesting to hear her stories. Her home is much more calm than the VH1 Sober Living place appears to be. They have a rule that everyone has to leave the house at 10AM, and they have to go work, or to the library, or to go to something with their day. They have chores that have to be done, mandatory meetings to attend, and no one is allowed to sleep in past 9AM. If a person can't follow the rules, then they are kicked out.

A couple of points from yesterday's show. Thank heaven they put Andy into the group. The man made the show look better than it deserves. The same thing for Rodney. The man also looks like a person who wants to change.

I agree. Rodney and Andy are likely to be the only successes coming out of this show. They really want it and I have high hopes for both of them.

glad that Mary didn't drink during the swingers convention...hopefully the piece of garbage she is associated with is gone from her life( but I doubt it)

I'm not sure that she did remain sober. It was never spelled out, but in last night's episode, I thought that she drank at Swingfest because her 'manager' ordered a vodka and Red Bull for her and told her it was virgin. That was beyond disgusting to me.

What was with Jen and Seth being on the bed together with his head on her stomach?? What were the rules are set down by JEN!!! No physical contact and no going into the bedrooms of the other gender!! Maybe she was being nuturing and motherly (although she does NOT strike me that way.)... but that was just inappropriate.

I too have a MAJOR issue with Jen as house manager. She is so, so inappropriate:
1) Every episode we see her kissing various residents, and saying 'I love you.'
2) She's supposed to be an authority figure, not their buddy. She shouldn't even be doing paintball with them.
3) In a previous episode when Seth finds some crack in his pocket and gives it to Jen, and then she's sitting there with the crack in her hand saying, 'wow its right there, i could just cut it up, no one will know, because you're running this thing.' That was appalling and spoke volumes about her being way too new to recovery to be in her position.
4) Then in last night's episode, when Steven is suspected of getting high and she gives him a pee test. Then Jen proceeded to go over the results WITH 2 OTHER PATIENTS. That was a huge violation of all sorts of ethics and professionalism. Drug results are supposed to be reviewed by a nurse and kept confidential.
5) The way she dresses is so unprofessional. Every episode, she's wearing skin-tight clothing, showing cleavage, wearing booty shorts. And she tolerates the same in the residents. Most sober living places have rules about that sort of thing, because it is very common for traditional addicts to also be sex addicts.

[JustJuls]

I'm not sure that she did remain sober. It was never spelled out, but in last night's episode, I thought that she drank at Swingfest because her 'manager' ordered a vodka and Red Bull for her and told her it was virgin. That was beyond disgusting to me.

I don't remember him telling her it was a "virgin" ... He told her that he was getting her one....and she declined saying "I'm not doing that...no, I'm not doing that." I was proud of her. Now I'm not saying that she didn't drink the entire time there but in that specific instance I don't believe she did.

I was also proud of Nikki. It took a lot of strength to get up there and sing/lip sync that song. Maybe she did sing it...and it didn't sound very good so they dubbed over the recording?!?! Either way...props to her.

Andy is super loveable. I'm shocked every week at how I like him more and more. Same with Rodney....I was really impressed that he wanted to use his house for a sober living house. Unfortunately that thing was a mess....but maybe he can fix it up. Either way....just the thought of wanting to do that says a lot. Good from him!

[redsox girl]

Nikki did a wonderful job- I wonder if she realizes what she did up on stage is a major accomplishment. I'm just very proud of her. I too, find Andy to be abbsolutley loveable and it amazes me because I just hated the guy in the past based on all of the horrible things he said and did. I wonder if anyone else has gone out to make amends, that has to be so scary, facing all of the people who may actually hate you with good reason. Talk about humbling. While looking at next weeks previews Andy was crying because he didn't think anyone from the house was sincere about keeping in contact with him.
As for Rodney, he seems to be compleltey seperate from everyone else- I don't mean that in a bad way- it's like he has this whole road planned for himself while in rehab and he doesn't want anything to distract him. He doesn't engage in the drama. Oh my, he looked so overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning up his house-I beleieve he said he was leaving that all behind, though as he will be finding a place to live with his fiancee? He seemed absolutley shocked when he saw how he was living. He said he has a construction job lined up with his brother, however didn't he also say his brother was one of the people he needed to stay away from? Or did I not hear him correctly?

[redsox girl]

I think Dr. Drew is the one who should be held accountable regarding Jenn, if there are issues with her. Afterall, he hired her. To me, she seems too `fresh' to be able to handle the likes of Steven and Shifty. Also, she originally stated she did not want Steven back in the house after the initial incident because she didn't feel comfortable. To me, letting Steven back into the house minimized her concerns(afterall she has to live with him, not Dr. Drew) and gave Steven carte blanche to behave as he wishes since there weren't any negative consequences for his behavior. Again, same with Shifty.

[JustJuls]

I beleieve he said he was leaving that all behind, though as he will be finding a place to live with his fiancee? He seemed absolutley shocked when he saw how he was living. He said he has a construction job lined up with his brother, however didn't he also say his brother was one of the people he needed to stay away from? Or did I not hear him correctly?

I thought he said he was going to be doing the sober living house WITH his brother?!?! (as well as Construction)

[JustJuls]

I think Dr. Drew is the one who should be held accountable regarding Jenn, if there are issues with her. Afterall, he hired her. To me, she seems too `fresh' to be able to handle the likes of Steven and Shifty. Also, she originally stated she did not want Steven back in the house after the initial incident because she didn't feel comfortable. To me, letting Steven back into the house minimized her concerns(afterall she has to live with him, not Dr. Drew) and gave Steven carte blanche to behave as he wishes since there weren't any negative consequences for his behavior. Again, same with Shifty.

I was actually assuming that VH1 hired her...

[KeepItReal]

It was disgusting, but all to predictable, that David tried to get Mary to drink. He realizes that her sobriety is a threat to his being in her life. He wants her to act like a whore at swingfest or whatever it's called, the best way to do that is to sauce her up. He wants to keep her self esteem down so he can control her so he has to keep her unstable and unsure. He's the worse kind of parasite. Hate the guy, hate him with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Andy is as sweet as pie when he is sober, and Rodney-I just adore the guy. These two are surely the most focused, however Nikki is trying very hard but is going through so much right now. Great for her that she was in treatment when her friend dies and her relative killed his stepfather. Everything going on so close to the date of her mother's death would have been too much for her to maintain sobriety through without assistance.

[redsox girl]

I was actually assuming that VH1 hired her...

Yipes, that's extremely disturbing. on the other hand, if Rodney and Andy keep doing what they are doing it proves a person can maintain sobriety if they are ready to do so.

[luvsginger]

Why would Nikki "choose" to perform the first time sober on the anniversary of her mother's death? The difference between her and Rodney King is that he has moved on and chooses not to dwell and focus on the negative experiences of his life. Nikki never talks about anything positive....doesn't she have kids? Why doesn't she ever talk about them or talk about anything good in her life? Even when she talks about her AI experiences, she sounds like its the end of the world. In my opinion, Nikki is looking for reasons to use. Maybe she should go on anti-depressants or something....I don't know but oh my gosh, she is such a Debbie Downer.....and her whiney nasally voice with her jaw moving back and forth, I am so sorry but she looks like she is dirty and needs to take a hot shower. That outfit she wore could not have been less flattering! Shoes with straps around your ankle shorten your leg and then she wears a skirt that comes to the middle of her knee which makes her entire leg appear to be about 5 inches long.
I apologize to all you fans for sounding so harsh but I am so frustrated with this talented and beautiful woman!

She has the most beautiful voice, I just can't believe it comes out of that person that I see on tv. IMO, she has raw talent and it is going to waste. I wish someone would shake her silly, give her a makeover, hug her and tell her that she is loved by many people.

Nikki - move on...your mother would not want you to be like this. Move on......

[chenoa333]

5) The way she dresses is so unprofessional. Every episode, she's wearing skin-tight clothing, showing cleavage, wearing booty shorts. And she tolerates the same in the residents. Most sober living places have rules about that sort of thing, because it is very common for traditional addicts to also be sex addicts.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks Jen dresses inappropriately. She makes Bret Michaels contestants (skanks) look high class!