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Thread: The Duggar Family

  1. #881
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Dancer;3712322;

    And a completely personal and not very polite question--can't these peple keep their hands off each other during certain times each month? They ought to be well-acquainted with the mother's fertile periods of her cycle by now.
    Thanks to both you and hutchlover for the well wishes. I have a daughter at home (I guess obvious from my name) and I have a son on the way in about 10 weeks. Can't wait to be done!!

    I just wanted to respond to your last question - which made me laugh! In all seriousness though, while yes, they would generally know the time to avoid, my understanding was this particular time, she was still breastfeeding Jordyn. As I'm sure you know, when you are nursing, you don't have periods, and generally are not supposed to be able to get pregnant (yes, of course, it is not perfect). But, in response to your question, at least with regard to this most recent child, I don't think they knew when the less than optimal time was.

  2. #882
    FORT Fanatic harleyswife's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Are they gonna rename the show to 19 kids and counting this time, they should just call it the Duggars and be done with it, cause you know they'll be renaming again next year.

  3. #883
    FORT Fogey causingchaos's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom;3712596;
    Thanks to both you and hutchlover for the well wishes. I have a daughter at home (I guess obvious from my name) and I have a son on the way in about 10 weeks. Can't wait to be done!!

    I just wanted to respond to your last question - which made me laugh! In all seriousness though, while yes, they would generally know the time to avoid, my understanding was this particular time, she was still breastfeeding Jordyn. As I'm sure you know, when you are nursing, you don't have periods, and generally are not supposed to be able to get pregnant (yes, of course, it is not perfect). But, in response to your question, at least with regard to this most recent child, I don't think they knew when the less than optimal time was.
    Does anyone know if she actually has regular periods? If she's not like clock work it's harder to to distinguish the right and wrong time to have sex. And that method of birth control is not 100% either.

  4. #884
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by KatesMom;3712596;
    Thanks to both you and hutchlover for the well wishes. I have a daughter at home (I guess obvious from my name) and I have a son on the way in about 10 weeks. Can't wait to be done!!

    I just wanted to respond to your last question - which made me laugh! In all seriousness though, while yes, they would generally know the time to avoid, my understanding was this particular time, she was still breastfeeding Jordyn. As I'm sure you know, when you are nursing, you don't have periods, and generally are not supposed to be able to get pregnant (yes, of course, it is not perfect). But, in response to your question, at least with regard to this most recent child, I don't think they knew when the less than optimal time was.

    Katesmom--hi.

    I'd think after that many kids they would have this figured out--about the breastfeeding not being a really good indicator of fertility (or lack of it) for her.


    As I have said above--I hope for the day when most people think about the consequences of their actions in terms of reproductive behavior. What kind of example are they setting for their kids?

    Rut whenever you feel like it and d*mn the consequences?

    ______________________________ _____________________


    On a personal note--it sounds as thouigh your pregnancy is going well--especially this last part where you can't wait for it just to be OVER.

    Sending good thoughts your way.

  5. #885
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Dancer;3712726;
    Katesmom--hi.

    I'd think after that many kids they would have this figured out--about the breastfeeding not being a really good indicator of fertility (or lack of it) for her.


    As I have said above--I hope for the day when most people think about the consequences of their actions in terms of reproductive behavior. What kind of example are they setting for their kids?

    Rut whenever you feel like it and d*mn the consequences?
    I think they're setting a great example. They have happy healthy educated kids who they support without asking for aide from anyone. They are a very close family who lives very frugally and very "greenly". Quite the opposite of "rut whenever you feel like it" they teach their children to wait for marriage so that their babies will have a stable home, quite different from what many children are taught these days. I don't see the older children having to care for the younger. I see Michelle doing the care.

    I had three children in my family and I did a lot more child care, in part because my mother worked, than my best friend who was from a family of 13 children. She had some chores like dishes or laundry, and so did I, and I think that's a good thing. They lived much more economically than my family, reusing wrapping paper, eating less meat, not using paper plates, etc. I would much rather have spent time in their home, with the warmth and love, than in my own home.

  6. #886
    FORT Fogey causingchaos's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Because you know kids in the dominant culture aren't taught at all to rut when they want to from all the stuff they are exposed to in the dominant culture.

  7. #887
    GO BUCKEYES! hutchlover's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by causingchaos;3713173;
    Because you know kids in the dominant culture aren't taught at all to rut when they want to from all the stuff they are exposed to in the dominant culture.
    This made me laugh! (which is sad, really)

    But it doesn't apply to the Duggars since, like Duckyface said, they're teaching their children to abstain until marriage.

    However, because they are on tv, teens (who have very little attention span), just see the "rutting w/o protection" implications and not the rest of the parenting message. Though I think the Duggars aren't to blame for that, it is a fact that teens have a hard enough time keeping their hands off one another.

  8. #888
    FORT Fan Gandolf 5's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family


    We all had "chores" growing up. I was the youngest so no I never had to watch any brothers or sisters. I personally don't see anything wrong with teaching the kids that kind of responsibility. The parents know they are outnumbered......if the kids decided to stage a revolt there would be you know what in that house!!!!!!
    The parents are raising those children to be well-adjusted productive members of society within the framework of their own chosen religious beliefs. How many people these days are looking for hand out anywhere they can get it?(and no I am not pointing fingers at any particular race-religion etc...) This family is taking care of their own and doing it their own way. To me it is kind of refreshing to see that. They know they are not a "mainstream" kind of family but it doesn't bother them. I think if any of the kids decided to "bust loose" when they got older and live outside of the parents religious beliefs, JimBob and Michelle would not necessarily like it but would support them (emotionally) and realize that each of them is an individual not a lump sum like some other reality family.
    "Lucy...you got some splainin' to do." Ricky Ricardo

  9. #889
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Gandolf--hi. I usually agree with most of what you say but I am going to disagree with this.

    You say--
    "I think if any of the kids decided to "bust loose" when they got older and live outside of the parents religious beliefs, JimBob and Michelle would not necessarily like it but would support them (emotionally) and realize that each of them is an individual not a lump sum like some other reality family."

    I can tell you from personal experience that when a grown child decides to follow a path that is not the same religious path they were brought up with--espechially when it is a very "traditional" path--a lot of families do NOT support the one who is "different."

    They often take the choice as somehow being a judgment on their own life choices.

    And trust me--it can get ugly sometimes when religious people feel they are being judged by their own offspring.


    Not saying this would necessarily happen to these people. But I have seen it enough in our own family--and very up close and personal too--to know that when it happens it can be hurtful beyond imagining.

    IMO these children have a lot of pain and sorrow ahead of them--not the least of which is not having had real childhoods.

    For which they are going to be highly resentful of their parents in the years to come.


    Again--I am speaking from personal experience and also seeing what my cousins etc who came fro really large families--like one who is from a 20-child family--had to go through to find herself after a childhood spent bending to every one of her parents' religious behaviors and beliefs.

  10. #890
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Dancer;3714029;
    Gandolf--hi. I usually agree with most of what you say but I am going to disagree with this.

    You say--
    "I think if any of the kids decided to "bust loose" when they got older and live outside of the parents religious beliefs, JimBob and Michelle would not necessarily like it but would support them (emotionally) and realize that each of them is an individual not a lump sum like some other reality family."

    I can tell you from personal experience that when a grown child decides to follow a path that is not the same religious path they were brought up with--espechially when it is a very "traditional" path--a lot of families do NOT support the one who is "different."

    They often take the choice as somehow being a judgment on their own life choices.

    And trust me--it can get ugly sometimes when religious people feel they are being judged by their own offspring.


    Not saying this would necessarily happen to these people. But I have seen it enough in our own family--and very up close and personal too--to know that when it happens it can be hurtful beyond imagining.

    IMO these children have a lot of pain and sorrow ahead of them--not the least of which is not having had real childhoods.

    For which they are going to be highly resentful of their parents in the years to come.


    Again--I am speaking from personal experience and also seeing what my cousins etc who came fro really large families--like one who is from a 20-child family--had to go through to find herself after a childhood spent bending to every one of her parents' religious behaviors and beliefs.
    WD - I understand your experience was painful (don't want to put words in your mouth, but that is what I get from your posts) to you and that you are speaking about your personal experience. That is what you know, and I truly hope that the these kids do not have a similar experience.

    I just want to caution though, that while you had a very negative experience, others on here have talked about large families and positive experiences. One of my very close friends, in fact, came from a family of 8 kids. She is happy and well-developed and still very close with her entire family. Her (and many of her siblings) did not follow in her parents religious footsteps and her parents have been ok with that. Her parents educated her as to their way of life and their belief system. But at the end of the day, her parents had the attitude of wanting to raise happy, healthy members of society. If that meant the children went in a different direction, so be it. Many of them did - but a few did follow the parents beliefs into adulthood.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that not all experiences are like yours. With regard to the Duggars, we don't know. Yes, there are probably things we don't know. However, from what we have seen, I don't see Michelle and Jim Bob as being those controlling type of parents. They have both acknowledged that they did things differently in their pasts. They have stated that they regretted it and wanted to educate their children as to their beliefs. But I have never seen anything from these parents that would indicate it was "my way or the highway". In fact, in the wedding episode for Josh, I remember an interview with Michelle where she said she thought it was "precious" that Josh and Anna had "chosen" to wait until their wedding day for their first kiss.

    At the end of the day, all we know is what we are shown. I see happy, well-adjusted, respectful kids. I see the younger kids laughing and playing. I see the older kids (Jinger in particular) making jokes to the camera. These do not strike me as repressed and controlled children. For every bad experience the children of a large family has, there are just as many positive stories. And quite frankly, I think that comes down to the personality of the parents - and am not sure it would be different if the family only had 2 children!

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