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Thread: The Duggar Family

  1. #1881
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by causingchaos View Post
    Funerary pictures used to actually be quite common and not just of a hand or foot. For some people it is still common to take pictures of deceased babies etc. I don't find that odd at all. People actually collect the antique pictures even if they're not of relatives. I also know more the one person that has had a picture taken with a deceased premature baby or still born baby as well. It is part of the coping.

    Posting them online maybe not so normal.
    Photography was a relatively new technology when this custom began to be observed. People sat for portraits to mark the major watershed occasions in their lives, just as we do today. People didn't own cameras, though, but went to a studio for to have portraits done. Back then, funerary photography was a very special way to keep a loved one's face with you forever. It defeated the normal human memory's tendency to "blur" the faces of our lost ones until we could no longer recall exactly what they looked like. It let us keep their faces fresh in our memory.

    I have several such family portraits from three generations ago. Some are of very young children who died of things like whooping cough. I can understand how a loving parent would cherish that photo and look at it often, recalling that beloved face.
    Last edited by Poppy Fields; 12-15-2011 at 01:44 PM.
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  2. #1882
    FORT Fogey causingchaos's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields View Post
    Photography was a relatively new technology when this custom began to be observed. People sat for portraits to mark the major watershed occasions in their lives, just as we do today. People didn't own cameras, though, but went to a studio for to have portraits done. Back then, funerary photography was a very special way to keep a loved one's face with you forever. It defeated the normal human memory's tendency to "blur" the faces of our lost ones until we could no longer recall exactly what they looked like. It let us keep their faces fresh in our memory.

    I have several such family portraits from three generations ago. Some are of very young children who died of things like whooping cough. I can understand how a loving parent would cherish that photo and look at it often, recalling that beloved face.
    That's why it's not unusual for parents to still have pictures taken with their still born or premature babies that don't survive. You only have a short time with these babies on earth in those situations. I can totally understand why a parent would do that as part of their way of coping with what happened.

    I love old fashioned funerary pictures and totally understand why in modern day people would continue to do it.

  3. #1883
    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    It used to be a common thing to take pictures of your dead. I have see many dead childrens pictures and the Duggars baby to me is no different than them. I do hope they don't become public domain. I personally don't like pictures of dead people and I asked the mortician to not let people take pictures of my mother but he couldn't monitor the casket all the time. My aunt from England loves taking pictures of dead people.
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  4. #1884
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by causingchaos View Post
    That's why it's not unusual for parents to still have pictures taken with their still born or premature babies that don't survive. You only have a short time with these babies on earth in those situations. I can totally understand why a parent would do that as part of their way of coping with what happened.

    I love old fashioned funerary pictures and totally understand why in modern day people would continue to do it.
    Personally, I feel that photos of dead fetuses who are not close to term (and, therefore, don't look much like a human baby) to be really gruesome. As in shocking and frightful. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to share them.

    BTW I don't think I mentioned that the Duggar family member who put the photo on Twitter was cousin Amy. I don't find it credible that she did it without Michelle's knowledge or permission.
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  5. #1885
    My Doppleganger Jupiter's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    I didn't find the photos of Jubilee to be offensive. They appeared to be well done. I would like to think cousin Amy received permission to put them on Twitter, but they would've gotten out anyway. In my own humble opinion, it would have been best if they were viewed only by the family and those at the memorial service. In any case, its obvious the Duggars' hearts are broken over the loss of Jubilee. I am very sorry too.
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  6. #1886
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    I will not presume to know the state of another's grief, but IMO your actions reveal what you're really up to.

    Here's an audio tape of Michelle's letter to her dead baby. It sounds to me like a political ad. Very sad indeed.
    Michelle Duggar's Letter to Her 20th Baby | Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling | Living the Life of Faith
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  7. #1887
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Quote Originally Posted by Jupiter View Post
    I didn't find the photos of Jubilee to be offensive. They appeared to be well done. I would like to think cousin Amy received permission to put them on Twitter, but they would've gotten out anyway. In my own humble opinion, it would have been best if they were viewed only by the family and those at the memorial service. In any case, its obvious the Duggars' hearts are broken over the loss of Jubilee. I am very sorry too.
    Reality is, I think you are right. There were reportedly hundreds of people at that memorial service. My guess is someone would have leaked the pictures. It is truly sad when any woman loses a child, whether before birth or after. My heart goes out to the family.

  8. #1888
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    As I watched the news this weekend, listening to a baby whose mother stabbed them in the head or a few weeks ago a story of a woman who gave birth in a gas station restroom and disposed of her infant in the garbage... how many sick people treat their infants as garbage, a worthless life that can be tossed out at will. The Duggars are saying what an important and vital life this child was. Yes, its not always in the best taste, but at least Jubilee didn't end up in a trash bag in a dirty gas station restroom.
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  9. #1889
    MT Native Bjaminsmom's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Speaking from experience, I've had two premature babies in the second trimester. They were not "fetuses". They were prefectly form babies. Both had ten fingers, ten toes, arms, legs, eyes, nose, etc. One of them will be turning 21 in a few weeks and another passed away after only living two days. BOTH of them were labelled "miscarriages" not births. It is a little disturbing to read that they are considered "fetuses" and to take pictures is gruesome or disturbing. To the parent of that child it is sometimes all they have. Did we take pictures of our son who died? Yes. It is all we have of him. Did we distribute the photos. Yes we did. They went in the birth/death announcement. Sometimes this is the only way a parent can cope. They want the world to recognize their baby as REAL, because he/she is real. They are not a mass of tissue and babies in the second trimester do survive. My oldest is living proof. He grew up normal, is living a life as a Marine.

    When I am asked how many children I have I say three and I have a picture of all three in my wallet to show off. My second son may eternally be two days old but that doesn't make him any less real.

    As far as a large family goes, my Dad is one of 23 children. He never felt like a number or like he wasn't wanted. He grew up in a very loving and happy family. Even today we all get together for very rowdy, loving and fun family reunions. My Grandmother didn't go out of her way to "get pregnant" but she didn't believe in birth control either. She never "collected" babies and was very involved in ALL her children's lives. Even into adulthood.

    All I'm saying is it is all prespective. Unless you are in the situation it is hard to understand.

    I know this site has various opinions I just thought I should throw a little prespective into the discussion from someone who has walked in those shoes.
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  10. #1890
    signed, sealed, delivered maude~flanders's Avatar
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    Re: The Duggar Family

    Thank you for your perspective, Bjaminsmom!
    I also suffered a second trimester miscarriage, although it was just barely in the second trimester. It was a really tough loss because by then you are buying maternity clothes and baby stuff. I remember just holding a little pair of pj's I had bought for it and crying my heart out. I would have loved to have a photo of my baby to hold on to, but I couldn't. I actually have the positive pregnancy test in my scrapbook, with the condolence cards I received. It is so true that you hang on to whatever you have to memorialize that child.

    It is also highly recommended that you name a baby you lose, and hold it, if you can, in order to get healing and closure for the loss. I have read that in multiple places.
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