Fat March Episode 5: The Wreckage
Fat March is an ABC-TV reality series that airs Monday nights at 9/8 ET/CT. The overweight contestants walk 570 miles in 10 weeks.
Set Up to Fail
When last we left Fat March, the team voted off Will so they wouldn't have to make up his extra mileage, but they still have 6 miles they will have to make up during this stage. It is Day 32, and the goal is 18.2 miles in 5 hours. This goal is set just to have them fall further behind. As a marathon walker, I achieve 18 miles in 5 hours only ONCE A YEAR, during the Portland Marathon, when I have to make it to Mile 22 before the 6-hour cutoff. On my long training walks I take longer than 5 hours to walk 18 miles as I usually have several 10 minute breaks for food, blister treatment, etc. The marathon is the only time I power through the first 18 miles.
Trainer Steve makes a comment that it's unusual not to see Will behind them. This just strikes me as snarky, no matter how much I hear that Steve is a great and wonderful person in real life.
Anthony's Cunning Plan Backfires
Jami Lyn is lagging back with Anthony, who is now seen as the weakest link. Anthony's drama queen machinations are coming home to roost. After weeks of pitting the other marchers against anybody lagging, now he is the laggard. If he doesn't keep up with the rest, they may vote him off so they don't have to make up his mileage.
Just Plain Wrong
Now for extreme ick: Jami Lyn and Anthony are shown hugging and dancing in flashbacks back to camp. Jami Lyn is listed as a stay-at-home mom with a military husband. We are teased multiple times with an upcoming clip of a decidedly romantic-looking kiss between Jami Lyn and Anthony. Unless Anthony is a gay virgin rather than a hetero virgin, Jami Lyn is going to have a lot of explaining to do for her military husband. Is Anthony really "Jody back home?" Not only is she married, but Anthony is a manipulative, self-serving drama queen who deserves to remain a virgin. All of my love for Jami Lyn has died.
And Fail They Do
The grueling 18 mile goal just can't be achieved. Chantal jogs to the final deadline, and I think she should opt for some breast-reduction surgery after the show. She made it 15.2 miles, in what appears to be extreme heat. Others were stopped at 13 miles, and Anthony and Jami Lyn are at mile 12. That means they will be a total of 12 miles behind schedule.
Matt's Knee Brings Him to His Knees
Matt's knee finally gives out and he heads to the hospital. His meniscus is crushed and his anterior cruciate ligament is in shreds. The doctor doesn't recommend continuing. He tearfully decides to quit. Steve and Lorrie treat him like a fallen hero, and he gets a hero's farewell compared to how the other quitters, Kim and Wendy, were treated.
What is a Jicama?
The challenge this week is set at a Lancaster farmer's market. They will have a scavenger hunt for the fresh ingredients in a healthy meal. They have $30 for 30 minutes to find 30 ingredients in teams of two. Since they have an odd number, Sam draws the losing lot and has to sit it out an lose out on a chance for the prize - a trip to Hawaii. They way this show is going, the only thing these people will take away are any challenge prizes they win, so that's a big loss for Sam. There is a lot of consternation about jicama. First, nobody knows what it is. I guess the Marchers really don't ever shop for veggies, or they have truly pathetic local supermarkets. Or I'm a spoiled elitist. Loralie finds it, but buys the last one. Chantal and Anthony won't stay together and Jami Lyn and Michael rat on them. They are disqualified after being warned to stay together. Jami Lyn admits it was hard to find the various fruits and vegetables vs. sugar and bacon. Shea and Loralie found 29 of the 30 items, missing only because they got powdered ginger rather than fresh ginger root. My husband admits he wouldn't be able to identify jicama, but he knows ginger root since I keep some in my freezer for Indian dishes.
I couldn't follow along without a scorecard at this point. They have only to do 7 miles in 6 hours, which apparently will them a chance to catch up mileage. There is also a shortcut along the way, so they can canoe across the lake rather than walking around it, saving 5 miles. Nobody is waiting for Anthony this time. Anthony was running behind and running out of time to catch up his mileage. My husband wants to frame Chantal's quote of "Nobody wants to be the fat person alone in the canoe." We are shown very unflattering shots of the Marchers getting out of the canoes. Everyone but Anthony makes it to the end, having caught up their mileage. But Anthony ends up being 10 miles behind.
Anthony - I Knew Machiavelli, and You're No Machiavelli
Anthony needs to walk a total of 25 miles on the last day to catch up. He thinks he's a Machiavelli. He believes he has Jami Lyn and Michael in his pocket. He says Chantal won't vote him off because she is a "greedy *itch." and won't want to lose $10,000 by eliminating him. But he's not facing that they will lose everything if they don't all make it to DC in the last stage. Just lovely. Everybody else finishes just 3.5 miles behind schedule. Anthony did 15 miles, and so he is 9 3/4 miles down. Everybody else is 3.5 miles down, which they will have to make up in the last stage if they vote off Anthony. Otherwise, they have to make up his mileage. Given that they are now regularly being thrown 15-18 mile days, making up any mileage is going to be very difficult.
Weigh-in after 450 Miles
I'll list the pounds lost this stage followed by the total pounds lost in 8 weeks: Chantal: 8 pounds (37 pounds). Michael 6 pounds (67 pounds). Shea 11 pounds (45 pounds). Sam 9 pounds (68 pounds). Jami Lyn 4 pounds (38 pounds) now below 200 pounds, but very disappointed. Loralie 9 pounds (44 pounds) and now below 200 pounds. Anthony 14 pounds (80 pounds). Jami Lyn is disgusted that she only lost 4 pounds this stage. But she is looking lean and healthy - she is managing to gain muscle while losing fat, and may also be retaining water at this point as Matt was in Stage 3. But she is focused on the number on the scale, not the inches and leaner appearance. This is the biggest hurdle for those who exercise off fat - you need to rely on measurement and appearance, not the scale.
This is the last vote-off. But everyone who starts the next stage must finish in the time limit, or none of them win any money
. I don't think we were ever told that before - were the Marchers? Because it seems like they would be more ruthless in voting people out if they knew that before. What if they had more than one person lagging at this point, or if Matt had tried to continue? Keeping more than one injured/incapable person to this last elimination would have endangered them all in getting a dime out of ABC. This show has no incentive for anybody to make it, does it? If they just make it a little too challenging, they don't have to pay any prize money at all. Since Anthony previously said he didn't care about winning any money, I really think they should cut him loose. For once, they show Anthony's vote first, since he is the one in danger. Michael votes Nobody. Jami Lyn not only votes for nobody, she gives a shout out to everyone who has quit or been voted off. It comes down to Loralie as the first vote for Anthony. She is worried that she can't make up the mileage. Chantal also votes for Anthony - so I guess she's greedy in different way? Like getting ANY prize money vs. only $10,000 less? At this point, having lost 5 Marchers to quitting or vote-off, they are only playing for $40,000 each - and only if they all make it to DC within the time limits. We have seen that the time limits are being set to ensure failure and save ABC money. Everybody is crying. Michael and Jami Lyn are angry with those who voted for Anthony.
Jami Lyn hugs Anthony and tells Anthony that she loves him and "is in love with him." Noooooooooo!!!! But she seems a little shocked by the mouth kiss he gives her, although if somebody had just said they are "in love with me," I would think that was an invitation. Anthony had better be gay, as otherwise I find Jami Lyn's behavior inexcusable. Except maybe she has heat stroke. Yes, that's the ticket, heat stroke! At least she can use that excuse with her husband and kids.
Previews for next week: Jami Lyn walking after heat sickness, and it sounds like they make them walk a full 26.2 mile marathon