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Thread: Farmer Wants a Wife

  1. #21
    Frequent FORT SLEURKER AFrankR's Avatar
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    And we had a close semblance of "WALK OFF!" in the first episode!

    Rock of Love meets grown up Opie? I dunno. Brain Candy......don't really have to think on this one either!

    BUT......I find it amusing so far. For whatever that's worth.

  2. #22
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    ok...I watched this train wreck last night.....sigh it was an hour long chicken joke....just like hee haw....though the ladies aren't as good looking.....If all the contestestants would sing she met another and pftttttttttttttt she was gone at the elimination ceremony it would be a perfect country cliche.....

  3. #23
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    I watched pieces of this last night. He's alright looking and has a great body but really can any of these women live that far away from a mall or a major store? I don't see it.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  4. #24
    FORT fogey Lellis819's Avatar
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    Okay call me crazy but this network put out outback jack....he married his choice they have a beautiful baby girl and remain married. Now that's 100% compared to the Bachelors 0%. I get that it is also scripted to a degre, but I already find it more fascinating than TB. His first one- on one date was on a swing in his back yard!
    I hope it gets more viewers and god ratings!
    To be a Fly on the wall! Seek and ye shall find!

  5. #25
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Lellis819;2962419;
    I hope it gets more viewers and god ratings!
    I doubt if He's watching.

  6. #26
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    I LOVE this show. And the "Bachelor meets the Simple Life" quote from the article was exactly right! That is how i was describing the show to a friend on the phone last night.

    Josie is gonna be fun. I hope she sticks around for a while

  7. #27
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockytop Chick;2962748;
    Josie is gonna be fun. I hope she sticks around for a while
    I don't think the producers would let an entertainment gem like her get the boot too quickly.

  8. #28
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Florimel;2962050;
    Although I rarely watch this type of show, the title got me and I had to take a look at it. Rarely have I gotten such a good, out-loud laugh. Whoever cast Miss Will-We-Have-A-Maid should be doing farce.

    Were any of them sent home tonight? We had a power outage here and I didn't see anything after the "coop-off."
    Yeah, Miss "I've never seen a chicken in my life" Stephanie got sent home. I think we were all expecting 2 tons of fun Josie to go home but no, Matt said she brings out interesting aspects of the other girls. Yeah, because she's psychotic!

    I have to say that I am really amused by the camp factor of this show. And I laughed pretty much the entire way through the opening credits! Hilarious!

  9. #29
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    I thought it might be fun to write up a little recap for those of us who watched and those who missed the show. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find a full episode online (hope that’s coming) so I had to rely on the clips they posted on the website. And for the record, they re-aired it at 1 am…wish I had known that, I could watch this show a million times!

    First I’d like to point out how much fun the tv spots were, with spoof ads that said things like “Wanted: A girl who is smart, beautiful, and ready for some serious plowing”. Priceless. I’m thinking that they accidentally got the ads for this show and The Bachelor mixed up after all, because Farmer Matt seems to have all the charm while Bachelor Matt is evidently doing the, um, ‘farm work’.

    The show opens up with a cheesy little rap song which, personally, I love. It’s probably because it’s the kind of thing I’d make up if I was drunk and wanted to sing about dating a farmer. Once we get past that, it’s time to meet Farmer Matt. He’s a 29-year-old living in Portage Des Sioux (population 351) in Missouri and has 2000 acres. He says he’s lonely, wants a companion, and describes his ideal woman as being his best friend (and with that, I identify him with the sweet Texas rancher from Joe Millionaire 2). He wants a woman both physically and mentally strong, and someone to grow old with. Apparently it’s difficult to find a wife in Portage Des Sioux because most girls marry their high school sweethearts. To be helpful, they show clips of local women who are the ‘slim pickings’ making me think there’s going to be a defamation lawsuit in the future of this show.

    Next we meet the women:
    Ashley is a 27-year-old sales manager from Chicago whose career means everything but whose eggs are starting to rot (whoops, wrong show). She’s been cheated on by every guy she’s ever dated and thinks a country guy is more trustworthy.
    Amanda is a 21-year-old student, also living in Chicago who seems rather sweet. She wants a guy who will make their relationship his number one priority.
    Christa (with a C) is 22 and living in New York. I seem to remember at some point in the show that she likes having a Starbucks on every corner and Matt informing her that there are none in Portage Des Sioux. However, I also believe she was the only one intelligent enough to show up on the first day wearing sneakers instead of heels.
    Kanisha is 25 and once again, I messed up on where she’s from because it’s Ontario CALIFORNIA. She and Stephanie are the nods to diversity on the show. She’s a soft spoken girl with a lisp. She points out in her online interview that it’s annoying that everyone knows each other in Ontario and has dated each other. I’m wondering how she thinks a town of less than 400 will be better.
    Krista is 24 and an accountant from Orlando. She admits in her online interview that horses scare her but she grew up on a gravel road, so she assures us she can handle the country life. She says that even guys she meets who are 30 ‘live for the present and play video games’ which she doesn’t understand because who plays video games at that age? (all of my male friends that age and older)
    Lisa is a 21-year-old-theology major from LA who cops to being a virgin, so obviously she’d be perfect in Missouri where everyone stays a virgin until they’re married. Ha. Because according to her, farmers have stronger morals. She thinks they will have to pick corn, but isn’t really sure.
    Brooke is 23 and living in California but is originally from Texas. She remembers that country boys are better than city boys. She wants the whole fairy tale romance, dancing in the rain thing, and is also a virgin.
    Stacey is 25 and lives in Delray Beach Florida, not far from where my mother lives. We really don’t learn much about her either on the show or online.
    Stephanie is 23 and lives in LA. The first thing she does on the farm is step in a pile of manure in her heels, causing Matt to kind of chuckle and say that happens a lot. She’s never been in love and wants a sincere guy.

    And finally, Josie, the true gem of the show. I want to know where the producers found her because she is incredible. She’s a 25-year-old math teacher from Laguna Niguel, California who thinks that being a farmer’s wife means going to polo matches and having other people do the work. I think she’s confusing ‘farm’ with ‘plantation’ and think that it’s good she’s not a history teacher. She says she fights for men like they do in the Middle East-she’s going to blow you up before you blow her up. Oh, and she says she’s a 10+. I’d like to point out that if she’d wear less makeup (a whole lot less), do something about her oily face, dye her hair back to brown and wear more appropriate clothes for her body, she would be rather pretty. She was also apparently a Playboy model at one time, but I’ll let you do the google search for that one, I ain’t touching that. We see her visiting a designer shop before the show and saying she needs something ‘farmer-y’ to wear.

    Whew! That took awhile. There are various clips of the women arriving at the local airport, about half wearing mini-skirts and the other half donning jeans and sparkly tops. As I previously mentioned, only one was smart enough to forgo heels. They are all surprised when a school bus pulls up and a portly gentleman steps out, and there are more than a few relieved looks when he tells them that he is not the farmer. Meanwhile, Matt is going around the town asking how other residents feel about the ten women coming in. They must be reading off cue cards because all declare that they are excited for Matt.

    In order for the producers to make the introductions as cheesy as possibly, the ladies are dropped off on a dirt road next to a field, and Matt comes driving up on a tractor, sans shirt, which sends the women into shrieks of delight. Brooke is excited because she’s about to meet the man who’s for her, while Josie takes the more direct approach and unzips her top a little more. You can tell this is staged because, apart from having a uniform golden tan (what happened to a farmer’s tan?), as soon as the tractor stops, Matt pulls on a shirt, to the ladies’ chagrin. He then takes them to his friend Steve’s house, where they will be staying, and lets them meet Mom, who seems less than pleased as she surveys the bleach jobs and heels. Nevertheless, they are taken inside, which is decorated in a typical charming country style. One girl (I think it was Stephanie) observes “It’s plaids and patterns and sometimes both. It’s not my style. But nice! But not my style!” Josie says she’d fake a flood to collect the insurance money because everything is ‘so old’.

    Upstairs in the bedrooms, Josie begins to ask questions of Matt’s mom-is there a maid? (No) How do the toilets work? I want to know. Do you have to hold the handle down? Although Mom patiently answers all questions, she already seems to be regretting this. During this little meet and greet, Matt seems to like Brooke’s Texas accent, and Josie later admits she’d harass any guy who dumped her.

    The next day is challenge time-the girls must catch and coop chickens for an elderly neighbor to take to market. Stephanie is terrified that a chicken will peck her eyes out but most of the other girls seem determined to win, especially after Matt announces that whoever wins will receive immunity. With that, the contest starts, with Brooke flapping her arms and clucking, and Stephanie apologizing every time she catches one. Matt slyly observes to camera that it “looks like a bunch of chickens chasing chickens”. He’s rather impressed-except with Josie, who is watching in disbelief that the others would be so unladylike as to chase chickens. She doesn’t even bother moving, saying that she has perfect legs. In the end, Kanisha and Krista tie with ten chickens, and have a ‘coop-off’ which Kanisha wins.

    Later, they all go on a hay-ride, which I guess is this show’s mixer only without alcohol. Because when you have Josie, you really don’t need alcohol. She talks about Bush and the world, and none of it really makes any sense but she’s pretty adamant about whatever she’s saying. Matt says she’s “an intelligent person who is full of controversy, mixed with a little insanity”, but Stephanie manages to one-up her by saying she doesn’t know if she’s cut out to be a farmer’s wife. Then Matt jumps out and picks flowers for them all, getting oohs and ahs. His admission that he doesn’t wear underwear gets a few more squeals.

    At the house, Kanisha and Josie get into some kind of fight which devolves into Josie calling Kanisha ‘ghetto’ and Kanisha calling her a bitch while waving the flower that Matt gave her in the air. It seems that little gesture has sealed the deal for a few of the women-including Brooke- who admit to being in love with Matt. Again I think it is Christa who skeptically points out that just because “you see him and he sees you and you’re pretty and he’s pretty doesn’t mean it’s love”. So there’s one lady who has her head screwed on right about this whole thing. For now anyway. I give her one more episode before she’s talking about her amazing connection with Farmer Matt.

    So now it’s elimination time. Instead of getting a rose, the ladies have to reach under chickens to find an egg. Everyone gets theirs pretty quickly and looks at Josie, expecting her to be the one going home, but she smugly produces an egg and it’s Stephanie who’s leaving. Matt says that Josie allowed him to see another side of the girls that he might not have otherwise seen, which is clearly code for ‘the producers wouldn’t let me eliminate her yet’. Of course I’m thrilled, but the rest of the women don’t look too happy.

    And with that, we have to wait until next week to-wait a second, there’s more to the show? For some reason, tonight’s date takes place AFTER elimination and Matt chooses Christa “with a C”. She puts on a simple dress and tells the ladies to stop looking out the window for Matt. He takes her to a backyard swing and makes her a mint julep, making her get way too excited about a simple drink. That makes me think I was wrong earlier and maybe alcohol would be a good idea. Maybe it would cause a few more Josies to come out in the group. They hold hands and talk, and Christa with a ‘C’ gets the first kiss. All in all, it’s a very innocent sort of date and reminds me of when I was 17 and my boyfriend took me hiking in south Georgia to see the azaleas blooming. Meanwhile, some of the other girls decide to toilet paper Matt’s truck and get caught in the act, causing Christa to declare that they ruined an otherwise perfect date. While she’s ranting, Matt’s giggling, having thought it was kind of funny.

    With that, the show is over. Hopefully next week we get more shirtless shots, Josie-isms, and fun with animals. There’s nothing better than a reality show with animals.

  10. #30
    FORT Fogey Beachmom's Avatar
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    Re: Farmer Wants a Wife

    Quote Originally Posted by pretlitdev;2963339;
    To be helpful, they show clips of local women who are the ‘slim pickings’ making me think there’s going to be a defamation lawsuit in the future of this show.

    Next we meet the women:
    Ashley is a 27-year-old sales manager from Chicago whose career means everything but whose eggs are starting to rot (whoops, wrong show). She’s been cheated on by every guy she’s ever dated and thinks a country guy is more trustworthy.
    Amanda is a 21-year-old student, also living in Chicago who seems rather sweet. She wants a guy who will make their relationship his number one priority.
    Christa (with a C) is 22 and living in New York. I seem to remember at some point in the show that she likes having a Starbucks on every corner and Matt informing her that there are none in Portage Des Sioux. However, I also believe she was the only one intelligent enough to show up on the first day wearing sneakers instead of heels.
    Kanisha is 25 and once again, I messed up on where she’s from because it’s Ontario CALIFORNIA. She and Stephanie are the nods to diversity on the show. She’s a soft spoken girl with a lisp. She points out in her online interview that it’s annoying that everyone knows each other in Ontario and has dated each other. I’m wondering how she thinks a town of less than 400 will be better.
    Krista is 24 and an accountant from Orlando. She admits in her online interview that horses scare her but she grew up on a gravel road, so she assures us she can handle the country life. She says that even guys she meets who are 30 ‘live for the present and play video games’ which she doesn’t understand because who plays video games at that age? (all of my male friends that age and older)
    Lisa is a 21-year-old-theology major from LA who cops to being a virgin, so obviously she’d be perfect in Missouri where everyone stays a virgin until they’re married. Ha. Because according to her, farmers have stronger morals. She thinks they will have to pick corn, but isn’t really sure.
    Brooke is 23 and living in California but is originally from Texas. She remembers that country boys are better than city boys. She wants the whole fairy tale romance, dancing in the rain thing, and is also a virgin.
    Stacey is 25 and lives in Delray Beach Florida, not far from where my mother lives. We really don’t learn much about her either on the show or online.
    Stephanie is 23 and lives in LA. The first thing she does on the farm is step in a pile of manure in her heels, causing Matt to kind of chuckle and say that happens a lot. She’s never been in love and wants a sincere guy.

    And finally, Josie, the true gem of the show. I want to know where the producers found her because she is incredible. She’s a 25-year-old math teacher from Laguna Niguel, California who thinks that being a farmer’s wife means going to polo matches and having other people do the work. I think she’s confusing ‘farm’ with ‘plantation’ and think that it’s good she’s not a history teacher. She says she fights for men like they do in the Middle East-she’s going to blow you up before you blow her up. Oh, and she says she’s a 10+. I’d like to point out that if she’d wear less makeup (a whole lot less), do something about her oily face, dye her hair back to brown and wear more appropriate clothes for her body, she would be rather pretty. She was also apparently a Playboy model at one time, but I’ll let you do the google search for that one, I ain’t touching that. We see her visiting a designer shop before the show and saying she needs something ‘farmer-y’ to wear.

    He then takes them to his friend Steve’s house, where they will be staying, and lets them meet Mom, who seems less than pleased as she surveys the bleach jobs and heels.

    Later, they all go on a hay-ride, which I guess is this show’s mixer only without alcohol. Because when you have Josie, you really don’t need alcohol.

    So there’s one lady who has her head screwed on right about this whole thing. For now anyway. I give her one more episode before she’s talking about her amazing connection with Farmer Matt.

    Matt says that Josie allowed him to see another side of the girls that he might not have otherwise seen, which is clearly code for ‘the producers wouldn’t let me eliminate her yet’. Of course I’m thrilled, but the rest of the women don’t look too happy.


    With that, the show is over. Hopefully next week we get more shirtless shots, Josie-isms, and fun with animals. There’s nothing better than a reality show with animals.
    What a great recap, pretlitdev! I think this show is the perfect medicine for the bad taste in my mouth after The Bachelor (which actually hasn't ended yet but it has for me!) Thanks!

    Oh, and as a teacher, I want to know how someone who posed for Playboy could still be teaching! ; )

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