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Thread: Bad Girls

  1. #561
    Kneel before your god gamer83's Avatar
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Realitychick;3796923;
    I see your point, but labeling someone a racist for saying "sweaty black place", is going too far in my opinion. I've had white friends say to me, "I thought black people didn't wash their hair." When they said that to me, I was shocked that people were that ignorant... but I don't fault them for that incorrect assumption. I educate them and they learn. I don't label them racist because of it. It's about educating people who are not familiar with other races. Natalie herself has said some "questionable" things about her own race and other races, yet she is not being labeled a racist. I think it's dangerous to label people racist over one comment.
    This is what we need more of to move towards unity.

    The ideal way for that situation to have been handled was when Kate made the ignorant comment, to sit down with her and calmly talk about what she said and why it is offensive. Kate would have most definitely apologized, would have learned something, would have had a chance to better articulate what she meant to the girls, both side could forgive, and a positive message would have gone out over the airwaves.

    Instead of taking the high road and teaching though, they succumbed to the knee jerk "Yell really loudly and label her a racist" routine. I am sick and tired of that routine. It's divisive and accomplishes nothing.
    "I bet that a lot of people are b!ithing right now and they don't want me to be here but....I'm here to crush dreams! What can I say?"
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  2. #562
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by gamer83;3796978;
    This is what we need more of to move towards unity.

    The ideal way for that situation to have been handled was when Kate made the ignorant comment, to sit down with her and calmly talk about what she said and why it is offensive. Kate would have most definitely apologized, would have learned something, would have had a chance to better articulate what she meant to the girls, both side could forgive, and a positive message would have gone out over the airwaves.

    Instead of taking the high road and teaching though, they succumbed to the knee jerk "Yell really loudly and label her a racist" routine. I am sick and tired of that routine. It's divisive and accomplishes nothing.
    Completely agree. Negativity breeds negativity. Something positive could have come from the situation but the other people involved made it worse and acted ignorant and childish as well.
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  3. #563
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    Re: Bad Girls

    I don't give people passes for that sort of thing. If they don't mean to be offensive, they would apologize immediately after realizing that what thy said was offensive instead of repeating themselves.

    Anyway, I am so interested in this fight that is supposed to be happening next week. I hope Flo doesn't have to go home. I cannot imagine that she can stay after doing what we saw in the preview. It looks like Amber starts it but I can't be sure. I'd prefer Amber go home.

  4. #564
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3797022;
    I don't give people passes for that sort of thing. If they don't mean to be offensive, they would apologize immediately after realizing that what thy said was offensive instead of repeating themselves.
    I don't view educating an ignorant person rather than biting their head off as "giving them a pass". I just think positive reinforcement works more often than negative, and someone has to take the first step to open a dialog to get anything accomplished.

    How long have the Palestinians and the Israelis been going back and forth since neither side wants to "give the other side a pass". Israelis keep taking land, Palestinians keep setting off bombs and the cycle continues.
    "I bet that a lot of people are b!ithing right now and they don't want me to be here but....I'm here to crush dreams! What can I say?"
    ----Janelle after winning 3rd HOH out of 6 possible

  5. #565
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    Re: Bad Girls

    You wouldn't want to reinforce Kate's behavior. You reinforce a behavior if you want it to continue. But anyway, you can't teach someone who is not willing to learn. As I said before, Kate was defending and repeating herself. She didn't seem very concerned about learning how to say things differently. I think what upset her was that she didn't want to be labled as racist. But if the shoe fits (and it does)... She even says that she is the first person to admit that she is close-minded. Sure she can change, but she can't change if she continues to defend the indefensible.

  6. #566
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3797222;
    You wouldn't want to reinforce Kate's behavior. You reinforce a behavior if you want it to continue. But anyway, you can't teach someone who is not willing to learn. As I said before, Kate was defending and repeating herself. She didn't seem very concerned about learning how to say things differently. I think what upset her was that she didn't want to be labled as racist. But if the shoe fits (and it does)... She even says that she is the first person to admit that she is close-minded. Sure she can change, but she can't change if she continues to defend the indefensible.
    Positive reinforcement doesn't mean to encourage the comment. It means instead of yelling at her, sit down and have a conversation where you will not put Kate on the defensive so she will actually be open to hearing what you have to say and learning. Make it a positive experience, and she is more likely to accept what you have to say. Good politicians understand this concept and they use it frequently.

    Of course Kate defended herself, once the two girls went on the offensive instead of taking a more careful approach, they polarized Kate and "backed her into a corner". Back any animal into a corner and see what happens, humans are no different. Once someone is polarized, they will not listen to you, even if they know they are wrong. This is human nature. Iron fist tactics are rarely the best. I think Kate knew she was in the wrong, but there was no way she was going to admit it the way the girls had framed the situation.

    MLK knew this, that's why he called for civil rights via peaceful resistance, civil disobedience, and protests as opposed to Malcolm X's "By any Means Necessary" approach. Lo and behold, MLK was far more effective at bridging the gap with whites. If he was still around, rather than Jesse Jackson, I think things would be better off for everyone than they currently are.

    What I'm trying to say is Kate likely would have listened, had the girls approached the situation with more savvy. They needed to take the high road, not seek retribution for Kate's dumb comments.
    Last edited by gamer83; 01-15-2010 at 09:40 AM.
    "I bet that a lot of people are b!ithing right now and they don't want me to be here but....I'm here to crush dreams! What can I say?"
    ----Janelle after winning 3rd HOH out of 6 possible

  7. #567
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Realitychick;3796923;
    I see your point, but labeling someone a racist for saying "sweaty black place", is going too far in my opinion. I've had white friends say to me, "I thought black people didn't wash their hair." When they said that to me, I was shocked that people were that ignorant... but I don't fault them for that incorrect assumption. I educate them and they learn. I don't label them racist because of it. It's about educating people who are not familiar with other races. Natalie herself has said some "questionable" things about her own race and other races, yet she is not being labeled a racist. I think it's dangerous to label people racist over one comment.
    Yes, why is Kate the racist when Natalie has said some harsher things about different races while in there??? Double standard if you ask me!!!
    I can only please one person a day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either

  8. #568
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Well, then they are both racists. Does that make you happy?

  9. #569
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3797575;
    Well, then they are both racists. Does that make you happy?
    wow, no need to get testy. I'm just pointing something out. What's good for one girl to be called, is good for another since she is doing the exact same thing
    I can only please one person a day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either

  10. #570
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    Re: Bad Girls

    Yes, and I am agreeing. Both are racist.

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