Each week, our writers nominate and describe their favorite moments of the week in reality television.
10. Reversal of Fortune Cookie
We got our first look at the budding friendship between Daniel and Matthew this week. They got the chance to go for little walks and chat in Mandarin, a language they have in common. Since Matthew was born in Hong Kong he is more Chinese that Daniel is; according to Daniel. These guys seemed to be getting along pretty well until tribal council when Daniel shared their little secret about their Mandarin chats. The look on Matthew's face was one of sheer horror, quickly disguised by a smile, as Daniel told everyone about their secret coded conversations. The damage was done. Matthew, who to this point was just a slightly snooty gourmet chef of the Amazon, was revealed to be scheming with one of the tribe members. I am sure Matthew was not so sad to see his little friend eliminated this week. Now he has a better chance of cooking his way back into the good graces of the remaining tribe members.
9. Ryan Seacrest: Just Another Pretty Face
It's a fairly simple process. Ryan calls out the top three singers, according to the phone and text votes, reveals who the judges thought would get the top two spots, then tells us who has actually made it through to the top ten. With Patrick, Corey and Josh standing by his side, he played the tape showing all the judges saying they thought Corey and Josh would advance. All he had to do was read out four words, four measly words. The excitement of all the judges being in agreement was too much for Ryan to handle as he asked them, "Is this the first time you've all agreed and been right?" The only person in the studio who seemed to pick up on this obvious gaffe was poor Patrick, who was practically back in his seat before the two finalists were "officially" revealed.
Good job "Beauty Qualifies You" Ryan, you'd clearly be looking at a whole different career if you had to rely on your brain.
8. Back to Champagne and Caviar
Robin Leach was the first celebrity to be booted out of the get-me-out-of-here camp this week. Morale was low as Robin exited the camp and the remaining members realized their chef was gone for good. Their memories must have been short since they forgot just what a taskmaster the rich and famous representative had become. All they could think of was who would conduct the three-time-a-day strip searches and collect the rain water now that he was gone. Robin was not missing them the same though as he RAN across the bridge that would lead him back to the lap of luxury. Waiting on the other side was an odd but loving message from Charro and, you guessed it, champagne.
7. A little Irish Spring, lassie?
On this week's "Are You Hot?", we were finally introduced to Aja. She may be best remembered for not appearing on the pre-publicity section for the show. Or maybe the cartwheel as she was coming down the runway. Or perhaps Rachel telling her to "stop staring and smile." Hmm, maybe it could have been Lorenzo asking her what her heritage was (Irish and French), and then Lorenzo setting off the Lame-o-meter with "I've got a little Irish Spring goin' on here." Or maybe your favorite is Aja crying as we thankfully cut to a commercial, lamenting that she can't think of anything worse than being judged on your looks. Um, Aja dear, you weren't auditioning for Survivor.
6. Pheromones Abound
This week's Survivor Reward Challenge offered much needed interaction between the opposing tribes. Though the women could not have smelled too good, their bodies were working overtime to produce the intoxicating chemistry of pheromones. Grown men drooled and tittered and rambled over the women as the women pulled the reward rug out from under their feet. The guys could not have known what had hit them. They were still Ooing and Awing over the girls once back at camp. Though they could have used the reward, they were on a big high from seeing such heavenly creatures take advantage of them and their imaginations were running wild creating stories of how the women might scrub each other's bodies. Though they were not too far off the mark in that respect, they should each have their man card revoked for forgetting the goal of this game. That is something they promised themselves they would not do. Dave nailed it when he said they really needed to score.
5. Grab the bull by the...
...spleen, spinal cord, and snout. This week's Fear Factor contestants had to ride a mechanical bull to find out how much they had to eat in the second stunt. More than 8 seconds got them their choice of 2 of the snacks, less than 8 meant that they got all 3. All 5 remaining players failed to stay on, so their plates were full. Only Robinson and Olivia had stomachs strong enough to finish every thing off in time and keep it down.
4. Just Go....PLEASE
I must begin by stating once again that I cannot believe Survivor and CBS sued to keep I'm A Celebrity Off the air. Friends, this is NOTHING like Survivor. There is less whine in France. Fewer babies in an African orphanage. Less spoilage in the broken fridge at a restaurant. These celebrities, many of whom lost their15 minutes long ago, have done nothing but complain since arriving in Australia a week ago. They demanded a long list of “necessities” for their “survival”. The long list can be read in the recap found HERE. We were informed that if they didn’t get what they needed they would walk out. Melissa told us there would be 10 celebrities walking across the bridge. I was actually excited until I realized she meant them. I wish they would leave. Even Bad Boy Tyson demanded things, including, but not limited too a playboy magazine and a call to his manager. The producers gave in and sent tents, food, clothes, a generator, TV’s equipped with TiVO, personal assistants, a masseuse, a plastic surgeon... Yeah, I exaggerate, but not much.
3. Becoming Amazon Women?
The Jabaru tribe finally got their act together and appointed Deena as their leader, much to her reluctance. Shelter was built, food was caught, (much bigger than the meager guppies Dave and Matt found) challenges were won and tents were pitched in living rooms everywhere as the 'cute' girls made sure they were good and clean. What started out as a group of catty, lazy, hormonal women turned into a group of catty, less lazy, hormonal women who have managed to win all but one challenge.
2. Hey Robin, add an EPT test to that "necessity list"
Ok, now most people have had the basic 'birds and the bees' talk by the time they are at least 16. Apparently Julie Brown from I'm a Celebrity has not. Or, maybe it's a celebrity thing and they never get that talk. Who knows? Either way, Julie Brown was a little more than nervous when she had to do the "bushtucker" trial for the teams meals. She was supposed to spend five minutes in a tank with 100 leeches to get the meals. But, Julie had other things on her mind, she asked "can I get pregnant from a leech?" Poor Julie, I am sure she must have had flashbacks to former boyfriends, was she surprised to see there were worm like creatures in the tank and not real men? Was she possibly just wondering if her team mate Robin LEECH is sterile, straight, or simply available? Perhaps Julie is looking for a donor to father a child? Well, either way it was a moment one could ponder for hours if you have no life, and well then you could just simply think about what other things Julie might have no clue about like, what can you get from a toilet seat, it happens to everyone, it's no big deal, size doesn't matter, infomercial testimonials are real, the grassy knoll, and Jacko has only had two facial surgeries. In this case Julie's confusion about leeches, biology and the whole scenario makes this weeks top 10 list!
And now, our number one moment of the week...
1. Yes, We Know Who YOU Are...
On Tuesday's American Idol, we saw the most blatant display of attitude from the contestants in the history of the show. Leading the pack Tuesday night was Juanita Barber. After her performance of "What About The Children?", Simon told her she chose the wrong song. This set Juanita off, and she came back with, "Well, I think America chose da wrong juuuuudge." Randy tried to intervene and calm things down, but Juanita just started going off on him, claiming he didn't know anything about music. This prompted Randy to ask her, "Do you know who I am?", to which Miss Thing responded, "Do you know who I am?" Yes, Juanita, we know who you are. You're a last-minute substitute with a nasal, screeching voice who has far too much attitude for the talent (or lack thereof) that you posess. Knowing and caring, however, are two different things.
Frenchie, you were definitely missed...
The Top 10 list is a collaboration of our writers. This week's list was authored by Feifer, Cali, Fluff, Firegirl, Miss Filangi, Lobeck, JR, and John.