+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: The Top Five Famewhoriest Famewhores of Reality TV

  1. #1
    What do you DO all day? totoro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Age
    41
    Posts
    2,857

    The Top Five Famewhoriest Famewhores of Reality TV

    IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE REAL WORLD, AND IT WAS GOOD.

    Arguably the grandpappy of reality television as we know it today, the original season of The Real World lived up to its promise: “the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting REAL.”

    They got real, all right. There were flirtations, in-your-face arguments, racial epithets, drunken binges, and solid friendships borne – and it was all apparently genuine, and totally rad.

    The Real World lived on, and somewhere along the way it begat Road Rules. It didn't take long before they came together and incestuously conceived The Real World/Road Rules Challenge... and the beginning of the phenomenon we like to call Reality TV Famewhoring.

    Loosely defined, a Reality TV Famewhores (RTVF) is a person who has somehow found their way onto the cast of one reality show, only to find that when it's all over they want MORE. They may want another shot at the big win... or they may have found that their old jobs were no longer available to them after they made a huge ass out of themselves on national television. But a more likely scenario is that they developed a jones for having the spotlight shine upon them, no matter how dim that light actually shines.

    For your chewing pleasure, we have compiled a list of some of the most notorious culprits of this practice, in no particular order. To help you through this journey, we have applied a Famewhore Factor using cold hard scientific percentages, calculated by taking the value of the original reality show, multiplying it by total number of reality shows involved, and then dividing it by the product of the chemistry displayed at the end of the day and twelve, or in other words:
    ff = rtvf(x) / (hawt)+(12y)

    Shall we begin?


    Omarosa Mannigault-Stallworth

    Reality show appearances: The Apprentice, The Surreal Life, Fear Factor: Reality Stars, Battle of the Network Reality Stars

    (In)famous for:

    Taking a knock on the head from a miniature piece of falling plaster and blowing it out of proportion; hearing the phrase “the pot calling the kettle black” and blowing it out proportion; taking her perceived appeal to mass audiences and blowing it out of proportion.

    Famewhore Factor: 99.9%
    (editors note: Somehow Omarosa's score kept coming up as 66.6%, although her Famewhore Factor is clearly higher than that. To resolve, we applied the Holy Trinity (33.3) to her final score.)


    Jenna Lewis

    Reality show appearances: Survivor: Borneo, Survivor: All Stars, Kill Reality

    (In)famous for:

    After declining an appearance in Playboy after her first round of Survivor, Jenna shook things up just in time for the air date of the Survivor: All Stars finale. In a short period of time she married a guy she had been dating for a few weeks, filmed a raunchy sex tape of their honeymoon, impied that it had been stolen, and managed to sell it for $49.99 per. It was ultimately discovered that she had been the driving force behind the release and sale of the video, but by then she was divorced and shooting “Kill Reality” with a number of fellow famewhores.

    Famewhore Factor: 94.3%



    Toni Ferrari

    Reality show appearances: Love Cruise, Paradise Hotel, Kill Reality

    (In)famous for:

    'Roid rages and bugged-out eyes. Also known for melodramatic crying fits and shouting out challenges of “Yahtzee! Game on!”. Recently distributed a press release that detailed the abuses she has endured from “hostile show fans that call her obscene names and instigate physical confrontations.” True to Toni form, the press release went on to mention that she is shopping around another reality show, titled “I'm Really An Actress!”

    Famewhore Factor: 99%



    Adrienne Curry

    Reality show appearances: America's Next Top Model, Surreal Life, My Fair Brady

    (In)famous for:

    An anomaly to this list, Adrienne actually won the title on America's Next Top Model. While appearing on The Surreal Life, she fell for fellow castmate and former Brady, Christopher Knight. Currently starring in the show “My Fair Brady”, Adrienne continues to burp, fart and use overt sexuality to get her way. She looks like she might win this one, too.

    Famewhore Factor: 82.7%




    Trista Rehn-Sutter

    Reality show appearances and Specials: The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Dancing With the Stars, Trista and Ryan's Wedding, Trista and Ryan's Honeymoon Hotspots and Fear Factor: Reality Stars

    (In)famous for:

    After not getting her man on the Bachelor, Trista managed to get the starring role in the first ever series of The Bachelorette...where she got her man. And then she took that man, and turned their wedding into a Pepto Bismol nightmare of excess and corporate sponsorship, and continues to pimp out their relationship on a regular basis to In Touch Weekly and US Magazine. Remarkably, they are still buying the hype. Trista took a brief departure from her pink paradise to try a different flavor of reality, but ended up being the first “star” to get the boot on Dancing With the Stars.

    Famewhore Factor: 123%


    (Dis)honorable Mentions:


    Trishelle Canatella
    Reality TV Appearances: The Real World: Las Vegas, Real World/Road Rules Challenge (2 seasons), The Surreal Life, Kill Reality, Battle of the Network Reality Stars, Hangin' with William Hing, Reality TV Secrets: How to Get On the Show!
    Frankly, we think Trishelle, also known as Trashelle, should be in the top five, but when we ran her numbers, the laboratory exploded.



    Bob Guiney
    Reality TV Appearances: The Bachelorette (as fat Bob), The Bachelor (as skinny Bob), Kill Reality, Battle of the Network Reality Stars
    Again, Bachelor Bob should be in the top five, but we really didn't feel like making a commitment.



    Nikki McKibbin
    Reality TV Appearances: Popstars: USA (as fresh-faced, farmed-scrubbed blonde), American Idol (as a flame-haired wannabe punk vixen), Kill Reality, Fear Factor: Reality Stars, and Battle of the Network Reality Stars
    Nikki has been prolific in her Famewhoring, however we still think she's boring.
    I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French

  2. #2
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    New England
    Age
    41
    Posts
    6,952
    Quote Originally Posted by Totoro
    Famewhore Factor: 99.9%
    (editors note: Somehow Omarosa's score kept coming up as 66.6%, although her Famewhore Factor is clearly higher than that. To resolve, we applied the Holy Trinity (33.3) to her final score.)
    What a great article, Tots.

  3. #3
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Anticipating roses and broken hearts
    Posts
    7,271
    Quote Originally Posted by totoro
    But a more likely scenario is that they developed a jones for having the spotlight shine upon them, no matter how dim that light actually shines.

    (editors note: Somehow Omarosa's score kept coming up as 66.6%, although her Famewhore Factor is clearly higher than that. To resolve, we applied the Holy Trinity (33.3) to her final score.)

    True to Toni form, the press release went on to mention that she is shopping around another reality show, titled “I'm Really An Actress!”

    And then she took that man, and turned their wedding into a Pepto Bismol nightmare of excess and corporate sponsorship, and continues to pimp out their relationship on a regular basis to In Touch Weekly and US Magazine.

    Frankly, we think Trishelle, also known as Trashelle, should be in the top five, but when we ran her numbers, the laboratory exploded.

    Again, Bachelor Bob should be in the top five, but we really didn't feel like making a commitment.
    Excellent article with your unique witty edge, Tots!
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  4. #4
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    in a good place
    Posts
    27,046
    Frankly, we think Trishelle, also known as Trashelle, should be in the top five, but when we ran her numbers, the laboratory exploded.
    Naturally.

    This was a great stroll down memory lane. Hilarious!
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  5. #5
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    43,485
    That was a classic, totoro

  6. #6
    A pirate's life for me suncat7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Black Pearl
    Posts
    7,997
    Fantastic, Totoro! The Holy Trinity bit cracked me up.
    Always looking for cat treats!

    Breathe out, so I can breathe you in...

  7. #7
    Endlessly ShrinkingViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    4,714
    The Top Five Famewhoriest Famewhores of Reality TV

    IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE REAL WORLD, AND IT WAS GOOD.

    calculated by taking the value of the original reality show, multiplying it by total number of reality shows involved, and then dividing it by the product of the chemistry displayed at the end of the day and twelve, or in other words:
    ff = rtvf(x) / (hawt)+(12y)

    (editors note: Somehow Omarosa's score kept coming up as 66.6%, although her Famewhore Factor is clearly higher than that. To resolve, we applied the Holy Trinity (33.3) to her final score.)

    Nikki has been prolific in her Famewhoring, however we still think she's boring.
    OMG (but not in a Weaver family kind of way)! That was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. And who can argue with cold hard scientific percentages? Thanks, Totoro, for educating me today!

  8. #8
    Mixing Old Fashioneds PhoneGrrrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    4,978
    Great article, Totoro! I'd like to add that both Omarosa and Trishelle were on Celebrity Poker Showdown's sixth tournament. But that's not really a serial reality TV show and luckily we didn't have to see either of those famewhores after their one episode.

  9. #9
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    28
    Posts
    8,504
    Sheer genius. That is all.

  10. #10
    Toby's Slave kimrs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,806
    Great, great great! And they actually think we look forward to seeing them season after season because we're fans! I just enjoy watching to see how they will humiliate themselves next!

    Do you know who is the biggest Real World/Road Rules only Fame Whore?

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.