Wife Swap

[alohatanning]

Okay so for all who are wondering.. I am 27.. I do not sleep till 12. I run our three business. They needed soemthing good to get viewers. And yes The other family did need support for htere kids. I even bought them buink beds ebcusae they were sharing a futon before that... I even bought the little girl new clothes...This was a great experience but I as a parent run rampany for my two children, between school meetings my job, my husbands business. Which there is only one. We import furniture...I am very busy... I do not want you all to think that my kids homework is delayed EVER. I have very strict homework policies. They get home they do it.. ENough said. Then they can play. It is imperative for our youth to enjoy childhood. Especailly after a 7 hour school day. I hope you all understand. And please remember.. Not all reality is true reality.... Thanks again...

[alohatanning]

SO if you have any questions, please feel fre to contact me.. Also I didnt tell him to clean his hands when he walked in.. He told me not to touch his kids, so I had asked if he would go clean there hands becsaue they were jsut doing soccer and cheerelading all day, and I thought they should wash there hands before they eat. The children refused when I told them to.. And that little boy is one of thee most precious young men of all times... He was adorable...

[Jewelsy]

Welcome to the FORT alahatanning.

Well, I just finished watching and I was ready to come here all sorts of awful things about you. They definitely played you up to be the Barbie Bitch who could give a crap about anything except your appearance. I have no clue what 'really' went down during filming, but it sure didn't come across "good" for you.

Your husband on the other hand came across as a doll, albeit ADD, but still a doll.

Tatoo guy needs some anger management classes. BUT, if that whole bathroom sink exchange had've happened to me while I was trying to prepare dinner, I would've been just as pissed off.

And I ADORED tatoo mom. I just loved her sense of calm.

Oh, and I loved the laugh of the little girl from tatoo family. The other little girl was a snot (Barbie family). Sorry, alohatanning, but she really "came across" as a snot.

[Brandy]

Hi there alohatanning. I just now saw this show, on TiVo. I'd like to make some comments and maybe ask a couple things too.

First, I did think you and your family seemed pretty well-balanced. They were obviously going for 'characters' in editing, and I'm glad you told us some of the behind the scenes stuff. I'd have been afraid of Tattoo Dad - his tantrums. Obviously the way he reacted to being asked to clean the sink and the way he stormed in and out of the post-show interview was a bit extreme.

I thought you were really good with the Tattoo family's kids. I did wonder if you really stayed in bed til 12 every day cos you seemed to be very fit and all and like you'd get bored with that. They didn't show you actually diong anything in there like reading or playing a game and you didn't look tired. So that did seem set-up.

I'm gonna be honest, I was all prepared to dislike your husband, cos the show called him "Super vain" or whatever and I've known some real jerks who fit that description! But I didn't find him vain at all actually. He has to look nice for his jobs. I've dated actors that couldn't pass a shiny surface w/out looking in it and well I still live in L.A. where the men have as many beauty treatments and plastic surgery as the women!

Anyway, as the show wore on I wished they'd clone him. Do they make more like that? Lol. He really is all about his family and being good to you. The main thing that impressed me was he was so easy going and CHEERFUL about it all, too. Most men if they do help out or even work hard, they have to be pushed. Sad but true... Or they're grumpy all the time because of working all the time. Now I know this was just a few hours taping and all but I don't think a person can fake being happy.

I did think ALL of the kids on the show needed more time with their parents. That's one trap a lot of hard working or Type A parents fall into and it's a trap a lot of 'don't want to grow up' parents fall into too. You'd think the tattoo parents would play with their kids more since they play anyway. The tattoo mom seemed nice. Anyone who's good to kids is OK by me.

I wondered if the tattoo dad was just lacking in confidence. Could that be what all the tattoos and markings were about - especially the 'horns'? Almost like he's not gonna be hired for what he wants so why not have a reason. Then he can blame it on being 'different'. But when the sales mgr. told him he'd hire him without the steel posts - I agree with the person who said why not just grow longer hair and cover it up? Or heck even get a wig. Lol. The kids seemed to crave some normal activities for their ages. It was a good observation that they never had friends over. That's missing out on some important social skills they need to learn to have confidence. Do you know if that has changed for them? Do they have more buddies, now? That little boy was like the normal one in the Addams Family!

Ok, questions. Did the show tell you what to do or say? Examples please if yes. Did the tattoo dad ever threaten you or his kids? I thought you asked them to brush their teeth not wash their hands. I did think that you misread how angry he was getting and right or wrong (and I'm on your side about enforcing the rules) the timing was bad, and he was just gonna decompensate. I think he wanted praise for what he WAS doing. Did you praise his efforts ever? Oh and this might be mean of me but how dirty was their apartment? And how creepy were their friends really? (I thought it was great when you banned their friends for a while). About yourself - what did you mean by you found your strength? Especially in light of you already run businesses. Was it because you became the leader in Tattoo household?

Lastly, where did you find such a great guy?? (LOL... I'm not flirting, I'm married!) (I'm just curious how you two met and all that. And, I admit, I always wonder "how'd she do it" when I see a great guy who's so good to his family. As in, how did you know he was a winner?) Oh and I do have one quibble since I had a mom very into clothes too... and not so much into my interests. Do you ever do anything with your little girl besides shop? Thanks for reading.

[Xantham Gum]

I watched the Tivoed program last night and was prepared to defend the tattooed dad for merely being "childlike", which is a good thing instead of "childish" which is a bad thing. But then he threw his tantrums both in the kitchen and in the face to face meeting and I could not defend behavior like that. I agree about the NJ dad being presented initially as vain (spending all that time on his hair and clothes in the morning? What is he, a woman?) but in the end he came off as being very accommodating to the AZ mom (once she could get a word in) and just seemed to take the whole process with grace and good humor. His frenetic pace of life did seem to rob him of time with his kids but you have to respect his dedicated work ethic to provide for his family.

Of the moms, the AZ mom obviously came off as more willing to be flexible and maybe change some things that were not going great about her life as well as being very patient and gentle and caring with the NJ family. That girl was just being bratty in the clothing store with her "I don't care" remarks when told she would not get any clothes after she misbehaved and I thought the AZ mom was very patient with her. I don't think the NJ mom came off as being very introspective and did not seem to learn anything other than pat herself on the back for how "strong" she was for surviving the whole experience. From what was shown on the program, she did not seem to do much at either family except tell everyone else what to do and do for her. That may not be the case in real life and I know these shows are highly edited and contrived (particularly with all the "freak of the week" families we seem to be seeing each episode lately) but that's all I have to go on as a viewer and that's how it came across to me.

[alohatanning]

Ok...
As far as my daughter.. She ran away when a store clerk had asked baout annas burns and carvings on her body. Myself nor my husband was there so when Anna said she cut herself, my daughter got scared... They do not show that in editing.. ANd no I get up normally at 830 9 but my husband DOES get them off to school becase if he didnt.. He wouldnt get to see them. I am very active.. As you parents know running two children around is non stop chaos. YEs I do tend to microwave more but iti s generally meals that I have made on the weekends, so that during busy hectic weeks my kids can eat. We also eat dinner as a family... I couldnt do much with that family because the dad didnt watn any interaction.. VERY CHILDISH. HE controleed everything they did, even allowed them to disrespect me when I had asked them if they watned help with homework. My husband is great. BUt for any of you whose husbands are CEOs know. Business is tough and that is a desicion you make together... SO as a family unit we do whatever it is to support our children to give them a better lilfe. I normally do not get my nails doen as I have a tanning salon and the acrylic jsut eats away at it. My husband didnt "buy" it for me so that I can tan either. That was my business desicion to do soemthing with my life when my children reached the age they could go to school all day.
I did learn alot from the show. And hwhat you do not see is the reason I said I was strong is because in my first ever relationship, my ex was alot like JEremy and I was physically beat. I was worried over his temper and it took alot out of me to be put back in a bad situation. Understand? When you are tormented it is tough. I left crying for half of the time...
All in all. That made me be a stronger pereson for my husband and my chidlren. Knowing that mom can be mom and fight for what is right...Fight for my children and my husband. That is what I meant by strong..
Please any further questions please contact me.
Jamie
BTW I recommend doing the show to anyone who has self doubt.. Maybe not even about parenting but for your own self worth..

[alohatanning]

Brandy this is to you..
I am both of my childrens class moms, I run all social events at there school. We enjoy Mom and Me Sundays which they didnt show either. That is time when I take the kdis to do whatever they want to do. IE Chucky Cheese, Boardwalk.. PArk.. Rollerblading.. We shop every day because we have a very biusy household.. I always need to replenish the tanning salon. I see 200 people a day... SO that is what they meant by shop. Alex is given an allowance. If she does good job all week at shool and her weekly progress report is good, and she does her chores at home.. She gets about 25.00 generalyl she buys bras now. LOL ever since hillary duff.. My daughter wants traigning bras.. HERE goes the world.. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen make them for her age.
MY HUSBAND is wonderful.. The reason he isgood to me.. I met him when he was getting divorced. HE lsot evreything.. And together we made what we have, I got him a new business and supported it along the way. Even if that meant doing deliveries till 11pm with him.. When you love someone you do whatever it takes...

[Brandy]

Thanks, alohatanning. It's nice of you to answer our questions.

Wow, I'm very sad when I read about your ex, and it really makes the 'strong' comment have a lot more impact. I wondered if there was something like that but we saw no hint of it in the show.

It's also very inspiring the way your husband and yourself found each other, and "got it right the second time" what more can I say... What a romantic story. Really, your family seems pretty normal other than being high achievers which is a good thing.

Believe me I would not want reality cameras in my life or house... and most people's lives couldn't hold up to it. So any time I talk about reality shows it's as characters or entertainment. Anyway... I did think Tattoo Dad seemed calmer later. I think he needed a boost in confidence and a lot of his bluster is to cover that up.

It did worry me that their little girl is already thinking a woman's place is just to cook and clean! I'm glad you do stuff with your daughter... really these shows are so short. I didn't blame your daughter for not being comfortable in Goodwill, she isn't used to it. I was very picky as a kid and did not like used stuff. I'd have rather just kept what I had (and we weren't rich by any means. But I'm not that into clothes, as a kid I wore one favorite shirt every weekend. ha.)

Questions: The little girl in the Tattoo family especially had my heart cos her clothes seemed so faded and worn out. Did I understand correctly that you got them bunk beds? NOt that it's expected but did you get her any new clothes? She really seemed like she can use them. I may be old fashioned but it doesn't matter as much to the little boys (usually).

Do you keep in touch with them still? Have you heard from the producers since the show? Were they nice to you guys? Did they ever ask you to film a scene again so they can get a better shot?

I give you a lot of props for staying in a house where a grown man has a tantrum problem. That would've scared me, personally... him being a stranger and all that and cameras not being there 24/7. Too hard to tell where it's gonna go. With your last post that makes a lot more sense now about the strength comment. You know why I keep asking? Cos to me you seemed strong already.

But basically you guys seemed pretty 'normal' and (with) healthy relationships in the family and all that.... It is great that you both had happy endings in your lives this way. I guess I'm curious about one more thing although it's not really about the show. Did you ever get "hated on" for your appearance - being pretty? I did think I heard that you lost 200 lbs.? Did I hear right? Do you want to share that story at all? It might help someone out 'there'.

I'm glad the show was a positive experience for you. I hope it would be for everyone. Oh one last question, haha... After the Tattoo guy (I just can't recall any names! I watch tv while I do other stuff too and half watch it) stormed out of the post-show interviews... What did you guys do for three hours? Did they break for dinner? How did they talk you guys into staying? I did notice that after that point the focus seemed to be on praising Tattoo guy and there weren't really any more criticisms. Probably a good thing though.

Ok one more 'last question' haha. How have things changed in your day to day lives since the show aired? Do people treat you any differently - whether good or bad?

[Xantham Gum]

Thanks for showing there are real people behind these created personalities with complex stories that can't be summed up in 60 minutes. I hope you can take the comments you may read online as pertaining only to the characters presented on TV and not a judgement against you as a person whose real behind the scenes life is not known to them to make such conclusions.

I still prefer Wife Swap to it's FOX copycat show, Trading Spouses even though WS takes two weeks worth of events and crams them into one hour and TS takes one week of events and drags it out over two hours. I feel WS has a more structured format with clear rules to try it one family's way one week and rule change the next. WS also tries to conclude with what each family/couple has learned and I prefer the couples meeting at the end as in WS over the way TS just has the two moms meet. FInally, the distraction of the $50,000 in TS adds nothing to the show and probably affects the way the families treat the guest person, knowing they are in control of how much they get. That brings up one final question, do the participants on Wife Swap get any monetary compensation from their involvement on the show, even if it isn't a $50K reward like the families on Trading Spouses get?

[alohatanning]

Thanks guys.. And please do rememerb I am not saying I am not a PRINCESS, but I do not know of any HONEST woman out there that would not want there husbands to treat them that way.. I am not backlashign at American STandards merely setting an example of how I would want AMericas women to be.. On a pedestal. The Romans did it with such great dignity.. Not in a bad way.. But thanks...
And The new mom was good with my kdis.. However the one problem I found was that aroudn her husband she wasnt as strong... But my family loved her.. And I do find her to do alot, jsut not up to my standards of as you say "high Achievers" The world wouldnt be able to function without a complete mix in life. We need the over achievers and the rebelious.
DO you guys have any other questions?