Normally, we'd have our top 10 moments of the week here, but let's face it - last week sucked for entertaining reality moments. So, we happily bring you the Top 8 Moments of the week, and believe me, we had to scrounge to scrape up even eight of them.
8. Blood Bath and Showering Babes
In the first round of the Fear Factor Gross Out episode, each of the six contestants had to bob in a 50-gallon trough of cow's blood. They did this in order to retrieve as many rings as possible in two minutes time using only their teeth. Carrie White had nothing on this bunch.
After each attempt the contestants got to shower off in front of the camera. Though there were some hot contestants this episode, something about blood instead of suds dampened the shower excitement.
Each contestant seemed to do fine until we got to Joshua. He relayed a sweet story about advice given to him by his football coach that lead me to believe this guy was going to outdo all of the other contestants. Well, outdo he did! He was so psyched and ready to go that when Joe indicated time had started, Joshua growled and screamed and dove right in. He repeatedly pulled out with no ring and growled and screamed and stomped his way into shame. When time was called he had a pathetic count of 2 rings while the others ranged from 13 to 20 rings. Unbelievable! I bet his coach is really proud of him now!
Clearly fear was a factor for Joshua.
7. Sympathy For The Weasel
Poor old Evan. Railroaded into appearing on Joe Millionaire, unaware of the lies he would have to tell, the people he would potentially be hurting. You just have to feel sorry for him don't you? Frankly, no.
After literally seconds of angst ridden tossing and turning he decided he needed to talk things through with one of the shows Producers. Apparently he's never had to lie to get a woman in bed before. Interesting, I wouldn't have thought "Hi, I'm Duke Suede" had a very high success rate.
6. Diving for Dollars
On Celebrity Mole Hawaii this week we got to see bathing beauties during the final game of the show. The last clue of the game let the players know they needed to dive to get a bag of cash each. Once Eric and Frederique found the pool they dove in and grabbed the cash quickly. Meanwhile Kathy walked over and removed her clothes slowly and took her time trying to figure out what to do. Once she finally jumped in, she dove halfway to the bottom and came up empty handed. Then she tried again grabbing the wrong bag. Instead of grabbing a moneybag attached to a weight, she grabbed the weight bag and panicked. Since the weight bag was too heavy for her to pull up, she thought it was impossible. It took much urging from Eric and Frederique to get Kathy to give it another try. Finally she dove down and struggled with the right bag, pulling it up in the nick of time. They won the cash for the pot and only had the final Mole Quiz to go.
5. Do you want a single room aura double?
Trista and Russ are orangey blobs with yellow bits in them. The woman who took photographs of their aura's declared them a well-suited couple. This was not compelling enough evidence for Russ to get his toes over the threshold of the fantasy suite to spend the night with Trista. Compatible aura's clearly don't do it for Trista like little blue Tiffany boxes do.
4. Your Slip Is Showing.
Who says Evan Marriott aka "Joe Millionaire" isn't pure class? He doesn't know his gnocci from his ravioli, begs like a puppy dog at the dinner table and probably thinks Freud is how most people like their chicken. After Mojo's "He has a lot of money and I'd like to get to know it" and Melissa's "I'm mercenary" comments, Evan decided to get in on the act this week by asking Zora if she bought her "breast" in France. Zora smiled sweetly and replied that she wasn't wearing a dress at all, it was a skirt and top.
Seems clear Evan was eyeing up a different two-piece.
3. Flyiní High Again
Diva daughter Kelly and her fired drummer friend Sara managed to do something that I didnít think was possible Ė embarrass Ozzy and Sharon. After a few tantrums and general buffoonery, Kelly and Sara decided to crash the grown-ups quiet dinner. In a drunken stupor (Iím assuming because we didnít actually see them drink, but I have a hard time believing she was sober), Sara entertains the folks by performing a table dance, or at least attempts to. After removing her shirt and tossing it onto the dinner table, the underwear clad spaz tumbles backwards down to the floor. Her dismount sends Kelly into a fit of laughter along with claims of having pissed herself. Ah, what a fine bit of dinner theater, you can see why itís called ďSin CityĒ.
2. Red Light Spells Danger.
Wednesday night's American Idol may have only been and hour long, but somehow Kimberley Caldwell managed to get into more camera shots than ever. Wherever the "red light" pointed, Kim could be found hamming it up.
She rushed Charles and clamped on to him when it was announced he was one of the top three performers. His moment of glory at being declared overall winner on the night bought forth another death grip hug from Kim, coupled with a "good choice America!" straight to camera. Even supposed arch rival Julia was not immune from Kim's "jaws of life" congratulatory smothering, when it was declared she was to occupy the second automatic qualification berth.
The camera loves her, but not half as much as she loves the camera.
I would really hate to be behind her at a traffic light.
And our number one moment of the (boring) week...
1. Papa, Don't Preach...
After singing Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" on Tuesday night's American Idol, Patrick Forston went over to face the judges' critiques, and he got just as much criticism from Simon about his outfit as his actual singing. When Simon laid into Patrick about his choice of attire, Patrick's dad (who was in the Red Room watching the whole time) came to the stage to defend his son. Though the argument with Simon didn't last long, Patrick's dad was able to point out that when his son sold 30 million copies of his CD, then Simon could talk to him about clothing. A CD going platinum thirty times over? I don't know about that, Papa Forston.
Poor Patrick. While Papa Forston and Simon were engaging in their witty repartť, all Patrick could do was stand there and hope the whole embarrassing thing would just end already.