Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy, and don't forget to vote in this week's POLL
Host Chris Harrison proved himself to be the absolute master of taking 30 minutes worth of pertinent information and stretching it into a three hour show on the finale of The Bachelor. After an hour of seeing Charlie take his final two ladies home to meet his family, which was punctuated at each break by Chris reminding us how he was being surrounded by a “live studio audience” all eagerly awaiting Charlie’s final decision, we moved into the live portion of the show.
It was nearly a full two hours before a decision was requested of Charlie. Meanwhile, we made several trips to the ladies dressing rooms so Chris could get continued updates to his question “So, how do you feel?” Copious variations thereof followed along with continued assurances that Charlie’s decision would follow. . . after the break . . . after a final visit to the dressing rooms. . . after a final chat with the families.
Even Sarah B claimed to not care what the decision was, she just wanted to know and when Charlie dealt the crushing blow to Krisily she seemed more relieved than upset.
Disappointing really, there was likely good odds to be had on the highly-strung hairdresser going for his throat.
Frustrated of Hollywood.
You have to hand it to Paula, she isn’t letting Corey Clarke’s allegations of an affair get her down.
She sobbed when Constantine was booted, courted controversy by prompting Vonzell to reveal a possible emotional reason behind a poor performance and continues to splutter her way through incoherent appraisals.
We’re at the final three stage on American Idol and the judges got to choose a song for each of the contestants. Simon played safe in his selection for Vonzell, Randy attempted to inject some “sexy” into Carrie’s performance with his choice, and Paula chose, "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" for Bo.
Perhaps she was sending us a subliminal message that she's on a short leash while, as promised, Fox and 19E investigate Corey's claims.
How to Bogart an Entire Series.
A musician at heart, Bo Bice is the one contestant who always takes the time to acknowledge the band after each performance on American Idol. This week he chose to dispense with their services entirely for one of his three songs. Bo went a capella on “In a Dream” by Badlands. The crowd was stunned silent during the performance and bought the house down when it ended.
In a season where we were witness to the likes of Mikalah and Janay annihilating perfectly innocent songs and the shriek-laden return of the current title-holder, Bo’s performance should be placed into the loftiest spot of the AI Hall of Fame.
In further deference to his brilliance, the producers should ban a capella performances in future for fear that a lesser vocalist will try to regale us without the benefit of being drowned out by music and backing vocals.
Don't You Know That You're Toxic?
Those of us who always felt Britney Spears was a talentless, skanky, attention whore had our suspicions confirmed this week, via Britney's own hand.
In the debut of her show Britney and Kevin : Chaotic, she literally turned the camera on herself and proceeded to treat us to Blair Witch-style close ups of her spotty chin while the juvenile comments came thick and fast.
Britney displayed an obsession with sex, to the point of telling anyone who would listen how many times she'd partaken that day, in a style more in keeping with a 15 year old boy swapping conquest stories with his buddies than a 23 year old woman.
Earlier in the year Britney claimed to want to keep out of the spotlight.
After this show, she'd likely be more successful convincing people that there is a genuine need for her to show up at concert soundchecks.
When All Else Fails, Cry!
Naima seemed destined for the runner-up position on America's Next Top Model. Despite winning several challenges throughout the competition, the judges never seemed to really warm up to her. It didn't seem to matter how many competitions she won or how many good pictures she took, Tyra & Co. seemed to prefer Kahlen's innocence and Keenyah's attitude. Tyra even went so far as to tell Naima that she wasn't memorable and needed her personality to 'pop'. Nothing she did seemed to work. Nothing, that is, until the night she cried at panel, caving to a well worn ANTM tradition. The tears worked and the judges felt that they finally saw 'Naima', as Tyra would say. That glimpse into her soul, plus a fab photo shoot and a killer runway challenge, was all she needed to become America's Next Top Model.
The Power of The Shape
It's always fun to watch a strong contestant crash and burn on their way to the finish line and The Apprentice's Tana was no exception. In the space of a couple episodes, Tana went from tough competitor with the Mary Sunshine demeanor to the arrogant bitch on a power trip. Tana clearly believed that of she and Kendra, she was the superior candidate. When it started to become clear that Trump didn't feel the same way, Tana started to lose it. The capper came when Trump started to congratulate Kendra for giving her teammates credit in the same task that they abandoned her on. Tana snapped and insisted that she, not Kendra, was the reason they won the task and started to screech about her contribution to the task; the shape of the brochure. Tana's theatrics were successful enough to get Kendra to admit that the shape was Tana's idea. Unfortunately, Tana's extensive knowledge of shapes was not enough for Trump and he hired Kendra as the first female Apprentice.
Little Big Man Pays it Forward
Down to the final four on Survivor, Ian seemed determined to do anything to get to the finish - even turn on his stalwart alliance partner, Tom, with whom he had spent the game strategizing, scheming and sharing awards. Trying to prove to Jenn and Katie that they could trust him over Tom, he told the girls that if the opportunity came up, he would join them in voting out Tom. Luckily for Ian, his loyalties were not put to the test, since Tom won immunity. Or...was Ian so lucky? Jenn wasted no time in telling Tom that not only had Ian been thinking of turning on Tom if he had won, but he had already promised the girls he would. Tom seemed stricken at the thought that Ian would even consider voting against Tom, much less that he went so far as to verbalize the thought. If it weren’t for Ian’s solid fire-building skills, he would have been voted out by his long-time buddy and confidante.
In the final immunity challenge, Ian’s mind must have been swirling. He had betrayed Katie in favor of Tom and been caught at it; now he had only been thinking about betraying Tom, yet had earned Tom’s disgust. Faced with a lifetime of cold shoulders from his buddy Tom, Ian announced at the eleventh hour - literally, they had stood on buoys for eleven hours - that he would give up the challenge if Tom would promise to take Katie to the finals. That’s right, one more clever plan from Ian! But wait... this was no last-ditch effort at the million, this plan excluded him from the winner’s circle. It seems that Ian finally grew a heart big enough to match his exceptionally tall frame.
Thanks to this week's contributors; Fluff, Hepcat & Miss Filangi