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Thread: Top Reality Moments for May 9-15.

  1. #1
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002

    Top Reality Moments for May 9-15.

    Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy, and don't forget to vote in this week'sPOLL!

    She Puts the "W" in Delusional

    Reality show contestants often blame their displayed behavior on bad editing. On this week's The Bachelor Women Tell All, we learned that despite the fact that Sarah W. appeared to be a completely self-absorbed witch during the show she was actually edited to look nicer than she was. The venom displayed by the other women towards the self-described "beautiful" and "sweet" one was remarkable. We were treated to several scenes which showed the absolute antipathy many of the women felt toward Sarah W. Kindle, who appeared to be one of the more rational bachelorettes, went after Sarah. W. in a relentless manner. Kindle decided to bring out the double F's in describing Sarah W., "Fake and fickle." Something about fairy dust was also mentioned. At the end, Sarah W. seemed to see nothing wrong with her money-making rotation scheme of dating 5 nights a week and took no responsibility for the fact that she is just plain egotistical and has the self awareness of a gnat.

    Hari Caryn.
    On one hand you could vote with the men and make the final three. On the other, you could throw your support behind a women’s alliance and make the final three. Neither option was too shabby for Caryn on Survivor, who only made it past week two thanks to Ulong’s disasterous immunity challenge performances.
    Caryn decided to entertain the jury and the viewers though by blowing the gaffe on as many Koror secrets as she could. Jeff had barely opened up proceedings before Caryn was spilling left and right about Ian’s plan to oust Gregg, bully Katie and control the game.
    When Tom stepped in to try to limit the damage, she accused him of lying, much to the amusement of Coby who fought to stifle giggles from his seat on the jury.
    Caryn set the cat among the pigeons and found herself ousted for her efforts.
    Thanks for the floorshow, but it’s clearly wise to keep your revelations to yourself until after you’ve been voted out of the game. You may well influence the jury, but you’ll also see to it that they won’t have the opportunity to cast their $1m votes for you.

    Back From The Brinkley.
    With everyone else having fought their second round bouts, Jesse Brinkley knew he was fighting Anthony last week on The Contender… if only he could get down to the right weight. He lost a massive 7.5 pounds in less than a day, but, ever the strategist, Anthony refused to fight him unless Jesse lost the extra halfpound to bring him back within the maximum. He duly did it, grumbling and bitching as he went and seemed out of sorts when fight time came around. Everything was pointing to a Bonsante win, but we hardened Reality tv fans know better. Despite losing three of the first four rounds, Jesse adjusted his attitude and connected with a punch that sent Anthony into next week and made made Jesse the recipient of the next pair of golden gloves.
    Not only did he move a step closer to the $1m prize, but he also allowed trainer Tommy to impart some valuable advice to any bolshy, overweight fighters out there, “just lose the effin’ weight and lets go”.

    Fortune Favours The Shaved.
    They were stripped of their cash and belongings after a flat tyre put them into last place.
    Had to start the leg bumming a ride off a stranger to take them to the airport to beg for money. Of course the airport was in the opposite direction to the way the other teams were going putting them further behind. Even Uchenna’s offer to perform circus tricks for cash fell on deaf ears to begin with.
    Uchenna and Joyce were due some good fortune on The Amazing Race and it eventually came their way, three-fold.
    A bunch up put them back into contention, a kind pilot who allowed them to board the same flight as Rob and Amber moved them into second place and a cabbie who knew enough Spanish to help direct them to the location of the final clue put them in the lead.
    Of course we expected a cliffhanger and fans sat on the edge of their seats wondering if Uchenna and Joyce would be able to beg enough cash from the sparse pool of locals to pay their cab fare before Rob and Amber caught them.
    They did, and were cheered across the line by their former competitors all of whom seemed very pleased with this season’s winners. Even the majority of the fans seemed pleased Lady Luck finally shone her light off their matching chrome domes.

    The Proof is in the Reading.
    Tana wasn’t happy with her team of helpers for her final task on The Apprentice from the moment she laid eyes on them. Stuck with the three hot heads of the season it’s hard to blame her. What task would you entust to those three individuals? If you said "approving the copy for their event brochure" you’d be wrong.
    Kristen decided to forward the background notes she was given about the participating athletes for printing, verbatim. We only got to the hear one gem, how an athlete wouldn’t perform at the event, but was great on camera, but judging by the way Tana ordered that all copies of the program should be hidden under a table rather than circulated, it seems fairly safe to assume far worse was commited to print.
    If Tana had known that Kristen was about to perform such a potentially catastrophic public relations faux pas she might well have passed on trying so hard to get Kristen up out of bed, tiptoed out of the suite and let her have a lie-in.

    Thanks For The Entertainment…Now Please Go Away.
    Even those vehemently opposed to their inclusion in The Amazing Race surely can’t argue that Rob and Amber competed like champions and barely exchanged a cross word throughout the whole experience. Very refreshing compared to some of the contestants on this and past seasons.
    They were blessed by copious amounts of good luck. When they were stopped at a police check point just minutes from the pit stop and looked to be heading into last place, Uchenna and Joyce’s taxi got a flat. Their minor celebrity status also bought forth a steady stream of locals willing to help them, but for the most part “Romber” can credit their own determination, skill and risk taking for getting them to second place.
    It was fun to watch you Romber, but your fifteen minutes is well and truly over so you can now retire gracefully from our screens. . . until later this month when your wedding is broadcast.

    There's No Crying in Survivor

    On Thursday's Survivor, we learned the big secret. Apparently Ian and Katie are married. Ian had blithely promised to take Katie if he won a reward. When he was sitting in his first car ever, a sweet little red corvette, *cue Prince* Ian cruelly (at least according to Katie) chose to take Tom with him because it was a car reward. Whatever. When he and Tom returned to camp after enjoying a feast at a mansion, Katie gave Ian the cold shoulder. Once he finally convinced her to go for a walk, Katie stuck a dagger in his heart. She informed Ian that he had betrayed her and she'd lost her best friend. Did Ian bitch slap her into next week as she deserved? No. Instead, he sat down, blubbered on the beach, and offered to quit for her. Perhaps he was channeling his dolphins' PMS.

    Let’s All Suck At Once
    Nobody’s quite sure whether it was a full moon or the spoiled milk in the organic mocha chai latte’s backstage that generated the suckfest which became American Idol. One thing is for certain however: if you’re gonna suck, suck like you‘ve never sucked before. Bo Bice somehow managed to brutally hatchet a song that was already a solid gold piece of crap. Carrie Underwood choked out the words to “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” at the rate of one word an hour. By the time the audience woke up, Vonzell was too busy making excuses for having bad day, dragging Paula into the emotional spotlight. Yet ironically, it was Anthony Federov who was the most consistent of the night. The young lad laid it on the line, trading in his usual John Secada-like performance for his own show. How fitting it would be that the only one who sang like an American Idol, would find himself leaving on a jet plane. Or perhaps the song categories should be questioned? Maybe Philly should stick to subs and leave the country to the Nashville stars.

    Thanks to the writers who contributed to the article this week. In alphabetical order, they were fluff, Mariner and speedbump.

  2. #2
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    in the hizzy
    Quote Originally Posted by fluff
    has the self awareness of a gnat.

    Hari Caryn.

    Lady Luck finally shone her light off their matching chrome domes.

    Thanks For The Entertainment…Now Please Go Away.

    On Thursday's Survivor, we learned the big secret. Apparently Ian and Katie are married.

    Did Ian bitch slap her into next week as she deserved? No. Instead, he sat down, blubbered on the beach, and offered to quit for her. Perhaps he was channeling his dolphins' PMS.

    Let’s All Suck At Once

    One thing is for certain however: if you’re gonna suck, suck like you‘ve never sucked before.

    Great moments this week everyone!
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    in a good place
    I have to second that, these are great moments! I found myself chuckling and nodding along, and I don't know what to choose.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Thanks again for excusing me from watching most of these shows-you all make it possible!!

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