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Thread: Top Reality TV Moments for May 2-8

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    Top Reality TV Moments for May 2-8

    Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy, and don't forget to vote in this week's POLL!

    Beauty’s Only Skin Deep .
    It was time for Charlie to whittle his three ladies down to two this week on The Bachelor and it was clearly a given that Sarah W would get a rose. After all, as she continually reminded us, she was beautiful, fun, beautiful, a great catch, beautiful, the best match for Charlie, not to mention beautiful.
    Charlie chose to give roses to the other Sarah and Krisily, leaving Sarah Dub out in the cold. In her tearful exit interview, Sarah offered the following gem by way of a snapshot into her difficult life, “It’s like you know, so like, you know unfair to like, you know be beautiful. If only I’d been a little uglier”.
    Well, Sarah whatever anyone’s opinions are of the outside packaging, you’ve certainly fully accomplished ugly on the inside.

    Fighting For A Bargain.
    Following his victory against Ahmed in the last bout, Alfonso got to take his buddy, Latin Snake Sergio, on a shopping spree with Jackie on The Contender. In “Pretty Woman” style, they hit the stores on Rodeo Drive, each armed with a generous wad of cash. The smarmy salesman pulled the old “see if you like it first, then I’ll tell you” technique when Sergio asked the price of a shirt he was being shepherded into.
    Sergio needn’t have balked at the $495 price tag, Jackie had a plan in mind.
    Pointing to Alfonso's bruised face as evidence, she asked the assistant if they could have the “boxers discount” .
    While ther clerk's face betrayed the fact he had no idea the store even had one, she managed to score their purchases at 30% off.
    You will likely never need to utilize Jackie’s boxing related skills, but it’s worth giving yourself a black eye and taking her shopping.

    All Is Well Again In The Universe
    A collective thank godsigh could be heard from the producer’s of American Idol late Wednesday night. After a week of conspiracy theories and rumors of vote rigging, tin-foil hat enthusiast’s would rest easy as the departure of Scott Savol shifted the balance of the Force from evil to good. While Scotty fans were rightfully sad, the other 99% of American Idol fans were glad to see the vindication of last weeks dismissal. It was clearly not a happy night for Mr. Savol and Vegas odds makers were already taking bets on when the first accounts of midnight trysts between “The Body” and the cute and floopy Paula would become available for the public to salivate over. But for now, the top four are in place and all is well in the land of American Idol. Despite a sharp increase in the sale of pitchforks and torches, there would be no proverbial storming of the Bastille…at least for the next week.

    Trumped Up.
    Tana and Kendra are left to duke it out for the title of The Apprentice with what they’ve been warned is their toughest task yet. Whether running NYC 2012, a sports exhibition to promote New York’s Olympic bid, or hosting the Best Buy World Video Game Championship, a team will be required and The Donald helpfully provided them each with one…with a catch.
    Kendra gets scatterbrained Danny, Erin and Michael, Tana gets hot-headed Brian, Chris and Kristen and no, despite Tana's polite request, they were not allowed to change the teams around.
    With Danny and Erin floundering in a presentation to Best Buy execs and bickering already breaking out among Tana’s team over the vitally important issue of whether or not Kristen looks good in hats, it’s a toss up as to who will win and whether the greater challenge is in performing the task or managing their teams.

    Those About To Rock, We Salute You.
    After the predictable ousting of Stephanie last week on Survivor, events came very close to interesting this week when we almost got to meet up with an old “friend”.
    Sensing they’d lost an ally in Katie, Ian and Tom shook hands on letting the purple rock or doom decide their fate in the game by forcing a tied vote at TC.
    An aggressive move, a bold move, an exciting move…that never happened.
    Ian blew the plan by cleverly assuring Katie’s vote against Gregg before they left to cast their ballots. We never got to see the tie, didn’t see the panic in Katie’s eyes as she processed the idea of drawing lots to stay in the game and didn’t see her crumble into a heap and change her vote to save herself.
    Good move for Ian, bad move for the viewers who came so close to actually seeing some excitement from this run of the mill season.

    The Hidden Claw
    She’s been criticized for standing by her man, gazing at him in doe-like fashion as he makes cracks about other teams for the camera, but Amber on The Amazing Race might just be more than a silent partner to Boston Rob’s more vocal personality. In this week’s episode, the team faced a crossroads that could potentially be disastrous; they learned of a flight that would put them in London earlier than the other teams - but only if they could make an extremely tight connection. The other teams chose the safe route of a direct flight, and Rob was leaning toward joining the pack. But unexpectedly, it was Amber who argued for taking a risk. Rob looked mighty uncertain about their chances, but Amber convinced him the payoff would be worth the gamble. Lucky for her, she was right...but where did the backbone come from all of a sudden? The Amber we’ve seen up until now has been meek, indecisive, and completely in “must obey Rob” mode. If this is the Amber who has been racing across the world, the editors have been leaving her personality on the cutting room floor.

    Stomp Not Lest Ye Be Stomped
    It was a proud moment for Keenyah when she won the “go-see” challenge on this week’s America’s Next Top Model. She was very conscious that her fellow model-wannabe’s weren’t really on her side. Maybe one or two of them were ticked by the way she shamelessly pushed, shoved, and dashed her way ahead of her competition during the challenge. What with Keenyah's recent weight gain, skinny little Kahlen had no chance against her in a shoving match, and the element of surprise helped her to dart past Naima. So what if she was pretty much out of options when she was told she could invite one friend with her on her reward? Keenyah picked Brittany, the only girl she didn’t stomp on that day, to accompany her to an industry dinner party. At the party, Keenyah laughed along with the rest at first when Brittany charmed the guests with her zany, fun-loving personality. But soon Keenyah suspected that no one was paying attention to her, and she fumed silently with righteous anger. Didn’t those people realize that she had won the challenge? It was all-too-clear that the only girl who made industry contacts that night was the gregarious Brittany, while Keenyah got a little taste of her own medicine.

    You Be The Judge.
    Tyra tested how much the wannabe’s had learned about the modeling industry on America’s Next Top Model this week, by having them offer up critiques of each other’s shots. In Brittany’s case the answer would be “not much’ as she was rarely able to offer anything more than an “I think this is a great shot” , although in fairness she did sometimes add a giggle. Kahlen and Naima both showed shrewd knowledge with accurate critiques, but Keenyah decided to display her understanding of the “models are bitches” angle of the business by homing in on anything negative in the shots. She described Brittany as “stiff”, Kahlen looked “confused and dazed”, Christina was a “hunchback” and after Naima had commented that Keenyah looked as if she was smelling something rotten in her picture, Keenyah countered by commenting that when she looked at Naima’s shot she saw “dirty in her underwear, just dirty”.
    Never the shrinking violet’s, Tyra’s two most flamboyant judges appraised each other following a slight disagreement.
    From now on, Nole will be known as “short, fat, squatty, bald, blind boy” and Janice is “plastic surgery victim, freak of nature”.

    Thanks to the writers who contributed to the article this week. In alphabetical order, they were Fluff, Hepcat, and Speedbump.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Soooooo enjoyable to read. Thank you all!!!

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